After 36 hours in D.C. for our second 6-month club – a semi-annual get-together with my classmates from business school – I am compelled to think about friendship on the Amtrak train home. The power of it, the necessity of it, and what it means to call someone my friend.
Author: Christa Avampato
How do you know when you’re done?
For the first time on this blog, I am writing from my Blackberry. Now that the full internet is always in my pocket, I have no excuse for not writing everday on this blog. The formatting may not be pretty, but I hope to keep the wit and insight constant despite this very tiny keyboard. Luckily I have tiny fingers. What I would really love is a peripheral full-size foldable keyboard that plugs right into my Blackberry. Maybe I need to contact the innovation head honcho at Blackberry and make that request.Now onto the topic of the day: knowing when you’re done.
With all of the demands placed on employees at work these days, it’s easy to understand how they are staying at work longer, physically and or virtually. In this economy, endless preparation is the name of the game for many. However, similar to student exam preparation, there is a point of diminishing returns. It’s similar to that old pithy line of “How can I ever miss you if you never go away?” Too much of a good thing is, well, no longer a good thing. This is true of almost everything in life, work included.
But with employees being pushed by managers in so many ways, how are we supposed to know when to call it quits? We could always do more, so how do we judge that fine line where more is less?
My dear friend, Ben, is a successful defense attorney. And because his expertise is criminal defense, he must be 100% prepared for every argument that could get thrown his way by the prosecution. Despite the fact that we recite the principle “innocent until proven guilty”, we rarely live it. I mean did anyone for a single moment believe that the “masterminds” at Bear Stearns were innocent before tried? I certainly didn’t, though I am a self-admitted hopeful cynic.
Ben has a very cool barometer of knowing when he’s done prepping for a case. It’s so good I considered stealing it as my own original thought for a very brief moment. Then I remembered I would be stealing from a highly-educated, best in class attorney who’s truly one of the most brilliant people I have ever met. Despite his humility and generosity, stealing IP from him seems unwise. And on occassion he reads this blog, so I would surely be caught. So please consider him fully-credited for this idea: prepare until your nervousness gives way to bordem. That’s the point at which all of your best thinking and lightbulb moments are exhausted.
So for today here is my own version of Letterman’s top 10 list – the top signs that I’m bored (aka – how I know when I’m just over it all):
10.) I begin to think about when I’m going to eat next
9.) I begin making multiple to-do lists in my head that have nothing to do with what’s in front of me
8.) I start humming audibly
7.) I start looking at my watch every 30 seconds
6.) I start thinking about how spot-on Tina Fey’s impression of Sarah Palin is
5.) I begin to wonder about the opportunity cost of doing what’s in front of me rather than doing something more “fun”
4.) I feel a nap coming on (even though I have chronic insomnia)
3.) Watching cartoons seems like a better use of my time
2.) Thinking I’d rather clean my bathroom than do the work in front of me.
1.) I realize I haven’t been paying attention to anything that the person in front of me has said for the past 10 minutes.
March of Dimes Petition for Preemies
My friends over at the March of Dimes have put together a campaign to address the health and well-being of the tiniest members of our communities. They put up a beautiful post on their website and I want to share it with all of you:
My best friend just gave birth to her first child – a baby girl named Milana. I can’t tell you how excited I am to share in my best friend’s happiness! But to be honest, I’m also a little nervous. That’s because Milana was born prematurely, and babies who are born preterm face special health risks.
Milana isn’t alone. In the U.S., 1 in 8 babies are born prematurely. In fact, more newborns die from premature birth than any other cause. That’s why I signed the March of Dimes Petition for Preemies.
The Petition for Preemies will help give all babies a healthy start by putting public officials – and all Americans – on notice that it’s time to focus on the growing problem of premature birth.
Show your support by joining thousands of other moms in signing thePetition for Preemies. If you’re a blogger, write a post about this issue or put our purple widget or button on your blog. Get information about how you can help more babies come into the world healthy.
Thankfully, Milana is home now and doing just fine. Let’s help more moms have healthy babies!
Want to lend a hand in the effort? Sign the petition:http://www.marchofdimes.com/padpetition/index.aspx?a=1&z=1&c=1&l=en
Taking stock of what I’ve got
This month, Real Simple Magazine ran a column by author Merrill Markoe who wrote the books Walking In Circles Before Lying Down and The Psycho Ex Game. Hmmm…I don’t recall ever meeting her though it appears that she has her finger on the pulse of my life. Most of my ex-boyfriends aren’t psychos per say, though a few of them have turned out to be so odd in the end that I am left scratching my head, wondering what I ever saw in them. But I digress…
Cupcakes for a Cause
That delightful time of year has arrived again: the leaves are changing, the air is crisp, and we can stuff our faces with the sweet, yummy goodness of cupcakes while doing some good in the world. The annual celebration of Cupcakes for a Cause kicked off today to benefit Cancercare for Kids. For the remainder of this week you can help the organization by picking up the goods at local bakeries around the country, all conveniently listed by state on the causes’s website.
