career, decision-making, discovery, education, encouragement, work

Step 350: It’s Not Knowing that Really Counts

Christa Avampato

“Education would be so much more effective if its purpose were to ensure that by the time they leave school every boy and girl should know how much they don’t know, and be imbued with a lifelong desire to know it.” ~ Sir William Haley, British newspaper editor and broadcasting administrator

If Sir Haley were standing in front of me right now, I’d give him a hug. I love him for stating exactly what an education should be about – unending discovery. Rather than people striving to be the smartest person around, what would our world be like if for every answer we found we had two more questions? What if every time we became an expert in one area, we marveled at how many areas we know nothing about?

This quote reminded me of a post I wrote for my friend, Amanda’s, blog about being a beginner. It’s going to be the spring-board for this blog in 2011 – more details to come on this in a not-too-distant post. Life’s more fun as a beginner. We don’t know what we don’t know and therefore we ask lots of questions, we try out ideas, we explore unencumbered by any notion of what’s been done before. Beginners are the best innovators because the word “should” is not part of their thinking. They have no idea what they should do. Sometimes the resource or experience you don’t have is the real blessing.

We may not know what our life’s purpose is. We may not know what’s next for us as we turn our attention toward 2011. We’re just beginning – this is where the fun starts.

The image above can be found here.

career, happiness, work

Step 349: 4 Ways to Turn Your Work Into the Fountain of Youth

Christa Avampato

“To find joy in work is to discover the fountain of youth.” ~ Pearl S. Buck

Imagine if 40 hours a week you worked at a place that felt joyful? As long as there are people there will be politics and disagreements, but what if on the other side of those aspects there was a firm common belief among the entire team that everyone’s goal is to build as strong and vital a company as possible. What if egos could be put aside for the sake of the common good. That’s the kind of place I’d love to spend my time, and I’d be more than happy to offer up as many as hours as needed.

Somewhere along the way toil and work became synonyms in our society. Americans started to do whatever they needed to do to earn the title, the paycheck, and all of the prestige that goes along with both of those things. My friend, Amanda, and I were talking about how difficult it can be to walk away from a job that looks so good on paper and to the outside world. Stay in that type of job long enough and we’ll lose a little part of ourselves. Don’t be seduced by the check and the title – what we make matters, and if what you’re making doesn’t matter to you then we’re all missing out.

4 Ways to Love Your Work and Find the Fountain of Youth:
1.) Follow the energy
2.) Make 3 lists: what you would do for work, what you might do for work, and what you will never do for work. Then spend 2 weeks roughly keeping track of how much of your current work falls into those 3 buckets. If you’re spending too much time in the might and the never buckets, it might be time to find something new.
3.) Use your performance review time wisely. This is a great time of year to clearly (and calmly) let your employer know where you want your career to go. Can’t have that type of conversation with your boss? Then it’s definitely time to think about what else you’d like to do.
4.) What did you want to do when you were 8? Or 9 or 10 or the first time you remember being really excited about having a career? Can you get back there?

What’s worked for you?

The image above is not my own. It can be found here.

apartment, New York City, rent

Step 348: More Space Than I Thought I Had

Christa Avampato

In New York City we are used to small spaces. 1000 square feet, a modest size for many other cities, feels like a palace in New York. the size of our apartments is a normal topic of conversation, as is how much we’re paying for it, what amenities our neighborhood has, and our dreams of a private outdoor area just outside our door. We are a city obsessed with the idea of space, and we usually think we don’t have enough.

Since getting Phin, I have had a little wire playpen set up for him. I leave the door open and within its tiny perimeter I kept his food, water, bed, toys, and yoga mat. (Yep, he has his own yoga mat where he does all his deep thinking, just like me!) Now that we’ve been together for 3 months, he’s chilled out and I folded up his playpen and just placed it against the wall. I couldn’t believe how much room I had once I took it down! My tiny studio (and I mean seriously tiny, not just perceived tiny) seemed so much bigger.

I was reminded of how much room and time we have in our lives. I’m one of those people who is regularly guilty of over-stuffing my schedule. It’s ridiculous, and I have no one to point the finger at except the lady in the mirror. When we work to fit something into our lives, when we consciously make room for it and then have that time or space free up again, we realize that we aren’t time or space starved. We’re awash with it. Life seems so short, and yet if I think back on everywhere I’ve been, everything I’ve done, and the great volume of living that lies ahead, I realize that life is long. The opportunity to do an abundant amount of extraordinary work, is constant.

