Category: experience

adventure, books, career, celebration, change, choices, creativity, discovery, experience, family, friendship, grateful, gratitude, growth, happiness, ideas, meditation, New York City, story, writing, yoga

Step 365: What’s Possible? A 2010 Wrap-up.

Christa Avampato

“I am neither an optimist nor pessimist, but a possibilist.” ~ Max Lerner

As I cross over the finish line of 365 days of living and writing about an extraordinary life, I marvel at the passing of another year. On December 31, 2009, I wrote a post explaining that in 2010 I wanted to record something every day that put me one step closer to an extraordinary life.

This December 31st post is always fun to write because it’s a chance for me to reflect on the past year and realize how much has happened. Just like flipping through the New York Times’s Year in Pictures helps us remember what’s happened in the world around us, flipping through my posts from the last year lets me remember all the tiny steps that brought me to do this day.

My road to recovery from my apartment building fire:
I was in denial about the true effect it had on me and that brought me to Brian, my coach and therapist, who has helped my life grow in leaps and bounds. By June, I finally felt safe in my home again and could make my apartment feel like a peaceful space.

Stepping into the writing life:
I moved my blog over to WordPress and for the first time in the 3 years since I seriously began to contemplate living a writer’s life, earned enough money to be a freelance writer for hire. This year I connected with so many talented writers – Josh, Laura, Amanda, Erica, Sharni, Will, Sara, the Wordcount Blogathon writers, Katherine, the fab team at Owning Pink, Elephant Journal, and Michael.

I wrote and published my first e-book, Hope in Progress: 27 Entrepreneurs Who Inspired Me During the Great Recessions, a compilation of 27 of my interviews that I conducted with entrepreneurs through my Examiner column.

Yoga at the forefront of my life:
I completed my 200 hour yoga teacher training at Sonicstarted Compass Yoga, my own small teaching company, and will begin teaching a regular Sunday night yoga class at Pearl Studios NYC. Through Sonic I was inspired by the incredible teachers and the 23 amazing women in my class whom I hold so dear after our journey together. My yoga teacher training helped me to establish a regular meditation practice and cured the insomnia I’ve lived with all of my life. I found the joyful noise of kirtan, which re-ignited my interest in music. Yoga led me toward a true contemplation of my faith and spirituality that continues down a very healthy, peaceful path. There are not words enough to thank the people at Sonic for how much joy they brought to my life, but I gave it a shot in this post about our last class and the closing ritual of the training. I am forever and happily indebted to them.

Some wrong turns, too:
I studied for my GRE and despite doing well on the exam, Columbia sent me an email that began “we regret to inform you that you have not been accepted” [into a PhD program in education]. I wrote a curriculum for LIM College that I was tremendously excited about, and then the class was canceled at the 11th hour for reasons that still make me shake my head. I was so excited to be selected to serve on a jury and sadly realized just how imperfect our system is. I still think about the case on a regular basis.

Making peace with New York living:
In 2010 I fell in love with New York City, again and again and again. It became my home. Our love hate relationship ended its many years of turmoil and now we’re living together in a general state of bliss, with an occasional side dish of annoyance, just for good measure and because, well, it’s a very New York thing to do.

A few unexpected journeys:
I conquered my fear of swimming in open water while on a yoga retreat in Greece. I found that mistakes can be joyful.

Wonderful new additions to my family:
We happily welcomed my new little niece Aubree and after years of wondering whether or not I should get a dog, Phineas, a sweet little dachshund, has graced my life via the Humane Society and New York dachshund rescue.

And 10 valuable life lessons that I’m grateful for:
1.) Goodness is created and remembered by sharing what we have with others.
2.) Shouting dreams helps bring them into being.
3.) Stubborness can be a beautiful thing.
4.) We get what we settle for.
5.) Obstacles in our lives are valuable.
6.) We never have to wait to live the life we want.
7.) Letting go is sometimes the bravest and best thing to do
8.) Trusting our gut is the best way to get to get to the decision that’s right for us.
9.) Be thankful for less.

My favorite and most treasured discovery of 2010:
10.) Truly extraordinary living is found in very ordinary moments.

Wishing you a very happy start to 2011. Thanks so much for being with me on this journey that was 2010.

The image above makes me feel free. Find it here.

celebration, change, community, discovery, experience, friendship

Step 217: 5 Ways the World Seems Small to Me

Christa Avampato

“”It was crazy how small the world truly was. It was a matter of opening up to it.” ~Colum McCann, Let the Great World Spin

My niece, Lorelei, could spend an entire afternoon singing “It’s a Small World.” She lives in Florida and when my sister and brother-in-law take her to Disney World (which happens often), she immediately asks to go on that ride. She loves all of the music, the different scenes, and the boat ride. For my niece and her generation, the world is small and growing smaller all the time.

