Category: time

creativity, time, writing

Leap: Anne Lamott’s Advice on Writing, Life, and Time

Christa Avampato
Anne Lamott. Photo taken by James Hall.

“Time is not free—that’s why it’s so precious and worth fighting for…I’ve heard it said that every day you need half an hour of quiet time for yourself, or your Self, unless you’re incredibly busy and stressed, in which case you need an hour.” ~ Anne Lamott

My friend, Kristin, who pens the fantastic blog Writerhead recently featured this piece from Anne Lamott on her site. Lamott is my favorite author and her advice on writing has been a treasure trove for me since I was an undergraduate at Penn. My old copy of her book Bird by Bird is well-worn and more true every time I re-read it.

Since the start of 2012, I’ve received advice from others on the value of peace and quiet on an almost daily basis. I wrote about it on this blog here, here, and here. My friend, Derek, sent me a quote a long time ago that read, “The Universe is a very generous place. It will give you the same message over and over again until you learn it and don’t need to go through it any more.” Universe, I hear you.

Lamott recently offered her contribution to this ongoing societal dialogue about the value of quiet and unplugging from the world for a while. She writes so beautifully and poignantly that I won’t even attempt to recap her words. Read them here in her short essay Finding Time. Hint: we all have time to do something we love.

business, entrepreneurship, time

Leap: Make Sure Time Is On Your Side

Christa Avampato

“Guard your own spare moments. They are like uncut diamonds.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson via ZenMoments

“Be ruthless with your time.” ~ Pam Slim

New projects take a tremendous amount of time to incubate, plan, and implement. To make the most of the opportunity, time alone creating and time collaborating with kindred spirits is critical. And in our often overly connected world we can feel guilty for being selfish with our time. We must put the guilt away if we intend to do something truly meaningful. Guard your time – it’s yours to spend as you see fit.

On Friday, I spoke to Poornima Vijayashanker, my friend and founder of Bizeebee. (Bizeebee is company that creates yoga studio management software.) She was one of the first employees at Mint and is a wise, generous person who’s been very supportive of Compass Yoga. On Thursday afternoon, a few of the board members and I had an interesting meeting with a potential partner that left all of our minds swirling. Poornima’s advice helped ground me and see what a gift this Thursday meeting was for our development. And then she gave me some personal advice: carve out Christa-time – entrepreneurs need it and so rarely take it.

Quiet time alone allows our minds to percolate as we develop interesting solutions to tough challenges. To tap our creativity and imaginations, we have to spend time on our own. “Being an entrepreneur is like being in a race by yourself,” Poornima said. “All that really matters is that you’re doing your own personal best every day.” It’s so easy, and harmful, to endlessly compare our business to others. There’s value in keeping our finger on the pulse of the market. It’s not valuable to be hopelessly consumed by what everyone else is doing.

To follow our path, we have to pay attention to our intuition, our heart. And the only way to do that is to know our path. And the only way to know our path is to sit and breathe, alone. We must guard our time like a precious jewel because it is.

health, risk, story, time

Beginning: Bookcases, Dust Bunnies, and Trauma Recovery

Christa Avampato

I was surprised how sad I felt selling my bookcases. I dusted them off one last time before selling them to some nice people on Craig’s List who will make good use of them. They’re lovely, but just to look at them you’d really have to wonder why I was sad to part with them.

I bought these bookcases without a second thought because they were exact replicas of the ones I had in my previous apartment prior to an apartment building fire that ruined most of my belongings and brought my greatest fears out into broad daylight for the world to see. The recovery from that event was a long, hard road. As I set about putting my life back together physically and emotionally, it was easier to just replace some of the things I had rather than find things that really fit the space. That was my rationale anyway. I was lying to myself.

More to the story
What was really happening was much deeper and disturbing. I was desperately trying to recreate my space and be the person I was before the fire. Both were fruitless efforts. There was my life before the fire and then life after, and the two could not be the same. I was changed in ways large and small, some known to me and some that would remain entirely unknown for several years. Those Crate & Barrel bookcases held a lot of emotion and history for me. In selling them, that emotion was released, freed. And then there is a hole that remains.

