priorities, teaching, yoga

Leap: Prepare, and Then Be Prepared to Change

From Pinterest member http://pinterest.com/jacquecramey/

I’m what’s termed an over-preparer. My years as a Girl Scout could be to blame for this neurosis. It could also be that I have an enormous fear of people staring at me waiting for some kind of answer. Ever since I was a very young child, I’ve had horrible stage fright. I wouldn’t say I prepare for every event in my life – only the ones I care about. My yoga and meditation classes fall in that camp.

For the first few years that I taught yoga, I would prepare for hours. I would develop the sequences and then practice them over and over again until I was dreaming about them. No matter how much I prepared, I found myself having to change everything in every class. My students needed something different than what I had prepared, and in an effort to meet their needs, I’d completely adjust the sequences. It felt like all my preparation was worthless, and yet I couldn’t help myself. If I didn’t prepare, my anxiety went right through the roof.

Then about a year ago, Brian asked me what would happen if I didn’t prepare for a class at all. (Mind you, I used to prepare for my sessions with him by making a list of subjects to discuss. I think this annoyed and amused him in equal amounts.) What if I just showed up, surveyed the room, and taught from my heart?

“What if I fail?” I asked.

“What if you do?” Brian asked. “Would that be so bad?”

Against my better judgement, I gave it a whirl. It wasn’t great, but I didn’t crash and burn either. All my preparation over the years had given me tools I didn’t even know I had. I was a better improver than I thought I was. I was better able to connect with my students in real-time than I ever thought possible. My nerves were on a bit on edge at first because I didn’t have the crutch of my preparation, but it got much better in a very short period of time. I started to pay attention more closely, on and off the mat. The less I prepared, the more present I was forced to be. It was beautiful to learn to be spontaneous, more alive, and have the confidence to know I could make it work.

I’ve yet to give up my preparation habit altogether, but I do prepare a lot less than I did in my earliest years of teaching. And though I’m always a bit on edge at the start of a class, I find that preparation doesn’t help to calm my nerves. What does help is to simply and honestly look into the eyes of my students, to recognize their humanness, their vulnerability, and their courage. And I’d miss all those things if I taught from a script.

By all means, prepare until you feel like you’re ready to take the stage in your life. But also be prepared to toss it all out the window in favor of what’s needed in the moment.

2 thoughts on “Leap: Prepare, and Then Be Prepared to Change”

  1. I always have a rough outline in mind, but I realised how much students appreciate the simple question: “Any requests?” 🙂
    Key for me was getting to know sequences and postures that work well together – just so that I have some tools at hand should I need them.
    Thanks for your post!

    Like

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