Category: work

choices, courage, creativity, curiosity, decision-making, design, work

Step 351: Beauty – One of Life’s Non-negotiables

Christa Avampato

“I think “beauty” has a (prominent) place in every project.” ~ Tom Peters

I’d go one step further than Tom Peters and say if you are living somewhere, doing something, or learning something and you can’t find any beauty it, then move, do something else, and pick another topic. I know that this week I espoused about how life is long and we have more time and space than we actually realize. But your life and the amount of time you have is not enough to warrant the wasting of it.

I’m one of those efficiency junkies. I despise waste of any kind, whether the resource is tangible or intangible. I especially hate having my time wasted. I kind of self-implode without a vertical learning curve. Actually, I don’t know how to live without one so if I feel even a tinge of boredom, my mind is off and running. What never fails to captivate me is beauty, and I especially treasure ironic beauty – moment and places that don’t seem beautiful on the surface but with a little digging have a great abundance of beauty underneath.

In 2011, I’m not doing a single personal project that doesn’t have a kind of beauty that inspires me. Truly, I refuse to struggle through projects or experiences or someone else’s decisions that don’t make any sense to me. I can’t do that anymore. I’m done with dreading any place, or project, or event. If what I’m doing isn’t useful to me, or you, or the world at-large, then I’m going to find something else to do. The world needs so much help right now and we need eachother.

I have a lot to offer in the way of resources. We all do. Talent, time, experience, care, and concern (perhaps the most underrated resource of all!) We can no longer afford to do work that doesn’t matter. We are what we do.

The beautiful image above is not my own but I think it’s stunning. It can be found here.

career, decision-making, discovery, education, encouragement, work

Step 350: It’s Not Knowing that Really Counts

Christa Avampato

“Education would be so much more effective if its purpose were to ensure that by the time they leave school every boy and girl should know how much they don’t know, and be imbued with a lifelong desire to know it.” ~ Sir William Haley, British newspaper editor and broadcasting administrator

If Sir Haley were standing in front of me right now, I’d give him a hug. I love him for stating exactly what an education should be about – unending discovery. Rather than people striving to be the smartest person around, what would our world be like if for every answer we found we had two more questions? What if every time we became an expert in one area, we marveled at how many areas we know nothing about?

This quote reminded me of a post I wrote for my friend, Amanda’s, blog about being a beginner. It’s going to be the spring-board for this blog in 2011 – more details to come on this in a not-too-distant post. Life’s more fun as a beginner. We don’t know what we don’t know and therefore we ask lots of questions, we try out ideas, we explore unencumbered by any notion of what’s been done before. Beginners are the best innovators because the word “should” is not part of their thinking. They have no idea what they should do. Sometimes the resource or experience you don’t have is the real blessing.

We may not know what our life’s purpose is. We may not know what’s next for us as we turn our attention toward 2011. We’re just beginning – this is where the fun starts.

The image above can be found here.

career, happiness, work

Step 349: 4 Ways to Turn Your Work Into the Fountain of Youth

Christa Avampato

“To find joy in work is to discover the fountain of youth.” ~ Pearl S. Buck

Imagine if 40 hours a week you worked at a place that felt joyful? As long as there are people there will be politics and disagreements, but what if on the other side of those aspects there was a firm common belief among the entire team that everyone’s goal is to build as strong and vital a company as possible. What if egos could be put aside for the sake of the common good. That’s the kind of place I’d love to spend my time, and I’d be more than happy to offer up as many as hours as needed.

Somewhere along the way toil and work became synonyms in our society. Americans started to do whatever they needed to do to earn the title, the paycheck, and all of the prestige that goes along with both of those things. My friend, Amanda, and I were talking about how difficult it can be to walk away from a job that looks so good on paper and to the outside world. Stay in that type of job long enough and we’ll lose a little part of ourselves. Don’t be seduced by the check and the title – what we make matters, and if what you’re making doesn’t matter to you then we’re all missing out.

4 Ways to Love Your Work and Find the Fountain of Youth:
1.) Follow the energy
2.) Make 3 lists: what you would do for work, what you might do for work, and what you will never do for work. Then spend 2 weeks roughly keeping track of how much of your current work falls into those 3 buckets. If you’re spending too much time in the might and the never buckets, it might be time to find something new.
3.) Use your performance review time wisely. This is a great time of year to clearly (and calmly) let your employer know where you want your career to go. Can’t have that type of conversation with your boss? Then it’s definitely time to think about what else you’d like to do.
4.) What did you want to do when you were 8? Or 9 or 10 or the first time you remember being really excited about having a career? Can you get back there?

