family, forgiveness, sports

My Year of Hopefulness – Larry Fitzgerald

During the Superbowl, most fans are watching the game, shoveling own nachos, washing the nachos down with large quantities of beer, and keeping their eyes on that eye-shaped leather ball. I spent the entire Superbowl thinking about Larry Fitzgerald


Tiki Barber interviewed Larry Fitzgerald, the 25 year old wide receiver for the Arizona Cardinals. The interview was first aired in the pre-Superbowl coverage, and then again this morning on the Today Show. In a very personal interview Fitzgerald talks about his mom’s battle with breast cancer. He and his mother were fighting shortly before she passed away and he missed the opportunity to say good-bye to her. 

Despite the fact that Tiki Barber tried to turn around the mood of the conversation, Fitzgerald was steadfast in his belief that he would always regret his lack of forgiveness for his mom. He said that it hangs over him daily. He had a hard time imagining that his mom was looking down on him and feeling proud, even though his father, a sports writer, insists that he must get over the regret and think about all of the good times they had together as a family. 

The story is a tear-jerker. I had a hard time watching it and at the same time couldn’t seem to tear myself away from it. I understand the feeling. I didn’t say good-bye to my dad even though I knew he was passing away – I just couldn’t bring myself to forgive in time to make that trek to the hospital. It took a long time to get through that — and for many years it did seem that all of my accomplishments, big and small, didn’t add up to much because I had done this horrible thing as a confused teenager. I refused to forgive in a timely fashion and then deeply regretted my actions for a very long time. So how on Earth can there be any hope in this?  

Forgiveness is a funny thing – you can’t make yourself forgive and you can’t make anyone else forgive you. Once you have it, really have it, it’s yours for life (at least for the specific reason you wish to be forgiven). It’s elusive – it doesn’t come when called, it may take a few steps toward you as you stretch out your arms to reach for it, and then it can vanish into thin air. Though if you wait patiently and tend to the other parts of your life with care, concern, and gentleness, one day forgiveness shows up on your doorstep and invites itself inside, no questions asked. 

The hardest thing we do in life is ask someone to forgive us for something we’ve done wrong. It’s a humbling experience, and I will admit that it’s one thing I’m not very good at. Larry Fitzgerald’s story gave me hope that for others out there like him, feuding with loved ones, that they will be inspired to take that difficult step toward asking for forgiveness and forgiving others. I am certain that Larry’s mother is very proud of him and has completely forgiven him for their arguments before her passing. What Larry needs to do now is forgive himself — and by sharing his story, I think forgiveness will find him.      
books, family, friendship, Hachette Book Group USA, hope

My Year of Hopefulness – Eat, Drink, and Be from Mississippi

The Hachette Book Group has a fantastic line-up of book releases this year. I just finished Eat, Drink, and Be From Mississippi by Nanci Kincaid. I wanted a book that would lift me up and make me feel more hopeful, and that’s exactly what Nanci Kincaid delivers.

We are presented with a family in Mississippi that is very typical of what we might think of as a traditional small town, southern family. By the end of the book, we are witness to the formation of a new family, mostly self-chosen, 3000 miles from Mississippi that personifies the “resurgence of collective possibility”.

Family is a funny thing: in the traditional sense, it’s an entity created by luck of the draw, people who are tied together by biology, and sometimes grow together and sometimes grow apart. Kincaid explores a new kind of family – one that people choose, either consciously or subconsciously. They fight as much as traditional families, and they also love fiercely. They believe in one another, even in the darkest hours. They are drawn to one another.

Through the whole book, I thought about this idea of having a calling, of being drawn to someone, or something, without any true justification. Could be a career, or a certain city, particular people, or a cause you care about. It overtakes you — no one tells you that you must dedicate yourself to this person, place, or ideal. You are just compelled to.

