I recently took an Amtrak train up to New York for a long weekend. I love the train for many reasons, especially because it gives me a chance to roll past my alma mater – the University of Pennsylvania. I always get a little teary eyed. Those years were hard for me. I learned a lot. Struggled a lot. Grew a lot. And growth is often painful. It’s uncomfortable to become something. It’s scary and difficult. And yet, it must be done. To become the people we’re meant to be, we have to grow and evolve. We need to learn hard, painful lessons about life, about the world, and about ourselves. Sometimes I think it’s a miracle of the highest order that I even survived. Do I wear my diploma like a badge of honor? You bet I do. I earned every letter of that sucker and then some. I wouldn’t want to do it over again, and yet I’m grateful for it. It taught me to stare into the fire and smile instead of flinch. And that kind of strength is invaluable. It erases fear.
Tag: courage
In the pause: The future takes time
If you ever grow weary over this next four years, I want you to remember that our present situation is not our future. The tide is already turning. And while this present moment seems almost unbearable, know that the majority of America believes in a brighter, better way. Our only job is to hold the space until tomorrow is today. The future takes time.
In the pause: The kind of women the world needs now
“Please hear me, Girl. The world has enough women who know how to do their hair. It needs women who know how to do hard and holy things. The world has enough women who live a masked insecurity. It needs more women who live a brave vulnerability.” ~Ann Voskamp, author
I’m marching on Saturday to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with women all over the world, and the noble men who know that women’s rights are human rights, to send one loud and persistent message: we will not be ignored. We have earned our seat at every table, over and over and over again. We will not be reduced, diminished, or belittled. We will not allow ourselves to be objects. We do not have a price. We will be recognized for our hearts, our minds, and our spirits. We will be seen and heard and we will not back down regardless of the criticism we may face or the source of that criticism. We will give our time, attention, energy, and love to those who are deserving of it. Don’t get it twisted: January 21st is a commencement, not a culmination.
In the pause: Celebrate your unique journey
A friend of mine is resetting his life: new job, new city, new just about everything. Though he’s excited about his adventure into the unknown, he’s also feeling uncomfortable because he’s comparing his life to the lives of others, especially to friends and acquaintances on social media.
In that moment, my friend just needed me to listen to how he was feeling. He didn’t want advice; he just needed support. He just needed to be heard and validated without feeling guilty. So I held that space for him. At the end of the conversation, I told him I was really proud of him for taking his own journey, for not letting these comparisons and fears stop him from redesigning exactly the life he wants.
My hope for him is the same hope I have for all of us—that we celebrate our own unique journeys without any judgement. Our conversations also made me even more grateful that this year I’m making more time to pause and disconnect online so that I can connect more with my own spirit and with the spirit of others in the world.
In the pause: Carrie Fisher’s advice on your voice
“Say your weak things in a strong voice.” ~Carrie Fisher in an interview with Charlie Rose
I think the hard thing about speaking our truths, especially ones that hurt, is that they often make our voice tremble. You know how it goes—the lump in your throat, the tears in your eyes, the shaking in your hands. We’ve all got those truths, some of them buried deeper than others. What Carrie Fisher gave us was an example, a template, to help us say and own these hard truths with a strong and clear voice. You don’t need to be ashamed of things you’ve survived, however tenuous that survival may be. If you are here, then you have the right to stand tall and proud, to speak out, and to claim your place at the table with an experienced and knowledgeable point-of-view. No one can take that from you. That is yours, so own it.
Wonder: An email from Hillary
I got an email from Hillary Clinton yesterday. I understand it’s a mass email but it made me feel better to hear from her. I’m looking forward to her next chapter. I’m grateful for her leadership and will always admire her strength, courage, and determination to build a better world for all people. She’s not done, and neither are we. Onward, indeed.
“Christa —
Before this year ends, I want to thank you again for your support of our campaign. While we didn’t achieve the outcome we sought, I’m proud of the vision and values we fought for and the nearly 66 million people who voted for them.
I believe it is our responsibility to keep doing our part to build a better, stronger, and fairer future for our country and the world.