The quote above from Let the Great World Spin, a remarkable read that I highly recommend, got me to thinking about all of my own small world examples. It still amazes me that in a city of millions, the many circles I run in merge and overlap so often. Some fun examples:

1.) My friend, Amanda, found me through my blog after we went to Penn together (graduated the same year) and lived in the same city (D.C.) for two years. I probably saw her out in the world countless times, though our writing actually lead us to one another. Our friend, Sara, found me through a mutual friend and as it turned out she lived in D.C. at the same time Amanda and I lived there, and her and Amanda have remarkably similar circumstances in their personal lives.

2.) People have a habit of recurring in my life. Even separated by many miles and years, old friends pop up in the most unlikely places and I always laugh when I learn that our paths have run so close together without even knowing it. My favorite of these is my friend, Jeff, who shows up as my little guardian angel right when I need him most – for example, when I’m job hunting (he helped start my career in professional theatre) or completely lost in Amsterdam (I ran into him on street corner when completely at my wit’s end.) We barely talk between those instances and yet it he never feels like a stranger to me.

3.) Twitter, Facebook, and blogs of every variety make it easy to find out pack. I love that geography no longer limits the relationships to begin, build, and keep. Let people talk about information overload – for us information junkies, Twitter creates a dream-come-true candy store.

4.) Books build bridges across time and space. I love that the writing of people who lived centuries before me have stories that resonate with me. And I feel such a gratitude toward them for writing it all down. Those experiences keep me writing, in the hopes that centuries from now someone may read something I wrote and think “here’s a person who gets me.”

5.) I love confluence and synchronicity. I love the feeling that rises up when something unexpected happens to me and I understand why. Steve Jobs said that we only understand our lives and how they unfold by looking backward. I agree. When I reflect on my own history, even when it seemed so random in the moment, a reason for every circumstance always appears clear as day. This realization makes tough times easier to manage.

What experiences make you feel like we live in a small (or big, as the case may be) world?

choices, creative process, curiosity, discovery, dreams, experience, productivity, success

Step 204: Better to Never Finish Than Never Begin

Christa Avampato

“Can anything be sadder than work left unfinished? Yes – work never begun.” – Christina Rossetti

I saw this quote this morning on Twitter courtesy of Bridget Ayers, President of Get Smart Web Consulting. Over this week in Florida, I’ve been planning some new projects including a new blog / book idea about yoga and personal finance, my LIM College class about social media marketing, and schools where I can pilot Innovation Station, my after-school program for middle school students that teaches them about product design. I’ve had some moments of doubt about these projects – Are they valuable to people? Do I have enough experience to pull them together? What if they don’t work?

Doubts are important in the same way that a healthy fear of the ocean keeps us from drowning. After doubts initially occur to me, I remember to be grateful for them. Doubts, if handled properly, can dramatically improve our ideas. Doubts should be incorporated into our product development, but they should not deter us from getting started.

We should always begin, and if our projects don’t work out, we should just begin again. There’s no harm in giving something a go. The real harm is in never giving ourselves a chance.

experience, yoga

Step 100: Open the Heart

Christa Avampato

“Enlightenment means opening the chest, and thereby opening the heart. That’s a worthy goal.” ~ Keith, my yoga teacher

Keith is my anatomy teacher for my yoga teacher training program. Despite his modesty, he has an insane amount of knowledge about the body, about moving someone else’s body, and about the body’s positioning to the world around it. He’s also a little sarcastic and contrarian so that makes me like him even more.

In our class today, he emphasized the need to focus on opening. “Forget about what a manual tells you to do or what a teacher tells you to do or what some guru tells you do. Just minimize pain,” he told us. “If your knee hurts when you have a certain alignment, then change the alignment or end up with bad knees.” Straight-forward. No nonsense. Exactly my kind of teacher.

Keith really made us get under the hood of our practice and consider what it is we’re all really trying to do. Put aside all those textbook answers of improve our health, increase flexibility, etc. “Enlightenment means opening the chest, and thereby opening the heart. That’s a worthy goal,” he told us.

So now imagine if every asana we ever took, every meditation practice we ever did, every breath we ever took had that same goal. Open the heart. What if that becomes the only thing we ever tell ourselves we have to do? What doors begin to open and what doors do we choose to close? What opportunities do w seek out and take and what opportunities do we just let pass on by? With that kind of clear direction, open the heart, we now have a lens to look through for our every action and every day. Open the heart, and that’s enough.

experience, happiness

Step 76: Other Ways of Watching

Christa Avampato

“The eyes are no good for watching. They stray too much.” ~ Madame Armfeldt in A Little Night Music as played by Angela Lansbury

During A Little Night Music, Madame Armfeldt is talking to her granddaughter, Fredricka, who is trying to see the night smiling at her. Madame Armfeldt explains the failings of the eyes to actually watch because they get too distracted. The world is full of things that are bright and shiny that take our attention elsewhere. If we want to see, really see, things of true value we must go beyond their appearance to get at their essence. What raises our long-term happiness level, and the happiness level of those around us? Those are the things of true value.