This is cause for great hope for all of us. Some of the characters in the book took a good long time to find their calling, others found it very quickly, and others thought they found it and then realized that they actually belonged some place else. It’s never too late, or too early, to find our place in the world. And sometimes that place shifts, and the best we can do is know that the Universe knows better than we do. One things is for certain: if you are open to your calling finding you at every turn, then eventually it will.

charity, family, hope, time, volunteer

My Year of Hopefulness – Dress for Success

My mom keeps everything, and I mean EVERYTHING! She has magazine that are older than I am. It drives me nuts, though I there’s also something endearing about it. She feels comfortable surrounded by her things. And in these times, who among us couldn’t use a little more comfort?

It was with great surprise that my mom emailed me yesterday and asked for a name of an agency that donates business clothes to women who are looking to get jobs in offices though cannot afford appropriate clothing. In some ways, it pains my mom to give away her things and here she is finding a way to make that task less painful by giving away extra clothes to people who need it most. I pointed her to Dress for Success.

I was thinking about this and considering this lesson in my own life. I enjoy waking up early, though I don’t enjoy having early morning obligations. However, I’m so excited to volunteer with God’s Love We Deliver that I’m willing to be there at 6:30am once a week. What better use could I have for any early morning that packing up meals for people who are in need of them?

It’s a good lesson for me to consider. We all have things we don’t necessarily like to do, though they may be necessary to do them. The trick is figuring out how to do them in a way that gives joy rather than in a way that causes discomfort.

community, family, happiness, new product development, New York Times

A Charmed Life

I took my baby niece to the Magic Kingdom. To be perfectly honest, she is so gorgeous that we always get stopped by complete strangers who want to tell her how cute she is. I think she looks like me.


My sister, Weez, and I were sitting with her on the ferry boat ride over to the Magic Kingdom when, as usual, some stranger sat down next to us and told us how perfect-looking my niece is. We smiled and modestly said thank you, though we really just wanted to respond, “We know. We get that ALL the time.” 

This particular woman was also very curious about us as well. Where are we from?, where do we work?, etc. I told her I live in New York City on the Upper West Side. “You do?” she responded. “Do you go to all of those fancy restaurants and have lots of friends there?” “I do,” I replied. “I have a pretty spectacular life there. I’m very lucky.” “You certainly are!” she cried. “Can I have that life?”

This overwhelming sense of gratitude and appreciation hit me. I really am lucky. I really do live a charmed and happy life. So why have I not been realizing that for the past few weeks? Why have I been silently worrying and fretting?

Take a look at this: http://tinyurl.com/99vpmx. It’s an opinion piece from today’s New York Times about happiness. Recent studies show that our situation relative to others is more concerning to us than our absolute situation. If I lose my job, and everyone else around me keeps theirs, then I feel very, very bad. But if I lose my job, and so does everyone else I know, then my general happiness really isn’t effected too much. Apparently “poor me” feels far worse than “poor us.” If we’re all in this together, then it’s really not so bad. If I’m all alone up the creek without a paddle, then it’s depression city. 

So is the key to happiness not our actual situations but rather surrounding ourselves with people who think we live a charmed life, or at least a life as good as theirs? 
art, education, family, friendship, music, possessions, technology, wealth

Taking stock of what I’ve got

This month, Real Simple Magazine ran a column by author Merrill Markoe who wrote the books Walking In Circles Before Lying Down and The Psycho Ex Game. Hmmm…I don’t recall ever meeting her though it appears that she has her finger on the pulse of my life. Most of my ex-boyfriends aren’t psychos per say, though a few of them have turned out to be so odd in the end that I am left scratching my head, wondering what I ever saw in them. But I digress…


Merrill’s column details the fires in Malibu, California last year when she had to nearly evacuate her home and grab a few precious belongings to pack in her car. She considers what the belongings she chose to save say about her and her values. She is a deeply witty, self-deprecating writer – my favorite kind! – and her column had me thinking about what I’d take with me if I could only pack up a carload of belongings.

