Month: November 2007

Tibet, travel

The tracks to Shangri-La

Christa Avampato

There are many places that I dream of seeing, and then there are some that I feel would fulfill some of my life’s greatest wishes. Paris was one. Vienna was another. And then there was also South Africa. One that I have wished to see for quite some time is Tibet. The trouble is that getting there is a bit of a bear. Or, at least it used to be.

For a year, a rail line has linked Tibet to the rest of China. This is phenomenal news for those who want to see Tibet and would prefer to avoid the arduous plane or bus ride to the area. And the tourism numbers support what a revelation the rail line is – 3.2 million people visited Tibet the first 9 months of 2007, a 67% increase over last year. And there are concerns that this rail line is not only bringing tourists but bring destruction to Buddhist culture. This makes me wonder if my curiosity and interest in the region will actually harm the region itself. Can tourism and popularity wipe out a way of life?
This is of course a constant struggle for environmental conservationists. While we want people to take a keen interest in other cultures, people, and area of the world, there is also a delicate balance to guard to protect the very thing driving the interest. Technology has so many benefits, and yet there are some very powerful disadvantages, one of them being a movement toward sameness across cultures.
I do dream of seeing Tibet some day, of spending time there wandering the mountains, talking to Tibetans, and sharing with them how much their perseverance and strength and belief in happiness have influenced me and the way I live my life. I wander now if by the opening of the flood gates I have missed the window to actually ever see the real Tibet.

The picture above is a Tibetan couple stands at the end of the tracks that link the rest of China to the platform of the Lhasa train station in Lhasa, Tibet. It can be found at http://www.usatoday.com/travel/destinations/2007-11-28-tibet-railway_N.htm

New York, retail

Wishing you a Bergdorf Holiday

Christa Avampato

I’ve had every career aspiration known to man. When I was in elementary school I wanted to be a paleontologist. When it was announced that Christa McAuliffe was going to be the first non-astronaut in space, I took that as a sign that I should join the space program. Doctor, engineer, attorney, film maker, naval officer, train conductor. And for a while when I first moved to New York City many years ago, I thought I was destined to be a window dresser. I fantasized about working into the wee hours of the morning, creation works of art for all of New York to see the next morning. The movie Mannequin was a tiny bit too real for me.

Have you been to the display windows at Bergdorf Goodman? If you live in New York City, I would suggest that you stop reading this post and run over there right now. 5th Avenue and 57th Street. They lush, stunning, artful displays. The best in the city, and I can’t believe they haven’t gotten highlighted more often in the “window gazing” guides published in NYC publications. During my window dresser career aspiration phase, I would sometimes go by there just to stare at the windows, make notes and drawings of the displays, and then imagine what I might do differently. I went into the store once – this was a bad idea. No one even spoke to me; clearly I didn’t belong there, and everyone knew it. I rode the escalator all the way to the top, turned around, and went back out the door to the windows. I really should have stopped there.

Don’t let the snootiness of the store staff dissuade you from seeing the windows. They are a spectacle. And if you’re outside of NYC, never fear. I’ve posted photos of this year’s displays on my photoblog at : http://www.flickr.com/photos/21231722@N03/sets/72157603297522599/. And they’re so fabulous and the company takes such pride in them that they have a dedicated website with archives – http://www.bergdorfgoodman.com/store/catalog/template/catB7.jhtml?itemId=cat243842&parentId=cat243864&masterId=cat000006&_requestid=85688.

The greatest accomplishment of the windows – they bring a sense of magic to the holidays. And couldn’t we all use a little more magic for a while?
business, Marcus Buckingham, strengths, talents, work

Building the Mississippi

Christa Avampato

I’m a big fan of management books and I consider it a personal mission to help people I know do what they’re good at. I also would not deny that I generally advocate for ignoring rules, other than ones that would land you in jail or are necessary to protect people’s happiness and freedom. Wrap all these up and your have two books by Marcus Buckingham, First, Break all the Rules and Now Discover Your Strengths, both of which I love, admire, and hold up as examples of how to conduct my career and my life.


