Month: August 2011

death, health, Life

Beginning: My First Mammogram

Christa Avampato

My mother is a breast cancer survivor. Even prior to her diagnosis and healing, I was constantly on my soapbox about how mammograms should be provided to young women. Because of my strong family history, my insurance covers regular mammograms starting at 35. Recently I got a prescription from my doctor and off I went to Lenox Hill Hospital.

Upon scheduling the exam, I had a feeling of real gravity. I knew I was okay; I just felt the weight of this kind of test. After all, it is an exam that is checking for cancer, a potentially lethal disease, and to go through with one we must look squarely in the face of our own mortality. What I felt was most certainly the feeling of “dis-ease” brought on by looking for a “disease”. The synchronicity of these words is no accident. Disease, and the potential of it, is uncomfortable to say the least.

So in I went to the hospital. They had to take several rounds of scans because the doctor felt that the first set had something out of the ordinary. Due to my strong family history, they take no chances. When the doctor came back into the examination room a second time to ask me to take an immediate ultrasound, the gravity of the tests grew a bit heavier on my shoulders. My only thought was perhaps my mind-body connection is not as a strong as I think it is.

I went into the ultrasound room, and the exam took a solid 20 minutes. As I was lying there, I thought about what I might do if indeed the abnormality was something of concern. What would I do if I was asked to have a biopsy? How would I deal with a diagnosis of cancer at age 35? Sadly, it has become more common in my generation than in those generations who have come before us. My mind was blank. I had no idea what I do, and so I waited and breathed.

The doctor read the ultrasound with a sigh of relief. He saw that the abnormality was not cause for alarm. He said he would review with his attending and then send the report to my gynecologist. He also noted that mammograms among young women are very difficult to read because the younger we are, the more dense our tissue is. Reading abnormalities in dense tissue can be deceiving and this is made still more difficult by my petite and mostly lean body type. What was supposed to be a 20 minute baseline exam turned into a 2 and a half hour event in which I felt fine, then felt worried, and then felt fine again.

I walked out of the hospital and took in a full breath in the sunlit air. I exhaled with a big sigh, though the lesson was not lost on me. My mortality is a very real thing, and I must live accordingly. Most people spend a lot of years, particularly their early ones, not looking at or thinking about death. Because of the deaths in my family at a young age, I have never had that luxury. The moment I could contemplate life, I began to contemplate death in equal measure. After all, we cannot have one without the other.

creative process, creativity, determination, imagination

Beginning: Thinking Into Being

Christa Avampato

“Our thoughts are forming the world.” ~ Yogi tea bag

Our inner confidence and conviction is more important than we realize. If we see a situation that we want to improve, we do actually have the ability to create the change we wish to see. Our thoughts form companies and organizations; they build programs, products, and services. Everything we touch, see, and experience is the creation of nature or someone’s imagination. Why shouldn’t the world have the gift of your vision, the gift of living up to your expectations?

 

health, wellness

Beginning: You as Healer

Christa Avampato

“Your identity is not equivalent to your biography. There is a place in you where you have never been wounded, where there’s a seamlessness in you, and where there is a confidence and tranquility.” ~ John O’Donohue via Daily Good

Healing is seen as a miracle, in stark contrast to the events that cause a need for healing. I’ve always liked the idea of healing being a result of our own doing, something that we can attain just as quickly as we attain injury. I think that the miracle of healing comes from tapping the part of us that John O’Donohue talks about in the quote above. We tend to focus so much on our wounds, and for good reason – they have much to teach us. The well of healing and safety that resides in us, side by side with the wounds, is just as important and often overlooked.

Real healing, lasting and plentiful, requires that we recognize both the wounds and the place in us that cannot be harmed. That latter piece is the one we access in a mindful practice – yoga, meditation, running, writing, service. It is the place where our light resides, the light we recognize in ourselves and honor in others. It is the place that we can retreat to regardless of the outside conditions. It’s our connection to the Universe’s wisdom, to everything sacred, to our own divinity. Go there.

weather

Beginning: Us and Irene

Christa Avampato
Phineas: "Wake me when Irene leaves."

Phineas and I hunkered down in our apartment in New York to ride out Hurricane Irene. We were not asked to evacuate (though if we had been, we certainly would have complied). We stocked up on water and food, filled pots, pans, and bowls with water in case our plumbing went out. We stayed away from the windows as we’re up on the 17th floor of our apartment building. Phone and computer fully charged, movies and books at the ready. The girl scout in me was at her preparedness best.

