Tell me if this sounds familiar. You’re single: “When are you going to find someone?” In a relationship: “When are you getting married?” Married: “When are you having kids?” Divorced: “Just couldn’t make it work, huh?” Have a child: “When are you having a second?” Have multiple kids: “Well, forget about ever doing anything fun for the next 10 years.” I know this happens to women all the time. Maybe it happens to men, too. I can only speak from personal experience that this constantly happens to me.
Here’s what I know to be true: people are judging you every second of every day and it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. If you choose to live your life differently than others, if you make different choices, they assume that your life is somehow a judgement on theirs.
But here is the good news: you are being judged, many times unfairly, so you might as well live exactly the life that you want. Somewhere along the way in the development of our social norms, commenting on someone’s politics or religion became off-limits and commenting on someone’s love life remained hopelessly free game.
My advice to you (and to myself): if they are asking a respectful, tastefully worded question based in true curiosity, fabulous. Let’s have a conversation. You know someone I should meet, great. Please connect us.
However, if they are rudely passing judgement and making you feel small because of your circumstances and choices, then please, in no uncertain terms, walk away. They are not your work to do. I’m serious. You are a gorgeous, talented, stunning human being, and anyone who tries to belittle you because of your life choices doesn’t deserve your time.
Smile, get up, and walk away. You have better things to do and better people to do them with. Insults and rude behavior are never acceptable. In 2017, I hope we can all experience a greater sense of decorum in all of our interactions. In the meantime, go live your best life and leave those judgements right where they belong—with the people who make them.
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Published by Christa Avampato
The short of it:
Writer. Health, education, and art advocate. Theater and film producer. Visual artist. Product geek. Proud alumnae of the University of Pennsylvania (BA) and the Darden School of Business at the University of Virginia (MBA). Inspired by ancient wisdom & modern tech. Proliferator of goodness. Opener of doors. Friend to animals. Fan of creative work in all its wondrous forms. I use my business skills to create passion projects that build a better world. I’ve been called the happiest New Yorker, and I try hard to live up to that title every day.
The long of it:
My career has stretched across Capitol Hill, Broadway theatre, education, nonprofit fundraising, health and wellness, and Fortune 500 companies in retail, media, entertainment, technology, and financial services. I’ve been a product developer and product manager, theater manager, strategic consultant, marketer, voice over artist, , teacher, and fundraiser. I use my business and storytelling to support and sustain passion projects that build a better world. In every experience, I’ve used my sense of and respect for elegant design to develop meaningful products, services, programs, and events.
While building a business career, I also built a strong portfolio as a journalist, novelist, freelance writer, interviewer, presenter, and public speaker. My writing has appeared in The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, PBS.org, Boston.com, Royal Media Partners publications, and The Motley Fool on a wide range of topics including business, technology, science, health, education, culture, and lifestyle. I have also been an invited speaker at SXSW, Teach for America, Avon headquarters, Games for Change, NYU, Columbia University, Hunter College, and the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America. The first book in my young adult book series, Emerson Page and Where the Light Enters, was acquired by a publisher and launched in November 2017. I’m currently working on the second book in the series.
A recovering multi-tasker, I’m equally at home in front of my Mac, on my yoga mat, walking my rescue dog, Phineas, traveling with a purpose, or practicing the high-art of people watching. I also cut up small bits of paper and put them back together as a collage artist.
My company:
I’m bringing together all of my business and creative career paths as the Founder of Double or Nothing Media:
• I craft products, programs, and projects that make a difference;
• I build the business plans that make what I craft financially sustainable;
• I tell the stories that matter about the people, places, and products that inspire me.
Follow my adventures on Twitter at https://twitter.com/christanyc and Instagram at https://instagram.com/christarosenyc.
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Christa Avampato 