Month: April 2011

care, community, relationships, religion

Beginning: Why and How to Start Understanding the Muslim World

Christa Avampato

From http://truereligiondebate.wordpress.com
Last week I had the great good fortune to see the documentary Koran by Heart at the Tribeca Film Festival. The film tracks the lives of several young people who are contestants in “the world’s preeminent Koran recitation competition in Cairo, where Muslim children come from across the globe to perform in front of a panel of prominent judges. Contestants as young as 7 years old are ranked against kids more than twice their age for both their comprehensive memorization of the 600-page text as well as their improvised melodies.” It is a stunning feat to witness. There is one more screening today at the festival – details here.

The film got me thinking about how little I know about the Muslim world, despite my efforts to consume news until my brain can’t hold any more information. It’s so complex with so many layers. Even classifying it as “the Muslim World” is a disservice. The diversity among Muslims is so vast and spans across so many cultures, languages, nations, and factions. I was reminded of Dr. Lu’s saying that “you can’t understand the Eastern world with a Western mind.” The same is true of understanding Islam. It requires us to shrug off our biases and prejudices, and see the religion and its believers in their own light.

Why? Can’t we pretend that our heads of state will take care of this issue? Can’t we go on just living our U.S. focused lives without delving in to this other complicated part of the world that seems incomprehensible to us at first blush? Sure. You could absolutely pretend it’s not there. However, the world of Islam is increasingly becoming tied to our own national security, indeed our global security as a whole. There are as many as 7 million Muslims living in the U.S., and the number is growing – particularly in urban areas. 1.2 billion people around the world practice Islam. That’s a big, big number.

They are a voice in our society and that voice deserves recognition and understanding, just like yours and just like mine. Additionally, the religion at its core is a beautiful way of living. Too often we associate it with extremism and terrorism. It’s so unfortunate. At its heart, it prescribes a peaceful, harmonious existence and has much to teach us whether we follow its belief or not. Understanding the perspective of another always, always helps create a better world, and isn’t that what we’re all after?

But how? How does a well-intentioned, curious, Western mind begin to understand Islam and its place in the world? I wondered, too, and put this list of resources together in the hopes that it may begin to tear down the wall that for too long has existed between us. I hope you find these resources helpful.

4 Resources to Begin Learning About Islam
1.) Leap of Faith by Queen Noor of Jordan

2.) A 5 minute video that introduces Islam to non-Muslims

3.) Website dedicated to introducing the beliefs of Islam to non-Muslims

4.) The book Introduction to Islam by Frederick Mathewson Denny

celebration, choices, clarity, courage

Beginning: You Already Have What You’re Looking For

Christa Avampato

“What we see is mainly what we look for.” -Unknown via Tiny Buddha

I recently had a conversation with someone who said nothing ever goes her way. She’s been way down in the dumps for years. I have my occasional bad day, perhaps even a bad week. By all means, feel your feelings. Just make sure that the negative ones that don’t help make your situation any better have a hard expiration date.

How to “snap out of it” (without a smack in the face a la Moonstruck)
If my bad mood persists beyond a few days, I force myself to get out my computer and start clacking away on a list of great blessings I have to be grateful for. And if that doesn’t work then I turn to the news and start taking note of all the people in the world who have a much harder life than I do. It’s not long before I’m kicking myself for wasting any precious moment feeling sorry for myself. I lead a charmed life – I work for it, and still I know so many of my blessings found their way to my door by chance. As Joan Ganz Cooney famously said, “I am always prepared to be lucky.” It’s the best way to live.

We all get what we settle for
My friend, Trevin, and I continuously joke that we are the kind of people who hope for the best and expect the worst. To a large extent, I think that is still true. I like to feel prepared for whatever this crazy world throws my way. One of my business school professors once commented to me that the secret to his happy life was low expectations, which led him to constantly be surprised and delighted. I have a hard time arguing that idea from a logical point-of-view. However, the yogi and teacher in me asks that I aim higher. Disappointment while upsetting at first does lead to transformation and growth, two things I aspire to do all the time.

