As I was scrolling through Pinterest yesterday in search of an image for another piece I’m writing, I came across this image of a small boy making his way up a seemingly endless staircase. He’s determined – knees lifted, arms pumping, no sign of slowing down.
How many times do we stop mid-step in our journey to gaze up at just how far we have to go? Our nerves get the best of us. We wonder if we can really make it to the top. Maybe we should just turn around now, save the effort and the energy. Is the rest of the climb really worth it, especially if we don’t know what the world will look like from way up there in the great beyond? Isn’t this spot where we are right now good enough?
Maybe, but personally I like to know my options. I want to see the world from way up high, knowing that I can always stroll back down if I want to. I’m too curious to give up the climb; too in love with the journey itself to turn away from possibility.
Don’t let the height of that staircase, nor the effort it requires, keep you from going further. Don’t think about the top; just think about the next step. One by one, take them in stride, and enjoy the experience that each one offers.
“To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest.” ~ Pema Chodron
Comfort feels so good that we never want to leave. The trouble is that if we never set out for higher ground, if we never throw ourselves out of our comfort zone and into unfamiliar territory, we don’t grow. We don’t learn just how strong we are. We only build resilience, determination, and grit by remaining focused in the face of discomfort. Life is a continual adaptation to change.
Sometimes, I wish this weren’t the case. I wish we didn’t need a burning platform to truly change our ways. I wish we could learn how to be calm in the face of discomfort without ever having to actually be uncomfortable.
It doesn’t work that way. Life is a full contact sport. We actually have to live it – all its ups and downs and the ride in-between – in order to understand what it’s all about.
For this reason, I don’t get frustrated or angry when the going gets tough. I may briefly feel sad or unhappy that something I wanted didn’t go my way. As a general rule, I give myself about 10 minutes to feel as terrible as I want to feel without passing any kind of judgement. I can sit in the dust of disappointment, shake my fists at the sky, and ask “why, why, why?” as loudly as possible. And then I need to pick myself up, shake off the dust, and get on with my day, grateful for the tough times upon me that help me to wake up and feel truly alive.
So often we hope that the clouds hanging above our heads will magically part but what I’ve found is that the clouds part through our own volition. We decide that it is time to clear them away. We climb up and with our own two hands, we brush them out-of-the-way to let the light in. We are happy, free, empowered, and awake by choice, not chance. We restore comfort in our lives by creating it in every circumstance of our living.
“If you’re not prepared to be wrong, you’ll never come up with anything original.” ~ Ken Robinson
Being wrong is underrated. It usually comes about because we went out on a limb, tried something new, or put forward an idea that was provocative and against the grain. These actions have so much merit, regardless of the outcome because they require boldness, courage, and passion. It’s hard to overstate the value of these qualities in the pursuit of a well-lived life.
“Wrong” used to be akin to a curse word for me. I was afraid of what may happen if I was wrong, whether that meant giving answers on a math quiz, starting a new relationship, or speaking my mind. Despite the fear I did these things anyway, either because I had to (fear was not a reason to not take a math quiz) or because I was just too curious about the outcome to not try (please refer to my dating history.)
And you know what terrible thing befell me when I was wrong? Nothing. Life just went on. Perhaps I was a little (or a lot) embarrassed. On occasion I was mad that situations didn’t go the way I wanted them to go. Every once in a while I was sadly disappointed. No matter. In due time, I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and started again.
Now I barely even blink when I’m wrong. I recognize my mistake, I learn, and I move on. I don’t waste any time analyzing to death the error of my ways. I don’t beat myself up over it. I’ve learned to revel in my humanness – flaws, foibles, and all. And I’ve also learned to revel in the humanness of others, which is a gift all its own.
So go ahead. Risk looking like a fool because you went after something with your whole heart. Take a chance, a big chance that may cause you to fall flat on your face. Even if this comes to pass, your own resilience will surprise you. You’re stronger, more adaptable, and quicker-to-heal than you think.
“He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.” ~ Albert Einstein
I spend time with my nieces, Lorelei and Aubree, because I love them. I also spend time with them because I am incredibly selfish. They are a constant reminder to me that life is filled with the exciting, the unexpected, and the unprecedented. There are millions of surprises just waiting for us. The world wants to astound us, to make us wonder and wander. It wants us to be free and open to its magic, to follow its lead into the miraculous and previously unimagined. My nieces remind me of all of that whenever they see something I have seen a million times before and regard it with amazement.
Show up with a full heart, open eyes, and perked up ears. You won’t be disappointed. You’ll be inspired.
Hoffman was photographed at his home in Los Angeles in January by Hedi Slimane.