It’s not a hole meant to be filled in or repaired or rescued. It’s a hole that reminds me in a striking way that this life and our time is so precious and short. It’s a hole that reminds me that while we search for and seek out meaningful and life-changing events, we forget that we cannot go back once we go through them. They change our view of the world and our place in it. We are left to make meaning of them, largely on our own.

We can’t run forever
For a while, we will try to dress up these events. We will valiantly and unflappably try to put the pieces back together, to recreate our reality. This is the safe way. The braver, and ultimately healthier, way to travel through change is to recognize that we will have to imagine our way into a whole new reality. We will have to let go of what we’ve known in favor of a new and richer understanding of life and of ourselves.

In dusting off my bookshelves, I also quite literally dusted off my life. I wiped away some of the leftover pieces of the fear and hurt and sadness that have remained in the embers of that fire. Like dust bunnies, I didn’t even know they were there until they stared me right in the eye. I flinched, and then swept them away. I had to.

The healing way
Recovery from trauma is a slow and winding process. We can’t see beyond the bend and we have only what is right in front of us. That was then and this is now. Trauma warps our sense of time, our sense of reality, and we will trip and cry and laugh and feel lost and then found again. We will be strong one moment and crumbling the next. This cycle doesn’t go on forever, but it does go on and we can’t always predict its timing or triggers.

That’s how it goes – there’s nothing linear about healing. The path doubles back on itself again and again. All we can do is be patient and persistent in our pursuit of wholeness. And I do believe, ardently and passionately, that we can all be whole. And that with enough time, we will be.

blogging, change, choices, creativity, time, writing

Beginning: Strike That Content Plan and Reverse It

Christa Avampato

A few weeks ago, I tried a new beginning that I haven’t been happy with. I thought I was going to turn this blog’s attention to business issues in a more traditional sense. I also thought I was going to stop posting on weekends and that my layout and tag line “Curating a Creative Life” would change substantially.

Forget what I said.

How I see business:
Business to me has a much broader sense than many other business sites. How you make a living has to fit with how you make a life. In the great words of Pam Slim, author of Escape from Cubicle Nation, “If you don’t consider your life as a key part of your business model, you may find yourself outwardly successful and inwardly miserable.” Turn on our work persona in the office and our social persona once we head home and pretty soon we have absolutely no idea who we are. I look at business through the lenses of yoga, service, art, books, technology, and finance. They all fit together for me, and denying any one piece leaves an incomplete picture. I need all of them at my disposal.

Posting every day:
My friend, Monica, recently coined a phrase on her blog that I really appreciate: “I’m not traveling to find myself. I’m traveling to be myself.” I feel the same way about my writing. Over these past few weekends when I haven’t posted, I thought about posting. After posting every day for almost 5 years, it’s become an integral part of my life. I love writing on this blog every single day. My friend, Kristin, has a very cool posting format going on at Writerhead. Some days she posts a very bold, simple quote to inspire writers. I’d like to experiment with that fantastic idea. Regardless of the format, I’m back with you daily.

Curating a creative life:
If ever I had to string a few words together to explain my life’s purpose, this tag line would be it. It’s really too good to give up – in writing or in practice – so I’m sticking with it.

I’ve learned so much about the art of beginning this year. Above all, learning to begin is a practice, a muscle. What I love most about keeping this blog is that even though times flies by so quickly, this writing helps me to remember, appreciate, and celebrate all that’s happened in that blur called time. It gives me the courage to keeping beginning every day. A new beginning doesn’t always mean change – sometimes it just means deliberately choosing to do the things we’ve been doing, not out of habit, but because they are the best way forward for us. 

choices, decision-making, money, time

Beginning: How to Make a Living While Making a Life

Christa Avampato

For a long time I’ve defined that I make a living as a product developer and I make a life by writing and teaching yoga. My dual-life can get exhausting, and more than that, I think it’s wasteful. And I hate waste of any kind. But this dual-life, in the short-term, is the safe road. It helps me to hedge my bets without really make any bets at all. I’m having a tough time letting go.

