There’s an older man in a wheelchair who makes balloon animals for all of the kids near the Columbia Heights metro stop. No matter the weather, he’s out there. I walked past him the other day as a little girl ran to him smiling and squealing with delight. You’d think he was her long lost best friend. And he returned that smile right back to her. The two hugged and he immediately began twisting a balloon into a puppy for her.
That unparalleled joy from both of them showed me the power of connection, the power of giving and receiving. It can come from everyone to anyone everywhere at any time. It knows no limits nor bounds. A smile builds a bridge across every divide and level of diversity. It brings us all together.
When something doesn’t go your way, do you spend any time wondering “why on Earth did I have to go through THAT?” Consider this explanation:
Let’s say you’re in a relationship with someone who turns out to not be the person he represented himself to be when you first met him. It’s highly likely you’ll wonder what his purpose was in your life because now you’re really confused and hurt by the end of it all. Why didn’t the Universe just keep that guy away from you to begin with?
Take a step back because maybe it’s not all about you. Consider this: the Universe wants all of us to rise up and become our best selves, that jerk of a guy included. So you were a gift to him from the Universe. A valuable, precious, amazing gift. And, yes, you could have helped him a lot. You would have been the best thing for him. But he didn’t want the gift of you. Maybe he didn’t know how to appreciate the gift. Maybe he didn’t feel worthy of it. Maybe he didn’t think enough of himself to feel that he deserved it. Or maybe, and this is the saddest reason in my opinion, he actually doesn’t want to be happy. He’s comfortable being miserable.
Your gifts and your light are too valuable to be wasted. He didn’t appreciate the gift of you so he doesn’t get to keep it. The Universe puts an end to it all, and that’s how it has to be for your sake. This whole thing wasn’t about you at all. It was about him. The Universe would have loved nothing better than for him to evolve, but he chose not to so away you go, one way or another.
This duality of what’s in it for you and what’s in it for the system as a whole is always in play. It applies to every interaction we have in every setting. Something for you and something for someone else that together leads to something for the system of which you’re both a part. Apply it to jobs, friendships, romantic relationships, creative projects. The same principles apply.
It really isn’t all about you. It’s about all of us, together.
I love Ryan Adams, and all the more so for quotes like this: “There is nothing wrong with loving the crap out of everything. Negative people find their walls. So never apologize for your enthusiasm. Never ever.”
The negative people I meet—and sadly there are so many of them out there—often think I’m overly enthusiastic, that I’m just too excited about life. And to that I say, “Someday, I hope you realize what you’re missing.”
I do love the crap out of everything—my friends, Phineas, my city, my writing, my creative projects, music, art, books, animals, nature, my home, travel. You name it and I can find something I love about it. Negative people will knock us down; that’s their choice and we can’t control it.Whether we stay down or eventually rise up is our choice and we do control that. Their behavior has nothing to do with us and everything to do with them. Their negativity is a direct reflection about how they feel about themselves, not how they feel about us.
So here’s my advice: take every wall that a negative person throws in front of you and carve a window into it. Crawl through that window and leave those negative people behind.You are not responsible for them. They don’t have anything to offer you and they don’t want the gifts you have to give. That’s their loss, not yours. You deserve to be surrounded by love; don’t settle for anything less.
Last week, I had the extreme pleasure of volunteering with Little Salon DC, a fantastic program that runs monthly artist salons. The title artist is defined broadly at Little Salon DC meaning anyone with creative moxie and the courage to put their creations out into the world in some form.
This month we enjoyed opera, physical comedy, puppetry, poetry, fiction, and homemade jam. It was all topped off with plenty of drinks, revelry, and smiles. 60 of us loaded into a beautiful apartment in the U Street area and by the end of the night, no one wanted to leave. It was truly a collection of 60 of the coolest, kindest, and friendliest people in D.C., all in one fantastic venue. I’m excited to get involved with this incredible effort and to grow its passionate mission.
Here are a few pictures snapped by my friend, Logan, at last week’s event. We’re already looking forward to October’s edition. To learn more, visit Little Salon DC’s website and follow along on Twitter at @LittleSalonDC. Viva el artista!
Christa Avampato 