My yoga teacher, Johanna, has been trying to get us to see that nothing we are looking for is outside. It’s all “in here”. The way is in the heart and the soul. Think what you want about this groovy sentiment, I’m beginning to believe that Jo is on to something. As I strolled through the park today on my birthday morning walk, I focused on how the things I was seeing and hearing and experiencing were in communion with my internal feelings of well-being and happiness. I ceased to see myself as separate from my surroundings, and saw myself as just a component of them. In this new state, I could see, not with my eyes but with my heart, that the world is always smiling at me.

So on the occasion of my 34th birthday, I do have a wish to make as I blow out the candles on my delicious cupcake (after all, what’s a birthday without cupcakes?) – I wish to begin seeing, watching, in new ways. I want to learn how to be in the world with consciousness in a way that does not weigh me down, but rather in a way that makes me lighter. I wish for a continued growth of gratitude and gladness, and the opportunity to bring that sense of gladness to others. I wish to be present in every moment, watching and communicating with the heart.

The image above is not my own. It can be found here.

experience, good fortune, happiness, luck, mood, movie, outlook

My Year of Hopefulness – Prepare Yourself

Christa Avampato

“Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

For the past few months, I’ve been thinking about preparedness. For whatever reason, my life has taken some unexpected, wonderful turns that I didn’t expect during this time. And for some other reasons that I don’t fully I understand, I have been prepared for them. Ready to raise my hand, ready to make time in my life to pursue these new opportunities, ready to be surprised.

We owe it to ourselves to be able to accept and relish happy circumstances. And I have found more often than not that happiness largely depends on our desire to be happy. My friend, Kelly, and I love to quote the movie Say Anything when John Cusack says, “how hard is it to just decide to be in a good mood and then be in a good mood?” If we keep ourselves always looking up, aiming high, and seeking good fortune, then we at least have a decent shot at living a life that’s good, honest, and worthwhile.

This life requires that we be prepared for things to go our way. We spend so much time preparing for disaster, disappointment, and hardship. I’ve spent a lot of my life hoping for the best and expecting the worst. But what if I spent even a small amount of time at least anticipating if not expecting the best outcome? These last few months have taught me that the best of times can be upon us now, even when many world circumstances look so bleak. While the world may not be clean and bright, our attitude and outlook can be, and perhaps that intention is enough to change not only our own circumstances, but the circumstances of those whose lives we touch.

The image above can be found at: http://lh4.ggpht.com/_wZoiN6j9b2k/R0s8rN24ETI/AAAAAAAAALc/57869_Jfv9E/100_3377.JPG

entrepreneurship, experience, luck, writing

My Year of Hopefulness – Know Where You’re Going

Christa Avampato

“The world stands aside to let anyone pass who knows where he is going.”
~ David Starr Jordan, ichthyologist and peace activist

I have come across a slew of powerful quotes recently. This quote by David Starr Jordan is one that had special meaning for me this week. I have been considering a number of different new business ventures, cranking along in my writing, and moving ahead with projects that have been in the queue for a while. This week I started to notice that while I am extremely busy, I’m in a groove. The world seemed to remove all obstacles from my path and allowed me to pass through with ease. And more than once, I noticed that a happy coincidence and helpful resources presented themselves. I’ve even found my typical junk mail helpful!

Nothing has recently changed in my life. I make the same amount of money, have the same skill sets, know the same people. So how did I cross over? How has life managed to somehow get easier as of late?

For one thing, I am asking for help, input, and advice with greater frequency. This is not something that’s easy for me. I pride myself on being tremendously self-sufficient. However, the projects I’m most excited about at the moment require expertise beyond my own knowledge. And therefore, necessitate my reaching out. I’ve been blown away by the willingness of others to help me.

I’ve also noticed my confidence, in my writing and in my business ideas, has also grown. I’ve been playing ‘fake it until I make it’, and guess what? It works. My years of writing and developing idea, products, and services is paying off as I cross over form being a novice with an interest to someone with concrete experience and tangible work to show for my efforts.