As we begin to turn our attention toward the end of the year, I begin considering resolutions as a means of focusing my efforts for the turning of the calendar page. In 2012, my big ask of myself is that I figure out a way to bridge my worlds, turning how I make a living and how I make a life into one and the same.

One of the very happy side effects of meditation is how the mind becomes capable of time travel. Even now at the age of 35, I can imagine myself as a very old woman. And in that older me state, I can play out scenarios. If I don’t jump into Compass Yoga with both feet in 2012, I will regret not giving it my all. If I just play it safe, keep my head down, and find a way in the short term to be content with this dual-life, I’ll look back at 35 year old me and ask, “What were you so afraid of? Now time has passed you by. It’s too late. The window has closed.”

For over a year now, I’ve weighed the choice that scares me against the one that feels safer. Maybe I’ve been looking at this all wrong. The Hero’s Journey is about choosing between two options that are equals, not between one good choice and one bad choice.

Perhaps these lofty life decisions are decisions in which we choose the fear we can live with over the fear we can’t live with. Faced with the choice of fearing the leap and fearing that my life’s purpose has passed me by, I’ll leap. Now the trick lies in helping my younger self understand that this is the reality of the career choice I’m wrestling with.

Time is often equated with money, but the two have relatively little in common. Money is replaceable – we can find a way to earn money through all sorts of avenues. We cannot buy time. We have no way of making up for it; we have no way of re-earning it. Once spent, it is spent for good.

In the coming months, I will make it a point to remember that how we spend our time is the greatest choice we make because time is the most precious resource we have. It is irreplaceable.

business, career, change, time, writing

Beginning: My New Content Plan

Christa Avampato

For the past few years, my daily posts have revolved around a specific theme. In 2009, I wrote about my quest to have more hope. In 2010, I chronicled my steps toward building an extraordinary life. This year, I’ve taken up the challenge to become an expert beginner. As of late, I’ve found myself preoccupied, in writing and in living, with raising a call to action. In 2009, I learned the very painful and abundantly helpful truth that we are here on borrowed time. My apartment building fire cost me almost all of my belongings and nearly cost me my life. We don’t get to choose how long we’re here, and so if we’re waiting to do what we really want to do then we’re just wasting time.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how my content will evolve in 2012. What should my theme be? Who am I trying to help? What’s the biggest challenge I’m trying to overcome? I started to panic. No lightbulb moment seemed to find me. And then I remember the one simple question that starts every new product development project – “What gives you pain?”

By the end of 2012, I want to control how I spend all of my time. So my next journey is toward the goal of being my own boss and you’re invited to join me on this wild ride. To this end, my posts are going to take on a decidedly different direction. They’ll be a little punchier, a little more opinionated. I’ll let you in on what I’m reading, using, and doing to turn this idea into a reality. And it will all be related to the idea of “making business make sense.” Hence, this site’s new tagline. “Curating a Creative Life” served me well for 4. 5 years and I learned so much from it. Now it’s time to move on and embrace a new frontier that combines my love for business, creativity, and simplicity.

Taking my own advice, I decided not to wait until 2012 to kick off this new content strategy. Waiting never got anyone anywhere. The only way to move forward is to take a step in that direction, so here I go. Compass Yoga is taking off quickly, and I need to respond to this stroke of good fortune.

The greatest thing I learned in my year of beginnings is that NOW is the best time for a new beginning. Don’t wait for the calendar to turn to make a resolution, to dive into a new project, to seize the lucky moment. And in this moment, the world is asking for the business world to be simpler and more straight-forward. I can serve that mission; this moment was made for me.

As an editorial aside, taking control of all of my time means that I’ll be doing a considerable amount of other writing projects and business development work, particularly because Compass Yoga’s incorporation status moved much faster than I expected. To give myself that space and time, I’ll publish on this site 5 times per week – Monday to Friday, excluding major holidays – effective immediately.

