I am in the midst of preparing an essay for a contest with the theme “the day I grew up.” I’ve been racking my brain, conjuring up old memories, to get to that one realization that defined the end of my childhood and the beginning of my adult life. Trouble was I couldn’t think of any one moment. It seemed to happen gradually – actually, I think I’m still in the midst of that transition. Or at least I thought I was until today.
Two events happened to me today that signaled to me that I had turned the corner – leaving my childish insecurity and lack of confidence behind, tossing it off in favor of the confidence and self-assurance I have always admired in adults. I recognize that it’s odd that it would take me 33 years of living to make the leap. Better late than never.
Event one: I was told that I may have to stop writing, or at the very least have my writing approved and heavily edited, if I am to continue my association with an organization that I am currently involved with. It seems that they think my writing reflects upon them, even if I’m writing about a subject entirely unrelated to them.
That means that this blog would go silent and that my Examiner.com column would grind to a halt, just as I am finding my own voice and rhythm. I would have to stop doing the one activity I love most in the world – writing – because someone else demanded it. Without a second thought I decided that if I cannot have my writing life and be associated with that organization, then that organization would cease to be a part of my life. As a child, if my mother told me to stop jumping on the bed, I stopped jumping on the bed. As an adult, I won’t stop doing something I love because someone else say I have to.
Event two: I was asked to put my name on a request that I cannot support because “that’s the way it’s always been done.” Even though the request doesn’t make any sense, and everyone involved with the request agrees it doesn’t make sense, I was still being asked to push it forward. I will admit that I got a bit exasperated. My emotions got the best of me. I’m a passionate person.
As if someone was asking me to dishonor my name and my sense of judgment for the sake of being compliant to a rule I disagree with, I was handed the dare: say yes, even though you disagree, or face the consequences. A child would flinch at the thought of the consequences. I chose the consequences. I know the value of my name and judgment, and they’re worth so much to me that I’d rather suffer any consequences that their defense may trigger.
When I was a kid, I always imagined that growing up would be this phenomenal achievement. It would be a welcome release. And it is, sort of. But it’s a little lonely, too. Today, I shut some doors. I made a few decisions that cannot be undone. And while I am confident that they are the right decisions for me to make, those doors are still a little painful to shut. It means there’s one less avenue, one less path to take to wherever it is my life is headed.
It’s almost as if I didn’t even make the choices in the two events today. The world made them for me. It handed me a set of circumstances, already knowing which direction I’d take, in order to push me forward. Fate’s a funny thing. On one hand, it’s comforting to know that the world has something in store for us that’s far better than anything we can dream up on our own. On the other hand, we have to cede control to a grander plan that we don’t entirely know. One thing is for certain: in order to grow up we have to let go of all the “might-have-been’s” to focus on the “all-that-will be’s”.
Published by Christa Avampato
IN BRIEF
Author, journalist, digital product manager, and licensed New York City tour guide. Creator and host of NYC's Secrets and Lies. Alumna of the University of Pennsylvania (BA), the Darden School of Business at the University of Virginia (MBA), Arizona State University (Biomimicry), and the University of Cambridge (MSt in Sustainability Leadership).
I build digital media platforms, report on urban climate resilience and biodiversity, and produce live narrative experiences that connect communities to history, nature, and place.
THE DEEP DIVE
My work centers on a single thread: building systems and stories that foster deep connection to our shared world. Across digital streaming, environmental reporting, and live civic storytelling, I design experiences that help people understand complex ideas and the environments around them.
DIGITAL PRODUCT STRATEGY & MEDIA LEADERSHIP
At Carnegie Hall, I serve as Digital Product Manager, leading product strategy, operations, and technical delivery for the video streaming platform Carnegie Hall+. I translate artistic mission into scalable, high-performance streaming architecture that reaches audiences globally. Previously, I led agile product and delivery teams across operations and compliance at American Express, managed Broadway theatrical productions and national tours, and guided strategic initiatives across cultural institutions.
ENVIRONMENTAL JOURNALISM & AUTHORSHIP
As a freelance journalist, I investigate how living systems, urban infrastructure, and human culture intersect. My reported features on urban decarbonization, biodiversity, coastal resilience, and biomimicry appear in publications including Smithsonian Magazine, The Washington Post, Mongabay, Natural History Magazine, and Foreign Policy Magazine. In fiction, I write the Emerson Page young adult novel series, alongside upcoming historical fiction and nonfiction works on New York history, mythology, and human resilience. I also write Togetherhood, a LinkedIn newsletter focused on urban ecology and community restoration, and co-host the podcast Frameworks in the Wild.
LIVE EXPERIENCE & CIVIC STORYTELLING
As a licensed New York City tour guide and live event producer, I transform urban landscapes into shared narrative encounters. I created, produce, and host NYC's Secrets and Lies, an interactive live storytelling series staged across cultural landmarks including the New York Transit Museum, the South Street Seaport Museum, and the historic tall ship Wavertree. I also design and lead site-specific walking tours exploring coastal ecology, food history, and neighborhood evolution, often with partners at Climate Week NYC and the Natural Areas Conservancy.
DOUBLE OR NOTHING MEDIA
Through my independent production studio, Double or Nothing Media, I develop ventures across media, ecology, and public history:
Digital Products & Strategy: Architecting scalable digital platforms, streaming experiences, and operational models for mission-driven institutions.
Environmental Reporting & Publications: Delivering long-form reporting, books, and newsletters grounded in climate resilience and regenerative design.
Site-Specific Live Storytelling: Producing immersive live shows and educational walking tours that engage public audiences in community history.
CONNECT
Website & Production Hub: doubleornothingmedia.com and christaavampato.com
Newsletter: Togetherhood on LinkedIn - linkedin.com/newsletters/togetherhood-7273771832221089792/
Instagram & Threads: @christarosenyc
Emerson Page Novels: emersonpagebook.wordpress.com/
View all posts by Christa Avampato
Compromise, whether it is willing or unwilling is a difficult pill to swallow. Since I've been reading you blog, I've gotten to know somewhat as a person, along with your passions, likes and to some extent dislikes. Somewhere you have to take the stand, draw the line in the sand, and make the decision "I'm not going to take it any longer" (borrowed from the movie Network)Never let them compromise your spirit…when one door closes, another always opens (I feel like I'm the King of Cliches today). But don't lock the door just in case someone needs to come back inYour readers will follow…so write what you want to
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Hi runner52,It really is amazing to wake up one day and find that we have the confidence to stand up for ourselves without a second thought!
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Very well said Christa. You certainly have a talent with the written word.
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Thank you so much, Ryan! How did you find my blog?All best,Christa
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