What’s worked for you?

The image above is not my own. It can be found here.

choices, clarity, meditation, wellness, work, yoga

Step 345: A Meditation to Find Purpose By Following Energy

Christa Avampato

“From the spiritual perspective, all disease is undiscovered purpose.” ~ Nan Lu

I’m wrestling now with purpose. At 34, I thought that piece would be figured out and that I could then turn my attention toward working for that purpose. What I’m learning is that like happiness and balance and peace, purpose seems to be less of a destination and more of a daily trip we’re taking. I’ve been going too small with my idea of purpose. Maybe it isn’t a certain career or activity or population I’d like to help but a broader, less specific concept. “Make ’em laugh” sounds like a worthy purpose. “Inspire storytelling” would be another. Maybe that’s a better, more achievable direction for purpose – a flexible structure.

This week I talked to Brian about my continued quest for purpose. “What am I supposed to be doing?” I asked him. And in his very-Brian way, he took me toward point B so I could learn something that would help me get myself to point A. He helped me frame up my own question by asking me to focus on a friend of mine who is going through the same cycle I am to find his own purpose. It was amazing that when I thought about the advice I’d give my friend, I found my own answers, too. “You have to follow the work that gives you energy and ditch the activities that drain you. Your body already knows how your heart should spend its time.”

Sometimes we think about the body as this very superficial structure that is merely meant to house the spirit, maybe because the body won’t last forever and we are really hoping that the spirit will. The greatest lesson that yoga has taught me is that the two work together. The body is so much wiser than we give it credit for. It knows what it needs. When we are doing an activity we aren’t meant to do, our body will grow tired no matter how much sleep we’ve gotten. When we are on the right path, the body moves with ease. If we follow our energy, will it lead us to our purpose?

Meditation technique to find purpose
Take a comfortable seat. Deep gorgeous inhales. Deep calming exhales. Scan the body and wherever you feel tightness or pain, focus the breath there, one area at a time, until those muscles relax. And then once you’ve focused the breath on each stressed area of the body, allow your lips to take the faintest smile, maybe just turning up the corners of your mouth slightly. Focus only on what it feels like to have your entire body relaxed. After a few minutes, gently open the eyes and take that feeling with you out into the world.

Focus on finding activities that allow the body to feel as relaxed as they do in meditation, even when we’re in motion. Those activities, I believe, will lead us to our purpose, one day at a time. I’m going to give it a shot. Will you join me and let me know how it goes? I promise to do the same.

The image above is from thebuddhagarden.com

routine, time, to-do lists, work

Step 336: Balance Over Time

Christa Avampato

In business school a friend of mine famously said, “I think you can have it all, you just can’t have it all, all the time.” We beat the heck out of ourselves when it comes to work life balance. We make ourselves crazy by wanting balance every day, at every moment, and if we can’t get ourselves there we assume there’s something wrong with us, that we are somehow inept. The General Counsel of my company talked at a recent lunch about the idea of attaining balance over time, not balance all the time.

Some days, some week are just going to be packed to the gills. That’s life. Projects ramp up, the holidays come around, guests are in town. Certain times in our lives can just be crazy. Crazy fun or crazy not-so-fun. If that crazy happens over a long, sustained period of time, then yes, we do have a problem that we need to quickly remedy. But just because life is not as balance as we’d like it to be for a few days doesn’t mean we’ve failed. It just means we’ve got active lives.

This idea calmed me down, and it was a message I needed this week. Work has consumed more of my time than it usually does and I was cursing it a bit. Reflecting on the idea of balance over time reminded me to be grateful. I’m ridiculously lucky to have a job that interesting most of the time, that pays well, and doesn’t consume much of my time after 5:30. This week I’ve had a few late nights. I’m getting some new projects up on their feet and it’s taking more time than the typical 9-5 day allows. Thanks to the idea of balance over time, I took the extra time crunch in stride. And when the lull hits, which will inevitably happen, I’ll remember to offer my thanks for peace and quiet.

career, work, writing

Step 296: 3 Things to Keep in Mind for Your Year-end Performance Review

Christa Avampato

“Let your manners speak, your deeds prove, and your delivery impress.” ~ Yogi Tea

Cue the music! “It’s about that time of, time of the year again…” Nope, not the holidays just yet. Performance reviews, one of my work requirements that I dread the most. I always fantasize about not following the company format but instead writing some pithy essay about why I don’t think performance reviews work. I was completing my self-evaluation on Friday, and in a moment of frustration at how long it was taking, I went to make a cup of tea.