The most powerful statement I’ve heard him make in various speeches is simple, concise, and such good advice that I wish there was a way to telecast it to anyone in the working world. “Find a small stream in which your strengths can flow and then see if you can carve it into the Mississippi.” Incredible. This statement and adherence to it turns the whole notion of job performance, corporate culture, and career planning on its head. It puts the job seeker in total charge and in one short sentence gives you a complete action plan:


1.) Find what you’re good at
2.) Find a company that has a niche, however small, that can be filled well by your strengths
3.) Work like hell to blow out that niche that makes you a rock star


I’ve been continually thinking about Barry Schwartz and The Paradox of Choice almost to a point of obsession in my efforts to simplify anywhere and everywhere I can in my life. The three steps above eliminate all of the guess work and maneuvering that goes on when people try to climb the corporate ladder. Just know what you do well, find a place that wants you to do what you’re good at, and make it your duty to use those strengths to create value. Think of the richness, gratification, and satisfaction we can find at work with this mindset. It’s how people at Google must feel everyday…and entirely accessible to each of us.
holiday, stress

Wishing for a stress-free season

Christa Avampato

While out shopping for others this holiday, the temptation is high to reward myself with a little something too. Rather than get myself something of material value for the holidays, I decided to do myself a big fat favor – I’m cutting stress out of the holidays. Seriously. I’m giving 13 holiday gifts, most of which I already have. I didn’t travel for Thanksgiving, but spent it in NYC about 10 blocks from my apartment. I’m going to my mom’s an hour and a half drive away on the 25th. And then I’m likely spending New Year’s at a house party less than a block from my apartment. In between I’ll see friends, enjoy the lights, the special Christmas exhibits, window gazing. I’m looking to put the magic back into the holiday.

It’s as easy as it sounds. I made the decision, after years of not really enjoying the holidays all that much for a variety of reasons, that I was really going to love this time. And the best way for me to have a good time is to mitigate the stress. I spend a lot of time taking on other people’s energies, good and bad alike. This is part of the downside of being a sensitive person. I counteract some of this draining with yoga, or meditation, or seeing friends, or taking long walks in the park. My gift to myself is time to do whatever I want – a gift that really does keep on giving.

dreams, work

Dreams minus logic

Christa Avampato

For years I have wondered about my weirdo dreams, which I have more often than not. They don’t make sense. They seem to be a manifestation of clumping a lot of the areas of my life together in a way reminiscent of Jackson Pollock’s painting style.

Many publications have recently picked up this curiosity about dream creation – the New York Times, Real Simple Magazine, even Business Week. It turns out that when we dream, the area of our brains that control logic and reasoning goes to sleep, too. It unplugs, allowing other areas of our minds, and the thoughts they contain, to run rampant. When the cat’s away….

So I think about this everyday when I wake up, wondering if my illogical mind has revealed anything that would have otherwise been stifled by reason. This morning, I woke up from a dream in which I was negotiating hard for a salary with a new employer. They agreed to pay me $585,000 / year. Rather than jumping for joy, I said simply, “I am not going to be in the office after 6:00pm.” Can you believe that?

This dreams tells me a few things. One, my unreasonable mind believes in the very reasonable idea that I need a balanced life. Two, I am clearly thinking about money and becoming concerned about my finances. This makes sense, too – authorities are considering raising the fare on the GW Bridge to $8 a day and my school loans have entered re-payment. The days of deferment are gone for good. The other thing that this dream reveals is that I am clearly thinking about what’s next, and trying to decide what I’d like to see on the horizon. My boss planted this seed a month or so ago, asking me to consider where I want to go with my career so that he can help me get there. This is quite possibly the greatest show of support any boss has ever shown me. It’s truly a remarkable proposition, and I appreciate that this personal support in a work environment is rare.

Despite logic’s need for a rest, my dreaming mind seems to be holding up its end of reason, and teaching logic a thing or two in the process.

holiday, New York, retail, work

Black to Green

Christa Avampato

Our economy may be in for tough times. The growing number of labor strikes, unexpected bank write-offs, mortgage defaults, and mounting debt are enough to make us think the sky may actually be falling. No where is this worry more alive than in retail during the holiday season. The sheer dollar amount of holiday spending is an indicator of consumer confidence, highly scrutinized by every analyst with airtime.

I was thinking about this at 4am on Friday as I took the subway down to Times Square to help our store staff on the day that kicks off the holiday shopping season. Black Friday, or Green Friday as we call it, is a day a lot of people look forward to. It’s a tradition for families and friends to stand on-line outside the stores they think will have the best deals.

I am not one those people – I have never been inside a retail store on the Friday after Thanksgiving. I completely avoid them until about the second week of December. Better yet, I get onto my computer and never have to contend with retail check-out lines and disgruntled shoppers who grapple with out-of-stocks and too-long wish lists from their families and friends.

This year, though I would be on the front lines in arguably the craziest retail center in the world. I arrived at 4:15, half an hour early so I could familiarize myself with which product categories were on which floors. This was a handy list to have. I felt glad to be able to help guests get those special items they had been looking forward to purchasing and gifting. There was a rush of people for a few hours and then the traffic calmed down to a reasonable level. Stocking shelves, showing guests to items they couldn’t find on their own, checking prices, clearing aisles, restocking shelves. All in a day’s work. By far the greatest contribution I could make was to say hello, smile, wish shoppers a happy holiday, and ask them to visit our .com site if we were out of stock on the items they wanted. They seemed generally appreciative to pause for a moment and answer the questions, “how are you today?”

