Category: change

change, humor

Step 135: Laughter Makes a Difference

Christa Avampato

“If you laugh – you change; and when you change – the world changes.” ~ Shilpa Shah

I don’t care what people say about TV – I love it. When I was feeling badly about my job, I watched The Office as often as possible. Even re-runs. My boss at the time reminded me of Michael Scott. The Office made it easier for me to go to work in the morning while I found another job. Laughing changed my perspective.

I’ve experienced this same phenomenon when a friend cheers me up after a tough day or when someone emails me a joke or a funny story right when I need it. Yoga puts a smile on my face after I get through a rigorous class. My niece does something hilarious like see the space shuttle take off and say, “Look, Mommy. Fireworks.” If we look closely, there is no end to the hilarity of life.

Laughter changes the lens through which we see the world. And once we can see the world differently, we can see our role in the world differently. And once we see our role differently, we find a way to make a difference.

The image above was found here.

career, change, choices, faith

Step 134: The Life Waiting For Us

Christa Avampato

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” ~ Joseph Campbell

I walked to the subway last night with a friend of mine from yoga class. She asked me how I got so interested in so many things, which lead to us talking about the idea of life paths. I went to school with a lot of people who were on a straight and narrow road. It must be nice to have that consistency. Surprise is the constant in my life.

When I started college, I was going to be a civil engineer. And then I became a history / economics majors. After a brief stint on Capitol Hill as a legislative aide, I made a career in Broadway theatre, which eventually took me into fundraising, followed by business school. From business school, I started working in the innovation field at a toy company and now I’m a product developer in financial services, on the verge of starting my own social enterprise around my impending yoga teacher certification. I’ve moved to a new home almost once a year since I was 18 – which was a long time ago. Such a linear path, right?!

At a job interview, a VP once looked at my resume and said, “Wow. sounds like you’ve done a lot of exploring.” He didn’t mean this as a compliment. Smiling, I replied, “Yes. Yes, I have.” I did get the job, despite his disapproval of my life path. He was also a very unhappy, lazy man who was let go shortly after he interviewed me. I guess being an explorer pays off in the long-run.

Truth be told, I was always out there in the world looking for opportunity and very often I found it. While some people worry about taking too many turns, I hang on and enjoy the ride. I’ve met so many fascinating people, traveled, and done everything I always wanted to do. It is a charmed life, but one I did not plan. I was just always prepared to be lucky and happy.

Sometimes I had to let go of the life I had for the promise of adventure. I had to trust that the opportunities before me were meant for me, that my life was out of my hands to a certain degree. And while it sounds scary to say that, it doesn’t feel at all scary to live it. Control is an illusion.

Whenever I was ready to leap, somehow I grew wings. Whenever I was ready to climb, there was some gentle hand that helped me rise. The life I was meant for was always waiting for me to just show up and be there and live it. So that’s what I do: I just show up, try to be present, and smile, and laugh, and learn, and trust that where I am at every moment is where I am supposed to be.

adventure, books, change, yoga

Step 126: Reflection on The Bhagavad Gita

Christa Avampato

“As a man adorns worn-out clothes and acquires new ones, so when the body is worn out a new one is acquired by the Self, who lives within.” ~ 2:22, The Bhagavad Gita

“The awakened sages call a person wise when all his undertakings are free from anxiety about results; all his selfish desires have been consumed in the fire of knowledge. The wise…have abandoned all external supports.” ~ 3:19, The Bhagavad Gita

For my yoga teacher training class, we needed to read The Bhagavad Gita, the most famous poem in Hindu literature. It was powerful read for me. While many of our readings in the class focus on calm and steadiness, The Bhagavad Gita is a guide to action, authentic action.

On Labor Day weekend in 2009, my apartment building caught fire. I was almost trapped inside and only by following my intuition was I able to get out in time. Most of my belongings were lost to extensive smoke damage. September 5, 2009 was a kind of death date for me; a date when stripped of almost all my material possessions (my “worn-out clothes”), I realized that none of it mattered at all. I stood outside in a t-shirt, shorts, and flip-flops, holding nothing but my keys (which were now useless), watching my apartment building burn. Looking back, I think of that day as a day when I stepped out of my old, worn-out Self, and into a new frame. I still don’t know what the art inside this new frame will look like just yet. I’m a work-in-progress.

