“What comes from the heart, goes to the heart.” ~ Samuel Taylor Coleridge
I’ve been teaching a seniors yoga class for a few weeks and the enrollment is full. One woman in the class recently told me that she has been having terrible insomnia. I asked if she knew why and she told me that her son, her only child, was murdered 2 months ago and so far the investigation hasn’t turned up any leads. My heart broke, and yet I knew I had to be strong for her.
In that moment, I decided to change my class on a dime. I created the class, posture by posture, word by word, for her. By the end of the class, I could feel everyone moving a bit closer to healing. As my teacher, Cheri, always says, we are all healing from something.
I used to think that being a yoga teacher meant to create a sequence of postures, breath work, and meditation techniques. Now I know that my job is to show up, listen, and give the students what they need to be whole. What I give from my heart, goes straight to theirs.
How many times have you churned your mind over and over to come up with a solution to a problem? And how many times have you found that taking your eye off of the proverbial ball, actually helps you to see the ball more clearly so you can hit it out of the park? This happens to me all the time. I read a lot of articles and books about the science behind creativity – it’s one of my favorite subjects to study – and from the research it appears to be true for many people.
So if we know that letting go of a problem will actually help us solve it, why do we hang on so tightly? Why do we have a problem relaxing and trusting in the process in which creativity works most effectively? It could be that we’re worried that while relaxation has helped us solve problems in the past, it will somehow fail us this time. It could also be that we are programmed in this society to believe that hard work equals self-worth. Without working hard, at every moment possible, will we somehow be less worthy?
I actually love to work hard. I love the feeling of accomplishment, of feeling like my effort matters. But here’s what I don’t love – the mania that comes from having a schedule that is so ridiculously packed that I have to remind myself to breathe. To balance this tug-of-war, I break projects apart into phases and give myself what I need in each phase to do my best work.
When I am working on the creative portion of a project, I give myself downtime to solve problems. I do trust the process of creativity, but I also give myself some guidelines. I get a few hours of downtime here and a few there, and I keep checking in with myself regularly to see if any new inspiration has arrived. When I am in the implementation phase and need to get something built, I really focus to give myself more structure and less downtime so I can do a lot of work while I’m in the groove.
Like anything, it comes back to needing balance – give both sides of your brain the opportunity to strut their stuff. They need different fuel because they do different types of work. If you’re taking too much downtime, or not giving yourself enough, try switching it up and see what happens. Creativity is all about experimentation.
“You break out of the box by stepping into shackles.” ~ Jonah Lehrer, Imagine: How Creativity Works
It’s a bit of a morbid visual but Jonah Lehrer’s quote made me pay attention.
Have you ever had the thought that goes something like this: “If only I had (blank), my life would be so much easier?” I have this thought several times a day, and when it pops into my mind I stop, breathe, and keep going. I’m sure somewhere in that breath there is a silent prayer for help to someone somewhere. Most of the time I don’t get that (blank) that I wish for, but to quote the Rolling Stones, I do get what I need. And often what I need is constraints. (No shortage of those lying around!)
Jonah Lehrer, and many other creativity researchers, make the case for loving constraints. Some go so far as to ask us to feel grateful for them. Why? They light a fire under us. If we had all the time, money, and resources in the world, would we really use them wisely? There’s at least the slight possibility that we would squander them to some degree.
I’ve seen this happen in many large companies. We get used to big budgets and flexible launch dates. Too used to them and it’s ultimately a curse.
When I worked in theatre, we were constrained in almost every area, especially by the hard deadlines. If there was going to be an audience on Tuesday at 8:00pm, then there was no way we could launch late. It forced collaboration, cooperation, and dedication from all parties involved. In theatre, the good of the many always outweighs the good of the few or the one so the few or the one had better get on board or exit stage left. That might sound brutal, but the curtain rises. The show goes on because of constraints, not in spite of them.
Maybe you’re working on a project right now that has constraints you wish you didn’t have. Rather than resenting those shackles, take a moment to recognize what they give you rather than focusing on what they take away from you. Creative work is a series of trade-offs. We get something and we give something. It is a sacred exchange.
“The wind that causes real change is the wind that consistently blows in the same direction.” ~ The I Ching
Distraction is everywhere. It’s easy to get sidetracked from the things we care about most because the world has a way of encroaching upon our to-do list. All of a sudden we find ourselves invested in things that don’t bring us joy and fulfillment. We go places and do things because we think we should, not because we want to.
I used to be guilty of this behavior more often than not. When I left my job in June, I also made an about-face in a number of other areas of my life. I only invest my time and energy when and where I can give my whole heart. Though this sounds easy, it was difficult to make these changes because a number of things had to come to an end. I let go of some relationships that sapped my energy. I withdrew from activities that felt more like obligations and less like joy.
Saying goodbye and breaking old patterns is not easy. During the times that I feel sad about these endings, I remember how much they’re needed. They create space for the people and activities that really matter. They give us an opportunity for something and someone new that better aligns with who we are.
If we consistently focus on generating more happiness and it will become easy to see what parts of our lives need fixing. Sometimes to get to the fun stuff, we have to go through the tough stuff first. It’s worth the effort.