Here’s to action!    

commitment, courage, creativity, time, vision

Beginning: Kick the Perfection Addiction

Christa Avampato

“The important work of moving the world forward does not wait to be done by perfect men.” ~ George Eliot, British writer

Yesterday’s post was a call to action and it caused me to think about all of the things that may prevent us from acting, from getting our creative ideas out into the world. We’re afraid of criticism, we’re afraid we don’t know enough, and we’re afraid that our ideas just aren’t good enough. I don’t think that fear is the main reason we fail to act. I think it’s our addiction to perfection. I get this need on a very serious level. I used to pride myself on my perfection. I gleaned most of my self-worth from it, and in the process I wasted a lot of time. And time is more valuable than perfection.

Our addiction is well-justified: we are highly protective of our intellectual property (with good reason) and we want to find our groove before we offer the big reveal. But here’s the rub: we find our groove by acting on our ideas and collaborating with others. We can’t find our way by sitting on our couch. We have to get out into the world and try our ideas on for size as we let others do the same. Perfection stands in stark contrast to that truth. Perfection leaves us sitting on the couch.

Get out the chisel and break yourself free of the need to be perfect because it’s not a need at all. It’s a perception, a legacy system that needs to be left behind if we are going to progress. Thank that tiny voice of perfection for its input, turn the volume all the way down, and get your creative work done. The world needs you just as you are – perfection not required.  

art, time

Beginning: Thomas Cole’s The Voyage of Life

Christa Avampato

On a recent trip to D.C. to see some friends, I popped into the National Gallery expressly to see Thomas Cole’s The Voyage of Life. It’s a series of four modest size painting that depict: Childhood, Youth, Manhood, and Old Age. I wanted to spend some time studying them to see if I could draw some kind of parallel to my life.

In Childhood, the world of course is shiny and new. Everything golden and light. Pristine and full of promise. (upper left)

In Youth, the hero is reaching for his castle in the sky, full of ambition and hope. (upper right)

In Manhood, something has gone terribly wrong and our hero finds himself in a rocky, stormy sea, praying for help and seeing none in sight. (lower left)

In Old Age, he is being welcomed home to the light that has seemingly always been just above the clouds of his adult life. He is surprised and delighted by this revelation. (lower right)

I spent almost an hour going from one painting to the other. I began to look for differences in the hero. Why did he get so lost in Manhood? Why did it take him so long to appreciate the light, and by extension I began to think about how I could avoid that same path. How do I make sure to keep the promise of childhood and youth, gain the experience of adulthood, and awaken long before old age?

Now look a little more closely at the hero. In the first three paintings he’s turned away from the angel. Only when he’s gone down to the depths of despair and reached old age does he look in the direction of the light that has always been with him. I found myself looking at the Manhood painting and wanting to shout, “Turn around! The help you want is right there!” And instead, our hero proceeds toward the rocks and falls with his boat rather than climbing ashore and reaching up. I’ve known people like this; I’m guessing you do to.

I went to my meditation cushion and had a long, deep think about this conundrum: how do we live up to the responsibilities of adulthood and still awaken to what really matters in the middle of the hustle and bustle? I want to live more of my life in the light. I asked for help and assistance, for strength and courage, for a 360-degree view that isn’t blocked by a handmade set of blinders.

Isn’t it amazing what art and our reflection on it can teach us? If Thomas Cole were still around I’d give him a great big hug. In The Voyage of Life he’s asking us to take a look around, all the way around. We’ve got this terrible idea in our minds that once we’re on a path, the destination is certain. He’s telling us to look up and out. Help isn’t off in some unattainable world; the help and hope we seek is right here with us all the time.

time

Beginning: Life As a Great Balancing Act

Christa Avampato
From http://macallallen.blogspot.com

“So be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact. And remember that life’s A Great Balancing Act.” — Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You’ll Go!

One recent weekend I found all of my plans fell through. As usual my schedule had been packed and slowly but surely the plans trickled away until I was left with a completely free weekend. My first inclination was to fill up the time with a whole new set of plans, and then I paused. I couldn’t remember the last time I had a completely free weekend. What an interesting this to try, and it was glorious! I would have loved to follow through on my plans but this turn of events gave me a chance to re-charge.

Enjoying our down time is an important ingredient to for making the most of our productive periods. It gives us a chance to reflect and realign. All of nature takes this time for revitalization. We’re the only beings who consider down time a waste, myself very much included.

