Whenever I tell people I teach meditation they say to me, “I wish I could meditate. I just can’t get my mind to calm down. It’s always going a million miles an hour.” And then I see them totally absorbed by the shiny screens of their smartphones and I see the potential they can’t see. They can focus; they can get their minds to calm down. Attention is a matter of intention.
My yoga teacher Douglass Stewart explained to us this week in class that the old yogis and rishis of the mountains many centuries ago used their bodies as instruments for attaining attention and focus. Now we use smartphones in the same way that they used their bodies. The same could be said for being absorbed in a book or a painting or a movie. I often see people doing crossword puzzles or playing games on the subway and they are focused like laser beams. It’s quite something to see the exterior effect of a highly attuned and quiet mind. Serene, calm, alive.
We feel pulled in many different directions. We might feel scattered, stretched too thin, even frazzled. Some people think our potential, as individuals and as a society, is going to hell in hand basket because of our toxic dependence on mobile devices. I see something different.
I see that we are abundantly capable of focus and awareness, that we can still be consumed through connection of some kind. Our version of focus certainly looks different than the focus of the rishis, but the mental and physical result is the same. An absorbed mind creates a relaxed body. A relaxed body is able to move through the world with agility and facility in a way that helps us achieve our potential for a full and well-lived life. The path may be different. The tools may be different. The goal is the same.
Last night I sent off my first playwriting fellowship application. The fellowship is with one of the theater companies I admire most in the world, right here in New York City. I have been inspired by many of their productions, philosophy, and leadership. I am quite certain they get inundated with applications and that landing even an interview is a long shot. No matter. I feel drawn to them and what they do so I’m tossing my hat in the ring.
While the play itself that I wrote this summer came pouring out of me, the personal statement didn’t flow as easily at first. The 2 questions for the personal statement were very straight forward: 1.) What kind of work do I want to make? and 2.) Why do I feel that this theatre company is the right place for me? I made a lot of notes and tossed around a lot of ideas. I’d like to think I did this in order to create a meaningful, concise statement. After a couple of weeks, I realized what I was doing. I was procrastinating. I was afraid to put my artist statement in writing and have it stare back at me. It felt like such a heavy, daunting task. What kind of work do I want to make, and why, and how, and with whom? In 750 words or less.
I would stare at a blank screen, unable to start, and then close my laptop. Last week, I put the fear aside. What’s the worst that would happen? I’d write a horrible artist statement that’s whiny and arrogant and lifeless. That’s all. And then I’d throw it in the trash having gotten all the rotten stuff out.
My artist statement wasn’t anything like that. I just answered as honestly as I could. I want to make work that has a lasting impact on how people see themselves and their contributions to humanity in a place that celebrates and supports artists. I expounded on that idea in multiple ways, but that’s the gist of it. And it felt good, really good, to say it aloud, on paper, for someone to read.
Everyone stumps for authenticity but no one tells you how hard it is to discover it, admit it, and live it. It opens us up for criticism of the very deepest part of our hearts. We give it over to someone to judge and critique and analyze. Someone peers into our essence and says, “Yes, you’re one of us” or “No, you’re not one of us.” “I get you” or “I don’t get you.” And that can be frightening. It certainly is for me, but I do it anyway because I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t. I couldn’t get up everyday if I didn’t feel like I was giving the world they very best that I’ve got.
Ultimately, we have to do it. We have to be frightened and stand up anyway and say, “This is who I am, what I care about, and I want to know if we can work on this whole business of building a better world together.” It’s an invitation, and it might be accepted and it might be rejected. As artists, that is our path no matter what our medium. We have to invite people in. Some will stick around and some will stay. It’s the only way to find our pack and to help one another. This is the way forward, and it feels good to be on the path.
It’s with a rather ridiculous amount of excitement that I announce I am officially part of The Motley Fool. I’ve been a fan of the Fools for many years and last week found out that I was accepted as a freelance writer for their new section, The Business.
My first post is about the viral video Dove Real Beauty Sketches and how inspired I am that corporations, finally, are joining Team Human. I hope you’ll click-through and read my post – How to Make a Viral Video: Dove Beauty Sketches.
When I first started out as a writer, I wrote two pieces for The Well Daily as a ghost writer. While I love The Well Daily, I couldn’t stomach being a ghost writer. I couldn’t do the hard work of developing content and have someone else slap her name on it. It irked me right down to my bones, so I decided then and there, even though I was a very new professional writer, that I would never do it again.
Yesterday, I made the hard decision to walk away from a client project I was very excited about because when I inquired about a byline, they came clean about the fact that all of their blog content is ghost written under the CEO’s name. My heart sank.
I understand that this is a common practice. I understand that a lot of writers make very good money as ghost writers. Let me be clear: I would never in a million years tell anyone else how to run their writing career. We all have values and we all make judgements that are right for us based on those values. If you’re a ghost writer, and you love being one, then by all means continue.
