meditation, story

This just in: A new kind of meditation method based on storytelling

Christa Avampato
Meditate on stories
Meditate on stories

I start every day with 10 minutes of meditation. I used to sit up in bed, close my eyes, and just focus on my breath. For the last couple days I’ve been trying something different—I remain lying down, eyes closed, and let my mind create a story. It’s completely spontaneous and I don’t force the characters or actions. Something akin to free writing with only my mind.

When I open my eyes, I try to get it all down as accurately as I can without editing. What strikes me about this meditation method is that the little stories that float through my mind aren’t in my voice at all. It’s literally like my imagination is just telling me a story, and my conscious mind is the willing audience of one.

On Friday morning I started thinking about Levi, a character I’ve been working on for a few months. This was his stream of consciousness:

“Have you ever felt like God was listening? I mean really listening, and watching and waiting to see just how much you really need something? Best I can tell that thinking’s for church ladies and the grieving. And they say love is blind. Grief? That’s way worse. Grieving people come up with all kinds of hidden meanings when something terrible’s happened to them or someone they love.

I know all about grief. I see it every day, even on weekends. I try to steer clear of it but that’s impossible when you share a house with dead people. My mom and dad are here, too, but they’re so busy tending to dead people, and the living people who love the dead people, that they barely notice me. It’s their job. They’re morticians. 

Now don’t you go feeling sorry for me just because I have busy parents who find a corpse more interesting than me. I’m fine, really fine. Shelby, my next door neighbor, says I should be grateful for the neglect because it sure beats smothering. I have to agree, mostly because I’m not in a position to disagree with Shelby. Shelby’s the producer of my soon-to-be radio show, and she’s gonna make me famous. That is if I don’t screw it all up in the process.

I’ve got a dilemma, and I’m really gonna need some help soon. That’s where you come in. Dead people are calling me, and they’re not easy customers to please. They’ve got demands and I’m not really in the position to tell them I can’t do their bidding. They’re dead so they’ve got nothing else to lose. Me? I got everything to lose. Including my dreams of having my own radio show, my producer, and my chance to meet my idol, Al Green. 

I was hanging out in bed, practicing death yesterday. I’m trying to put myself in their shoes. Call it customer research. It’s not hard really. I just lay there on my back, hands on my belly, and try not to move or breathe much.You’re not gonna believe this but death feels pretty relaxing. No wonder everybody dies eventually. You should give it a try, just to see what it feels like since someday we’re all gonna die. Might as well be prepared for what’s coming. Death’s not scary at all. You really want to feel scared? Try living.” 

animals, dogs, friendship

This just in: What we all need is a friend in the world – dogs included

Christa Avampato
Otis and Phin taking an afternoon nap together

Over the years, Phin and I have worked nearly every angle to help manage his separation anxiety—several trainers, numerous practice exercises, a serious amount of walking, toys to keep him occupied and busy, medications, aromatherapy, and even a few months with my mom in Florida. The one thing we never tried was a second dog. I was worried about taking on the expense and work of a second pup, and many people convinced me that a second dog wouldn’t help. “He’s just not a city dog,” they’d say. Or worse, “He was meant to be with a family that’s home all the time, not a single person who works.” I’ve shed a lot of tears and experienced a huge amount of anxiety because I was worried I just couldn’t help him.

It’s been two weeks since we moved to D.C., and my friends Matt and Alex whom we rent from have a sweet pup, Otis. Otis and Phin get along very well and they were immediate friends. We just open up the door between my apartment and their house, and Otis and Phin pal around together all day. It’s an incredible situation, and I’m so grateful for it. And Phin’s anxiety when I leave the house? Gone. Turns out what he needed all this time was a pal to be in the world with. And isn’t that what we all need? No matter how heavy life gets, as long as we’ve got a friend we’re okay. Another beautiful lesson from the world of canines.

celebration, nature, Spring, Washington, weather

This just in: D.C. announces dates for the 2015 National Cherry Blossom Festival

Christa Avampato
D.C.'s Cherry Blossom Festival is almost here!
D.C.’s Cherry Blossom Festival is almost here!

Today we’re getting a cold, icy, snowy mix of weather in the D.C. area. Here’s the thing – it’s temporary. Everything’s temporary. In a month, spring is going to be here (and almost everywhere else, too) and it’s going to be amazing. This city, and many cities in the Northeast, explode with life and joy once spring arrives. And why shouldn’t they? After this winter, we deserve to bask in the sun as much as we can.

D.C. will welcome its outrageously beautiful cherry blossoms from March 20th – April 13th during the National Cherry Blossom Festival. The end of the festival is supposed to be the peak time for these pink and white flowers that magically bring a smile to everyone’s face. Phin and I will be there. I hope you can join us. So hang in there. I’m going to chug some (very) hot chocolate now and dream about the spring that is only days away for all of us.

Life, Washington

This just in: Catching the beat of D.C.

Christa Avampato
Catching the beat of D.C.
Catching the beat of D.C.

You can’t miss the beat in New York City because it’s often hitting you right in the face. In D.C., there isn’t so much a beat as there is a hum. It’s low and steady. You have to listen more than you talk to catch it. I caught my first few notes of it when I was out yesterday afternoon. I turned the corner from Connecticut onto N Street and there was a hush on the street that caught my attention. I felt supported by that hush, almost like it was carrying me to the next place I needed to be, helping me along without rushing me in any way. My steps were lighter, my breathing easier. I smiled. It feels good to finally be exactly where I need to be doing exactly what I need to do. And it doesn’t get better than that.

creativity, faith, story

This just in: The best stories have these two things

Christa Avampato
The garden of stories
The garden of stories

“Doubt is a question mark; faith is an exclamation point. The most compelling, believable, realistic stories have included them both.” ~Criss Jami

Our lives have both doubt and faith, especially in times of change. We’re worried about what might happen next, and we’re equally excited about the possibilities. We trust the process, and still wonder what we can do to help it along in the event of the slight chance that the process isn’t fine without a little encouragement from us.

