forgiveness, free, future, growth

Leap: We All Need Forgiveness

Christa Avampato
From Pinterest
From Pinterest

“There is a hard law. When an injury is done to us, we never recover until we forgive.” ~ Alan Paton

Forgiveness is the hardest task before us and yet it is the most necessary. We can’t grow or learn without it. We can’t put our best selves out into the world without it. Forgiveness is the key to fulfilling our potential.

A long time ago, I had a boss who taught me a truth about the act of forgiveness that still lives at the forefront of my mind. One of the people on our team had been very rude to him in front of a large group of people. I was furious with the team member’s behavior. My boss was clearly hurt and embarrassed and I felt the team member had been cruel, insensitive, and ungrateful for the efforts my boss put into his job.

A couple of days later this same team member came into our office. I almost threw him out but he was there to see my boss so I held my tongue. The team member quietly said how sorry he was for his behavior. My first thought was “well maybe you should state that publicly just like you did your rude comments.” My boss graciously accepted his apology and the entire exchange was over in about 30 seconds.

“That’s it?” I asked my boss once the team member left. “You’re letting him off the hook with a barely audible ‘I’m sorry’?”

“Yep,” said my boss.

“Why?” I asked. Now I was even more annoyed.

“Christa, it’s so hard to ask for forgiveness. And if someone has the courage to apologize then I should have the courage to forgive them.”

I was stunned. In that one moment he taught me everything I ever needed to learn about forgiveness. We are all capable of asking for it. We are all capable of giving it. And that exchange has the power to save us all.

community, generosity, gifts

Leap: How to Help Sandy Hook Elementary School and Newtown, Connecticut Right Now

Christa Avampato

newtown-newtitleI know that many of you have been looking for ways to help in response to the tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut. I’ve been searching high and low, and finally CBS This Morning ran a segment on how to help no matter where we live.

Below are links to efforts that are organizing volunteers, funds, and assistance. Lend a hand, lend your heart, lend some help. It’s the best holiday gift you could possibly give this season.

career, creativity, learning, technology, time

Leap: Why I’m Learning to Code

Christa Avampato
From Pinterest
From Pinterest

For a few months, I’ve been taking mini coding lessons at on Codecademy. They’re hard for me – I’m learning a new language, turning my thought process on its head, and getting familiar with a whole new way of structuring my creativity. I’m not good, but I’m getting better. This weekend, I received a new book that’s geared toward teaching the very basics of Python, a popular programming language.

I have no interest in becoming a programmer so why would I devote time to gain a basic understanding of coding?

1.) Our world is becoming increasingly influenced by technology. Knowing the basics of coding will soon be as necessary in the workplace as knowing how to use Microsoft Office.

2.) It’s difficult for me. By forcing myself to learn something that doesn’t come naturally to me, my mind must look at challenges in new ways and create new neural pathways. Just as we work muscles so that they get stronger, we must also work the brain.

3.) It grows my understanding as a product developer. There’s noting worse than a business people who ask the world of tech teams without having a clue exactly what their requests entail. I saw this all the time in my old job. Hardly anyone on the business side ever truly understood what they were asking of others. I want to do better.

4.) All it takes is time. Not so long ago, I would have had to enroll in a class to learn these skills. Now there are sites like Codecademy that offer these lessons for free and online. There are excellent manuals and books that will walk beginners through the basics. If it’s there to learn, then why not give it a try?

Are you working on learning something new? Would love to hear how the adventure is unfolding for you!

adventure, career, choices, creativity, time

Leap: Stop Your Career Regrets Before They Start

Christa Avampato

166140673722941520_2Vk6HH2M_bI read this article in the Harvard Business Review yesterday. The author surveyed 30 professionals from 28 to 58 to ask them about their deepest career regrets. I was surprised by the results. In short, they wish they hadn’t taken jobs based on money, had quit earlier to start their own businesses, and had trusted their gut when it came to their careers.

These results encouraged me. As we wind down 2012, I’m making some decisions about where my career will go next. Should I keep freelancing? Should I take a full-time or long-term contract role that has some flexibility so that I can still teach and pursue my creative projects?