Exactly what you want is already at hand
A truth I’ve come to know is that the more ardently you keep your eyes and ears peeled for what (and who!) you want in your life, the more likely you are to recognize it when it crosses your path. It’s true of love, friendship, career, luck, and hope. It’s quite possible that you can will the life you want into being the life you have. It’s more likely that the life you want is already accessible to you in some way if you pick your head up, take look around, and grab the opportunities right under your nose.

Seek, and you will truly see all that is attainable.

books, career, courage, encouragement, experience, leader, leadership

Beginning: You Have All the Power You Need

Christa Avampato

“New seed is faithful. It roots deepest in the places that are most empty…And so it came to be that over time this field, opened by burning – this field, fallow and waiting – drew just the right strangers, just the right seeds to itself. What is this faithful process of spirit & seed that touches empty ground and makes it rich again? Whatever we set our days to might be the least of what we do, if we do not understand that something is waiting for us to make ground for it, something that lingers near us, something that loves, something that waits for the right ground to be made so it can make its full presence known.” ~ Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes

I read Dr. Estes book Women Who Run with the Wolves many years ago. It remains a faithful guide all of these years later. Its pages are well-worn and yellowed. I regularly read its opening passage, particularly when I’m afraid and lonely. It’s stories quite literally began to shape the person I am today. They empowered me to realize that I can carve my own road toward a future of my design.

So it was with great excitement that I discovered that Dr. Estes had written another book, this one a novela entitled The Faithful Gardener: A Wise Tale About That Which Can Never Die. I read it in one sitting. Dr. Estes tells the tale of her Uncle who got to the end of his rope and wanted to take his power back. He set a field aflame as an invitation for new life to seed there.

In our lives, we collect clutter. Relationships that no longer serve. A job that no longer interests us. Commitments that no longer provide fulfillment. Slowly, drop by drop, our lives sometimes become something we never wanted them to be. This can leave us feeling paralyzed, regretful, and embarrassed.

This is exactly the myth that Dr. Estes dispels by sharing her Uncle’s story with us in The Faithful Gardner. One day last week, I arrived at a meditation class feeling powerless and through the meditation realized that the only one taking away my power was me. Dr. Estes explains this same principle in her book – we are all more powerful than we give ourselves credit for being.

This same idea reared its head over the weekend as I watched the documentary Stress: Portrait of a Killer. In several scientific studies, it has been found that if you perceive yourself at the bottom of the pecking order in life then your health and longevity are severely compromised. If you want to live a happy, healthier, longer life, it is critical that you find an outlet that allows you to feel in control of your own destiny. And that outlet doesn’t have to be your career or household. You could be the captain of your softball team, the leader of a charitable project, or a responsible dog owner. Somewhere in your life you need to have the opportunity to take the reigns, and if that’s not happening naturally in your life by some wonderful twist of fate, then you need to make it happen for yourself.

There’s no reason to play the victim. We all have the ability to build better lives, for ourselves and for those around us. You don’t need more schooling or experience or permission. It is yours for the taking. The only question is courage and confidence. Can you stand up and be counted? Will you make your voice heard? Can you release everything in your life that doesn’t benefit you for the sake of making room for something that truly matters? Your life literally depends on it.

music, television

Beginning: Why I’m in Love with NBC’s New Show, The Voice

Christa Avampato

I was tweeting up a storm last night watching NBC’s new show The Voice. In the past I’ve not been a fan of many reality TV shows – they always seem to highlight personality traits that I feel like we should be working on banishing, not praising. The Voice is truly exceptional in concept and the hefty amount of inspiration it leverages. Here’s what I found so refreshing about the show:

Coaching, not judging
The 4 coaches, Adam Levine, Cee Lo Green, Christina Aguilera, and Blake Shelton, are exactly that. They are there to impart their wisdom and experience to their chosen teammates. It’s mentoring at its best.