The quote above was on the tag of my teabag. Yoga has taught me that the world often hands us the teaching we need exactly when we need it. I needed to hear this message today. I went back to my computer with a little bit of renewed energy. Maybe I don’t need to see these reviews as arduous and pointless. It is an opportunity to reflect on the year nearly behind us and to look ahead at how I’d like 2011 to take shape.

Given my recent introspective mood, it’s fitting to have this task on my to-do list now. Clearly, if the world is handing it to me, along with a bit of encouragement and advice via my tea, I must need what it has to teach me.

change, family, work

Step 267: Thanks for the Wings

Christa Avampato

My mom and pop are on their way to Florida today, setting off for a new chapter filled with sunshine and only the things they love. The days of working for someone else’s goals are a memory for them. They’ve more than earned this new place in the sun.

I would be lying if I didn’t confess that there’s a bit of heartache in this decision for me. My parents are getting older, heading into the autumn of their lives and all that aging brings with it. They’ll be a 2.5 hour plane ride away now rather than a 1.5 hour train ride. Wit their move, I am reminded again that life is changing. Always changing, and fleeting.

At my mom’s retirement dinner this week, a large room full of friends gathered together to send her off in style and to thank her for so many years together. Some of them had such a hard time saying good-bye. I did, too. And I know it’s not good-bye to them, but it is good-bye to what has been for so long. And even though this is a wonderful, well-deserved and long-overdue change, there is a bit of mourning in it. There’s always mourning baked into change.

My brother, Joey, gave one of the speeches at mom’s dinner. It was a really beautiful sentiment based on my mom’s favorite movie, It’s a Wonderful Life. He simply said, “thanks for the wings.” And we all felt that. Even when mom couldn’t fly with us, she still pushed us out of the nest and sent us on our way so we could fly solo into whatever future we wanted. She lifted us up, and even if we didn’t always agree with her, she never prevented us from going where we felt we needed to go.

Joey got it right – thanks for the wings, Mom. And everything that you had to sacrifice to give them to us. Now, it’s your turn to get some wings of your own.

care, career, choices, commitment, creativity, decision-making, determination, work

Step 266: Don’t Lower Your Expectations

Christa Avampato

“The reasonable man adapts himself to the conditions that surround him. The unreasonable man adapts surrounding conditions to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

When I was in business school, one of my favorite professors revealed his secret for a happy life: low expectations. He was kidding, a little laughter to break the mind numbing tension caused by information overload. He lives a life of the highest expectations I’ve ever known. And it is happy one, too.

Today, I had a conversation with someone who told me she was concerned about my expectations. I was explaining that certain areas of product development like mobile and social technologies require agile development – fail fast and don’t make the same mistake twice. Involve end-users in the process. Beat it, bureaucracy. And no, taking a year to develop a new product or service that isn’t even keeping pace with competition is not acceptable.

She tried to counter by saying that without a knowledge management system in place, there isn’t a way to lower run times between product iterations. I said that building a knowledge management system also needs to be done quickly, and it’s incumbent upon every one to create it and contribute to it. I was being unreasonable and displaying my very high expectations, and I would not back down. Her response, “Well your expectations worry me.” My response, “We have to do better.”

Uncomfortable conversation? Yes. Would I take it back and change my behavior? No. Progress requires unreasonable, unrelenting expectations, and the ability to back them up with creativity and a strong work ethic. And I mean to be a person of progress, not a person of simple adaptation to someone else’s standards. I’d rather aim high and be disappointed every day of my life, than strive for and achieve mediocrity.

celebration, change, family, work

Step 260: My Mom Retired Today

Christa Avampato

When I was a teenager, I distinctly remember watching the news with my mom one night and there was a segment on retirement and social security. It was quickly becoming apparent to our nation that my generation would likely never collect social security despite all we would pay into it for many years. My mom said something like, “it must be nice to retire.” I replied with something like, “you’ll find out someday.” And then I have a snapshot in my mind of my mom hanging her head and saying, “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to retire.” And it wasn’t for lack of wanting to but lack of means.

