“The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.” ~Maya Angelou
Home is a powerful word. It brings to mind images of our dream home or a childhood home, a city, or the people and occasions that symbolize the idea of home for us.
For me, home is a feeling. I’ve felt at home in many cities around the world, at museums and theaters, in parks, on rivers, at the ocean, and up in the air. Many times, home has been a yoga mat or a good book that lets me lose myself for a good long while in an effort to find myself again. Sometimes it’s a long walk with Phin or a long talk with a good friend. Home for me means comfort, somewhere that lets me be who I am without apology or explanation. A place where I can feel all my feelings and manage my way through them.
Now as I make a new new life in Washington, I’m hoping that I can help other people find that meaning of home, too. Maybe it will be through my volunteer work or teaching yoga or somehow sharing my writing in some format. What I do know is that there are a lot of people who need to find and feel the true meaning of home in their lives who’ve either never had the feeling before or who haven’t felt it for a long time. I understand that feeling of searching for home all too well. I’m spent most of my life in that mode, and I think I can help.
“The truth is always dangerous because once you know it you have to do something about it.” ~Azar Nafisi
Yesterday I went to hear Azar Nafisi, one of my favorite authors, speak about the cultural landscape of Iran and how understanding that landscape can open the way to cross-cultural dialogue. The quote above is my favorite from her talk, and it resonates so deeply with me because of the past year I’ve had when so many truths within my own life and in the world itself have come to light in stark, and often frightening, reality.
Once we know the truth, we can’t unknow it. We can try to ignore it, even deceive ourselves into thinking it’s not there. Truth is relentless—it will grow louder, larger, and stronger until it finally gets its share of the limelight. It will not move on quietly. It demands to be noticed and addressed.
The truth will set you free, though free in this case has a very specific meaning. It will free us from old paradigms, habits, and routines, and this isn’t always easy. Actually, it’s almost never easy. Truth sets us free to see ourselves and those around us as we truly are, not as we imagine. Truth rips off the veil; it strips away the lens and the filters that alter our reality. And this is a very good, albeit difficult, thing.
With the truth, we can have a real and lasting impact. We can move forward with confidence and conviction, and we can help others do the same. The truth makes us lighter, makes it possible to imagine and then create new realities that are sustainable and richer than the half-truths that we had before.
Maybe you’re in the midst of confronting some prickly truths, realizing that things were not as they so long appeared to be. I certainly am, and so are many others. You’re not alone in your discoveries, and you’re certainly not alone in trying to make peace and purpose with them. This is a part of the human experience. It’s something that binds all of us together, across every culture, race, religion, gender, language, and even across time. We’re in this together.
Even though it was freezing in D.C. yesterday, the buds on this tree couldn’t and wouldn’t be stopped. Winter can hang as long as it wants, and eventually spring will win. Spring plays the long game, and I respect that.
“Curiosity about life in all of its aspects, I think, is still the secret of great creative people.” ~Leo Burnett
If there’s one attribute I’d like to see held up above all others in our society, and especially in our schools, I would have to say curiosity. It’s where every exploration, internal and external, begins. It’s a trait that never goes out of style and I believe if we keep after it, it’s always rewarded in ways great and small. It boosts our happiness, our sense of accomplishment. Curiosity connects us to people and places, even ones we may never see in-person. It provides the path to contribute to our world in a meaningful and profound way that will last far beyond our own existence. Curiosity is the root of everything meaningful, and isn’t that what we’re all after?
Forgiveness is the greatest gift we can give and get
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ~Mahatma Gandhi
When I was a very young theater manager, we had a member of our company who was extraordinarily difficult. He was constantly disrespectful to many people in the country, especially to my boss at the time. In front of the entire company, they had a huge confrontation and this difficult person swore at my boss and stormed out of the room. I was shocked, and angry.
A few hours later that company member came into our office and apologized to my boss. He was sincere in his apology, though I had no expectation that my boss would let him off the hook after his horrible behavior and public display. My boss shook his hand and accepted his apology. When the company member left, I turned to my boss and asked how he could so easily accept an apology after he had been so terribly treated only hours before. My boss turned to me and gave me one of the greatest lessons of my life.
“Christa, if someone has the courage to sincerely ask for my forgiveness, then the least I can do is have the courage to forgive him. Asking for forgiveness is the hardest thing we can ever do. Granting forgiveness to someone who’s hurt us is the second hardest.”
That was almost 15 years ago, and I’ve never forgotten that incident, nor the lesson that it taught me. Forgiveness, on both sides, is the domain of the strong. Let’s be strong. Let’s forgive.
There’s something so hopeful about lights in the distance. Though they may be out of focus from where we are now, we can be confident that as we continue to move forward everything will become clear.
I took a break from my usual job search routine yesterday to explore different volunteer opportunities in D.C. Using VolunteerMatch.org, I was able to identify quite a few different opportunities that are flexible and fun. In case you’re interested in volunteering in the D.C. area, here are the ones I found most exciting.
Animals Rural Dog Rescue:Â Rural Dog Rescue is in need of volunteers every Saturday afternoon from 12-3 to help at our adoption events. Events are located in SE DC, NW DC, Northern Virginia and Maryland. If interested, please fill out our Volunteer Questionnaire and we will be in touch.
Arts and Culture Spark!Lab Ambassador: The Lemelson Center for the Study of Invention and Innovation at the Smithsonian’s National Museum of American History is reopening July 1, 2015! We are recruiting a new group of volunteers (called Ambassadors) to work with museum visitors in Spark!Lab, its hands-on invention space for children and families.
