Category: courage

commitment, courage, creativity, time, vision

Beginning: Kick the Perfection Addiction

Christa Avampato

“The important work of moving the world forward does not wait to be done by perfect men.” ~ George Eliot, British writer

Yesterday’s post was a call to action and it caused me to think about all of the things that may prevent us from acting, from getting our creative ideas out into the world. We’re afraid of criticism, we’re afraid we don’t know enough, and we’re afraid that our ideas just aren’t good enough. I don’t think that fear is the main reason we fail to act. I think it’s our addiction to perfection. I get this need on a very serious level. I used to pride myself on my perfection. I gleaned most of my self-worth from it, and in the process I wasted a lot of time. And time is more valuable than perfection.

Our addiction is well-justified: we are highly protective of our intellectual property (with good reason) and we want to find our groove before we offer the big reveal. But here’s the rub: we find our groove by acting on our ideas and collaborating with others. We can’t find our way by sitting on our couch. We have to get out into the world and try our ideas on for size as we let others do the same. Perfection stands in stark contrast to that truth. Perfection leaves us sitting on the couch.

Get out the chisel and break yourself free of the need to be perfect because it’s not a need at all. It’s a perception, a legacy system that needs to be left behind if we are going to progress. Thank that tiny voice of perfection for its input, turn the volume all the way down, and get your creative work done. The world needs you just as you are – perfection not required.  

courage, failure

Beginning: Amy Poehler, Baseball, & Why We Should All Keep Trying

Christa Avampato

“This thing we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down.” ~ Mary Pickford (via Leslie Knope)

Network TV is my guilty pleasure. Anyone who says there’s nothing good on television isn’t looking hard enough. Last week I took in an episode of Parks and Recreation. Truthfully, I hated it the first few times I caught a piece of an episode. Then somehow the show found its legs and Leslie Knope (played by Amy Poehler) stopped being a pathetic whiner and became brilliant without losing her quirks. She’s playing a caricature, but a caricature with humanity – something that’s difficult to do. She pulls out lines like the one by Mary Pickford at just the right time without making us feel like we’re being lectured by our parents. Every episode finds a genuine teachable moment.

The quote got me thinking about the necessity of runway that every new endeavor needs. NBC gave Parks and Recreation some room to find its groove. The Saint Louis Cardinals never gave up on the possibility of wining the World Series, even in mid-September when it looked all but impossible to pull that one out of the hat. At our last board meeting, I told the Compass Yoga board members that we should think about building out a second program because it appeared that we had contacted every veteran group in New York City and there were no more stones to turn over. The Board didn’t buy it. Their wise counsel: look harder. I did, and it turns out there are more stones. Stones that are actually boulders with a great deal of richness under them.

Even when all seems lost, even when it seems like we’ve run out of steam, inspiration, and opportunity, there is always more we can do. It takes extra ingenuity and some unconventional risk taking to find those additional options. Even when a way is not apparent, or even likely, we have to keep our will. We just never know when our luck will turn around.

We all stumble, fall, and make a mess. Life is not neat, orderly, or easy. However, there is a lot of good for us to do if we just keep at it. I don’t pretend to understand the magic of conviction and commitment. I just know it’s there. And I also know that if you get knocked down and stay down, then you’re denying yourself the opportunity to do truly great work and you’re cheating the rest of us who would benefit from it. Plus, it’s just plain sad and wasteful.

Take your punches and then stick your neck out again. It’s the only sure way to give yourself the best odds of succeeding.  

career, change, commitment, courage

Beginning: Tear Down The Walls to Your Potential by Commiting to Your Own Road

Christa Avampato

Leap of Faith from liz-green.com
“The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating — in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.” ~Anne Morriss

MJ, one of the very loyal and resourceful readers of this blog, sent me this quote a few weeks ago and its been milling around in my mind ever since. I’ve been thinking a lot about boxes – the ones we put ourselves into, the ones we put other people into, and the ones others put us into. I’ve been thinking of taking a more freelance approach to my life and work, and this potential is causing equal amounts of anxiety and excitement. I feel like I’ve got one foot firmly planted on a ledge and one hanging in mid-air. To combat this feeling, I focus on my breath until the anxiety passes.