Stories weave together the same way our lives do. Characters have doubt and faith. In the best stories the doubt gets the best of them and launches them into all kinds of sticky situations. No wonder stories resonate so deeply with us. They give us faith that if our favorite characters can overcome their circumstances, then so can we. Reading stories is an act of pure faith.

Life, love

This just in: Love and life are one and the same

Christa Avampato
Love life. Live with love.
Love life. Live with love.

“Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.” ~Ursula K. Le Guin

As it is with love so it is with life. We have to constantly renew it, nurture it, and tend to it. When we have a healthy relationship with one, then things seem to fall into place with the other. Love and life, two sides, same coin. Love life, and live with love.

change, creativity, Life

This just in: In stillness we can appreciate change

Christa Avampato
Stillness
Stillness

“Within you there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.” ~Hermann Hesse

I woke up this morning with one pervasive thought—how very different my life was a month ago. Not just my geographic location but also my outlook on my own life. I thought I might lose Phin. I wasn’t in my own space. My career was a giant question mark. I felt like I was spinning my wheels in the toughest way, and I really didn’t know how I was going to gain any traction from that place.

Then last night I went out to dinner to sit and laugh and eat with friends just 2 blocks from the Capitol Building. Phin is on the mend and we’re both settling into our new digs. I’ve got a number of career options on the horizon. I’m hopeful about the many possibilities ahead. For a while I laid in bed and just rested in the stillness, the stillness of knowing that if we can make a commitment one tiny step at a time to make our situation better, then all those steps will eventually add up to something that looks and feels like progress. And while it might seem like an overnight process, there have been so many forces at work for a long time, forces far beyond my control or understanding, that made today’s circumstances possible.

This can be a hard perspective to keep in the moment. Certainly a month ago it was hard for me to imagine what life would be like beyond the very minute I was living. And that has its own gifts. All of a sudden we realize that we are empowered to do anything we want to do. All of a sudden we realize that if we can honestly ask for help and advice and then listen to it, then others will come to our aid. That’s certainly what happened to me. These life changes that happened to me in the last month were largely built on the generosity and kindness of friends. And I’m grateful for every one of them.

friendship, home

This just in: It’s okay to wing it – a lesson from my first D.C. dinner party

Christa Avampato
Welcome!
Welcome!

One of my very dearest friends was in town on Friday. Though I’ve only been in D.C. for a week, I didn’t hesitate to invite her and her boyfriend over for dinner. She’s spending a year abroad and I’ve so missed being in the same city with her.

As soon as I extended the offer and she accepted, I panicked a bit. My place isn’t all set up. Heck, I don’t have any cookware, plates, silverware, glasses. I don’t even have a table. You know, all the things you need to actually cook and host a dinner. On top of that I’m running around trying to get my life set up, and interviewing for jobs. Am I really in a position to host a dinner at my home? Should I just order takeout? Should I email her right back and say we should meet at a local restaurant? What am I doing? These were the thoughts that ran through my mind.

Then I took a deep breath. I decided to improv it. I stacked up a few of my unpacked boxes and threw a cloth down over them. Voilà – end tables! I made some tasty Mexican food – easy to make vegetarian and ready in half an hour. I turned on the jazz station on my TV and we had instant dinner music. We sat on the couches, holding out plates and glasses. It was wonderful—comfy, fun, and relaxing. This is exactly the way I hope everyone feels when they come to my home. As long as hosting is done with love, it doesn’t need to be fancy. Come as you are is the only dress code in my home.

action, determination, writer, writing

This just in: Don’t let rejection stop you from writing and submitting your work

Christa Avampato
Rise!
Rise!

One of the best things about starting my career in theater is that I got used to rejection very early on in my life. Now every once in a while I get disappointed, but in a few minutes (literally) I always make the choice to channel that energy into something positive. I rise up out of the ashes of rejection, more determined than ever.

This scenario played out recently when I started to submit personal essays for publication in literary journals. One essay in particular, Help in the Ashes, was very important to me. It was about how I came full circle in my healing after my apartment building fire. With a lot of help, time, and support from my therapist and friends, I learned to be grateful for that day, to see it as my own Alive Day. It also helped me come to terms with a lot of other difficult circumstances in my past.

I submitted Help in the Ashes to about 10 publications before it was accepted. It will be published by the literary journal Earl of Plaid on April 1st in their “Blue Collar Royalty” issue. So if you’re in the midst of rejection, particularly as a writer, please don’t give up. Rejection can be hard to take, but don’t let it stop you. The world needs your voice and ideas just as much as it needs anyone else’s. Rise up and keep going.

action, adventure, choices, future, Life

This just in: Your life is in your hands

Christa Avampato
Your life is in your hands
Your life is in your hands

“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours — it is an amazing journey — and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.” ~Bob Moawad, author

This is a magical moment. It’s also scary as hell. All of a sudden you wake up and you realize your life is really all up to you. You steer it. You make the choices. You build your own road. It’s a lot of responsibility. It’s also one of the greatest privileges of being an adult. You aren’t trapped. Starting right now, you can make choices to change anything and everything in your life. The road to where you want to go may be long and winding but you can start your journey in that direction right now. One tiny step leads to another.