Irene didn’t pack the punch near us that many feared, though Phin is never happy about any amount of rain. I keep telling him we should be grateful it wasn’t worse; he’s not having it. He just toddles off to his bed and flops down with a dramatic “hmph!” (See photo above.)

Pictures on TV from Long Island look awful – downed trees and flooding – though electricity for most seemed to be on. The storm went a bit further Eats which saved us in New York City. I am still glad that the alerts were sent out for all of us. I’d always prefer to hope for the best and be prepared for the worst. With these unpredictable types of storms, you never know what can happen.

Truth be told, I mind the rain and gray weather far less than most. I like the feeling of being insulated. I used the bad weather as a time of introspection and I’ve been able to stay productive. Lots of reading and writing, planning for Compass Yoga, and catching up with people via phone and online. It was a good reminder to me of how important it is to take time out and hunker down once in a while, and it shouldn’t take a hurricane warning to do so.

creative process, creativity, yoga

Beginning: A Creative Update On Compass Yoga

Christa Avampato
From http://www.zastavki.com

Despite the rainy weather over the weekend, I was able to focus a lot of my creative energies toward Compass Yoga. The site has been updated and the service and product ideas are flowing! The Board and I have been talking through some new ideas to spread our efforts to a wider audience. Here’s a brief update of how we’re doing:

Board:
The Compass Yoga Board of Directors is in place and in a constant dialogue on how to shape the organization going forward. Check out their bios and personal mission statements here.

Partnerships:
We’re moving ahead on the partnership front with classes. Beginning October 7th, there will be a weekly yoga and mediation class at the VA Hospital in Manhattan for the medical staff. We’re in talks with several other potential partners where we hope to offer classes and programs by the end of the year.

Incorporation:
We are grateful for legal counsel and support from New York Lawyers for the Public Interest and the incredible probono attorneys who have volunteered to help us. We will be working closely with them in the coming months on our nonprofit incorporation and tax-exempt status.

Online resources:
In the coming months, Compass Yoga will be releasing a set of online multi-media resources that help to fulfill our mission to “provide yoga to populations who have a specific healthcare need for the therapeutic healing that a yoga practice offers.” There is no shortage to the ways in which we can offer up our teachings, unencumbered by geography and language.

New York Public Library classes:
I am thrilled to announce that Compass Yoga‘s members of Karmi’s Angels are taking over the classes at the Bloomingdale branch of the New York Public Library. As my work on administrative work on Compass ramps up and I turn a good deal of my attention toward our Veteran Program, Sarah and Suzanne offered to divide up the classes at the NYPL. In September, the classes will shift to Thursday evenings from 6:00pm – 6:55pm and will continue to be free and open to all.

Other areas under development:
Compass is currently working on securing PR representation to spread the good word on our good works. We’re also putting together a few potential workshop ideas, scouting out funding resources, and continuing work on the book project for yoga and finance.

Want to get involved?
Join us! Check out the “Get Involved” section of our website and connect with us on Facebook.

apple, inspiration, technology

Beginning: What Steve Jobs Taught Me

Christa Avampato

There are plenty of people out there playing pundit about the fate of Apple now that Steve Jobs has stepped down. When I heard about his resignation, I at first felt a real sadness and then my attention quickly turned to gratitude for what he gave to all of us. While Apple and its team have drawn so much benefit from his leadership, I also realized that just by watching and studying him and interacting with the products and staff of his company we have gained so much. We owe him so many thank yous.

Here is a start:

Never give up; rely on your intuition – After his board sent him packing, it would have been very easy for Jobs to slunk off into obscurity. Instead, he started another company and invested in this little start-up called Pixar. Jobs trusts his gut above all else, and that authenticity that “knowing beyond knowing” has paid off in spades for me, albeit spades that have been hard-won.

Be unreasonable – There are several business legends about how infamously unreasonable Steve Jobs is. He is a relentless, restless seeker of quality and he demands of everyone else what he demands of himself – excellence.

People don’t know what they want and we can’t expect them to – If Apple got bogged down in consumer product testing and consumer product research, it’s unlikely that we’d have any of the magic Apple has built its brand on. In a time of user-generated content / input craze, Apple took a completely different approach – its products shaped the desires of consumers rather than the other way around.

Invent by alleviating pain – Apple has always paid close attention to what gives consumers pain, and then invented products and services to alleviate it. It is a brilliant point-of-view from which to invent, and it has won them consumer loyalty by the boatload.