It’s not about looks
The coaches are choosing their teams solely based on vocal ability, not looks or stage performance. They are looking for raw, true talent and not pretty faces. Finally, we’re getting back to what matters most in music: the music.

The back stories are incredible
There is a real human element to these contestants. They are singing their hearts out and I love that their stories are given to us before we ever see them step out on stage. Some of them actually made me tear up, and with the context of their personal history, their music is that much more meaningful.

Humor
I loved watching the coaches duke it out for their team members of choice. And all the while they keep their senses of humor alive and well, which only bolstered their heartfelt comments. “Serious, but fun” lives up to the show’s promise to viewers.

Carson Daly
I love that he’s backstage with the contestants and their loved ones. He’s a gentleman, supportive to all (whether they get a coach of not), and collecting those beautiful histories of the contestants to share with us. He’s perfect.

Apple’s in on it
The opening number of Crazy done by the 4 coaches is not to be missed. Immediately I went to iTunes and saw that The Voice was the opening page of the iTunes store and that I could purchase all of the singles from the contestants, as well as see specialized play lists created by the coaches. Brilliant and a surprising delight.

American Idol, you’ve been trumped. This show is going to change the game in reality TV. Well done, NBC. Already looking forward to next week!

teaching, yoga

Beginning: You Have to Go Where You Can Help

Christa Avampato

http://www.flickr.com/photos/revcyborg/5228173/
“Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So… get on your way.” ~ Dr. Seuss

I’m just about 4 months into my year of writing about new beginnings. This writing intention has brought a lot of clarity to every aspect of my life and as I look back on these four months of posts, I’m truly surprised to see all that I’ve been able to begin and how much I’ve been able to share about the beginnings of others. I feel more inspired by the topic of beginning than I have ever felt about any writing intention. Perhaps this is because the very word “beginning” carries with it one of my very favorite sentiments – hope.

With all these new beginnings, I’m focusing on how and where I’m of the best possible service. This means that some endings are within sight now, and with every ending there is some kind of sadness, some kind of mourning and loss. Endings are deaths, and they deserve to honored. Without them, we wouldn’t have new beginnings.

In the past few months I’ve been finding a number of opportunities to share my yoga practice and teaching. Some of those experiences have been more satisfying than others. Many times, I’ve been able to find people whom I can truly help. I am the right students for their needs at this time. And other times, I’m exerting a lot of effort to no avail. I just don’t have what some students need. I am not the right teacher for them, and so I need to release them in the hopes that they can find a new teacher.

This fact became apparent over the weekend as I taught a regular gig I’ve had for some time now. It was actually my very first teaching assignment after I finished my 200-hour certification. It’s a very long distance from my house and I’ve learned a lot there. I’m grateful for the time I’ve been able to spend with those students and all that they’ve taught me, but I can’t take them any further. I sat in the treatment room after both classes, took a look around and felt a profoundly peaceful feeling. My work is done there.

This is in complete contrast to the teaching I’ve done at Columbia Medical Center, Columbia Law School, at the New York Pubic Library, and with my handful of private students. In those situation I feel alive, and I know I have more to offer. In the situation over this past weekend, I could feel the book closing, could see the credits rolling. I just knew deep within my heart that I was needed elsewhere by other students.

For a moment I felt very sad. I wanted to make a bigger impact there. I had hoped for a longer amount of time with those students. I was reminded of a scene in You’ve Got Mail when Jean Stapleton says to Meg Ryan that closing her book store and starting fresh is the brave thing to do. The right thing to do. It was time to move on. And then I also thought of The Gambler by Kenny Rogers. “You gotta know when to fold ’em.” That made me giggle, but he’s right.

