When someone asks me who or what I’m trying to be, I don’t give them an occupation. I tell them I’m trying to be someone who the younger me would be proud of. When I was a little girl, I would look to adults I admired: authors, scientists, teachers, teachers, and other people doing inspiring work around the world. I couldn’t wait to be an adult so that I could get out into the world and make some kind of contribution.
In the shuffle of everyday adult life, this kind of memory can get lost. That little kid is still inside me somewhere, still inspired by these same people for these same reasons. The question I think about all the time is if the younger me would be inspired by the me of today. When I have a decision to make, especially when the problem is muddy and there is no clear answer, I think about younger me a lot. I try to imagine how she would see the problem that adult me faces. No doubt, it would be very black and white to her. And then I make the choice she’d admire, the choice she’d be proud of. She’s my barometer for doing the right thing.
“If you live for having it all, what you have is never enough.” ~ Vicki Robin
Wealth is the ability to make a living while we make a life. I was on my way to a client meeting last week and I took a stroll down 47th Street, Jeweler’s Row. Sparkly baubles in every window caught my eye. Plenty of shop owners were out on the street, trying to entice me to come inside and take a look around. I just smiled, waved, and moved on. I have all the wealth I need, no bling required.
I’m not rich. Far from it. I still have to be careful with my money as I always have to have a stash set aside in case I have a slow month, a client who doesn’t pay on time, or a sizable unexpected expense. Being a business owner is a balancing act financially, emotionally, and mentally. It’s also an amazing gift to have the freedom of place and space.
On Friday morning, Phin and I took a long trot through Central Park, over to the Met, and then up 5th Avenue. The weather was perfect and we both needed an extra dose of fresh air. As I visited the street artists who set up shop outside the Met, I realized how lucky I am. A little over a year ago, I would have spent my mornings rushing through Phin’s walk, rushing through my morning routine, rushing to the train, and then rushing into my very grey office to work that lacked inspiration.
On most mornings now I take a long walk early in the morning without my watch, and return home to work in a sun-filled apartment with trees outside my window and Pandora playing my favorite music. This isn’t to say my work life is perfect. I hustle, pitch, and work very late most evenings. I sometimes have to do work I don’t necessarily like to make it possible to do other work that I love. For example, I spent 9 hours on PowerPoint yesterday for a client project due this week, but today I’ll be working on the final rewrites for the next draft of my first full-length play. That is balance.
What I do have is enough: enough work I love and enough time to appreciate just how lucky I am to have made this leap. I live in a great apartment in a great neighborhood in a great city (with a great little dog). I get to see my friends and family much more than I ever have before. I’m happier and healthier than I’ve ever been. My life, exactly as it is right now, is enough. I am wealthy.
To move ahead, an arrow must first be drawn backward. So it is for us, too. We take one step forward and two steps back. We feel like we are in a perpetual game of catch up, make ends meet, and CYR (cover your rent). I hear you. I live it, too. For every success I’ve ever had, the have been hundreds, maybe thousands, of strike outs. Sometimes I’ve even gotten up to bat to find out that the whole game was cancelled and everyone heard the news except me.
It takes a certain resilience, a certain beautiful brand of lunacy, to carve our own paths, to buck convention, to make the career we want rather than take a job someone else creates. It is a grind, and a grind is what makes diamonds brilliant; it’s what turns wheat into flour that makes bread; it’s what helps aged spices release their gift of fragrance and flavor. The grind is necessary.
We can’t get ahead without first being behind. We can’t give the best that we have without first undergoing some refinement. Our refinement as entrepreneurs is rejection. Rejection shows us in no uncertain terms what really matters to us, and more importantly it shows us what we’re made of, just how strong we really are.
Life is hard in some ways for everyone, and for some of us it’s hard in many ways. We are all battling something, healing from something. We’ve only really got two choices – we can let what happens to us build us up or break us down. I prefer up.
Have you seen “Giving”, a short 3-minute film created by TrueMove, a Thai mobile telecommunications company? It tells the story of two families – one facing extreme hardship and the other in a position to help. It showcases the beauty of giving without expecting anything in return. I saw it during a digital storytelling session at Advertising Week. This might just be the best 3 minutes of your day. And who knows – maybe it will inspire you to take action in your own community.