“And just how long have we got the magic?”~ Dustin Hoffman to his cinematographer regarding the last hour of daylight for filming
Today I’m off to SXSW 2012. I’m excited to be teaching and speaking about the benefits of yoga and meditation for the start-up / tech community. This will be my second year attending as a presenter, and I’m so honored to be a part of the celebration. While many people are sent on behalf of their companies, I’ll be there independently and ready to be inspired by anything and anyone who crosses my path. I feel so much excitement and anticipation of good, good things to come from this experience.
And all the while I’ll be thinking about Dustin Hoffman.
The New York Times featured this mammoth film figure last weekend as he hit the beginner button again. At 74, he is making his directorial debut with Quartet. Termed “a joyful movie about old age”, it explores how four once-famous opera singers have one last opening night by putting together a concert at their retirement home. Is Hoffman scared about starting over, taking this kind of turn in his career at 74?
“I do believe in luck myself,” he says, “but also in fate — it’s a duality. They had been working on ‘The Graduate’ for two years or something. They had a script and were casting, and I was at the end of the list. They had been through the Redfords and all those people. So in a sense, it has all been an accident.”
So if it’s all an accident any way, then what is there to lose? It’s like every win is just gravy and every loss is just another way to learn. And this is a wonderful reminder as I head for Austin and SXSW, a gathering of people who are taking on the role of beginner every day, exploring, experimenting, and with every action trying to make the world a little bit better than it was yesterday. This is the Tao of Hoffman in action – the magic is only going to be around for just so long and it’s our responsibility to make the best of it while we have it.
Frank Lloyd Wright's iconic emblem that he weaved through most of his work
“Love is the virtue of the heart. Sincerity the virtue of the mind. Courage the virtue of the spirit. Decision the virtue of the will.” ~ The Organic Commandments by Frank Lloyd Wright
During a recent business trip to Phoenix, I made a quick stop at Taliesin West – one of Frank Lloyd Wright’s most famous homes, on the advice of a friend. “It’s really something you should see,” he said. I expected Taliesin West to be a museum. I didn’t expect to be immersed so fully into his life. The compound remains a revered school of architecture, a working studio, and an ongoing experiment in sustainable design.
Enormously difficult, arrogant, and brazen, the only thing that overshadowed his infamous personality was his genius as a designer. He broke every rule and then some, personally and professionally. Extraordinarily, he had only two semesters of formal study at an engineering school. It’s reported that he left that second semester, contacted his mother, and told her he wouldn’t be returning in the Fall because he knew more than everyone else there. His prolific life proves he was right. (However, imagine the legacy he could have left if he had a bit more humility to save him the years of struggle in his 40s and 50s.)
And this brings me to the very point of this post. I am very hard on myself. Brian can often he found laughing out loud as I explain to him that at the age of 35 I should be more accomplished by now. This is somewhat related to the curse of fully understanding on such a deep level how fleeting and short life is. I sometimes wish that feeling would subside for just a day, but it’s never happened. It’s so engrained that my mind automatically and consciously charts time, and keeps pushing me to seek, find, and do.
As if sensing my constant internal struggle with time, my tour guide at Taliesin West started the tour by saying, “Mr. Wright’s legacy truly began after his 60th birthday, and he is best known for the work he completed after he turned 80. He worked until 5 days before he passed away right here in this home. So don’t worry. You have plenty of time to make your mark on the world, too.” I breathed a little sigh of relief and an audible thank you to Frank. He may have been a selfish, conceited old coot, but his ability to create exactly the life he imagined at every age is damn inspiring.
Frank Lloyd Wright used his youth and most of his adult years as a way of building mastery. He experimented and reinvented. He tried, failed, and tried again. He never gave up, never lost faith, and never second-guessed his own gut – even in the face of very staunch criticism and shunning by his colleagues and contemporaries. Perhaps we could all do with just a bit of his confidence, dedication, and determination – he did have plenty to go around.
Take it from Frank – now is always the best time for a new beginning.
To see all of my photos from Taliesin West on my Google+ account, click here.
“Plans are useless…planning is indispensible.” ~ Einsenhower
As a relentless planner and practitioner, I’ve sometimes wondered if I slog through this process in vain. After all, so few of my plans work out the way I want them to go, or the way I think I want them to go. Maybe planning is a waste of time.
Now, come on, you didn’t really think I’d throw in the towel on planning did you? How could I toss away this highly attuned skill for scenario mapping, decision tree drawing, and pro con list making? It took a lot of work to get here, and even if my plans don’t work out it’s not a waste to plan, is it?
According to Ike, it’s very valuable. And I agree. I do love the act of planning, outcome aside. I like to think about possibilities and compare them to one another. Planning gives me a chance to consider how I want to spend my time and with whom. It gives me time to reflect on past experiences and to relive their lessons. Planning makes me realize just how far I’ve come along in life and they get me excited for what’s ahead. Planning is the compass for self-discovery.
I’ve often heard it said that the act of giving is its own reward. I think that goes for planning, too.