In my meditation later that day, I made sure to give thanks to this wonderful opportunity that was now past. I thought of each of my students and how much they helped me grow. They opened my eyes to the power of therapeutic yoga and all the gifts that it has to offer. I’m grateful that I had the time there, and will always be grateful for it. And now with that door closing, I see a new window opening already. We’re all needed somewhere.

books, inspiration, yoga

Beginning: Meet Matthew Sanford

Christa Avampato

Matthew Sanford
As a yoga teacher, I’m very interested in getting involved with trauma recovery. I have some personal experience with post-traumatic stress disorder having endured it for a period of a few months following a fire that happened in my apartment building in September 2009. My experience doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of the trauma that so many people go through not for months, but years, decades, lifetimes. My yoga and meditation practices have been with me now for over a decade, and they have never failed me. They helped me forgive, others and myself. They helped me grow and thrive, when I thought my very best hope was only to survive from day-to-day. Now having experienced their tremendous power, I want to gift them to others as a way of paying forward my gratitude.

My Uncle Tom recently sent me the URL for Matthew Sanford’s site. I had never heard of Matthew but from the moment I read the first line of his story I knew he would become a teacher for me: “It took a devastating car accident, paralysis from the chest down, and dependence on a wheelchair before I truly realized the importance of waking both my mind and my body.” Now a yoga teacher, author, speaker, nonprofit founder, and sustainable investor, Matthew’s wisdom gained from his own experience is transformative for anyone who comes into contact with him through any medium. He shares his own traumatic and harrowing story of tragedy and redemption, and how that journey brought him true awareness.

I encourage you to take a look at his website, read his book, and attend one of his events. He has much to share and we have much to learn.

Easter, holiday, hope

Beginning: Easter for All of Us

Christa Avampato

When I was a child, Easter was my favorite holiday. I would get more excited for Easter than I would for Christmas. I got wear a pretty dress and pretty shoes. We’d pack into the car and be to my grandmother’s house in Connecticut by noon. Some of my relatives would meet us there. We’d have a meal and then could dive into our over-sized Easter baskets made up for each of us by my Grammy.

I remember Easter as a time when the flowers were out, the grass was green, and the promise of summer was nearby. Though at the time I didn’t truly understand the religious significance of Easter, I certainly understood the energetic significance. For me, as for so many, it was a time of healing. A time when we could equally hold great sorrow and much rejoicing. We could look disappointment in the eye knowing that there was a promise of redemption and rebirth not too far behind. Easter taught me that for everything there is a season.

Though I no longer formally celebrate Easter, I always keep its lessons close to my heart. No matter where we are, no matter what’s happening to us, there is always a hope that tomorrow will shine brighter than today. That’s the promise of Easter, no matter what religion we place our faith in. Happy Easter to all!

meditation

Beginning: My First Meditation Class at New York Zen Center for Contemplative Care

Christa Avampato

I first heard about the New York Zen Center for Contemplative Care (NYZCCC) at the Integrative Healthcare Symposium in March. On Monday, I visited the center and attended my first meditation class and dharma talk. We talked about living a dual experience, an especially relevant topic as we sift our way through these confusing times. We have the ability to hold happiness and sadness, excitement and fear, longing and contentment.

I have a regular meditation practice that has been so helpful in helping me to find more peace and contentment. After giving up on a meditation practice several times in my life, it feels wonderful to finally understand how powerful this discipline is. I used to think of it as wasting time just sitting around. Now I look forward to it as a gateway to make sense of my life, particularly when it comes to understanding a dual-experience.

On Monday night at NYZCCC, I showed up the class feeling a lot of stress from my day, so stressful that I began to have a dull, throbbing pain on the side of my head. My spine felt stiff and in general I felt uncomfortable in my skin. Though I have experienced the transformative effects of meditation, I thought this class would be less than valuable. I stayed anyway; I figured if I’m there I might as well just check it out and see how it goes. If nothing else, it might give me some good writing content.

