Category: New York Ciy

New York Ciy, outlook, writing, yoga

Step 110: The Elusive Center

Christa Avampato

Finding our center, particularly in a city as busy as New York, is tough. This is the 3rd time in my life that I’ve lived in New York, and only now have I been able to find some semblance of peace here. I had this conversation twice today, with my friends, Ellie and Sara. Sometimes I feel like a puppy who’s chasing a light across the floor. I scramble over here and over there and everywhere, looking for the elusive “thing” that I should be doing or seeing or finding. The chase. I always feel like I’m on the look-out for something bigger and better.

In the past few months, I’ve been working on finding my center, appreciating where I am and reveling in it, rather than focusing on running toward something else. There are a few things I’ve been trying and I think they’re working to help calm me down:

1.) Yoga. Lots and lots of yoga. Getting my teacher certification is something I’ve been coveting for a number of years. Rather than making excuses of why I couldn’t do it, I just made time, happened upon the perfect program for me, and went for it. The meditation practice that has come along with my yoga training has also been an invaluable gift.

2.) I now give myself permission to just go home after work when I just need to go home. I don’t cave in to what I “should” do to live a “New York life”. I decided that my New York life includes whatever I want it to include, not any artificial expectations.

3.) I have a job that I really enjoy that provides me with a comfortable living in this city while I work on my own business ideas. I certainly realize that I hit the jackpot with this assignment, and every day I wake up and am thankful for it. It took some and effort to find the right combination of circumstances that would work for me, but finally I found my way. It just took commitment and perseverance on my part.

4.) I decided I could go out in crazy, but I didn’t need to live in crazy. I love being able to be in the middle of it all, and then I Iike to be able to get out of the middle of it when I want to go to sleep. As a result I live in a less cool neighborhood for the sake of some peace and quiet. And living near some large parks is an easy way to “get away” for a bit while I’m right in the midst of the city.

5.) My writing. This blog, my guest posts, and my on-line connections with other writers, keep me sane. Writing keeps me actively engaged while also providing me with perspective. And every crazy thing that happens to me in this city is just another source of good material.

6.) After my yoga teacher training, I’m getting a dog. For most of my life, we’ve had dogs in my family and these past few months since we lost Sebastian, our family pup, have been tough ones. After months of contemplating getting my own dog, I’ve finally decided that the routine necessary to raise a happy, healthy pup, is something I can and want to commit to.

I’d love to hear how you’re finding a ways to keep the peace amidst your busy lives, wherever you call home!

love, movie, New York, New York Ciy, relationships, Sex and the City, single

32 and single is okay

Christa Avampato

With the upcoming release of the Sex and the City movie, the idea of 30-something women in New York City pursuing successful careers, love, and happiness is being brought to the forefront of the minds of women like me. While I would never spend $1500 on a handbag or a pair of shoes, even if I had that kind of money to spend on such things, I certainly relate to some of the pursuits of the characters in that hit show. 

So it was with a little surprise that I went to a party last week and was told by another young woman that if a 32-year old found a man there’s no way she’d ever move to another city just to pursue a job opportunity, no matter how incredible the job. I was a tiny bit hurt (emphasis on the “tiny”), though was more disappointed with the person. For one thing, she knew I was a 32 year old single woman, and her characterization of women my age being desperate to find a man is completely off the mark. Would it be great to find love? Sure. Am I going to pass up incredible career opportunities in the hopes that a current boyfriend is the love of my life? No way. I wouldn’t want him to either, so why would I ask that of myself?

The other point that really gets me is that people who are in relationships often assume that the goal of all single people is to find a mate. It’s as if we must be sitting around hoping and praying that he’ll “find us”. Give me a break! I love my friends, my career, my family, my creative pursuits. They’re my focus. I’m not waiting for my true love to “rescue me” from my single life. Again, would it be great to meet a guy whom I connect with on a deep level whom I love and respect and admire? Yes, definitely. Does it consume my waking hours? No way – it’s a passing thought from time to time. And maybe somewhere down the line it happens, and maybe it doesn’t. And either way, it’s all okay.      

If there’s anything that Candace Bushnell’s characters have taught us it’s that love of self and friends and life is the greatest pursuit of all.