Smithsonian Air and Space Museum: Family day will explore the amazing accomplishments in astronomical observing from Galileo to Hubble. Through astronomy presentations, hands-on activities, and more, learn how different cultures see the sky. Family Day volunteers help by staffing activity stations.
Filmfest DC: We are currently looking for volunteers to assist us in theaters at our 29th annual festival this April 16 – 26. Our mission is to bring the best in new international cinema to the Nation’s Capital and to present these works in a spirit of appreciation and cooperation. Volunteers help us usher guests inside theaters, help with the box office, collect tickets, hand out and receive ballots for audience choice awards and much more.
Food Rescuing Leftover Cuisine Inc.:Â We need volunteers to help expand our Washington DC operations! We are rescuing food that would have been thrown out by restaurants, and bringing it to the people who need it most in the local community.
Bread for the City:Â Each growing season on Sunday afternoon, Bread for the City partners with several local farmers markets to glean or “rescue” leftover produce. We then rely on dedicated volunteers to help us sort and pack this produce into family sized servings so that we can quickly and efficiently distribute it to our Food Pantry clients the following week.
Food & Friends:Â Assist chefs with food preparation and packing meals in our high-energy kitchen. Have a ball slicing, dicing, chopping and stirring – all while making a huge difference in the lives of those living with life-challenging illnesses! No culinary experience necessary. Flexible shifts available Monday through Saturday. (I’ve already signed up for a volunteer orientation next month.)
Community InterAction: InterAction invites you to be part of the volunteer team at its annual Forum, which will be held from June 22 through June 24, 2015 at the Wardman Park Marriott in downtown Washington, DC. Here’s your chance to play an important role at the premier conference of professionals engaged in developing solutions to key issues facing the world’s poor. Plus, you’ll get to attend the conference sessions for free.
I’ve been thinking a lot about purpose lately. Not only of finding it, but living it. Of the hard choices and sacrifices made to pursuit it. All of the bright shiny objects that try to distract us from it. And the meaning of it when we consider all of the other priorities in our lives that may have to be reshuffled to make our purpose possible.
Realizing the full power of our purpose requires taking many small steps in a big direction. I think it might be the only way to find and pursue our purpose: one deliberate action at a time. Sometimes a decision opportunity occurs at a crossroads. Sometimes we have to make the choice to keep going through a dark time because we believe so strongly in the light ahead. We might feel like giving up, and for a time we may actually just put our purpose on hold.
The big leaps toward our goals are one in a million. They’re fun to take. Everyone loves a good sprint toward something we really want. Purpose rarely works that way. The road is often slow and steep. We have to learn a lot along the way. We get lost and turned around and confused. We fail and we try again. Those are the times we take a seat, close our eyes, and regroup. Why did you start? What did you hope to find? What have you learned? And why does it matter?
Maybe you’re in the midst of these questions. I am, too. It’s not an easy place to be. What I’m doing now is living the questions, one at a time. I’m remembering what mattered to me most when I first started my career, ironically in Washington, D.C. I’m remembering what I hoped to find all those years ago and everything I’ve learned along the way. I’ve always known why it mattered; I just needed to remind myself.
Taking this journey is like taking a trip back in time, a journey home. I feel like my life is coming full circle in a place that’s I’ve been meant to be all along. And that feels damn good. In those dark moments when I’m questioning everything (usually at 3am when I can’t sleep), that’s the idea I hold onto. I’m right where I need to be right now, and someday soon it’s all going to make perfect sense.
Yesterday I dipped one tiny toe into the whirling, swirling pool of buying real estate. A one-hour info session and I was already overwhelmed by all of the terms and considerations. So I did what I do whenever I’m overwhelmed—I breathe and take copious notes. I remind myself that when it comes to these giant life decisions that I’m just beginning to contemplate, I don’t need to do anything right this minute except pay attention, ask questions, and learn.
Once I accepted that I have all the time I need to make this choice, I started to relax. I went into student mode, a place where I’m very comfortable, and told myself that thousands of people buy and sell real estate every day. There are plenty of ways to get educated and experts with good hearts and minds who want to help. Many hands make light the load, especially when it comes to preparing to buy a home. And I believe in that old adage of real estate that when the buyer is ready, the right seller will appear.
When I settle into new circumstances, I find it’s helpful to take things one step at a time. Sometimes those steps will come quickly in succession and sometimes one step takes many months, or even years, of planning. With my move to D.C., things moved quickly and so did I. Phin got the all-clear from his doctors post-surgery, I learned it was better to job search locally rather than long-distance, and my wonderful friends had a fantastic space that was immediately available for me. All within about a week. Once I arrived, there was the matter of figuring out how to get around the city again, what to do with my car, and how to set up my life once more.
Now the job search is moving along and I’m slowly getting to know the city after a decade away from it. I’m loving life in D.C. as the perfect combo of so many things I loved about New York City in a more easily livable setting. Spring is on the way and I’m looking forward to being outside as much as possible along with everyone else in the city. Phin is also loving it, especially spending a lot of his time with his new canine pal and neighbor, Otis.
Today I’m taking the next tiny step and going to a real estate presentation. My hope is to buy a home here in D.C. at some point. I’ve got a lot of things to line up before that can happen—namely a job and exploring more neighborhoods (so far the one I live in is my favorite for its charm, convenience, and diversity)—though I’ve learned that with something as complicated as buying a home, it’s best to get started long before I’m ready to make the leap. This real estate session will be a bit like looking around the corner to get a tiny glimpse of what my future might look like. I’m looking forward to the view, even if that view is miles away in the distance. It’s comforting and exciting to make tiny steps toward such a big, long-wanted goal.
Christa Avampato 