My meditation began as usual, trying to get comfortable on this foreign meditation cushion, surrounded by people whom I didn’t know and conducted by a leader who was convinced I was someone he knew. (I’ve never seen him before in my life.) I closed my eyes and tried to clear my mind. The stress from the day was very much with me. I felt small, as if my voice and my point-of-view didn’t matter. In a word I felt powerless but very much wanted to feel empowered.

A few minutes into my meditation, I began to feel my spine growing and felt as if my body was moving backwards. My hands began to tingle and feel disproportionately large compared to the rest of my body. Every breath drew more energy into my chest. The aching in my head was suddenly gone.

A while later, though I honestly don’t know how long I was in that state, I opened my eyes. I immediately looked at my hands to see if they were larger. They weren’t though I could still feel that tingle from my meditation and I actually thought for a moment that from the corner of my eyes I could see a faint outline around my hands that made them appear much larger.

All this to say that meditation is a practice in the truest sense of the word. Through our experience, we can tap into an existence much larger than ourselves. If we ask for help, we will receive it, perhaps not in the form we expect. There is a mystery embedded in meditation that cannot be explained through logic and reason. It cannot be articulated. Only felt.

business, change, creativity, leader, leadership

Beginning: Leadership and Boundaries

Christa Avampato

“We are our boundaries.” ~ George Simmel, Sociologist

I read this quote on a blog by one this blog’s supportive readers, bwinwnbwimusic. The quote showed up just as I was thinking about a project I’m currently involved with. The Universe is so wise; it knew exactly the encouragement I needed. The project is not fun – difficult partners and a difficult team to manage. I was nashing my teeth a bit over how to proceed. I felt like my efforts, and even my creative abilities, were blocked. I was stuck, and quickly time was flying by.

Meditating on boundaries
I decided to sit down, close my eyes, and really focus on this quote from George Simmel. If I feel blocked, there must be some boundary I am trying to cross over and that boundary doesn’t have any give. What is the boundary? What lesson is it teaching me? How do I either traverse it, or find an authentic way to incorporate it into my plan?

Finally, an answer surfaces
Yes, the partner on this project is difficult. Yes, there’s a leadership vacuum and a team that is not proactive. The boundary though, the real boundary that I was wrestling with, was me. I’m the one who needed to grow and change because I am the only individual I really have control over.

It starts and ends with me – that’s leadership
The partner was difficult because I had not set firm guidelines with them. There is a leadership vacuum and I will need to fill it. The team is not proactive and so I need to be more prescriptive with them. I have the ability to influence and if the project is to turn out in a way that I’m proud of, then it is up to me to find a way to motivate, inspire, and bring all the disparate pieces and parties together. In this way, I am learning that leadership requires the close examination and then acceptance of boundaries. It’s back to the oldage of once I accept myself as I am, then I find that I can change.

education, election, politics

Beginning: Shifting Our National Priorities in Favor of Children

Christa Avampato

I saw a sign in a store that read, “I can’t wait for the day when we have an education budget that can’t be cut and have to hold a bake sale to fund our weapons program.”

As the landscape of the 2012 Presidential Race starts to take shape, I’ve been thinking a lot about our society’s priorities and how backward so many of them seem. This sign popped up in my life as if to encourage this train of thought. Why is funding for education so susceptible to cuts while re-engineering our defense budget is always off the table? Too many kids have too few options. In several neighborhoods only blocks from where I live, kids have two choices of how they spend their time: the classroom or the streets.

Why do we have such a hard time taking the long view? Why can’t we see that healthcare and a good education are the fundamental building blocks for every productive member of society?

Why are social services seen as expendable when they are literally a matter of life and death for far too many Americans? Does that mean we’re saying those people are expendable, too?

Why does the personal wealth of a candidate have more to do with the viability of their campaign than their ability to empathic and charismatic?

And why is it that we have a possible candidate in the running who says on national television, “let other nations fend for themselves”?

If we want our country and our world to change, we need to change our own communities first and that will require shifting our priorities. The focus has to be on what we do for our children. We have to have their best interests in mind if we hope to have a country and a world we’re proud of.