The thing about being a retailer is that you learn to be a better customer. You read circulars cover to cover, you look for department directories, you utilize price checking machines, and match item numbers from shelf tags to packages. By being a retailer, even for a short period of time, you become a retailer’s dream guest.

That said, many people at the store 5am have never been retailers. They were crazed. “Where can I find Dora?” “Where are your video games?” “What about dance mats?” “Do you carry Barnyardigans?” (Huh??? – what exactly is a Barnyardigan? I soon found out it’s a licensed property from Nickelodeon.) And the number of bags – some people dragging around 5 large bags behind them filled to the brim with boxes. There were a few grumps – when I didn’t know the price of an electronic keyboard off-hand, one women wished me “A merry f*****g Christmas.” I smiled and wanted to say, “Same to you” but I stopped short after the smile and helped her to a price checking machine just across the aisle. ‘Tis the season to be nicer than you would be other times of the year!

When I was in the middle of helping one guest, 3 others would ask me for help. This was a good sign to be this busy. Maybe the economy isn’t crumbling as quickly as we may have thought. I remembered how many times I’ve done that when I need help in the store. I should have been a more patient guest.

Once the crowd died down, I headed out to take look at other retailers. My favorite experience by far was the the Apple Store on 5th Avenue and 59th Street. Judging by the crowd, a lot of people shared my view. They have designed a way to anchor floor models so you can try out every item they sell in store. You can make a one hour appointment with a MAC personal shopper to help you pick the perfect holiday gifts. And the store is strikingly clean, airy, and open for a small space, so a bit of that holiday stress has room to dissipate.

Another brightly spot in service was Old Navy. Knowledgeable staff, great deals, and mesh bags galore. Not bad for a store that has to content with an association with the ever-more-boring The Gap and Banana Republic.

The shopping frenzy is continuing this weekend. I am watching it intently for signs of hope. Tomorrow is another big shopping day – Cyber Monday. The day when working folks decide Christmas shopping on-line is time better spent than on work. I love it. Shoppers have aligned so tightly on this that they created another holiday tradition of their own. It’s so strong that a boss can’t complain about shopping during the workday tomorrow. After all, they’re only helping the economy.

happiness, worry

Different lenses

Christa Avampato

My friend Monica sent me an email for Thanksgiving with a simple message: “Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up.” I had never thought of emotions as having a specific direction, though it makes sense. Sorry does have its root in the past, worry has us looking around to see how we are being judged or what may be coming at us, and faith casts our gaze upward. I wonder if the converse is true as well – can the direction we choose to look incite certain emotions?

If I want to embody faith and hope, then I may spend more time looking forward, especially during times of reflection. Looking out into my future so to speak, and imagining happiness and success, however I define those. I have a tendency to beat myself up for past mistakes, big ans small. Spending energy being sorry, especially for things that are long since past forces us to look back. This is especially damaging since once we do apologize and forgive, there is nothing more we can do about the past.

I’ve written on this blog before about my tendency toward worry. A certain amount of worry can keep us on our toes, keep us motivated. But there’s a tipping point where worry can paralyze us from ever moving ahead. It’s okay to look around, as long as it’s done in moderation of looking up.

And that balance applies to all emotions. Experiencing a full range of emotions keeps us empathic, humble, and appreciative of the good times. Some people think that the goal of Buddhists is constant happiness. From the texts I have read, Buddhists are more interested in moving through an emotional array, experiencing all that life has to offer. Physically an emotionally, it seems that we would all do well to have a full range of motion.

books

Judging people by their covers

Christa Avampato

My latest blog favorite is omnivoracious.com. And it’s about – you guessed it – any topic under the sun, all centered around books and literature. They ask readers to send in pictures of their bookshelves for possible publication on their blog’s banner.

People are what they read. So I took a closer look at my own shelf.

From left to right:
Herodotus
The Smallest Majority
The Best Things to Do in New York
Running with Scissors
Leading Minds
700 Sundays
The Complete Book of Running for Women
Begging for Change
Long Walk to Freedom
The Namesake
The Tipping Point
Stumbling on Happiness
Yoga, The Poetry of the Body
A Year of Magical Thinking
The First Five Pages
A Reason for Hope
Four Noble Truths
The Elements of Style
Hard Laughter
The World According to Mr. Rogers
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland
A Walk in the Woods
Einstein, The Life and Times
What I Know Now, Letters to my Younger Self
Women Who Run with the Wolves
Dreams of My Father
Bird by Bird
Oh The Places You’ll Go
John Adams
Jefferson and Monticello

To be fair to myself, I am a fan of lending out books to friends so a few key ones are missing. Though this gives a pretty well-rounded picture of who I am and what I care about. As my friend Catherine pointed out, “That’s quite an eclectic mix, miss.” And yes, it is. Fittingly for a pretty eclectic person.