Verse 2:22 in The Bhagavad Gita resonated with me, as does that image of Shiva the Destroyer dancing in a ring of fire. Sometimes we get in the way of our own personal development. We get bogged down with belongings, material and emotional. We need not stand on a burning platform, literally nor figuratively, to recognize that change is needed. Yoga can be the practice that helps us recognize our truth, our purpose, our dharma.

Verse 3:19 speaks directly to the danger that surfaces when we get lost in the demands of our society, demands that others put upon us that do not align with our own personal truths. After my fire and after studying these simple words laid down in The Bhagavad Gita, I’ve come to believe that being “results-oriented” and “goal-driven” cause us to miss so much of life. To be shooting for the result, while remaining blind to each step leading to that result, denies us the beauty of practicing the yama asteya, nonstealing. Yes, where we’re going is important, and it is equally, if not more important, to be mindful of how we’re getting there. If we miss the journey, we deny ourselves the wonder and joy of the act of discovery.

Bearing this sentiment in mind, I read The Bhagavad Gita as if it were a map, laying out a method of living whose goal is boundless freedom. And from that freedom all good things come – kindness toward others because we no longer see them as competitors but partners; justice because we recognize in realizing our own freedom that all people everywhere have the right to be free; peace because all we’re really fighting for is our own self-discovery which doesn’t involve any type of harm to another being.

Several years ago, I read a book called Women Who Run with the Wolves. Although the actual words and anecdotes are different, the message is the same as the one delivered to us by The Bhagavad Gita around the question “How do we acquire freedom and mastery of the mind?” The answer in Women Who Run with the Wolves: “crawl through the window of a dream.” The window may be small. Undoubtedly, we will have to leave things behind in order to continue our journey through it. We may wonder why on earth we have to struggle so much, why we should even try at all when the big room full of our belongings that we currently live in is really just fine.

No matter how much we love our current room, that window will not be ignored. It will continue to stare at us until we take up the challenge of crossing over. Through that tiny little frame, lies Samadhi, enlightenment. The only thing stopping us from getting there is our courage, our own belief in our abilities to make the journey at all. Arjuna struggled with this same quest, just as we struggle with it. We’re all in this together, across the globe, across the centuries. The struggle does not change; we have to change. The only way forward is through.

The image above is not my own. It can be found here.

career, change, work

Step 124: Biding Time Wisely

Christa Avampato

I’ve recently had some conversations with friends who are considering making career jumps. Some to a new industry, some to a new company, and some into their own ventures. A few are actively out there looking and some are wondering if they should hang around where they are until they see some more improvement in the economy.

One of my friends has taken a new position within her company that is going to help her transition out to another company when the time is right. She’s interested in tech venture capital. Her former role was tech heavy, and her new role is in business development. While getting this second piece of the puzzle in place, she’s also started a tech venture capital club as part of her business school’s alumni network. She’s biding her time while gaining incredibly valuable experience in segments and making contacts that will serve her well in her career.

This is what it’s all about – gathering the bits and pieces we can find to help us build a brighter future. Even if we’re in jobs that aren’t perfect, there are activities, role, and projects we can take on inside and outside of the office that will keep us moving forward, even while we look before we leap. I’m all for taking the plunge, but while I’m up here on the cliff, I’m also a fan of making sure I’ve squeezed every last drop of value from my current view.

I’d love to hear about how you’re biding your time in support of your long-term goals!

The image above is not my own. It can be found here.

change, choices, decision-making

Step 107: Irons in the Fire

Christa Avampato

I got a chance to catch up with my friend, Amy, today. She is one of my dearest friends and will be visiting New York soon. She’s about to transition out of her current job and isn’t sure what will come next. Amy’s considering a number of different paths as she winds down from a wonderful job she’s had for the past four years. I’m so excited to see how everything plays out for her.

We talked about the need to put a lot of irons in the fire when we’re in the midst of change. When I was considering my next career move a few months ago, I applied to a PhD program, applied to a yoga teacher training programming, looked inside my current company at a number of positions, and started to look at external jobs as well. I explored every possibility that seemed interesting, and I ended up moving forward into a yoga teacher training program and finding a new job at my current company that I love where I can leverage all of my interests, from social media to technology to innovation. Exploring a lot of different options made the possibility of finding a combo I really wanted all the more likely. I found a little luck along the way and was dedicated to having my next move be one that really made me happy. Having options, and giving myself the freedom to consider all of them without being wed to one single path, was a key component for my next successful jump.