The holidays are a time to be thankful for our blessings. So let us rejoice in this season and look forward with renewed hope and determination.
I wish you and your family health, happiness, and continued strength for the New Year and the work ahead.
I look forward to staying in touch in 2017. Onward!
With deep appreciation and warm wishes, I am,
Yours,
Hillary”
Wonder: Trying to understand race in America
A good number of my closest friends are black and they have taught me so much about race over the many years we’ve been friends. Despite our very personal and open conversations, I will never know what it’s like to be black in America. Still, I try my best. I want to understand. I care deeply that all people, everywhere have equal opportunities and resources to build a happy, healthy, and productive life.
Race issues are human issues, and we all bear responsibility for them. In the past few weeks, I’ve been trying to further educate myself on the history and state of race and I found the sources below powerful and necessary. I highly recommend them to everyone regardless of your politics, race, or beliefs. As a white person, they were often difficult for me to read and hear. And then I thought of my friends, my neighbors (I live in a predominantly black neighborhood), and the black community in America, and how much they have endured and fought against for far too long. If they have the courage to live these stories, then good god the least I can do is listen and learn.
My President Was Black by Ta-Nehisi Coates
What Donald Trump Doesn’t Know About Black People by Michael Eric Dyson
Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood by Trevor Noah – working my way through this and it’s wonderful!
Loving (movie) by Focus Features
The National Museum of African American History and Culture – I’m going later this week and can’t wait to share my experience with you!
The New York Times‘ Race/Related newsletter
Every Tone a Testimony – 59 tracks of voices in music, oratory, poetry, and prose by historically renowned African American musicians, writers, and activists
Wonder: The Jungle Book
“How many lives is a man-cub worth?” ~Shere Khan
After I saw it was nominated for a number of awards, I watched the live action version of The Jungle Book that was released this year. I can’t help but think about what a powerful allegory it is for our times. A community of wolves, loving and faithful to one another, protected a member of their pack, Mowgli, who was different. All they wanted was peace and acceptance for everyone. The member of their community who was different posed no threat to anyone, and yet a dictatorial tiger, Shere Khan, demanded that Mowgli be turned over to him to be destroyed. Mowgli left of his own volition for the sake of the pack, and still he was pursued by Shere Khan. On his way to the man-village where he will supposedly be protected and accepted, Mowgli makes friends who help him defeat Shere Khan.
Would we have the courage to protect someone who was different? Would we have the courage to standup for ourselves when faced with bigotry? When the moment comes to fight for what we believe in, would we back down in fear or would we rise and stand tall against injustice?
The Jungle Book is a story written for children, but its lessons have far-reaching implications for all of us. Literature is both a mirror and a teacher. It shows us what we’re made of. It gives us something to aspire to. It inspires us to become greater than we think we can be.
Wonder: Staring Donald Trump in the eye and not flinching
Tonight, Donald Trump and his family were interviewed by Lesley Stahl for 60 Minutes. My first reaction was “I can’t watch that”. And my next thought was “I have to watch that”. I have to bear witness, because as ugly and painful as it may be, bearing witness is vital to democracy and freedom. For reasons I can’t quite share yet because they are still in the fundamental planning stages, it was crucial that I watch that interview. I need to look this man in the eye, albeit through a TV screen, and know exactly what we’re up against. His presidency is about to have an enormous impact on my life and the lives of so many others whom I hold dear. As an entrepreneur, innovator, product developer, writer, and activist, I have to listen so that when I speak and act I do so armed with truth and knowledge. Take heart, friends, the only way out is through, and together we will get through this.
Wonder: Good trouble’s comin’ to town
“Some of the sweetest berries grow among the sharpest thorns.” ~Scottish Proverb
The new administration has activated an ugly underbelly in this country. And it’s also activated something else it didn’t bargain for—you, me, and everyone else who cares about fair treatment, justice, and dignity for all people. Let’s not underestimate the power of persistent, unrelenting goodness and what Congressman John Lewis calls “good trouble“. Now that’s a rally cry I can believe in.
Christa Avampato 