There are the items that must go with me without a doubt – my phone, my Mac, my external hard drive, my digital camera, my IBM laptop (merely because that machine saw me through my two years of graduate school for which I am intensely grateful), my ipod, the jewelry box my mother gave me, a handful of photographs, particularly those of my grandmother and one of my brother, sister, and I when we are all little and playing in my grandmother’s backyard. 

If there’s room, I’d stash all of my books and take them with me though if I can only have a few, I’ll take Me Talk Pretty One Day autographed by David Sedaris telling me that he’s so proud of me (though I have no idea what for), Bird By Bird by Anne Lamott, Nelson Mandela’s Long Walk to Freedom, Three Cups of Tea, my autographed copy of Moving to Higher Ground by Wynton Marsalis, Dreams of My Father by (Future President) Obama, Hotspots published by Conservation International because it was signed by all of my friends there, A Reason for Hope by Jane Goodall, Women Who Run with the Wolves, Orbiting the Giant Hairball from my former boss, Bob Giampietro, who taught me how to thrive in a corporate environment, 700 Sundays by Billy Crystal, and Yoga: Poetry of the Body because one of my very favorite essays, “Winter” by Nina Zolotow, is in there. No fiction book made the cut…hmmmm…..what does that say?

I’d love to bring along my grandmother’s rocking chair and sewing machine though that may be a bit ambitious given their bulky size. I’d definitely grab the knit shawl my mom made for me for my birthday, the teddy bear I bought for my grandmother while I was in college (she sat on the couch watching TV with that teddy bear every day up until she passed away because she said it made her feel less lonely.) I’d take the heart-shaped ornament with the word “Sister” inscribed on it, given to me by my sister at her wedding.

My Snoopy Snowcone Machine, in the original box, is a must-have as is a framed painting of a woman dancing with a rose given to me by Kaye Ballard. I’d also snatch the two water colors I purchased in Prague just after September 11th on my first trip to Europe. My poster of Sunset Boulevard signed by Petula Clark needs to come with me, as does the watercolor I painted that is a replica of the last greeting card my grandmother sent to me before she passed away. 

Cruising into my kitchen, I’d snag my crockpot, deluxe blender / food processor, and two magnets that read “Be Nice or Leave. – Thank You” and “Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go everywhere” (A classic!). Everything else can stay. 

Bathroom – not much I’d salvage in here except my Sonicare toothbrush, my Dr. Greenfingers First Aid Kit, the purple vase from my dear friend, Blair, and my birth control (that stuff is EXPENSIVE!)

On my way out the door, I’d grab my black leather jacket, the purse my mom made for me that earns me a multitude of compliments every time I use it, a scarf my friend, Amy, bought me in Paris, my favorite jeans, my lockbox of important papers, the Chinese silk robe given to me by Petula Clark (I’ve never worn it though it serves as a reminder to me of what a true class act that lady is), my Tibetan prayer beads that hang above my front door, my swimming goggles that I learned to swim in just after my 30th birthday, the tiny birdhouse wind chime my mom gave me when I was in college, and the Coach leather bag I take to work everyday. And three more pieces of art – one of orca whales that I purchased on a solo trip to Alaska, the cloth painting I purchased in Soweto, and the painting of a monster in the forest given to me by the Crayola Factory. If there’s any more room, I’ll grab my two diplomas – the very small one from Penn and the very large one from UVA. Oh, and my passport.       

If our most prized possessions are a reflection of our values, what does this jumbled list say about me? Well, clearly there are a number of strong women who have made a significant impact on my life, particularly my mom and my grandmother. I deeply value my travels and education, and want to be surrounded by reminders of those experiences. I care about the environment. Art is a source of inspiration for me. And when it comes to appearance, I care only about the bare essentials (meaning, I’m most concerned about my teeth. These suckers were expensive and paid for by my Uncle Tom when he footed the bill for my braces. I think of him every time I look at my teeth, which is many times a day!) Technology is a big part of my life, and my life is easily transportable. I value my career. 