And then this quote by Anne Morriss will pop into my mind. Perhaps a commitment to this new road is what I need to put the fear to rest for good. Rather than going round and round about the possibility, what I may need to do is stop waiting and just leap. What I’m doing now feels akin to holding my breath, freezing so that I won’t slip or stumble. We exhibit the freeze response when we encounter fear that we feel like we can’t fight or flee. The fear is all around us and so we hold, hoping it passes us by without seeing us.

This fear I have at the moment is different. It doesn’t really ever subside because it’s in anticipation of a step I know I must eventually take. Just today, I spoke with 3 good friends who have come to the realization that they need to have greater control over their careers, and that means taking their careers more into their own hands rather than leaving their promotion entirely at the hands of others. One just joined a start-up, and two are considering their own ventures entirely. All came to this conclusion: they are their own best bosses.

Not perfect and certainly not without its own challenges, but as good as it gets.

What entrepreneurship gives us, as Anne Morriss so brilliantly gets at in her quote, is the removal of walls and barriers to our potential. So long as we allow someone else to put us in a box constructed completely of their goals, performance reviews, rules, and visions of success, then we give someone else the power to define our future. The only box I’m ultimately interested in is the box I put myself into because I always have the option to break out of that one and redefine its boundaries. Perhaps its time for some re-imagineering of just how my time is spent, with whom, and for what.

courage, growth, yoga

Beginning: Standing on My Head

Christa Avampato

At some point, you just have to decide you are capable and that you have all the tools you need. For several years I’ve been working on more intense and challenging asanas, not because I think they are the be all end all, nor that their accomplishment has anything to do with how deeply I understand and live my practice. To be honest, they just look like fun and I thought they would give me a new perspective.

What dreams may come
I told you a bit about the interesting dreams I had while in Florida. One was an affirmation that I’m ready to take the reigns of my professional life. The other let me know that I have far more options that I think I do in terms of my independence. Where did these dreams come from? Was it vacation that brought them on? A change of scene, creating a change of self? Maybe.

A new way of seeing the world is closer than we think
What may also be at play here is that my body’s long-standing belief that I cannot stand on my hands or my head in challenging asanas has been put to bed. A few weeks ago I went to Yoga Vida with my pal, Sara, and we took an arm balance workshop. The mechanics that the instructor, Alex Schatzberg, explained clicked for me. He layers simple postures on top of one another to build out arm balances. Easy to say, harder to do, but with practice it makes so much sense. Then One night at my sister Weez’s house in Florida, I just decided I was going to do my arm balances and my headstand in the middle of the living room, no wall. It was just time. I felt an overwhelming amount of confidence and went for it. And it was there, as if it was waiting for me.

This literally new perspective may have done more than just give me a few more asanas to play around with. It may have tipped my perspective of my life upside down, too, as well as released some kind of block in my body that had been there for so long. We are so much more amazing than we give ourselves credit for, in body, mind, and spirit.

courage, nature, New York City

Beginning: I Wish the 9/11 Site Was a Greenspace

Christa Avampato

Photo I took of the Freedom Tower on 7.12.11
I walk by the 9/11 site every day. My office building is right across the street, so close that the CEO of my company saw the plane fly into one of the towers from his office on the 50th floor. In the past 6 months, the amazing people who have worked at the site for close to 10 years have made incredible, visible progress after spending so much time excavating and securing the foundation of the area. The difficulties they have worked through are astounding.

Yesterday I had lunch at Nobu New York with the amazing Lynn Altman, founder of the innovation agency BrandNow. (If you aren’t familiar with Lynn’s work, hop over to her site and check it out. She’s one of the very best in the biz and I loved working with her!) Lynn had not been down to the 9/11 site in a while and was incredibly impressed with the recent progress, which spurred me to reconsider a thought I’ve had in the back of my mind for a number of years.

I am sure the Freedom Tower will be beautiful though I can’t help but wish that we had decided to build a living, breathing greenspace rather than another set of buildings. I’m imagining an impressive, lush, beautiful park. Gardens, fountains, and a true memorial of peace, respite, and life for all of the courageous and precious souls we lost there that day and the many more who in the aftermath risked it all as first responders.