“Being still does not mean don’t move. It means move in peace.” ~ E’yen A. Gardner
So often, especially in yoga, we think stillness means that we must not think or act. We are told that stillness is the gateway toward some sense of enlightenment and connectedness. Truthfully, we can never be fully still. Air will move through our lungs, blood will pump through our veins, and impulses will travel through our nervous system. We are beings of movement.
Stillness is steadiness. It helps us move with intention, purpose, and confidence. When we go somewhere, we go with our whole heart. And once we know the feeling of traveling and moving in this way, then we know that deep peace that no outside circumstance can disrupt.
In stillness, we show up in the world as an open vessel, allowing the energy and knowledge around us to pour into us. We are able to parse what matters and what doesn’t with efficiency, kindness, and the deep wisdom that we are connected to everyone and everything around us.
In stillness there is no separation between us and our environment. Instead, it all weaves together and we begin to find the ways in which we can affect its rhythm and path. Suddenly, as the world converges in stillness, we recognize just how great an impact we can have.
This morning I am happily unplugging from my devices and taking a field trip up to City Island, a tiny fishing village in the Bronx.
Did your face just crinkle in confusion? You read that right – a small bucolic fishing village is nestled into the shoreline of the Bronx. I’ve been fascinated by its existence for several years and I finally blocked out the time for a visit. My friend, Moya, is joining me for the adventure.
I’ll be taking pictures and noting points of interest that we find during our day of meandering. Tomorrow you’ll have the full scoop. Get out there and enjoy your Sunday!
“The best people possess a feeling for beauty, the courage to take risks, the discipline to tell the truth, the capacity for sacrifice.” ~ Ernest Hemingway, American author
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the colorful characters that comprise my life, thinking of friendships and relationships old and new, past and present. When I consider the ones who truly inspire me, whose mere presence lifts me up to new heights, their qualities match those from the Hemingway quote above.
They are the ones who have a real sense of design, and not necessarily design of products, services, events, and the like, but a sense of design for life.
They are the ones who courageously step out of the fray to do something good and important, not just for themselves, but for the world as a whole.
They are people who tell the truth with grace and dignity, even when it’s hard to hear, who stand for something and stand up for others who need support. They are also people who recognize that if you lift others as you rise, rather than put others down, that everyone rises together faster and with greater ease.
They are people who give up a bit today – whether that bit is money or a fancy title or praise or that pesky bit of ego – for the sake of building something greater than themselves. They understand that to win in the long-run often requires some kind of loss in the short-term.
These are the people I admire, the people who inspire me to keep being the best version of me every day. They are people who recognize that we may not always succeed, but that we always have the option to try and try again. They are my heroes.
“A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves.” ~ Amelia Earhart
Kindness has the ability to change hearts. And once you change someone’s heart, you can begin to change someone’s mind.
They will open up in beautiful and unexpected ways. They will begin to feel empowered and support the dreams and hopes of others. They will see that despite all of the tough circumstances in the world, there is light. No matter how difficult today is, someone with a kind heart will always work to make tomorrow better.
“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.” – Connie ten Boom, Dutch writer
People are worried about me. Some are afraid I am not making enough money. Some are sending me job descriptions just in case I’ve realized freelance work isn’t for me and I’d like to go back to working in a corporate office the way I was 3 months ago. I appreciate their concern and always answer these concerns the same way. I tell them I am just fine, not to allay their fears, but because I truly am fine. This is the life I wanted and it’s working.
Yesterday, I secured a wonderful contract through June 2013 with the Joan Ganz Cooney Center (JGCC) at Sesame Street to work on their National STEM Video Game Challenge. The JGCC is a digital media research lab within Sesame. (You can get more info on the program here – http://stemchallenge.org.) Pursuing my passion for tech that improves the world wouldn’t have been possible on this scale if I hadn’t taken a chance to go out on my own.
Yes, I still have to hustle. Yes, I am still working on lining up some additional assignments so that I can fully cover all of my expenses and not dig into my savings, but perhaps begin to add to those savings again. (If you can help on those fronts, I’m all ears!) I have all the tools I need to make this happen. I’ve been preparing for it all my life, and I know deep down that this is the path I want and need to take. I spent years acting on a plan to make this happen.
We can worry about tomorrow. We can let fear and anxiety stop us from doing just about everything. They are tough hurdles to clear, but if we are to ever doing anything extraordinary with our time, we have to go on in spite of fear. We have to gather our worries and burn them up to generate fuel for the work we are meant to do.
“Nobody is bored when he is trying to make something that is beautiful, or to discover something that is true.” – William Inge
Engagement and inspiration are the greatest motivators on Earth. With them, we persevere through difficult times, we rise to meet every challenge, we persist even in the face of probably defeat. They help us understand that we are a part of something greater, that we are part and parcel to a grander plan.
Today, consider the beauty of your work. Discover some new layer of truth. And if beauty and truth are not immediately apparent on the surface, dig deeper. Find them – in the work itself, the people around you, the cause your are supporting, in you as you learn, grow, and evolve as a result of the work. No matter what you’re doing today, beauty and truth are lying in wait for you somewhere. Shine a little light on them and watch how they begin to take root in you.