I’ve been offered very good money (though not in this particular instance with this client) to be a ghost writer. For a moment, and I mean just one single moment, I thought about going to this client and asking for more money to be a ghost writer for the CEO. And the next moment I decided against it because no amount of money would ever be enough. I just personally can’t do it, and here’s why:
The reasons why I don’t ghost write 1.) I am building a brand and a company that relies on my voice and expertise. Tossing away a byline in my areas of expertise (which is the only kind of writing I create) would mean ceding the future value of my content, and no amount of money in the world is worth that to me.
2.) I am me. I can’t write in someone else’s voice because it’s not mine. I can’t embody someone else’s point-of-view over an extended period of time in an authentic way because I haven’t lived his or her life. I have lived mine, and all of my experiences contribute to each piece of writing that I do. If the content is so important to someone who wants to put his or her name on my content, then why can’t he or she make time to write it themselves? It begs the question, “Does this content really matter to you?”
3.) Writing is difficult work, and for me a byline is the biggest benefit for all of the blood, sweat, and tears that go into my content development.
4.) I want to help. Most of my writing tends toward the inspirational side of life. I write to be of service to others. If no one knows I wrote a piece, then a reader of that piece can’t connect with me. They can’t ask me questions. I can’t build a relationship with readers if they don’t know I’m the writer. I’ve developed incredible friendships based upon this blog and other writing I’ve done. Those relationships are invaluable to me. I wouldn’t trade them for anything.
5.) My name is not for sale, and neither are my thoughts. They are priceless.
6.) Credit is not a scarce resource. What’s wrong with giving credit to everyone for all of the work they put into a piece of writing? A byline feels like an awfully small ask when good content is on the line.
Some words of advice if you choose to ghost write 1.) Know why you’re doing it. Maybe you’re just getting started as a writer. Maybe it’s a very lucrative way to enable you to do other things that matter to you. Maybe you want the freedom to write anonymously because you are worried about what people in your life might think if you really shared how you felt. Maybe you want to build a new area of knowledge on someone else’s dime. Perhaps it’s a way for you to work with someone whom you truly respect, and writing is just the avenue to learn from that person and be a part of his or her team and mission. The exact reason is unimportant, but having a clear reason that’s of extreme value to you is critical so that you don’t end up resenting the work.
2.) Don’t let the client take advantage of you, nor treat you like hired help. You can avoid this by getting permission to put the posts into your portfolio, having them write you an open recommendation letter that describes your responsibilities, directly asking them for referrals, and / or having them agree to be a reference for your other potential clients. And make sure you are well compensated financially and / or are afforded flexibility that makes your other personal and professional objectives possible.
3.) If your goal is to eventually be a writer in your own name, continue to do other work in your name. Don’t let that goal fall by the wayside for the sake of your ghost writing unless that goal is no longer a priority for you. Work on your other writing projects, the ones that do have your name on them, with as much gusto as the ghost writing.
I do these 5 things every day without fail:
1.) I brush my teeth 2.) I walk Phin 3.) I eat breakfast 4.) I meditate 5.) I write
If we are to make a-go of our art, any art, it has to be as important as anything else we do every day. When I think of all the artists I admire, each one goes after it full-time with their full hearts. Once I saw that glaring similarity between them, I realized I had to do the same thing. I had to give myself as shot at being a full-time writer by choosing to write full-time. There was nothing else to do but that. Eventually we must decide – is this who we are or is this a hobby? Either answer is completely fine. I knew what I wanted mine to be, so I went for it.
I lived in artistic limbo for a long time. I made a lot of excuses. Now, it was time to commit, one way or the other. I’d been a writer on the side for 6 years, diligently plugging away every day, doing everything possible to improve the skills I had and build the new skills I needed. That incubation period was vital; it paved the way to today.
I still work on my skills every day. I hope I wake up every morning a better writer than I was the day before. That’s my only professional goal, and I’ll keep right on working for that as long as I have words.
Balance has been the hardest part of being a freelancer, and particularly a freelance writer. I regularly have to research, pitch, and complete work all in one day, every day, for different projects. I use an application called Remember the Milk to store all my to-do lists and one of those lists is entitled “Stop Freaking Out”. I created it to help me manage through the inevitable ups and downs of work.
On that list, I jot down all of the projects I’m currently working on and the ones that are possibilities in the pipeline. Whenever I feel panic begin to enter the fringes of my mind – “Will I have enough work to do? Am I on the right track? Is the risk worth the reward?” – I consult this list and it gives me enough comfort to put worry aside and keep working. It’s my source of calm in the storm.
It’s been a useful tool for me, especially since I decided to give my dream of being a full-time writer a shot at being a reality. I consult it, oh, about 3 times a day. Luckily it’s always close by as the app is on my phone and iPad, and the list is also accessible on my laptop through the Remember the Milk website. We all need support as we pursue a dream; we all need reassurance that somehow in the end everything is going to be okay. This list is one of the ways I provide that assurance to myself.
How do you reassure yourself when the going gets a little nerve-wracking?
Sometimes, we lose our footing on our path because we doubt our gut. We make a choice that at the time seems like the sensible, acceptable way to go. Then we get down the road and realize this was the wrong choice. Our gut was right. We should have followed our instincts. Doubling back seems difficult, if not impossible, so we just keep going in the wrong direction, hoping that we can somehow turn it into the right direction or be happy with it as is even if it’s not what we want. This is the sad definition of settling, but it’s not the only definition. We can choose to settle for what we want.