Shouldn’t a memorial to life and resilience be paved with life itself rather than concrete?

commitment, courage, creative process, creativity

Beginning: If You Don’t Like a System, Tear It Down and Start Over

Christa Avampato

“For if you suffer your people to be ill-educated, and their manners to be corrupted from their infancy, and then punish them for those crimes to which their first education disposed them, what else is to be concluded from this, but that you first make thieves and then punish them.” ~ Sir Thomas More, Utopia, Book 1; English author, courtier, humanist, & saint (1478 – 1535)

My friend, Moya, sent me this quote after reading my last few posts about empowerment and forging our own paths forward. In light of those posts, she thought I’d love the quote above (and I do!) She went on to say, “To me, it’s not about crime but a more general life lesson. If you create a system that encourages a certain outcome, then expect that certain outcome to occur. [If you don’t like a system], tear it down and create a new one – emotionally speaking.” Truer words have never been said.

Helping returning veterans, their families, and caregivers
There are a number of systems that I want to tear up. One of them is the way that we treat, or rather don’t treat, returning veterans. 1/3 of them never receive any kind of care at all, while an additional 1/3 receive inadequate care. Families and caregivers of returning veterans have an even lower rate of care. I’m focusing Compass Yoga‘s efforts on returning vets, their families, and caregivers because of the tremendous need and because I personally understand how PTSD effects an individual and an entire family. I’m not out to help a handful of vets; I’m in this to build an entire system of wellness across the globe for them and the people who love them that provides preventative care and treatment after they return from service.

Traditional yoga studios
Another system that really irks me is the traditional yoga studio model. I’ve written about this pet peeve of mine before, and it’s such a big problem that it’s worthy of repeating. Yoga studio expenses are high and fixed, while the revenue is entirely variable from day-to-day. To compensate for a broken economic model, many studios have started teacher training programs that cost an average of $2500 – $3000. This is the bread and butter of their business. Would-be teachers trustingly hand over that money without full comprehension of how difficult it is to teach yoga as a full-time job, particularly in a city as expensive as New York. The yoga studios know this of course, but most (not all) don’t pass on the information honestly because they don’t want to scare away people from signing up for teacher training. It’s a sick cycle.

In part, this system led me to go in an entirely different direction with Compass Yoga, focusing on its therapeutic application in mental health and incorporating medical research. It also led me to explore nonprofit incorporation and to pursue several other avenues that I’m still doggedly working on. I’m not out to just build a nice little sustainable organization. I’m in this to build out a new business model for delivering wellness for the whole person. This wasn’t the only path I could have taken, though it is the right one for me.

Some things need tearing down
Moya’s thoughts on Sir Thomas More are right on target. If we allow a system to persist, or worse yet – knowingly participate in a busted system, then we are to blame for the disappointing results. System building is difficult work, though the alternative of working in a crummy system with equally crummy results is much harder to live with. Destruction is often the first step in the creative process. Tear down what gives you pain, and start fresh.

choices, courage, design, determination, dreams

Beginning: Be an Invisionary

Christa Avampato

“Vision is the art of seeing the invisible.” ~ Jonathan Swift

“My favorite place is my imagination.” ~ ME

Every once in a while, I get a real fire under me. I’m not sure where it comes from, though it’s almost always linked to something I read like this quote by Jonathan Swift. And when this fire gets going, I feel the need to crack open my laptop and get this all down because I’m certain that the words I’m about to think are the words that someone somewhere needs to hear, right now at this very moment.

It’s easy to see what is right in front of us. What’s more difficult, though ultimately more rewarding, is to imagine what could be and bring it into being. There’s much talk in the business world about leaders of companies who are “visionaries”, and in business that has largely meant people who see the current situation with a slight twist that vastly improves value. Minimal work for a lot of pay off. There’s nothing wrong with that at all – masters of the 80 / 20 rule, they have been able to steer the companies they run through our economic storms of late.

Though I appreciate the work of visionaries, the people who really inspire me, who really impress me and motivate me, are invisionaries – people who see a whole new way of being to improve their own lot and that of others. They see things that have never even been thought of, much less acted upon. They attack challenges that most people run from. They look at big problems in the world and rather than turning a blind eye, stand firmly rooted into the ground and say, “I can make this better.” They are people of action, people who don’t hesitate. They don’t need all the answers, they just need the next step. They’ll gladly pave the road as they travel it. In actuality, they prefer it that way.

