apartment, choices, decision-making, home, time

Beautiful: We Get What We Settle For

56c4727c6ae55ca9ddfedcc23445eb2e“We get what we settle for.”

This powerful statement is one of the most incredible lessons I learned working with my therapist and coach, the amazing Brian. I used to think of settling as such a negative word, as if it meant we were somehow giving up or selling ourselves short by settling. Brian turned that around for me.

I learned this lesson in a big way yesterday when I secured my new apartment. Phin and I will be taking up residence at a new place in our neighborhood on April 15th. I wish I could have found a place that was a little bit cheaper, sans any broker fee (though they did give me a discounted fee), and a full one-bedroom. Still, the place is beautiful. I get to stay in my lovely Upper West Side neighborhood right across the street from the park. Because I’m sticking with my current management company, the paperwork was a lot less than it would have been otherwise (especially since I work for myself). It has all the conveniences of my current full-service building and is newly renovated. I will continue to enjoy my western facing view, can break my current lease without penalty, and won’t waste any time hunting for a new home on a tight timeline.

I settled. The new apartment isn’t perfect. I didn’t get every single thing I wanted, but it’s a wonderful fit. And that’s what settling is all about – doing the very best you can with what you’ve got.

5 thoughts on “Beautiful: We Get What We Settle For”

  1. Thank you Christa for completely turning that word “settle” upside down in my head! Until I read this post, I too tended to think of “settling for something” as being a really poor alternative to getting everything we want. Now, however, you remind us that life is all about tradeoffs and compromising and giving up *this* in order to get *that* – and sometimes shifting perspectives in midstream in order to view our surroundings with new eyes.

    Ever since surviving a heart attack in 2008, I’ve had to learn – as a recovering multi-tasker myself! – to avoid getting sucked into a seductive ever-present sense of loss that’s simply the reality along with ongoing cardiac issues (similar to what any person living with any chronic and progressive disease faces daily). You’re so right – my best days are those in which I focus on what I CAN do instead of focusing on all the things that I CAN’T do any longer, much like you’re choosing to do in appreciating what you have in your new home as opposed to what it’s missing. Some may judge that you’ve settled. You haven’t!

    Good luck with your move.


I'd love to know what you think of this post! Please leave a reply and I'll get back to you in a jiffy! ~ CRA

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