I’ve been thinking about this poem below a lot recently. I don’t talk about my love life on this site much, but I recently stopped dating someone who had quickly grown to mean a lot to me. I’m sorry that it didn’t work out with him the way I had hoped. We had a lot of potential for something very special. This poem has helped a lot, as literature always does. It makes us feel less alone. Even though we may be hurting now, we know that many people have been this way before. And if they can pick themselves up and go on, then so can we.
“After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today,
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure…
That you really are strong,
And you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn…
With every goodbye you learn.”
IN BRIEF
Author, journalist, digital product manager, and licensed New York City tour guide. Creator and host of NYC's Secrets and Lies. Alumna of the University of Pennsylvania (BA), the Darden School of Business at the University of Virginia (MBA), Arizona State University (Biomimicry), and the University of Cambridge (MSt in Sustainability Leadership).
I build digital media platforms, report on urban climate resilience and biodiversity, and produce live narrative experiences that connect communities to history, nature, and place.
THE DEEP DIVE
My work centers on a single thread: building systems and stories that foster deep connection to our shared world. Across digital streaming, environmental reporting, and live civic storytelling, I design experiences that help people understand complex ideas and the environments around them.
DIGITAL PRODUCT STRATEGY & MEDIA LEADERSHIP
At Carnegie Hall, I serve as Digital Product Manager, leading product strategy, operations, and technical delivery for the video streaming platform Carnegie Hall+. I translate artistic mission into scalable, high-performance streaming architecture that reaches audiences globally. Previously, I led agile product and delivery teams across operations and compliance at American Express, managed Broadway theatrical productions and national tours, and guided strategic initiatives across cultural institutions.
ENVIRONMENTAL JOURNALISM & AUTHORSHIP
As a freelance journalist, I investigate how living systems, urban infrastructure, and human culture intersect. My reported features on urban decarbonization, biodiversity, coastal resilience, and biomimicry appear in publications including Smithsonian Magazine, The Washington Post, Mongabay, Natural History Magazine, and Foreign Policy Magazine. In fiction, I write the Emerson Page young adult novel series, alongside upcoming historical fiction and nonfiction works on New York history, mythology, and human resilience. I also write Togetherhood, a LinkedIn newsletter focused on urban ecology and community restoration, and co-host the podcast Frameworks in the Wild.
LIVE EXPERIENCE & CIVIC STORYTELLING
As a licensed New York City tour guide and live event producer, I transform urban landscapes into shared narrative encounters. I created, produce, and host NYC's Secrets and Lies, an interactive live storytelling series staged across cultural landmarks including the New York Transit Museum, the South Street Seaport Museum, and the historic tall ship Wavertree. I also design and lead site-specific walking tours exploring coastal ecology, food history, and neighborhood evolution, often with partners at Climate Week NYC and the Natural Areas Conservancy.
DOUBLE OR NOTHING MEDIA
Through my independent production studio, Double or Nothing Media, I develop ventures across media, ecology, and public history:
Digital Products & Strategy: Architecting scalable digital platforms, streaming experiences, and operational models for mission-driven institutions.
Environmental Reporting & Publications: Delivering long-form reporting, books, and newsletters grounded in climate resilience and regenerative design.
Site-Specific Live Storytelling: Producing immersive live shows and educational walking tours that engage public audiences in community history.
CONNECT
Website & Production Hub: doubleornothingmedia.com and christaavampato.com
Newsletter: Togetherhood on LinkedIn - linkedin.com/newsletters/togetherhood-7273771832221089792/
Instagram & Threads: @christarosenyc
Emerson Page Novels: emersonpagebook.wordpress.com/
View all posts by Christa Avampato
4 thoughts on “This just in: With every goodbye, you learn”
A powerful, Self-centering poem, Christa. From your recent posts it sounded as if you were passing through some fires of decision. I admire your courage. My boy friend recently went back to Spain after spending several weeks here. In the days immediately after he left, I was overwhelmed by the feeling that life is simply full of losses. But what can we do except go on and learn and learn and give what we can.
Hi Jan. I’m so sorry that you were in the depths of that as well. It’s very sad and difficult to let go, isn’t it. But at least we can take comfort in the fact that we gave as much as we could. And that we’re still standing and still strong and still learning. Sending you a big hug.
A powerful, Self-centering poem, Christa. From your recent posts it sounded as if you were passing through some fires of decision. I admire your courage. My boy friend recently went back to Spain after spending several weeks here. In the days immediately after he left, I was overwhelmed by the feeling that life is simply full of losses. But what can we do except go on and learn and learn and give what we can.
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Hi Jan. I’m so sorry that you were in the depths of that as well. It’s very sad and difficult to let go, isn’t it. But at least we can take comfort in the fact that we gave as much as we could. And that we’re still standing and still strong and still learning. Sending you a big hug.
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Thank you, Christa! You are a bright light!
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Takes one to know one, Jan 🙂
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