This is who I’m trying to be with the mission of Compass Yoga – an invisionary – and it’s what I want for all of you, too. I don’t want us to be limited by what’s here in front of us. I want us to tear down the walls we see in our lives. Climb over them, plow through them, dig your way underneath if you have to. Need a boost? Let me know, and I’ll gladly offer it up. Just get out there, and live the life you really want.

I know this work isn’t easy. I’m asking a lot of myself, and I’m asking a lot of you, too. And here’s why – there a lot of people who are going to tell you, “You must do X because long ago you decided to do Y.” These people will tell you that no matter what you want to do, you just can’t. Maybe these people are your family, your friends, your neighbors, your co-workers, or your boss. I want you to thank them for their opinions and then turn the volume on them off. I’m here to be the voice that tells you to roll the dice; the only thing you have to lose is regret for not living the life you want.

It’s tough to get people to see the world through your mind’s eye; don’t blame them. Many people are not invisionaries, and have no desire to be. They will plod along and be just fine. The people who do something really extraordinary with their lives, who make a difference, are the ones who are in this game every day courageously weaving the fabric of their own lives and the lives of those they want to help. Hold that as your ideal, your model.

Don’t take no for an answer. Open every window, swing open every door, and when all else fails get out your chisel and hammer and make your own way out of the box and into the light. If we can live like this, then we can live lives by our own designs. And what could be more gratifying than that?!

celebration, choices, clarity, courage

Beginning: You Already Have What You’re Looking For

Christa Avampato

“What we see is mainly what we look for.” -Unknown via Tiny Buddha

I recently had a conversation with someone who said nothing ever goes her way. She’s been way down in the dumps for years. I have my occasional bad day, perhaps even a bad week. By all means, feel your feelings. Just make sure that the negative ones that don’t help make your situation any better have a hard expiration date.

How to “snap out of it” (without a smack in the face a la Moonstruck)
If my bad mood persists beyond a few days, I force myself to get out my computer and start clacking away on a list of great blessings I have to be grateful for. And if that doesn’t work then I turn to the news and start taking note of all the people in the world who have a much harder life than I do. It’s not long before I’m kicking myself for wasting any precious moment feeling sorry for myself. I lead a charmed life – I work for it, and still I know so many of my blessings found their way to my door by chance. As Joan Ganz Cooney famously said, “I am always prepared to be lucky.” It’s the best way to live.

We all get what we settle for
My friend, Trevin, and I continuously joke that we are the kind of people who hope for the best and expect the worst. To a large extent, I think that is still true. I like to feel prepared for whatever this crazy world throws my way. One of my business school professors once commented to me that the secret to his happy life was low expectations, which led him to constantly be surprised and delighted. I have a hard time arguing that idea from a logical point-of-view. However, the yogi and teacher in me asks that I aim higher. Disappointment while upsetting at first does lead to transformation and growth, two things I aspire to do all the time.

Exactly what you want is already at hand
A truth I’ve come to know is that the more ardently you keep your eyes and ears peeled for what (and who!) you want in your life, the more likely you are to recognize it when it crosses your path. It’s true of love, friendship, career, luck, and hope. It’s quite possible that you can will the life you want into being the life you have. It’s more likely that the life you want is already accessible to you in some way if you pick your head up, take look around, and grab the opportunities right under your nose.

Seek, and you will truly see all that is attainable.

books, career, courage, encouragement, experience, leader, leadership

Beginning: You Have All the Power You Need

Christa Avampato

“New seed is faithful. It roots deepest in the places that are most empty…And so it came to be that over time this field, opened by burning – this field, fallow and waiting – drew just the right strangers, just the right seeds to itself. What is this faithful process of spirit & seed that touches empty ground and makes it rich again? Whatever we set our days to might be the least of what we do, if we do not understand that something is waiting for us to make ground for it, something that lingers near us, something that loves, something that waits for the right ground to be made so it can make its full presence known.” ~ Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes

I read Dr. Estes book Women Who Run with the Wolves many years ago. It remains a faithful guide all of these years later. Its pages are well-worn and yellowed. I regularly read its opening passage, particularly when I’m afraid and lonely. It’s stories quite literally began to shape the person I am today. They empowered me to realize that I can carve my own road toward a future of my design.