When I look around my apartment at what would be left after all of my favorite possessions are gone, I see some furniture, clothes, some small appliances. Though not much else, and truly all of that stuff is easily replaced for a very small amount of money. I guess I have weeded the garden of my life, stripping away nearly everything that is not essential. For one thing, I live in a 400 square foot studio. Though more importantly, I did cut back significantly on my possessions after I graduate school because I could only afford to take two car loads worth of items I could carry myself. (Movers and moving more items than that was cost-prohibitive for a recently graduated student moving to New York City without a job offer in hand.) Everything else had to find a new home in Virginia. It was an exercise in taking away all the non-essentials so the essentials could speak, and be saved. 
family, friendship, home, peace, visitors

The Irony of Company

I love company – so much so that I sometimes I think I am running a small hotel in my studio apartment. My sister, brother-in-law, and baby niece just left after a four-day stay with me. I loved showing them around, taking photos of them in places familiar to me but new to them, and seeing NYC through their fresh and appreciative eyes.


The irony is that I have worked hard to create a very peaceful life. Odd that we should have to work at peace, but I must admit that it is a daily process rather than a destination. And sometimes I wonder if my desire for peace is causing me to create a world where change is something I resist. 

This is strange ground for me — I am used to actively seeking and embracing change. Now it seems the challenge for me is how to have my peace and maintain it too, while also staying flexible and open to the world and the opportunities it presents. 
blog, blogging, family, technology

savvyauntie.com

In my TrendCentral newsletter this morning, I discovered a site that I love! Savvyauntie.com. A community for people just like me – PANKs (Professional Aunt, No Kids). FINALLY someone figured out how awesome it is to be an aunt, figured out that there are other women who love being aunts, and developed a platform to bring them all together.

The site has all kinds of cool features, tips, ways to contribute, advice, and it is stylishly designed. I love the site because it recognizes that there are many women out there who either love kids and don’t want any of their own or aren’t ready for kids of their own. On occasion I read mom blogs, but a lot of that information doesn’t pertain to me as an aunt and many of them love being a mom so much that they don’t understand why any women would choose not to have children, or delay the decision to have them. (Even when I was at the BlogHer Conference, which I found incredibly useful from a professional stand-point, I felt outside the circle many times because I wasn’t a Mommy blogger.) Melanie Notkin, the site’s founder, CEO, and editor, appreciates the p.o.v. of aunts and caters to it.

The other feature that I love about savvyauntie.com is Melanie’s willingness to share how she started this business. She’s passionate about entrepreneurship and wants to help other people on that journey if they’re so inclined. You can read all about her journey to building her own company at http://blog.savvyauntie.com/. With all the recognition and traffic she’s getting while the site is still in Beta, savvyauntie.com is going to have a long, happy, and healthy life. And the aunts of the world will be better for it!

apple, business, family, friendship, social media, technology, website, writer, writing

My new website is up and running! http://www.christainnewyork.com

Hooray! After a steep learning curve and months of agonizing over every word, photo, and design decision, my personal website is up and running. I created the website to drum-up freelance writing work and to grow my practice of helping small business effectively use new and emerging media to augment their marketing strategies. Launching my website today was the first step down the road to this new and exciting venture. The website links heavily to this blog and I will continue to maintain this blog with near-daily writing. I’d love your feedback on the website! http://www.christainnewyork.com

