meditation

Beginning: When to Quit

I’m not telling you to quit your job, though that may be immediately what came to mind when you read this headline. Quitting your job might be the answer to the question, “How can I set myself free?” It might also be a terrible choice. Quitting in its many forms – your job, a relationship, moving from the city where you live – are deeply personal decisions and only you can make them because you have to live them.

MJ, a very loyal and resourceful reader of this blog whom I will have the chance to meet in person this weekend!, sent me a recent article from the Harvard Business Review on the idea of giving up by Nilofer Merchant. It is a raw and honest account of the very personal and professional nature of quitting. What it means, how it feels, and how to handle the opinions of others. It gave me the chills to read her personal story first and then her professional story about quitting. Two very different sets of circumstances, two very different outcomes.

I’ve seen friends of mine end up on both sides of the spectrum. They quit, and it was exactly the change they needed to spur growth. Others quit with disastrous consequences. I’ve never quit and regretted it. Never. And here’s why: I don’t quit until my body tells me I must. The mind will try to convince you of all sorts of arguments, pro and con. The mind will ping-pong back and forth in a merciless volley against itself. The body doesn’t. It knows when you’re done. When it’s time to pack your things and go. The mind is clever but the body is brilliant.

It’s always easier to listen to the mind. It’s louder. It nudges you, prods you for action one way or the other. The body’s language is a quiet confidence. We must consciously tune into it as we turn down the volume on the chattering mind. You have to sit with the wisdom of the body, sometimes straining to hear its low, though consistent, hum. It is worth the time and effort, I promise you. Take a seat, close your eyes, relax the muscles of the face, and pay attention. Follow brilliance, and you’ll know if quitting is for you in this moment.

2 thoughts on “Beginning: When to Quit”

  1. You’re so kind! Sometimes I’m not good about listening to my body (maybe fallout from being a runner and having to override my body to improve – I can push too hard for too long sometimes). My mind can talk me into and out of things so easily. My body on the other hand, has a mind of its own so to speak about what’s good for me and not, will eventually whack me if i’m not listening. One past job, I knew it was time to go when I started getting chest pains from the particular stressors. In my current gig, I spent a year and a half banging my head against the wall w/ mgmt every day to get them to deal with a destructive and abusive manager. Toward the end of that period I realized I had to detach and step away from whether they did anything about the problem (quitting job not option) when I found I had multiple ulcers and other such problems, likely caused by stress. Skin rashes, sudden crying and nightmares have also been signs. Wow, that sounds bad, doesn’t it? Definitely don’t follow my example, but take Christa’s suggestion – sit, close your eyes, breathe and listen.

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