The photo above is a New York City studio apartment. Tiny but made to look big by a wide camera angle.

New York City, rent, yoga

Step 347: I Booked a Room For My Yoga Classes

Christa Avampato

After a solid month of looking intently for a room to teach my own yoga classes, I found one. I looked at over 50 spaces in total.

I was picky. I wanted:
– beautiful space
– bright
– shiny wood floors, sprung (meaning they have some cushioning to them)
– well-maintained
– housed in a place with lots of artists around
– quiet, ideally sound proof
– good subway access
– doorman
– elevator
– affordable
– professionally managed
– amenities like clean restrooms, wi-fi, and a comfortable space for students to wait if they arrive early
– ability to move to a smaller or larger room to accommodate the class size
– mirrors
– easy cancellation / re-scheduling policy

I asked for the world. In truth I was pickier about the space than I was about finding my own apartment. I wasn’t willing to live with less. If I’m going to ask people to come to my class and pay to be there, even if it is a modest $10 a class with $2 donated to a charity of the student’s choice, I’m going to make sure it’s perfect. And as Brian always tells me, “You get what you settle for.”

Pearl Studios NYC located at 500 8th Avenue between 35th and 36th Streets will be home to my very first independently run yoga classes as part of Compass Yoga. Classes start on Sunday January 30, 2011, 6pm – 7pm. The class on the 30th will be free to anyone who’d like to attend. Thereafter, they will run every Sunday from 6pm – 7pm. Schedule will always be posted here and on this Facebook page. I hope you’ll join us!

The photo above is a picture of the room where I’ll be teaching yoga at Pearl Studios. (We’ll move the piano!)

gifts, good fortune, happiness

Step 346: The Blessings We Don’t Expect

Christa Avampato

“When we lose one blessing, another is often, most unexpectedly, given in its place.” ~ C.S. Lewis

After seeing the off-Broadway show Freud’s Last Session, a possibly close-to-true meeting between Sigmund Freud and C.S. Lewis at the start of World War II less than a month before Freud’s self-prescribed passing, I’ve been seeing C.S. Lewis everywhere. Not literally of course, he passed in 1963, but in quotes, in the advertisements of movies and theatrical productions based on his books, as the topics of numerous blog posts. So many authors are known for being brooding figures, dark and sometimes troubled individuals. One of the things I love about C.S. Lewis is his true belief in joy and his long journey to find it. His own autobiography is entitled Surprised by Joy: The Shape of My Early Life.

In this season of counting our blessings, I came across Lewis’s quote above. I’ve seen lots of quote on how to turn lemons into lemonade and the like. This quote is different – it recognizes that we may lose people and things we love and cherish, that we will be disappointed not by not getting what we want, but by getting what we want, exactly what we want, and then grappling with it slipping through our fingers. Lewis counsels us to hang on, to keep searching, to believe that even in the hour of our grief another happiness is just beyond our doorstep.

I like the sentiment and today, on a rainy, gray Sunday, I’m celebrating it. It keeps me believing that life is always full of surprises and that we should constantly be prepared to be delighted.

The image above is not my own. It can be found here. I have no idea where this place is but I believe that in a place so beautiful it must be overrun with unexpected blessings.

choices, clarity, meditation, wellness, work, yoga

Step 345: A Meditation to Find Purpose By Following Energy

Christa Avampato

“From the spiritual perspective, all disease is undiscovered purpose.” ~ Nan Lu

I’m wrestling now with purpose. At 34, I thought that piece would be figured out and that I could then turn my attention toward working for that purpose. What I’m learning is that like happiness and balance and peace, purpose seems to be less of a destination and more of a daily trip we’re taking. I’ve been going too small with my idea of purpose. Maybe it isn’t a certain career or activity or population I’d like to help but a broader, less specific concept. “Make ’em laugh” sounds like a worthy purpose. “Inspire storytelling” would be another. Maybe that’s a better, more achievable direction for purpose – a flexible structure.