Everything is possible; you can make something out of nothing – Jobs took his interest in personal technology, got out a white piece of paper and built Apple from nothing but a handful of computer components. For any entrepreneur with little more than a dream, Steve Jobs shows us what’s possible with passion.

Our future really is in our hands – I suppose Steve Jobs could have played it safe as a young man and gotten a job working for someone else. Instead, he paved his own road from the very beginning and never looked back. He knew his future was actually safer (and more fun!) in his own hands rather than in anyone else’s. His story will be one that’s told and emulated for many generations to come. I can’t wait to see all of the new Steves that spring from his inspiring path.

celebration, change, grateful, gratitude, growth, yoga

Beginning: Curative Energy

Christa Avampato

“You can channel your pain into helping others and spread a tide of curative energy throughout the world.” ~ Daily Good

I wrote earlier this week about the desire to be grateful for my hardships, to become so thankful for them that I would never think of trading them for any different history. Shortly after that post, I watched the PBS series This Emotional Life, and as if by some stroke of synchronicity learned that there is a growing body of research that points to gratitude for hardships as the potential silver bullet for a lifetime of happiness. Can our pain be the source of what breaks us down and what completes us?

Compass Yoga is taking a cue from Daily Good. We are generating a tide of good will and compassion. We’re attempting not to help our students escape, but to help them use what they’ve got, everything they’ve got, to help them heal themselves from the inside out. I’ve heard the saying that every difficulty contains its own answer. I am beginning to see just how much value our pain has, and the recognition of that value is what begins to help us make meaning of the hurdles in our lives.

I would never wish trauma on anyone, though slowly I’m also beginning to realize that I may be getting to a point where I would never wish mine away because it’s too valuable for me and now through Compass Yoga, too valuable to others. Acceptance and healing don’t have to be elusive goals. We can draw them to us and embrace them. They are ours for the taking.

books, feelings, film, happiness, medical, medicine

Beginning: This Emotional Life

Christa Avampato

I’ve been a fan of Dan Gilbert since I read his book Stumbling on Happiness about 5 years ago. Kelly, a dear friend and one of my housemates in graduate school at Darden, suggested it to me after it was assigned in one of her leadership classes. I’ve always been fascinated by happiness, primarily because it seemed like such an elusive thing to me for so long, though this book helped to intellectualize happiness for me, to start to realize the profound influence of the mind-body connection.

Last year, Gilbert put together a 3-part series for PBS called This Emotional Life. It’s roughly a 6-hour documentary exploring relationships, facing fears, and rethinking happiness in the context of these two complex areas. It’s remarkably well-researched with experts from a wide array of fields sharing their personal and professional stories. There is a piece on veterans in the second part of the documentary that features, Penn, my other alma mater. Another piece of my history fell into place. The documentary was so successful that it has now become a multi-platform source of information on the topic.

This documentary opens our eyes to taboo subjects – depression, therapy, anxiety, and fear – and makes the subjects palpable. It opens up the communication channels and shows that when we can discuss these subjects in a public forum, there is a great amount of freedom to gain. Truth be told, these are not isolated instances that happen to a minority of people. It is wide-spread, and there is help available.

As someone who has struggled, mostly in silence, this these types of issues, I’m grateful that so many top scientists and researchers have taken such an interest in tackling this difficult and uncomfortable subject. Coming through the other side of the issues, I feel so empowered to be able to help others on this journey to rebuild their own vitality. This Emotional Life reminded me of how much work there is to do and how much relief Compass Yoga can bring to so many who need it.

1

Beginning: Beyond Transcendence

Christa Avampato

From http://kidologist.com/2010/11/
“In Buddhism, there’s a really beautiful sentiment about strife: The souls that love us the most are the ones who are our greatest adversaries in life.” ~ Brian

Can we be grateful for really difficult circumstances? And I don’t mean being able to articulate sayings like “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” or “every cloud has a silver living”. I’m not asking if we can adopt the idea of “chin up”, “look on the bright side”, or “see opportunity in every difficulty”. I want more than that.

Brian and I have started to talk about the possibility of actually being grateful that my childhood home was in a near-constant state of distress. This isn’t making lemonade out of lemons. This is about actually wanting the lemons. I’m not there yet, but the idea is something that I could never even conceive of before now. If it were in my power, I would go back and change my circumstances. I would roll the dice again, knowing that my life as it is now would not be the same had I grown up in a house with less trauma. I’m still too angry, even after all these years, to let that dream go just yet. I still feel cheated.