That all changed today. Just about now, my mom is packing up the last items of her office, clicking the door shut one last time, and bidding adieu to the life of full-time work. Today she will retire from over 50 years as part of the American workforce – an incredible accomplishment by any standard.

So what’s next for my mom? We’re aren’t 100% sure yet. She’s moving to Florida next week to be close to my sister and her family. She is eager to spend more time with my darling nieces and it’s time for her to spend more time in the sunshine, resting, relaxing, and reflecting. She’ll do that for a bit and then decide what’s next.

Maybe she’ll continue with her own small business, get a part-time job doing something she loves, or spend a lot of time volunteering in her new community. Maybe she’ll take up writing or painting or some other art. Maybe she’ll learn to be a clown and join the circus. My mom is full of surprises. It’s one of the many things I love about her.

I do know that she won’t take retirement lying down. She loves to be busy and active, and now she has the opportunity to really get to her life to-do list now that her employer’s to-do list is done. My mom is a firm believer in the idea that when a door closes a window opens. I can’t wait to see how everything unfolds for her. Happy retirement, Mom – no one is more deserving of it than you!

personality, psychology, relationships, women, work

Step 257: 10 Scientific Findings About the Differences Between the Male and Female Brains

Christa Avampato

“Men and women have to stop blaming one another for their differences, and there really are differences.” ~ Barbara Annis

I went to a talk today with authors Barbara Annis and John Gray, leading authorities on how to get the sexes to understand one another and work together. Barbara Annis has just published the book Leadership and the Sexes, and John Gray is the author of the New York Times Bestseller Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

They uncovered some surprising research currently being conducted about the male and female brains, and then used that research to formulate strategies for men and women to use together to create better work environments. Here are the top 10 points of interest that I took away from their presentation:

1.) Under stress, women remember more details and men remember fewer details. In general, women have better memories than men. When he tells you he really doesn’t remember, he’s telling the truth!

2.) Women can speak and listen simultaneously because the capability to listen is housed in multiple areas of their brains. The male brain is better equipped to focus solely on speaking or listening because all of their listening ability is housed in one area of their brains. So the pause between his listening and speaking is legit – give him the time to process.

3.) Women are more susceptible to stress and the average woman at work experiences 2X the amount of stress that men do. To compensate women have more endurance to continue to function under stress, however this increased stress and desire to continue to perform under stress causes many health problems in women. Ladies, get to yoga class, take a walk, meditate. You need to cut your stress levels!

4.) When men feel stressed, they slow down and do less. This helps them process information during stressful times. Women actually speed up under stress and do more. This is detrimental to women’s well-being. Ladies, take a tip from the guys – in times of stress, take a step back, breath, and relax.

5.) Under stress, men seek space to sort out the situation independently. Women seek understanding and turn to others when stressed. In connection, stress among men drops when they disconnect from others. Women’s stress level increases when they are disconnected from other people. In times of stress, give people what they need to feel better.

6.) Men prefer to be left alone at work, and find well-being in the workplace from more responsibility and opportunity. Women have a desire to feel connected to their employers and co-workers. The #1 reason women leave corporations is not for work-life balance but because they don’t feel valued by their employer. Corporate America, listening is and under-rated skill and you need to encourage it among your teams.

7.) Single men take more risks than married men, and fail more as a result. However, I believe in the axioms, “nothing ventured, nothing gained” and “fortune rewards the bold.” There’s nothing wrong with calculated risk.

8.) Testosterone does not increase aggressive behavior, but lowers reaction time. Under stress, men are likely to make quicker decisions as a result. Guys, take more time with decisions when possible. You’ll be happier in the long-run.

9.) Because of lower testosterone levels, women tend to weigh consequences of actions more often than men do. Guys, consequences matter – take a bit more time with your choices.

10.) To create a better working environment, men and women have to stop blaming one another for their differences and seek to really understand one another.

These differences have their benefits and should be celebrated! We’ll all be happier and healthier as a result – we have so much to learn from one another.