When I worked with my therapist, Brian, we spent a lot of time on this concept. For much of my life I had settled, but I didn’t realize that at the time. I had gotten so used to settling that it felt like what I wanted. Certainly I pushed myself very hard and I had incredibly high expectations of myself and others (I still do), but there was a part of me that was very concerned with the appearance of success and the guilt of not taking an opportunity that many others would love to have, even if it was one I didn’t want. “I should be happy with this,” I would say. “Many other people would be so I should be, too.”
Brian helped me break that awful habit. We are here on our own paths. We know what we want, what brings us joy, more than anyone else does. And that includes your best friends, your partner, your parents, even your strongest and most inspiring mentors. They don’t know what you want. They only know what will help them not worry about you. And that’s a lovely wonderful thing, but it is no way to live a life. Thank them for the advice and do what you know to be the right thing for you right now. Ask for their support, but don’t live by their rules.
You have to decide how to spend your time. You have to choose how to build your life. It’s one of the best things about being an adult – getting to carve and live your own masterpiece. Let people share in that, but don’t let anyone dictate it to you. Don’t be afraid to give yourself everything you’ve ever wanted in life.
In yoga, the concept of a life path is known as dharma. It’s our direction, our anchor, our reason for being and doing.
Here are a few things I know about dharma: 1.) You are the only person who knows what it is 2.) More often than not, it chooses you. Either you follow it or fight it, but that choice is up to you. 3.) It never fails you in the long-run, but in the short-run it can be bumpy, difficult, and uncomfortable. The good news is that you learn to love the discomfort because you know that finding your dharma is worth the ride. 4.) If you don’t follow your path, you feel a lack of fulfillment and purpose that is tough to find any other way. 5.) The way is always open, though the path is not always immediately apparent.
Here’s how these 5 principles came alive for me:
Theater, culture, and writing I left professional theater a number of years ago because the path that I was on in the industry wasn’t my path. I was working on the business side even though my path is to be a writer. I have known this for a long time, for many years. It took a long time for me to get the courage to follow the writer’s path. It also took me a long time to learn the craft well enough to trust myself to earn a living from it. And now I’ve written my first play about specific societal issues that are near and dear to my heart and am beginning to submit it to different theater companies for their consideration. My love for theater and culture finally merged with my path of being a writer. I’m also writing a book and writing for a number of publications and organizations rooted in good causes. I spend my day crafting words about things that matter to me, my very favorite activity.
Business and writing
Some people thought I was crazy to leave my job in the business side of theater without knowing what I wanted to do next. Some thought I was crazy when I left my comfy corporate job many years later to pursue a creative path that was not yet clear to me. I knew I wasn’t crazy; I knew I wanted to be happy and I had to take a new road to find out what makes me happy.
Technology and writing
My business experience in several different industries, including technology, has been an enormous asset to so many areas of my life, and I know it will continue to be. I love business and technology, and I especially love to explore the way in which they push cultural change. To be happy, I had to bring the pieces of my life together in a creative way – that was the path. It took a long time to learn that, and when I finally understood that I found that the way was open. I had to choose it, but it was there waiting for me.
Today I’ll be live tweeting High Water Women‘s Investing for Impact Conference. With an incredibly impressive line up of speakers from the investment, nonprofit, and NGO worlds, the conference will cover the triumphs and challenges of financial investing that is focused on making a positive impact on society.
High Water Women empowers women and youth in need by creating powerful volunteer opportunities that leverage the talents and aspirations of professional women. They focus their work in 3 main areas:
– Enriched education for at-risk youth
– Relieving the impact of family poverty
– Economic empowerment for women
You can follow the day via my Twitter feed, @christanyc, or through the High Water Women Twitter feed, @HighWaterWomen. The hashtag for the event is #HWW2013. I hope you’ll chime in, ask questions, and connect with others on this topic. I look forward to the conversation!
In keeping with the theme of using October as a month of renewal, I’ve decided to stop doing some things. Time has value far beyond any other possession we have. We must spend it wisely. For a few months I’ve been writing branded content through a third-party vendor as one of my writing gigs. The vendor has a stable of writers, finds brands that need quality content, and puts the two together.
It’s a fine concept – on paper. The trouble is that with this particular vendor the writers and clients never speak directly to one another. They only communicate via email through the third-party, and very little information is given to the writer at the outset. Lots of signals get crossed and lost, leading to hefty rewrites that make the per piece pay rate untenable given all of the work and re-work each piece takes.
I dropped the gig yesterday, and feel happy / sad about the decision. The third party vendor isn’t happy about it. I never like walking away from work though I understand from friends of mine who have been freelancing far longer than I (Amanda, I’m looking at you with my big blog-y eyes) that this is the way of the freelance world. Not every opportunity will be as good as it seems. And some opportunities will be good for a while, but aren’t suited for the long haul.
As Kenny Rogers says, you gotta know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away, and know when to run. A gambler I am, at least in the proverbial sense. Next!
Christa Avampato 