Our lives seem to move in concentric circles, Amy and I. It’s probably why we’ve been such good friends for so many years. I know her next step is going to yield a glorious new beginning because she’s worked so hard for so long and because she’s not afraid to live her life in many different directions. I’m glad I can be there to cheer her on.

change, home

Step 106: Away We Go or Do We Stay?

Christa Avampato

This week I’ve been thinking about home. Not just the physical place where we live, but the place that becomes part of our identity. The place where we belong and the place that belongs to us.

I watched the movie Away We Go on my friend, Rob’s, recommendation. It was his favorite movie of 2009 so I dropped it into my Netflix queue. It’s a sweet story about two people who are about to start a family and want to find the perfect place to live. They trek across the country and up to Montreal. Eventually they end up in a place that neither of them ever imagined being the perfect place because they’d been there before. And there it was. Perfect, and so easy.

This week was the series finale of Ugly Betty. I became a fan late in the series, and really ended up loving the kitschy, wink-wink-nudge-nudge humor. What I really loved was Betty’s desire to try to do the right thing, work hard, and follow her heart. In the end of the series, her heart lead her to a tough decision to make a new home, even when staying where she’d always been was a good deal, too.

In Real Simple Magazine this month, I read a story about a couple whose newly renovated home caught fire. They considered moving to Bali, rebuilding the house they had lost, and everything in-between. Eventually, they stayed on their property and developed a very unique new home from two structures that they had never considered turning into a house. It was in the same place, but an entirely new idea of home.

I guess sometimes we can go home again, sometimes we’re better off making our own way, far away, and other times, we can stay where we are and make it new again. I traveled a lot in my 20’s and moved around all the time. Now I’m nearly 3 years in to my 3rd return to New York. I haven’t lived in any one city for this long since I was 18 years old. I’m glad to be making a little nest of my own, and I have to admit that from time to time I wonder if there will be another home chapter after NYC or if I’m really here to stay.

I’d love to hear your perspectives on the idea home.

The image above is not my own. It can be found here.

change, learning, nature

Step 78: Lessons from Winter

Christa Avampato

I’m ready to say good-bye to Winter. I’m not someone who dreads the cold – I actually enjoy it. I like sweaters and boots and jeans. I like the snow and the look of the Winter sky. I like cocooning. Johanna, one of yoga teachers, was quick to remind us that without Winter, there can be no spring; without death there is no rebirth.

So while it was my first inclination to kick Winter to the curb, I realized that wasn’t a good idea. Winter deserves a proper good-bye. Maybe even a thanks. I learned a lot this winter. Tough lessons, yes, but ones that were so necessary. Lessons that I would live a lesser life without.

Lessons from Winter:
1.) We all have limits. Acknowledging them gives us the opportunity to challenge ourselves and improve our decision-making, thereby increasing our levels of happiness in the long-run.
2.) There’s no glory in having every minute of free time packed to the gills; spontaneity brings great joy.
3.) It’s okay to sit with loss; it’s okay to feel a little empty; it’s okay to have room in our lives because room offers the chance for new beginnings.
4.) “I don’t know” is not a declaration of weakness; it’s the very beginning of something that will come to be.

So long winter, and thank you for teaching me in spite of the difficulty of the task. Because of you, my Spring and Summer is now set to be far happier than they would have been without you. I’ll see you in December, when I’m sure you’ll arrive with even more lessons that I will undoubtedly need. Next time, I’ll be a more willing student.

The image above is not my own. It can be found here.

change, Spring

Step 66: Spring is on the Way

Christa Avampato

“Expect to have hope rekindled. Expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways. The dry seasons in life do not last. The spring rains will come again.” ~ Sarah Ban Breathnach

My friend, Amanda, got me interested in a daily blog called hip tranquil chick. It’s written by Amanda’s yoga teacher from her time in D.C. The quote above appeared today in the newsletter with the following question: “How would you like to emerge this Spring?”

This weekend New York City received the gift of 50 degree weather and buckets of sunshine. It was a little nippy in the shade, though those few afternoon hours that comprise the warmest parts of the day gave us a hint of what’s in store for Spring. I turned my face up to the sun today, and it felt like that was the first time we’d ever met.