It is a scary thing to put myself out there alone. While secretly I consider myself an expert in communications, now that sentiment is out there in the world. While I’ve contributed to efforts via a company I work for, this is the first time I am putting my own talent and ambition out there, entirely on my own. That website in a very real sense says who I am, what I do, and what I believe. While there’s a tremendous freedom that comes with that kind of action, there is also a fair amount of fear and trepidation. “One step at a time,” I keep telling myself.
I must recommend the kind people over at GoDaddy.com, where I registered my domain name and purchased their hosting service. Their website, while very cluttered, is fairly easy to navigate after a bit of practice. What won me over is their fantastic phone support. I talked to a real person (!) three times this morning, no waiting, and very few menus. Great customer service!
I bought my new Mac earlier this year for its web design capability with the iWeb program. Love it! They saved me the pain of learning anything beyond my rudimentary html knowledge. I applaud people who can write code elegantly – I just have no desire to do it myself and Mac understands that.
I must especially thank my dear friend Dan for his wonderful photography and all of the advice he gave me when I was considering the design of the site. 
I have so many friends who gave me ideas and encouragement as I’ve considered free-lance writing and this small consulting practice. In brief: Alex, Kelly, Steve, Monika, Katie, Amy, Lisa, Trevin, Brooke, Ken, Heather, and Richard. And to my great family who always believes in me.  
career, family, news, politics, Tim Russert

Tim Russert

I read the news flash of Tim Russert’s passing with the same shock as others. “What?” I said out loud, despite the fact that I was alone in my apartment. I have previously written about my addiction to the news. I’ll give up chocolate and ice cream before I’ll give up the news. And Tim Russert has been a part of my news watching for as long as I can remember. 


I never met him, never even saw him in a rare celebrity sighting during my years in Washington, D.C., though I felt like I knew him very well. Whenever a primary or election or press conference was happening, I was eager to watch how he would crunch the numbers and determine a politician’s answers to his tough and fair questions. I believed every one of his predictions without hesitation, and  appreciated his honesty in the often less-than-honest industry of politics.


I am deeply effected by his passing for more reasons than just missing his political commentary. I admired him for how he relished his work with the gusto than many people reserve for their personal hobbies and interests. And it set me to thinking about what career I want to make my life’s work. What path do I take that I will love as much as Tim Russert loved his?  To find that path seems the best way to honor his contribution to our society. 


It’s seems unfair that he would be taken so suddenly, right before a holiday that celebrates one of his favorite roles, father, and on the eve of possibly the most historic election in our country’s history. We’ve relied on him for so long to steer us through the complexities of the political world and now we’ll need to navigate on our own. 

family, friendship, home, love, New York, relationships

A Year in the Making

I walked around all day yesterday trying to figure out what was so special about  June 11th. And finally, in Columbus Circle, it hit me – I moved back to NYC exactly one year ago. I drove up to NYC with my car full of worldly possessions – very little in fact since I had sold nearly everything I owned before leaving school. I had a relatively clean slate, save for my friends and family. It felt freeing to completely release the life I had known in Virginia just 24 hours earlier, to return to a place that felt like home and yet had so many new experiences to offer. 


One year later I am gainfully employed, spending time with my friends, many of whom have known me for a number of years during different phases of my life, writing every day, and living in my favorite neighborhood in New York. My family is an hour and a half away – an easy train ride. I have a new niece. There’s a rhythm to my days, and to my life. I kind of feel like June 11th is my adopted birthday – it’s the day I became more of who I am. On June 11th, I felt like I became an artist, a writer, again.


My first year back in NYC isn’t what I expected. It’s filled with many people whom I didn’t know when I arrived, and those who I saw only a few times a year for many years. Now I take my mom to brunch in the city, I go to dinner with Lisa and Dan and Steve and Brooke and Rob. Friends like Amy and Trevin and Anne and Alex and Kelly come to visit. I go to see Ken during a free weekend. And many friends have moved back after being away for so long, just like me. Somehow, by magic I think, a life came together for me that I never even knew was here. And all the while, I think it was waiting for me to get back home.


In this next year back in NY, I’m working to get my writing out to the world a bit more and I’m trying to find my professional niche. I’m working on meeting Mr. Wonderful, and I’m getting back into shape with my yoga, running, and weight training. (I’ve fallen off the wagon in both regards lately.) I’m taking a comedy writing class to improve my writing as much as to increase the amount of laughter in my life. And I’m recommitting to make sure that I honor my time as my most valuable asset. 


It feels good to be home.