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change, relationships

This just in: With every goodbye, you learn

You learn, and you learn...

You learn, and you learn…

I’ve been thinking about this poem below a lot recently. I don’t talk about my love life on this site much, but I recently stopped dating someone who had quickly grown to mean a lot to me. I’m sorry that it didn’t work out with him the way I had hoped. We had a lot of potential for something very special. This poem has helped a lot, as literature always does. It makes us feel less alone. Even though we may be hurting now, we know that many people have been this way before. And if they can pick themselves up and go on, then so can we.

“After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today,
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure…
That you really are strong,
And you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn…
With every goodbye you learn.”

~ Veronica A. Shoffstall

About Christa Avampato

I make a living in business and I make a life as a writer, artist, and yogi. I use my business and storytelling skills to build a better world. My first novel, Emerson Page and Where the Light Enters, will be published in the Fall of 2017 by Thumbkin Prints, a children's and YA imprint of Possibilities Publishing Co. My creative career has stretched across Capitol Hill, Broadway theatre, education, nonprofit fundraising, health and wellness, and Fortune 500 companies in retail, media, and financial services. In every experience, I have used my sense of and respect for elegant design to develop meaningful products, services, program, and events to help people live happier, healthier lives. A recovering multi-tasker, I am a proud alum of UPenn (BA) and the Darden School at UVA (MBA). When not in front of my Mac, I’m on my yoga mat, walking my rescue dog, Phineas, traveling with a purpose, or practicing the high-art of people watching. I am proud to New York City my home, and I've been called the happiest New Yorker by friends and strangers alike. They're right. Follow my adventures on Twitter at and Instagram at


4 thoughts on “This just in: With every goodbye, you learn

  1. A powerful, Self-centering poem, Christa. From your recent posts it sounded as if you were passing through some fires of decision. I admire your courage. My boy friend recently went back to Spain after spending several weeks here. In the days immediately after he left, I was overwhelmed by the feeling that life is simply full of losses. But what can we do except go on and learn and learn and give what we can.


    Posted by Jan Schaper | June 10, 2015, 12:01 am

I'd love to know what you think of this post! Please leave a reply and I'll get back to you in a jiffy! ~ CRA

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