That weekend, I basked in the idea that I had nowhere to be at any time. My day could be shaped moment to moment, and not by Google calendar (which does a stupendous job of keeping me organized during hectic times.) “The busy season is on its way,” I reminded myself. “This is your chance to just be, and not do.”

This is balance: to take both the slow times and busy times in stride, grateful for what each set of circumstances has to teach us.

dogs, Life, time, to-do lists, work, writing, yoga

Beginning: How I Find the Time

Christa Avampato

“You have to live your life spherically, in many directions.” ~ Frances Mayes, Under the Tuscan Sun

A lot of people ask me how I can live such a varied life with so many interests that don’t necessarily fit together in a logical way. I like being a Renaissance woman; I love figuring just how all the pieces come together, even if on the surface they seem to have nothing to do with each other. I am a firm believer in connections and relationships.

I’ve struggled a bit to come up with a good answer for people who truly want to know how I fit it all in, how all these subjects and activities can live side-by-side in my brain. Part of it is my training – I’ve been on a vertical learning curve all my life, so much so that it’s where I’m most comfortable and engaged. I like having a challenge nip at me until I crack the code. For me, that’s play.

But people don’t like that answer. It’s not enough of a silver bullet. And then it dawned on me (in the lady’s room, if you must know!): most people don’t give a hoot how I fit it all in and maintain so many simultaneous interests. They want to know how THEY can do that. They want “the how” that they can replicate. Now I’ve got a bit of a better answer to their question.

Generally, this is how time works in my brain:
In the morning, I am in list mode. I jot down everything I need to do for the day, in no particular order. I add to it throughout the day, though most of my to-do’s strike right when I wake up.

Some time between 5:30am and 6:30am I head out for a walk with my pup, Phineas. You might think this is a time suck because I walk him for a full hour and I don’t multi-task when I walk him. Trust me, I need it as much as he does. It clears my head to walk Phin and I find that the whole rest of my day is much more productive after I get some exercise with him. I often return with a mental list full of writing ideas and people I need to contact later on.

After my favorite meal, breakfast (another time when I don’t multi-task – I just focus on chewing), I plow through as much individual work (at home or at the office) as I can before noon because I’m a morning person and a late night person. I’m not so much of an afternoon person. (I blame my European roots for this!) If I’m commuting to work, I use the subway ride to flip through emails and read the top news stories, again making notes in my to-do list as they arise from my reading.

Then lunch rolls around and I usually read through lunch. Again, I check the news, get through some of my to-do list, and invariably add more to my to-do list. (I’ve noticed recently that I have a tendency to mindless gulp my lunch – I need to focus a bit more on my chewing this meal.)

Afternoons are for listening and gathering information. I try to have all of my meetings and phone calls in the afternoon. I’m sure there’s a brain study here, just waiting to happen. (Now adding this research to my to-do list!)

Most of the time I have plans after work, whether I’m teaching a class, taking a class, or seeing friends. That’s down time for me and recharges me for the evening. If I don’t have plans, then I take the time for myself at home.

When I arrive home, I play with Phin for a bit and read the note from his dog walker to see how he did in the afternoon. Sometimes we take a little jaunt around the block, depending upon how we’re both feeling.

I do some yoga and an 18-minute meditation every night. No matter what. I set get out my mat and bolster, set my timer, and get it done. No compromises.

Then I write, usually with Phineas sitting next to me. The writing part of my brain kicks in when the sun goes down. I’m not sure why – perhaps because the distractions of the day have fallen away by then. I feel like way up on the 17th floor, I can be alone with my thoughts when it’s dark outside. All the listening and gathering I’ve done throughout the day has had time to gel.

Yoga, meditation, and all of the personal work I’ve done over the last two years have paid off by banishing my lifetime of insomnia. Occasionally I toss and turn, though most of the time sleep finds me pretty easily. I take Phin out for a last quick minute (literally) and then I try to shut off the lights just after I catch the top stories of the 11pm news.

That’s an average work day for me. So far, it’s working though I’m always open to changing it up as needed. How does your day map out? How do you get it all done?