A pic I snapped during one of the tech session at Advertising Week
Day 3 at Advertising Week blew my mind. Literally. Technology is taking us right to the brink, in a good way. The brink is where you want to be. The brink is where we push the boundaries of possible, where our wildest dreams become the realities that we seamlessly integrate into our daily lives. The brink is where it’s at. It’s where I want to spend all of my time.
In one particular session, I began to see my future come together, how all the pieces of experience I’ve collected throughout my life gel. I may have even heard a “schumpf” as the picture of my future as a writer in the fields of technology, culture, and business became so much clearer. The steps to the end game aren’t all laid out in a perfect sequence. There are holes that I don’t quite know how to navigate, but I do know where I’m going and why. And I do know the very next step I need to take. That’s enough to keep going.
I also know this: I needed every job I’ve had, every person I’ve ever met, and every place I’ve traveled to make sense of it all. Some were delightful and some were awful. They were all necessary. It is a satisfying thing to look back on our days and see the logic in the madness, the order in the chaos. It makes the day-to-day so much more manageable.
A pic I snapped before heading into B.B. King Blues Club in NYC
Yesterday was the first time I set foot inside 3 top tourist destinations in Times Square – Hard Rock Cafe, BB King Blues Club, and Dave & Busters. Why? On day 2 of my journalism gig for Allvoices.com covering Advertising Week, I trekked through these spaces to gather the inspiring bits and pieces from a variety of panels that ranged from women media makers to white-hot advertising idea generation to the 21st century talent wars. These spaces were much more intimate, with a creative vibe, than The New York Times building where I spent my entire day yesterday. That intimate look and feel fed my creativity to the point that my mind is now whirring with ideas and possibilities in the media space to grow my work as a writer.
There’s a lot to be said for the spaces where we spend our lives, whether at work or at play. Many people say to me, “it’s so great that you are a writer because you can write from anywhere.” While technically that’s true, in reality it’s not. I need to be in an inspiring space. I need to be surrounded by other creatives who jive on the same types of ideas that get me up out of bed in the morning and make me want to toil away into the wee hours of the morning. My work makes me feel alive. I need to be with other people who feel the same way about their work. Without that energy, I feel dull, almost lifeless.
New York City is full of hidden spaces in plain sight. I would have never guessed that Hard Rock Cafe, B.B. King, and D&B had such wonderful conference spaces. I used to manage Broadway shows and now I am an enormous fan of the theatre so I’ve spent a good portion of my life tunneling through Times Square. Most people hate it. I love it because I did so much growing up in those streets. They still have much more to teach me. Spaces, and the lessons they provide, the experiences they foster, become characters in the acts of our lives. Today I am grateful for these stages that provided so much food for thought.
Pic from Advertising Week – digital storytelling presentation
The lines to get into the sessions at Advertising Week are long. People begin to queue in The Times Center 30 minutes before the start of each one. This makes for an opportunity to chat with people I might not otherwise meet. I ask them about their businesses, their marketing challenges, and what they hope to learn in these sessions. They’re quick to tell me the good stuff – the popularity of their brands and the ideas that went right. What’s more interesting to the writer in me lies in the grey messy mass of TBD initiatives.
One Director of Advertising at a large consumer packaged goods company told me that they’ve made a fortune on the back of an animated character who represents the illness their OTC medicine is meant to eliminate. Now in the age of social media, consumers want to interact with that character but since he is the animated representation of the illness, he’s not going to sell product for them via Facebook.
“So what are going to do?” I asked.
“That’s a good question,” he said. “We have no idea. We fight a lot over it.”
If I was at Advertising Week representing a company, I don’t know that I would be so bold as to ask pointed questions without easy answers. It’s liberating to be there to dig, write, and illuminate the stories that are not so readily seen. It’s freeing to be there as someone just trying to learn rather than someone who’s trying to teach. It’s fun to be marketed to instead of being the one doing the marketing.
I’ll be writing 3 features per day on cool finds, interesting people, provocative ideas, and leading edge innovations in media, marketing, and technology. You can see all of my posts on the conference at http://www.allvoices.com/users/Christanyc. On this blog, I’ll draft a more personal piece each day on this experience chasing down my stories. Comments, feedback, and questions are welcomed and appreciated on both sites.
Put away the list. That list. The one that says all the things you have to have from your love. And all the things you refuse to accept. Just write this, “I want someone whose weirdness matches my weirdness.” That’s all we need. The rest works itself out.
Christa Avampato 