So it was with great excitement that I discovered that Dr. Estes had written another book, this one a novela entitled The Faithful Gardener: A Wise Tale About That Which Can Never Die. I read it in one sitting. Dr. Estes tells the tale of her Uncle who got to the end of his rope and wanted to take his power back. He set a field aflame as an invitation for new life to seed there.

In our lives, we collect clutter. Relationships that no longer serve. A job that no longer interests us. Commitments that no longer provide fulfillment. Slowly, drop by drop, our lives sometimes become something we never wanted them to be. This can leave us feeling paralyzed, regretful, and embarrassed.

This is exactly the myth that Dr. Estes dispels by sharing her Uncle’s story with us in The Faithful Gardner. One day last week, I arrived at a meditation class feeling powerless and through the meditation realized that the only one taking away my power was me. Dr. Estes explains this same principle in her book – we are all more powerful than we give ourselves credit for being.

This same idea reared its head over the weekend as I watched the documentary Stress: Portrait of a Killer. In several scientific studies, it has been found that if you perceive yourself at the bottom of the pecking order in life then your health and longevity are severely compromised. If you want to live a happy, healthier, longer life, it is critical that you find an outlet that allows you to feel in control of your own destiny. And that outlet doesn’t have to be your career or household. You could be the captain of your softball team, the leader of a charitable project, or a responsible dog owner. Somewhere in your life you need to have the opportunity to take the reigns, and if that’s not happening naturally in your life by some wonderful twist of fate, then you need to make it happen for yourself.

There’s no reason to play the victim. We all have the ability to build better lives, for ourselves and for those around us. You don’t need more schooling or experience or permission. It is yours for the taking. The only question is courage and confidence. Can you stand up and be counted? Will you make your voice heard? Can you release everything in your life that doesn’t benefit you for the sake of making room for something that truly matters? Your life literally depends on it.

choices, courage, decision-making, work, yoga

Beginning: No Need For Fear When You’re on the Path

Christa Avampato

“I am not afraid…I was born to do this.” ~ Joan of Arc via @FamousWomen

A few weeks ago, I wrote about a small message I have been starting to hear during my meditations. It seemed to have some sense of urgency though I couldn’t quite interpret the message. I spoke with my life coach, Brian, about it and he assured me that when the message was ready, it would surface. When I needed to act, it would spur me to do what I needed to do.

For some time, I’ve been contemplating some changes in my life, on the career front and on the personal front. In the past few months I’ve been increasingly clear about want to use yoga as a therapeutic practice in situation where yoga is not typically utilized, mainly in hospitals and treatment facilities of one kind or another. On Monday morning, though I woke up with a terribly sore throat, my head was clearer than it’s been in weeks. And that little message I was hearing in my meditation was no longer far away, but right beside me. “Now is the time.”

1.) Yoga – By a wonderful spell of synchronicity, I found two trainings coming up in New York City that I’d like to do.

One at Integral Yoga Institute that focuses on Yoga Therapy, taught by the incredible Cheri Clampett and Arturo Peal. Cheri is the Founder of the White Lotus Foundation in Santa Barbara and a pioneer in using yoga as part of a holistic treatment plan for cancer patients.

It’s time to take the next step in my overall yoga teacher training and pursue my 500-hour qualification. After doing a lot of research and asking a lot of questions, I’m nearly settled on applying to study with Alan Finger at ISHTA, which has a very strong focus on yoga for therapeutic purposes.

I’ll also be attending the Integrative Healthcare Symposium at the New York Hilton on Friday. There I will have the chance to connect with a number of people involved in the integrative healthcare movement, of which yoga plays a very important role.

2.) New professional pursuits – For some time I’ve considered taking some decisive action to take my career in a new direction. After months of teetering between the choice of whether to play it safe or step out of the box, I’ve decided to begin the process of leaving the box behind. More to come as that journey progresses. As soon as I have a solid sense of where that journey leads, you’ll be the first to know!

3.) Be open to a life that’s less structured – This is another message that’s been popping up for me. Increasingly, many of the people I know are breaking out of a traditional work lifestyle. Some going freelance, some becoming consultants, and some taking a variety of contract positions rather than the more traditional day job route. It’s intriguing, a little scary, though I don’t know a single one of them who’s unhappy with this less structured life. Maybe that will be the route for me, too.

There isn’t any fear admist these upcoming changes because I know they’re the right ones for me. Joan of Arc knew what she was talking about.

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