This week I talked to Brian about my continued quest for purpose. “What am I supposed to be doing?” I asked him. And in his very-Brian way, he took me toward point B so I could learn something that would help me get myself to point A. He helped me frame up my own question by asking me to focus on a friend of mine who is going through the same cycle I am to find his own purpose. It was amazing that when I thought about the advice I’d give my friend, I found my own answers, too. “You have to follow the work that gives you energy and ditch the activities that drain you. Your body already knows how your heart should spend its time.”

Sometimes we think about the body as this very superficial structure that is merely meant to house the spirit, maybe because the body won’t last forever and we are really hoping that the spirit will. The greatest lesson that yoga has taught me is that the two work together. The body is so much wiser than we give it credit for. It knows what it needs. When we are doing an activity we aren’t meant to do, our body will grow tired no matter how much sleep we’ve gotten. When we are on the right path, the body moves with ease. If we follow our energy, will it lead us to our purpose?

Meditation technique to find purpose
Take a comfortable seat. Deep gorgeous inhales. Deep calming exhales. Scan the body and wherever you feel tightness or pain, focus the breath there, one area at a time, until those muscles relax. And then once you’ve focused the breath on each stressed area of the body, allow your lips to take the faintest smile, maybe just turning up the corners of your mouth slightly. Focus only on what it feels like to have your entire body relaxed. After a few minutes, gently open the eyes and take that feeling with you out into the world.

Focus on finding activities that allow the body to feel as relaxed as they do in meditation, even when we’re in motion. Those activities, I believe, will lead us to our purpose, one day at a time. I’m going to give it a shot. Will you join me and let me know how it goes? I promise to do the same.

The image above is from thebuddhagarden.com

adventure, failure, journey, travel

Step 344: Finding, Losing, and Finding Again

Christa Avampato

“Balance is not something you achieve and hold on to. It’s more ephemeral; it’s a string of temporary successes, held momentarily, lost, and then discovered again…it’s not permanent. When you lose it, you just have to have faith that you’ll come back to it.” ~ Carmel Wroth, Associate Editor for Yoga Journal

“Peace is a daily, a weekly, a monthly process.” ~ President John F. Kennedy

“Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling.” ~ Margaret Lee Runbeck, Time For Each Other

“Better to have lost at love than never to have loved at all.” ~ Poison

Well there’s a crew that you’ve likely never seen in a blog post before. All week I kept seeing a pattern of encouraging words about finding exactly what it is that we want, losing it, and heading out to find it again. Clear messages of impermanence coupled with the pep talk of “keep going.”

When we lose we think about giving up. We regret the effort and time and heart that our now-gone adventures required. The apparent waste lies heavy on our hearts because what we had, and loved, didn’t last. We’ve equated losing to mourning.

So let’s turn our losing on its head. When we lose our way, let’s think about the excitement of the search ahead and the joy we’ll feel again when we find our new path. If we find ourselves off-balance, let’s close our eyes, breath, and begin to balance again. Can we find just as much happiness in the search as we do in the find? Can we always make our way back to peace no matter how much anger we may feel? And when we separate from a long-time love, can we look forward to falling in love again?

It’s a tall order. Losing and then continuing to try takes a lot of heart and courage. Failure is a worthy opponent, but I will always believe that every failure is something we can rise above and be better for tomorrow. Don’t beat yourself up for losing. From time to time we’re all going to find ourselves there. What really matters is if you can stay in the game with an open mind and an open heart. Be a seeker.

The image above is not my own. It can be found here.

adventure, celebration, friendship, philanthropy, women, writer

Step 343: Celebrate What You Want More Of

Christa Avampato

“Celebrate what you want to see more of.” – Tom Peters

I went to a set of focus groups this week that reaffirmed my belief that most of the time focus groups are useless. I left the event rattling off a million complaints about the session. Mentally complaining about the session was ruining my mood.

On the way to work the next morning, I was flipping through my emails and saw the quote above from Tom Peters. I love Tom Peters because he strikes the perfect balance between optimism and criticism. He doesn’t see everything through rose-colored glasses but he also refuses to say that “this is the way it is because this is the way it’s always been.” He thinks differently. He evolves.

Criticism is easy, which is why almost everyone has the ability to be critical. What’s unique is when someone is critical and wants to be helpful, when someone wants to shine a light on things she loves and cast a shadow on things that she wishes would slunk away. Reward only good behaviors and in time they will prevail over the bad ones – very similar to the training I do with my pup, Phin.