I took myself over to Riverside Park. When it’s nice outside, I spend hours there watching the soccer leagues practice, reading a book, and listening to my ipod. I like to watch the world go by in that tiny corner of space. I heard snippets of conversations, watched friends and lovers and families pass by laughing, and secretly I held a tiny bit of jealousy for all the dog owners enjoying life with their canine pals. At that point I reminded myself that this summer I’m going to over to the local ASPCA to rescue a pup of my own.

As I looked out over the Hudson, I thought about that question, “How would I like to emerge this Spring?” And then very quickly the answer that followed was, “I don’t know.” I was reminded of my yoga teacher, Johanna, when she described how she came to yoga 6 years ago. She had been through a rough time, and her career as a dancer had ended due to an injury. She came to yoga for answers, and at first the only answer she found was, “I don’t know.” But in that unknown, she had the opportunity to re-invent herself, to re-invent her career and her place in the world. Within “I don’t know” there is a great freedom that exists. We open ourselves up to the world, to all of the energy around us, taking it in, and giving it the chance to transform our hearts and minds. Who knows what lies around the bend as Spring approaches.

I smiled at this thought of the unknown, of the treasures that lie in wait once our friend, Spring, arrives in full-force. I’m not sure how I will emerge or how my life will change once the buds are on the trees and the daffodils make their way to the surface of the gardens in Riverside Park. I do know that whatever those changes are, I will be ready to receive them, smiling.

change, decision-making

Step 61: Valiant Struggles

Christa Avampato

“You, too, God willing, will be 65 some day–and when you look back it’s never the easy times that pop up in the viewfinders; it’s the valiant struggles and adversities suffered and occasionally overcome that fill the highlights tape.” ~ Tom Peters

Memory is a funny thing. It’s amazing what will surface at specific times, without us even actively asking it to make an appearance in our minds:
– This morning I woke up thinking of our family dog who we had to put down in September. I thought about how hard that day was and also how grateful it made me we for his love all those years.
– For a few weeks I’ve had dozens of conversations about relationships – the good, the bad, and the ugly. After a string of recent ones that didn’t end so well, I realized that finally I think I’m ready to find one that really works for me and becomes a blessing in my life.
– Occasionally, I will be walking around my neighborhood and still imagine the event that would have unfolded if I hadn’t gotten out of my burning apartment building exactly at the moment when I did.
– September of 2009 will forever be a month that I remember as one long struggle that I survived.

Struggles and their after-effects can play out in two ways: they can be things that send us spiraling down into misery or they can become the hour of our greatest teaching. It’s a choice. Our choice. Yes there’s a grieving period and it may be far longer and more filled with despair than we’d like it be. Eventually we have to decide to stay down or stand up and start over. Pain can be a powerful motivator to transform our lives in ways that we wouldn’t without its prompting. Struggles can be valiant.

change, choices, decision-making

Step 51: Fixing Broken Systems

Christa Avampato

“True compassion is more than flinging a coin to a beggar; it comes to see that an edifice which produces beggars needs restructuring.” ~ Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Band-aid solutions are tempting options. They tend to be inexpensive, fairly easy to implement, and make us feel like we’re doing something good for the world. The trouble is that they are temporary fixes that soon need to be replaced, reworked, or repaired, often at a higher cost in time, dollars, and effort than the first band-aid solution, and all the while, the original problem we were trying to remedy gets further out of hand underneath.

Fixing root causes can be tiring work. It’s almost always expensive, and it usually requires a good deal of risk and a whole lot of courage. However, it’s the only fix that is truly a fix and solves a problem rather than covering it up.

This week I’ve been thinking about root causes for challenges that concern me. Some of these challenges, in order to really be overcome, are going to take significant action on my part. I can’t take care of all of them, at least not all at once. Now comes the critical step of deciding which fixes are worth doing and which fixes are better left to someone else.

I’m staring at the Magic 8 Ball of my life and asking “where do I start” and for some issues it says, “ask again later”. Right now there may be no clear cut action plan and so rather than develop a band-aid solution just so I feel like I’m making progress, I will have to let some of the challenges persist until a clear way through, even if it is a difficult path, emerges. Fixing broken systems require action, and it also requires patient inquiry. It is a great balancing act between the two.

The image above is not my own. It can be found here.