So what does this shelf say about me? I am a fan of history, political, social, and personal. (It was one of my majors in undergrad.) I’m a writer, or at least aspire to be. At heart, I am still a kid. I practice yoga and am spiritual. I am a liberal. I enjoy traveling. I care about the environment. I love NYC. I care about the world and would like some insight into how to manage it. And the variety of topics, writers, and cultures says something all its own. I am searching – for truth, for inspiration, for a different, new way to see what’s around me.

And even more striking to me is what’s missing. If I take a look at all of the titles and consider the stories between their covers, they are all about hope. You won’t find one sob story among them. A decade ago, there would have been a very different mix. Maybe a little bit sadder, a little bit more lonely. A little less confident. This current stash shows great progress.

Our books are a form of self-portrait. Building these bookshelves is a good check-in, a solid way to reflect on where we are in this moment. Our books are our self-portraits.
happiness, writing

On Happiness: I’m thankful in writing

Christa Avampato

I spend some time every day being thankful. Truly. I commute to and from New Jersey and despite the fact that I love NPR, there are times when the reception goes out or I am looking to just spend some time with myself. Because of our extremely warm autumn, there are still colorful leaves on the trees – the first time I can ever remember this being the case. The yellows and oranges and red give such a warm glow to my commute. Once I turn off the highway and onto the country roads that take me to my office, I shut off the radio and just look at the trees. It’s the best part of my morning.

I am grateful and thankful today for my family and friends, for my job, for my ability to write, and for people who are actually interested in reading my writing from time to time. I am thankful for living in NYC, for my apartment, and my neighborhood. I am thankful for my education, for my curiosity, for my ability to imagine and create. I am thankful for my health and my yoga practice, and the personal freedom I have to truly control my own destiny. I am most thankful for my ability to generate and sustain happiness, to smile even when there may not be much to smile about.

The writing down of blessings helps us to be thankful, the same way writing down frustrations and disappointments helps us to bear them. The record keeping boosts our memory, helps us reflect, and yes, helps us to give thanks, loudly and often.

New York, retail, thanksgiving

On NYC: My first grown-up Thanksgiving

Christa Avampato

This year is the first time that I am ever spending Thanksgiving away from my family. They are all sunning themselves in Florida, and oddly enough, I am sunning myself on the Upper Westside of Manhattan. It’s as warm here as it is in Florida. Over 60 degrees tomorrow, and green leaves abound in Riverside Park, a.k.a my park.

While I miss the fam and their always crazy antics, I am thankful for not having to fly to my turkey this year. I’ll be able to sleep late tomorrow, watch the parade on TV (despite the fact that it rolls past me several blocks to the east – too crowded and I don’t think anyone wants me showing up on Central Park West in my jammies), and then stroll up about 10 blocks around 4pm to my friend, Lisa’s, for a lovely catered dinner devoid of stress. I have been looking forward to this for months.

The real reason I remain here at the heart of consumerism is because at 4:45am on Friday I will be surrounded by frantic shoppers at our Times Square store. To be fair, I volunteered for this, choosing the location and the time. And to be honest, I am looking forward to it. A friend at work today told me I should make it a party. Whoop it up! Have some fun! Pretend everyone in the store is my best friend. I like this idea.

Truth be told, I have never set foot in a store on Black Friday. I’m beginning to wonder if I am agoraphobic. Just thinking about the crowds is making me nervous. The idea of getting up, standing in line at an ungodly hour, all to save a few bucks makes me scratch my head. Why do people do this?

By nature I am obsessed with comparison shopping. Now being in retail, that obsession is even more heightened. It turns out that you don’t just save a few bucks on Black Friday. You save a boatload of bucks! Some of these deals are unbelievable. Plus this year there are added on-line sales that are released on Thanksgiving night. You’d think some of these places were giving it away. It’s incredible.

So while I wish I was chowing down on turkey with my lovely, though exceedingly dysfunctional, family and playing with Sebastian, my sister’s adorable daschund puppy, I’ll settle for the magic of NYC, not flying on the busiest travel day of the year, and Friday morning embedded with my fellow bargain-hunters. I’m sure that 4:45 Friday morning will be just the beginning of a long list of blog post topics from the front.

Until then, I wish you a safe, happy, and relaxing holiday wherever you find your turkey.