I first heard about the New York Zen Center for Contemplative Care (NYZCCC) at the Integrative Healthcare Symposium in March. On Monday, I visited the center and attended my first meditation class and dharma talk. We talked about living a dual experience, an especially relevant topic as we sift our way through these confusing times. We have the ability to hold happiness and sadness, excitement and fear, longing and contentment.
I have a regular meditation practice that has been so helpful in helping me to find more peace and contentment. After giving up on a meditation practice several times in my life, it feels wonderful to finally understand how powerful this discipline is. I used to think of it as wasting time just sitting around. Now I look forward to it as a gateway to make sense of my life, particularly when it comes to understanding a dual-experience.
On Monday night at NYZCCC, I showed up the class feeling a lot of stress from my day, so stressful that I began to have a dull, throbbing pain on the side of my head. My spine felt stiff and in general I felt uncomfortable in my skin. Though I have experienced the transformative effects of meditation, I thought this class would be less than valuable. I stayed anyway; I figured if I’m there I might as well just check it out and see how it goes. If nothing else, it might give me some good writing content.
My meditation began as usual, trying to get comfortable on this foreign meditation cushion, surrounded by people whom I didn’t know and conducted by a leader who was convinced I was someone he knew. (I’ve never seen him before in my life.) I closed my eyes and tried to clear my mind. The stress from the day was very much with me. I felt small, as if my voice and my point-of-view didn’t matter. In a word I felt powerless but very much wanted to feel empowered.
A few minutes into my meditation, I began to feel my spine growing and felt as if my body was moving backwards. My hands began to tingle and feel disproportionately large compared to the rest of my body. Every breath drew more energy into my chest. The aching in my head was suddenly gone.
A while later, though I honestly don’t know how long I was in that state, I opened my eyes. I immediately looked at my hands to see if they were larger. They weren’t though I could still feel that tingle from my meditation and I actually thought for a moment that from the corner of my eyes I could see a faint outline around my hands that made them appear much larger.
All this to say that meditation is a practice in the truest sense of the word. Through our experience, we can tap into an existence much larger than ourselves. If we ask for help, we will receive it, perhaps not in the form we expect. There is a mystery embedded in meditation that cannot be explained through logic and reason. It cannot be articulated. Only felt.
Published by Christa Avampato
IN BRIEF
Author, journalist, digital product manager, and licensed New York City tour guide. Creator and host of NYC's Secrets and Lies. Alumna of the University of Pennsylvania (BA), the Darden School of Business at the University of Virginia (MBA), Arizona State University (Biomimicry), and the University of Cambridge (MSt in Sustainability Leadership).
I build digital media platforms, report on urban climate resilience and biodiversity, and produce live narrative experiences that connect communities to history, nature, and place.
THE DEEP DIVE
My work centers on a single thread: building systems and stories that foster deep connection to our shared world. Across digital streaming, environmental reporting, and live civic storytelling, I design experiences that help people understand complex ideas and the environments around them.
DIGITAL PRODUCT STRATEGY & MEDIA LEADERSHIP
At Carnegie Hall, I serve as Digital Product Manager, leading product strategy, operations, and technical delivery for the video streaming platform Carnegie Hall+. I translate artistic mission into scalable, high-performance streaming architecture that reaches audiences globally. Previously, I led agile product and delivery teams across operations and compliance at American Express, managed Broadway theatrical productions and national tours, and guided strategic initiatives across cultural institutions.
ENVIRONMENTAL JOURNALISM & AUTHORSHIP
As a freelance journalist, I investigate how living systems, urban infrastructure, and human culture intersect. My reported features on urban decarbonization, biodiversity, coastal resilience, and biomimicry appear in publications including Smithsonian Magazine, The Washington Post, Mongabay, Natural History Magazine, and Foreign Policy Magazine. In fiction, I write the Emerson Page young adult novel series, alongside upcoming historical fiction and nonfiction works on New York history, mythology, and human resilience. I also write Togetherhood, a LinkedIn newsletter focused on urban ecology and community restoration, and co-host the podcast Frameworks in the Wild.
LIVE EXPERIENCE & CIVIC STORYTELLING
As a licensed New York City tour guide and live event producer, I transform urban landscapes into shared narrative encounters. I created, produce, and host NYC's Secrets and Lies, an interactive live storytelling series staged across cultural landmarks including the New York Transit Museum, the South Street Seaport Museum, and the historic tall ship Wavertree. I also design and lead site-specific walking tours exploring coastal ecology, food history, and neighborhood evolution, often with partners at Climate Week NYC and the Natural Areas Conservancy.
DOUBLE OR NOTHING MEDIA
Through my independent production studio, Double or Nothing Media, I develop ventures across media, ecology, and public history:
Digital Products & Strategy: Architecting scalable digital platforms, streaming experiences, and operational models for mission-driven institutions.
Environmental Reporting & Publications: Delivering long-form reporting, books, and newsletters grounded in climate resilience and regenerative design.
Site-Specific Live Storytelling: Producing immersive live shows and educational walking tours that engage public audiences in community history.
CONNECT
Website & Production Hub: doubleornothingmedia.com and christaavampato.com
Newsletter: Togetherhood on LinkedIn - linkedin.com/newsletters/togetherhood-7273771832221089792/
Instagram & Threads: @christarosenyc
Emerson Page Novels: emersonpagebook.wordpress.com/
View all posts by Christa Avampato
In the beginning, perhaps, I had a quid pro quo meditation experience–the benefits equaled or out weighed the effort; that said, it took years before those benefits matured into the special benefits meditation offers up to the meditator–practice, practice, practice! Disclaimer here though, in my old age I haven’t continued that practice. Nice post.
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So glad you liked the post and thanks for sharing your story on meditation. It is most certainly a practice!
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Christa,
What an amazing post. Congratulations for a job well done.
When I first started to practice meditation, I gave up. It did not feel right at all. My body was hurting and I could not sit still in one place. I would fall asleep, suddenly. In a trance, my neck would jerk, back and forth, and that really hurt me.
With time, however, meditation started to grow on me. I felt more comfortable in my skin. It was not foreign to me anymore.
Finally, I can confidently say–after years–that I feel comfortable with meditaiton. It is like a second skin. Daily, I have to sit down and practice meditation. I cannot do without this oxygen, this nectar of my life.
I feel happy that it has worked out for you too. Having said that, there will be good days and there will be bad days. What is important is to continue with the practice. Never give up and never give in. With practice, you will get better.
Hey, you know what? I gave up on meditation so many times, but look at me now. If I can do it, anybody can do it. Cheers.
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