Watching your diet? No problem. For every e-cupcake you send through the site, $1 will be donated to the charity, up to a cap of $10,000. You have some controlled functionality to design your own virtual cupcake or choose from a selection of beautiful stock designs. I’ve been happily sending them out this evening to family and friends and it’s almost as much fun as baking them myself.
So what are you waiting for? No time like the present to gobble up some cupcake goodness and help a worthwhile charity, all in one delicious bite.
Growing by Shrinking
We’re in the midst of watching our economy contract. These are frightening times, uncertain times for many people. I was inspired by Nicholas Kristof’s column this week as he attempted to find a bright spot in all the gloom that is filling our news channels and our own minds. I was flipping through Business Week and saw an ad for IBM with the following headline in bold type: “Sometimes Growing Starts With Shrinking”. How can we connect Kristof’s ideas and the IBM ad?
A Letter to My Younger Self
I just finished reading “What Now?” by Ann Pachett. It is her graduation speech to the students of Sarah Lawrence, her alma mater. She talks about crossroads and decisions and happy coincidences. It made me think about a book I read about two years ago called “What I Know Now: Letter to My Younger Self” where a variety of women write letters to themselves when they were younger.
I wrote my own letter to my younger self as part of a final project in business school for a leadership class. I realized I’ve never posted it to this blog, and I went back to read it today. Not only is it a letter to my younger self – it’s a good reminder of how I should be living every day. The letter pertains to many of the principles we learned in the class, the main premise being that if you start every day with 94 out of 100 points, the way a gymnast starts every routine, how will you get to 100? This idea is adapted from Peter Vidmar’s, part of the US Olympic gymnastics team in the 1980’s, motivational speeches that he gives all over the world.
I hope you’ll share your letter here as well.
“Dear Bella,
How are you going to get the other 6? Extend for 2. Take risks for another 2. Be creative to get to 100. Decide what about you remains rock solid and what changes you must make if you are to develop the potential you represent. What really matters?
Denial, passivity, collusion, and habits will try to obstruct your path to change. Work through these phases by trusting life, by trusting that when a door closes, a window opens. Change is about loss. It may be years before you understand why some losses are necessary in order to achieve greater wins down the road. Do not fear – help is on the way. Do not wait for trauma, hurt, or pain to make necessary changes; work toward clearly perceiving a better way.
Disappointment is not the fault of others; it is the result of your own premature cognitive commitment. Don’t be so quick to ignore or dismiss the logs and rocks. Understanding their motivations, or lack thereof, will hold the key to your growth.
Be wary of the boxes: those you put yourself in, those you put others in, those others put you in, and those you allow others to put you in. You must decide which boxes hold your truth.
What vision of the future will sustain you through the valleys of your life and then help you climb to the summits? You choose your energy level, enthusiasm, and sense of hopefulness. Trust is gained by behaving trustworthy.
Eliminate “but” from your vocabulary because everything that comes before it is a lie; replace it with the powerful word “and”.
People will tell you that you feel too much, trust too much, and believe in dreams too much. Smile at them and walk on – feeling, trusting, and believing. Because you feel, you think, and therefore you’re unabashedly, delightfully, and magically exactly who you’re meant to be.
Believing is seeing.
Love,
Christa”
Blog Action Day
It’s arrived – Blog Action Day 2008 when thousands of bloggers band together to talk about a single issue. This year, the issue is poverty. I do a lot of community service and one of my favorite places to serve, literally and figuratively, is the University Soup Kitchen.
Knowledge for free – courtesy of Apple
I might be a little late to the party on this one, though I am so excited I finally showed up. To iTunes U, that is. My friend, Janet, has made fun of me more than once about my addiction to school. I’m one of those people who takes notes at a museum exhibit – my friend, Steve, was glad to point out how completely weird this behavior is when we were at The Whitney several months ago. It’s true. I am an education addict (read: nerd). I’ve always been this way and truly, I’ve learned to embrace my nerdiness with wild abandon.
Getting quiet
I am a long-time subscriber to Yoga Journal. I read it cover to cover every month. One of my favorite sections is the 10 pose sequence that has a specific focus. This month, the focus is “Inviting Quiet”. What can I say? I like a challenge.