I feel that I am moving toward transcendence, very close to being able to release the guilt, shame, remorse, and yes, anger. In order for me to fulfill my dharma, and in turn to release my father from his in this lifetime, I’m going to have to move beyond forgiveness. There is more work to do after forgiveness. In order for both of us to be truly free, I will eventually need to bid my dad’s spirit a fond farewell with a sincere thank you for teaching me exactly what my soul needed to learn, exactly when I needed it. That’s a tough thing to imagine coming to fruition, but I’m going to give it a try.

nonprofit, yoga

Beginning: Meet the Compass Yoga Board of Directors

Christa Avampato

Last Monday, Compass Yoga held its first Board of Directors meeting. I had been anticipating that moment, dreaming about it, for many months now. I am beyond lucky and exceedingly grateful to these talented people who have made the decision to walk this path with me and build something truly extraordinary. I could go on and on about their gifts and achievements, but I will let them speak for themselves through their bios. To learn more about why they joined Compass Yoga, please click here.

 

Rob Lorey
Rob has over 20 years of performance and business experience in the entertainment industry. He has exhibited extensive leadership as a director, producer, and union liaison. In addition to his artistic work, he has taught theatre to professionals and children for over 15 years developing workshops, seminars, and master classes. Rob received his Masters of Social Work from Hunter College School of Social Work in 2009. As a social worker, he has developed programs within the LGBT community for teens and seniors, worked in hospice for the past five years, and mentored at risk youth while connecting them to college opportunities within the CUNY system. His current career endeavors involve social policy and advocacy.


Amy Rebecca Marsico
Amy has spent 15 years as a stage manager, producer, assistant director, and writer in both non-profit and commercial theater.

She holds a master’s degree in Conflict Transformation and Peacebuilding with a concentration in trauma healing. Amy is interested in the convergence of the arts and conflict resolution fields. As a trainer and facilitator, she has designed workshops for youth that employ the arts to teach trauma awareness skills, encourage resilience, address root causes of conflict, and build capacity through dialogue and education. She has also designed workshops for women and girls that explore gender and power issues.

Amy is the co-author of Transforming Trauma: An Interactive Role Play for Community Leaders and Caregivers – a piece that was used by the STAR program (Strategies for Trauma Awareness and Resilience) to train civil society leaders on how to recognize and address trauma in the aftermath of a terrorist attack. She also wrote and compiled an Arts Resource Guide on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict for the US Campaign to End the Israeli Occupation.

Amy’s experience as a volunteer for the International Rescue Committee, where she helped resettle refugees from Sierra Leone, inspired her to work with people who have survived war and conflict. She has traveled to Bosnia where she had the privilege to speak with refugees and internally displaced persons about their experiences, and she has conducted interviews with refugees from Lebanon, Palestine, and the DRC. She spent six months at the UNHCR, the refugee agency of the UN, where she helped to develop the Heightened Risk Identification Tool, managed an awareness-raising project on child participation and was a contributing writer for several manuals and information sheets, including the Age, Gender and Diversity Mainstreaming Guide. Amy is a roster member for the United Nations Volunteer Programme.

 

Lorenzo E. (Lon) Tibbitts
Lon is the Manager of Strategic Operations Planning for American Express Global Payment Options and also serves as Chairman and Director for Rite Care of Utah, a non-profit provider of free speech and reading therapy for children with speech or reading disabilities aged 2-12 with offices in Salt Lake City and Ogden, Utah. He has previously served as Director of Advertising for Copperfield Publishing, President of Shoreline Ltd. and LaMirada Inc., both small venture capital firms, SVP of Utah Printing and Group Manager of the Granite Mountain Records Vaults.

Lon was educated in Literature and Economics at the University of Maryland and Brigham Young University. He and wife Lana are the proud parents of three feminists and one son – all grown and doing great things.

Lon loves to chase little white balls around pristine green spaces, hike in the mountains of Utah with Lana, do anything on, in or by the sea, and spoil his grandchildren. His passion is creating a freer, more open and democratic world for his children, grandchildren and their peers all over the world.

 

Michael Vito
Michael is a strategy and operations professional combining traditional business and financial analysis with understanding of the needs of firms and government programs evaluating development of and investment in sustainability strategy. He monitors developments in renewable energy generation and efficiency technology, NGO activity, and environmental policy in the US and Asia.

Michael is a graduate of the Darden School of Business at the University of Virginia, an accredited LEED Green Associate, Asia Society member, and active participant in Net Impact. He is currently pursuing ongoing studies of Mandarin Chinese and Japanese.