I tell wonder-filled stories about hope and healing
Wishing a very happy Mother’s Day to all of the moms out there and to all women who play a part in making the world a better place for others through their care, concern, and compassion. I’m grateful for the many mothers in my life, those who’ve supported me and encouraged me throughout my life. I wouldn’t be who I am without you. Thank you and enjoy the day!
When I was a kid, I loved Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood. I loved that he spent his day making people smile and using his imagination to help them learn. I especially loved that he transitioned his wardrobe when he got to work and before he went home.
It occurred to me that I do similar things with my job. I walk from my home through Rock Creek Park to my office in about 40 minutes. It’s a walking meditation really. I use the time to plan the day ahead and transition into work mode. I’m usually the first person there, and the first thing I do is put on my sweater and change into my work shoes. I spend the day with a fantastic team doing imaginative work to help children make the most of their potential.
Then when the day is done, I put my sweater away, change into my walking shoes, grab my backpack, and walk back home the way I came. I use the walk home to think about what I learned that day and to give thanks for the opportunity to do work that matters so much.
Mister Rogers taught me well. There’s something to be said for transition time, for having a dedicated place for work and play. I missed that time and space when I worked primarily from home. I’m grateful to have it back.
“True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.” ― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
So often we think that humility means self-deprecation or waving our hand when someone says that they appreciate something we’ve done or accomplished. I prefer C.S. Lewis’s definition. Let’s take it upon ourselves to use our many gifts and talents, not discredit them, to make the world better for all its inhabitants. Don’t spend any effort to dim your light. Spread it around. The world needs you at your best so serve it up.
“Forget mistakes, forget failures, forget everything, except what you’re going to do now and do it. Today is your lucky day.” ~Will Durant
The biggest roadblock to our own success is us. We doubt ourselves. We spend time and energy reviewing when we didn’t do something right or when something didn’t work out the way we wanted. We beat ourselves up. We take ourselves out of the running before we’ve even entered the race.
Here’s the tough love advice I give myself, and I mean it in the best possible way: get over yourself. Literally. You get out there right now, into the world that needs every ounce of your magic and talent, and get to work. The only thing that matters is what you do now.
You don’t need any more permission, advice, training, or ideas. You don’t need to spend any more time or money figuring things out. Just go for it, whatever it is, with everything you’ve got and you’ve got a lot. You’ve got you, and that’s all you need.
“A bad day for the ego is a good day for the soul.” ~David Brooks
I think of every day as either a glow or grow day: either I’m glowing with accomplishment or growing into a better person by learning from my mistakes. I try to take my bad days (and there are plenty of them) in stride. I don’t always do a stellar job of that. When things are rough, I want to crawl under the covers and wish it all away. But this glow or grow outlook does help me to try again tomorrow. It helps me to take my punches and use them to make myself stronger, more determined, and hopefully a little bit wiser, too. And in this way, every day is made into a good day.
When something really scares you, you only have two choices for your next move: run toward it or away from it. You either give it all you’ve got or give up with all you’ve got.
So how do you know which choice to make? It depends what’s on the other side of that fear. Is it something you really want? Then charge ahead. If it’s not, then it’s time to take your leave.
Don’t do something just because it scares you and you feel you need to conquer it. Do it because in the conquering of that fear, you can realize a dream. Fear can protect us or hold us back, and the only way to know the difference is to peek behind that fear and see what’s waiting for us.
“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.” ~Mark Twain
There’s comfort in numbers, in people telling you that you’re doing the right thing and that they couldn’t agree more with your decisions and ideas. But approval can be a dangerous trap. We can enjoy it so much and seek it out so often that we end up limiting our imagination and ability.
The best things I’ve done in life are the very things that people told me I was crazy to even consider, much less attempt. The things I regret are the things that everyone said I should do. If it weren’t for Mark Twain, I’d think that was just a strange coincidence. It’s not.
If ever we want to do something really new, truly breakthrough on a personal and / or professional level, we’ve got to do something a little crazy. We’re going to have to go well off the well-trodden path. People will shake their heads. They’ll sigh and say things like, “Well, if you think that’s the best thing to do…” while clearly conveying that they certainly don’t agree.
Those are the ideas to stick with. Those are the dreams to follow. You can’t hope for a new, better, happier, healthier, more fulfilling life. You have to build it. You have to move beyond the majority and the boxes they’ve defined. Go way outside the confines of comfort. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.
“Dead men are wisest, for they know
How far the roots of flowers go,
How long a seed must rot to grow.”
~ The Wise by Countee Cullen
There’s something to be said for everything falling apart, for not being able to hold something together no matter how much we try. We see it as failure, sadness, and loss. And if we can hang in there through the falling down, we find that on the other side of every kind of death—a dream, a relationship, a drastic change, and even the big death with a capital “D”—is a newness. Perhaps uncomfortable and maybe unwanted, but certainly a birth, a new way of being. Losing something we love, anything we love, is difficult and often painful. As someone who has lived through many deaths of every variety, I promise you there is life on the other side. Much to my surprise, that new life has always been better than the one that came before. Even the sad ones, even the ones I prayed would never happen. I grew from each one of those changes. I learned. I became a better person. More grateful, more aware. And that’s really the point of it all, isn’t it?
Miracles start as difficulties. If everything in your life was great, you’d never change. You’d never evolve and grow. You’d never have adventures that lead you to become the best version of yourself.
Adversity is difficult and painful. It’s also what helps us find and fulfill our potential. I wish life were easier. I wish we could just evolve without being pushed to do so. But that’s not how life works. It’s not how we work as wonderfully complex and complicated human beings.
Next time life is throwing you challenges, and in my experience that happens every day!, take a deep breath and gives thanks for them. They are leading you along the path that’s meant for you. Choose to rise up, over, through, and beyond them. Choose to let them make you strong, courageous, and wise. Choose to learn from them and not be broken down by them. They’re there for a reason, and in time that reason will come to light.
I firmly believe that curious, passionate, and determined people can learn anything to do any job. Character is much more important than resume bullets. This idea is rare in the job search and hiring processes, and I think that’s a shame.
A friend of mine who is abundantly talented told me the other day that she was worried that she wasn’t qualified for jobs that really interested her. To bolster her confidence, I said this: if corporate recruiters were in charge of placing the next President the same way that they place people in other jobs, Barack Obama would have never made it onto the short list much less gotten the job. In 2008, if we compared his resume and experience side-by-side with Hilary Clinton and John McCain, he wouldn’t have made it through the phone screen with HR. He made it to the highest office on grit, passion, intellect, and charisma. He rose by lifting all of us and inspiring us during a dark and frightening time. He was a junior senator who hadn’t even served a full term in the U.S. Senate, and that was his first federal office. He made it on character, not by his resume.
Politics aside, if Barack Obama can get into office and figure out how to do the job of President of the United State of America in the midst of the worst recession in our history (to name just one of his many incredible challenges), we can figure out how to do any job. Stop second-guessing your talents and abilities. Don’t take yourself out of the running by not applying to jobs that really interest you. Throw your hat in the ring, explain your passion and commitment to getting the job done, and go for it! It worked for Barack Obama during the highest of stakes. It can work for us, too.