To kick off some celebrating today, I wanted to tell you about my friend, Sharni, and her incredible efforts to support Afghan Women’s Writing Project (AWW). Sharni is a friend I met on Owning Pink and then have gotten to know through an exchange of our blog writing, tweeting, and Facebooking. I think of her as my blogging sister down under and although she makes her home in Australia and I make my home in New York, our brainwaves seem to meet up all the time.

Have a look at the video she created for the Afghan Women Writers project: http://www.sharnanigans.com/2010/12/this-is-a-call/. It’s inspiring. She’s running a 5K to raise money and awareness for AWW. We need more people like Sharni who passionately care about our global community and use their own personal resources to create the change they want to see in the world. Cheers to Sharni, her efforts, and all of the women who will benefit from her work!

happiness

Step 342: 6 Things That Make Me Happy

Christa Avampato

Happiness is one of the most sought-after possessions in the world. It’s a process, an ebb and flow. Sometimes it’s elusive and other times it’s present in great abundance. Science has recently taken an increased interest in happiness recently, releasing a number of studies on how to attain it and how to keep it.

I came across an article in Yes Magazine that details 10 things we can do to improve our own personal happiness. It’s a very short read and completely worthwhile. It also got me thinking about the 10 things that make me happy in my day-to-day. In no particular order:

1.) My dog, Phineas. The other day I got home from grocery shopping and ran into one of my neighbors. We chatted for a bit, and Phineas heard us so I opened the door and let him run around the hallway a bit. He ran right up to my neighbor with his characteristic joy as if he hadn’t seen her in years. She turned to me and said, “With that to come home to, how could your day ever really be that bad?” She’s right. He makes my day-to-day life so joyful.

2.) My network. I’ve got great friends and a great family. My relationships are, and always will be, my most valuable asset. They’re priceless.

3.) Time. I’m very lucky that most of the time my working hours are very manageable and allow for lots of free time to pursue my own projects. My yoga and writing are possible because I have a well-paying, mostly 40-hour / week job.

4.) A quiet home. Many years ago, I lived in Washington Heights in a much larger and less expensive apartment than I live in now. And while I loved the culture of my neighborhood, it was so loud that for a year I barely slept. It was an exhausting existence. Now I have a peaceful home. It’s small but it’s enough. My own little place where I can go to get away from it all. And I’m so grateful for it every morning when I wake up, rested.

5.) The freedom and resources to learn. Sadly there are so many areas of the world where people are not free to be curious and industrious. Too many people now, even in this country, don’t have the means to get the best education. I was lucky to go to college during a time when federal aid was readily available and fairly affordable. My education made the life I have now possible. It’s an amazing gift.

6.) New York, NY. Let people say what they want. This is the greatest city in the world. It’s a fascinating, bubbling place of diversity. The whole world really is here, just a few steps outside my door every day. You really can be anything you want to be in this city. No matter what pack you wish to join, it’s here. Or feel free to just go it alone, too. This city has freedom in abundance. It’s a place for people who want to build their own road, by their own design.

What keeps you smiling?

The image above is not my own. It can be found here.

food, friendship, happiness, writer

Step 341: The Simple Joy of Ramen

Christa Avampato

My friend, Michael, took me to Minca, a ramen restaurant on Friday night. Like so many wonderful traditions from other countries, we have twisted ramen into a cheap, nutritionless, freeze-dried meal encased in plastic on our grocery store shelves. It is the stuff of college student diets. In Japan and other parts of Asia, ramen is a sacred, beautiful, nutritious ritual. I could hardly believe how incredible I felt eating a piping hot bowl with a good friend. It was good for my soul.

Michael learned about Minca from Rameniac, a blogger who espouses his love for the delicious dish. Michael sent me a few links and closed out his email about it with such an elegant, thoughtful commentary: “Rameniac became so well-known after a few years that he started getting picked up by the LA Times. He works as a web developer by day, but because he can work essentially anywhere there is internet, he makes frequent excursions to Japan and a few other locations known for good noodles to gather field research. With cynicism and sensationalism selling so many books and magazines these days, it’s heartening to find someone who can derive so much joy from a bowl of soup.”

I couldn’t agree more. There’s so much beauty in simplicity. Give Rameniac a read, go grab a bowl, and enjoy!

Pictured above: a delicious bowl of ramen at Minca