“Two things awe me most, the starry sky above me and the moral law within me.” ~ Immanuel Kant
A couple of years ago, I took Michael Sandel’s online class Justice. (See also wrote a book by the same name, and it takes the basic principles discussed in his class and applies them to today’s economic, social, political, and spiritual debates.) Dr. Sandel is a Political Philosophy professor within Harvard Department of Government and his class is among the most famous in the world and one of the largest and most popular in Harvard’s history. The class is free and open to all.
Sandel is a master lecturer. He opens each class with a provocative and polarizing moral dilemma. Perhaps not surprising to any of you, I immediately have an opinion. Then somehow in the most elegant and subtle of ways, Dr. Sandel has me on the fence and in each class I am reminded that the opinions I think I am the most sure of are actually the ones I am not sure of at all. Suddenly, he has me questioning every moral decision I have made. Of course, this is his objective. As my 9th grade English teacher, Mr. Warren, once said, “Judgement stops thought.” Sandel’s trick is to get us to think again after we’ve judged – a mighty difficult feat.
It’s been such an interesting exercise to take the class again and see how my opinions and ideas have been changed by the last couple of years of experience. The one lessons that he continues to alight in me more than any other is that our minds have such an incredible capacity, a capacity beyond our own comprehension. In his lectures, I can actually feel the physical and metaphysical aspects of my brain stretching, reaching, and ultimately growing. As Kant, the subject of Dr. Sandel’s dissertation at Oxford, alludes to in the quote above, we are in awe of the stars above. Who or what made them, and why are they placed just so? And if their placement, and even their very existence, is all a random and perfect accident, then what triggered it and how sustainable is this situation? What’s the meaning of it all? Big, heady questions.
But there is another chance accident that is just as intriguing, personal, knowable, and close-to-home: the ability to change our minds. Yes, to change our opinions and points-of-view, but also to literally change our minds – the biochemistry, the actually wiring that makes our daily activities possible. We have an extraordinary capacity to believe and then alter our beliefs based upon new information, new experiences.
When we take a step back, we really must recognize that we are remarkable beings with unlimited potential, this vibrating mass of possibility. Just to think of this and begin to approach the full comprehension of the miracle that is us, I choke up. It gives me so much hope to understand that whatever ills we face today can all be changed tomorrow if we are willing to change. The state of the world very much depends upon the state of us, each and every one of us. A new beginning is only a thought away.
“Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.” ~Buddha via Tiny Buddha
There is something to be on your dharma, your path. This week I had a number of experiences as I met with potential partners for Compass Yoga where I was conscious of being truly alive, truly living my practice. I came to realize that what I offer as a teacher afford me the opportunity to be a part of everyday miracles. I have the opportunity and the privilege to help people shape their days, their lives.
Brian has been encouraging me to focus not on what I think about my experience but how I feel about it. And when feelings crop up that seem confusing, he’s asked me to go more deeply into them, to use yoga to get at the fear and discomfort that arises from time to time. His hunch is that the yoga will replace any uncertainty or fear I may feel about taking a step away from the crossroads and down a newly imagined road. He’s asked me to consider the idea of willing what I need from the universe and being open to the response.
Discovery is found at that junction between crafting our lives in the image we desire and being open to all of the ways that image can manifest itself. We are lead in different directions for reasons that we think we understand, and yet when we arrive we find that the picture isn’t exactly as we thought it would be. The lessons are different, and what we learn is rarely what we expect and always exactly what we need.
To discover, we need an open heart and a curious mind, a relentless pursuit of the new and unfamiliar. It takes equal amounts of courage and strength. We need to let go of fear, and just sink down into the flow that is all around us. We work so hard to find our way, to find our purpose and calling. When it’s found, we owe to ourselves to give our lives over to it. There’s something really beautiful and really freeing about letting our path guide us. We’ve done the work; we’ve done our part. Now let the universe hold up its end of the deal.
I saw this image yesterday when I went searching for information on the image I posted yesterday about how to live your life by your own design. This poem by Frank Outlaw reminded me of this quote from Dr. Lu, a doctor of Traditional Chinese Medicine. Who we become begins with our thoughts on our purpose. You can think the life you want into being. Frank Outlaw just handed us a map of 31 words.
As a writer, the second step of the journey – turning thoughts into words – is where I spend a considerable amount of time. Our words are the first pathways to our personal transformation. As a yoga teacher and yoga therapist, I help students find their own words by working through their own barriers in the body. Our past challenges, mental and physical, store physically in different parts of the body. Through yoga, we can remove the blocks in our bodies that then allow us to articulate our stories.
Once we can articulate our stories, we begin to heal and we become the rulers of our thoughts rather than our thoughts ruling us. It’s this combination of writing and yoga that is so powerful for me as a student and as a teacher. This is where it all comes together. I’m not here to impart any wisdom; I’m here to guide others to their own wisdom that they already have within them.
Christa Avampato 