Finally, I know where I’m going, making me more aware of the help that has been around me all along. I’m on the path to starting my own company, and I know what I want it to look like and how I want it to function. Knowing where I’m going has made articulating my vision and values much clearer, to myself and to everyone else. It might be a long and winding road, though it’s much easier to keep going when the world provides its encouragement and assistance.

experience

My Year of Hopefulness – Awareness

Christa Avampato
“The art of awareness is the art of learning how to wake up to the eternal miracle of life with its limitless possibilities.” ~ Wilfred Peterson

Today, I was painfully unaware. I tripped out of my shoes twice on my way to work, had to go back into my house after getting halfway down the block because I realized I forgot my wallet, and by 4:00pm I wondered where on Earth the day went. I was hopeful this morning that a night of sleep had lifted my fog. Not today.

Bringing awareness to our lives amid tough circumstances is difficult. People insulate themselves from pain by building their own little world to live in. For a short time, that’s helpful. But as Ani DiFranco said, “Self-preservation is a full-time occupation,” and we can’t live in our own world on a full-time basis. If we want to survive and thrive, we eventually have to join the rest of the human race, aware of circumstances all around us, most of which are far beyond our control.

So how do we wake up without being scared half to death? The world is tough, especially now, and being aware can be terrifying. How can we curb the anxiety induced by being completely conscious of what’s going on around us? Even the idea of limitless possibilities can be overwhelming.

Here’s what I do to get back my awareness while also keeping myself calm:

1.) I focus on my breathe, my heartbeat, and the movement of my joints – things I typically don’t pay attention to. Recognizing the effort it takes to keep these things going makes me feel stronger.

2.) Consider that while there are limitless possibilities for my life, there are only certain things that I am good at and that I enjoy. If I overlay these two things over all the possibilities available to me, the list shrinks dramatically to a manageable number of options.

3.) Remember that many options are better than none.

4.) The flip side of awareness is ignorance, and ignorance is the thing I hate most in the world. I’d rather be aware and scared than ignorant and thoughtless.

5.) Those in history who have truly had an impact on the world are those who are keenly aware. My desire to have an impact is incredibly strong, and if the way to impact is awareness then I must take that road. My wish to make a difference is stronger than any of my fears.

career, change, experience, family, friendship, love, relationships, travel
Christa Avampato

“Man can touch more than he can grasp.” ~ Gabriel Marcel

We have a very short time on this planet. While we might think that 80 or 90 years sounds like such a long time, in reality it is the bat of an eye when considering the length of history. In our lifetimes, we’ll see and take part in many different experiences with many different people in many different places. And while we might have the instinct to take part in any and every way that we can, we just can’t. We have to choose where and how and on whom to spend our time and energy.

Where will we have the most impact? Where will we find the most joy? Do we care about life-long learning or is it connection with others that is most important to us? These types of questions are critical for us to consider and answer when we think about what we’d like to do with our time here.

There are millions of ways for us to make a difference – there are so many places, people, and things that will somehow enter our lives. The only question we really have to answer is, “which experiences we will witness and let pass and which are the ones that are we will hang onto for longer than a moment?”

death, dying, experience, family, friendship, grateful, gratitude, human factors, loss, sadness

My Year of Hopefulness – Trade-offs

Christa Avampato

Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars. –Henry Van Dyke

A friend of mine recently lost his father and as we talked about loss, we delved into the topic of trade-offs. It’s part of life to enjoy good, happy times for a while. And yet somewhere in the back of our minds, we are conscious of the fact that these moments are fleeting. Part of experiencing life, and love, and a connection to others also requires us to have the ability to let go. It’s an odd and scary thing if we think about it too long, so it usually comes to us as a passing thought, and then we send it away.

I used to have a very hard time dealing with the loss of someone. It seemed so unfair to me to have someone we love taken away. Was it really worth it to feel a connection to people? Did it make sense to spend so much of our very brief time on this planet cultivating relationships with others that eventually fall away, for one reason or another.

Many years ago, a friend of mine was dealing with the loss of his grandfather. Knowing how much he loved his grandfather and how close he was to him, I expressed my extreme sympathy for his loss. And without a tear in his eye or a choked up feeling in his throat, he said, “Please don’t be sorry. I’m not.” I just couldn’t understand. How on Earth could he not be sorry?

“I had this amazing person in my life for so many years. I was so lucky to know that kind of love and closeness to someone for so long. He taught me an amazing amount throughout my whole life that I’m able to pass on to others. He was such a gift and I’m so grateful that I had the opportunity to have him in my life.”

I think about this conversation every time I or someone I care about must deal with losing someone. It’s so hard to imagine letting go, and I find that emphasizing the gift of their presence in our lives for however long we have them eases the sadness. It doesn’t eliminate the sadness and it doesn’t betray the person’s memory. It just helps us keep perspective, and we helps us to begin to understand that it is all worth. The cultivation of relationships is what this life we live is all about. They are the very essence of human experience.