I only know one thing for sure – I’m glad I made the leap on June 15th. I’m glad I stepped away from my corporate job to try out this new chapter of my career. This HBR article confirmed for me that no matter what happens next, I will never have to wonder what would have happened if I trusted my gut, quit my job, started my own business, and followed my dream instead of a paycheck. I did all of those things and everything turned out just fine.

We can’t always logically explain our actions. On paper, it looked like a less-than-smart idea to leave my very good job for the sake of following my heart. I just knew when I came back from India that I had to take this adventure and that I needed to take it now. The decision defied any sense of reason. I just knew that I had to take this time and that I had to take this chance, no matter what the outcome.

I much prefer the risk of trying something new over the risk of regret.

choices, creativity, decision-making, experience, future, time

Leap: Give Up and Keep the Wheels Turning

Christa Avampato
From Pinterest
From Pinterest

“No problem can withstand the assault of sustained thinking.” ~ Voltaire, French writer, historian and philosopher

In the last few weeks, I’ve done a heavy dose of reflecting. I’m in prime planning mode for 2013. What direction will I take with my career? How will my personal life unfold? What do I want to learn? What do I want to do more often and what do I want to give up? Where do I hope to be at this time next year and how do I chart a course to get there? These are heavy questions.

Sometimes, I get frustrated. I see so many options that I get stuck and run the pros and cons through my mind over and over again. When this happens, I just stop. I close my laptop. I put down my pen. I take myself (and Phin) for a walk.

The break clears my head and I return to my challenges with fresh eyes. While on break, the wheels of my subconscious spin and ruminate without interference from the filters of my conscious mind. My subconscious goes free-wheeling to make connections between seemingly disparate bits of information. It combines information in all sorts of ways without attaching judgement. The key is that last bit: no judgement. When I let my conscious mind give up, my imagination can run wild and that is the best way to solve challenges.

Maybe this time of year invites reflection for you, too. Like me, you may be running through different scenarios for the year ahead. You will need to make choices on how to spend your time, energy, and effort. If it overwhelms you, I hope you’ll give up, too. Stop trying so hard to figure it all out. Let your mind sort it out and don’t get in its way.

This holiday, spend time with your family and friends. Let yourself laugh. Power down your devices (at least for a little while.) Be present. Reconnect with nature. Go for a walk, confident in the knowledge that the answer will rise up precisely when it is needed and that you will be both aware and relaxed enough to hear it.

community, community service, generosity, safety, school, stress

Leap: Healing for Newtown, Connecticut

Christa Avampato
From Pinterest
From Pinterest

I was at the dentist when I first saw the news yesterday about Newtown, Connecticut. I am heartbroken for everyone impacted by this horrific event. So much will be revealed in the coming days – motives, names, faces, details of the event, tears. A great deal of healing will be necessary.

For many months I have been thinking about how Compass Yoga can make a difference in the world in these kind of circumstances – tragedies that cause so much trauma, grief, and pain in their aftermath, even long after they’ve ceased to be front page news. I believe we have something to offer; that we have the ability to mobilize a great wave of healing, support, and compassion in the face of unspeakable events.

In the new year, I’m going to find a way to bring this mobilization of healing to life. I wish it weren’t needed but in 2012 alone so many people in our country have endured unprecedented amounts of pain and loss. We must do more to stand up for them, to stand beside them, to be Earthly angels that help light the way forward.

animals, decision-making, dogs, loss, love, pets

Leap: Do What’s Needed

Christa Avampato
My mom snapped this picture of Phin and I about 10 minutes after we met. It was our first picture together and love at first sight.
My mom snapped this picture of Phin and I about 10 minutes after we met. It was our first picture together and love at first sight.

I’ve often written on this blog about my favorite happy, fuzzy pal, Phin. He is an amazing dog whom I rescued over two years ago from the Humane Society. While mostly perfect out of the box, he has struggled with separation anxiety off and on.

His latest bout has lasted for 3 months and I have tried many remedies from extra sessions with our trainer to medication. And just when it seems he has turned a corner, he is plunged back down into the depths of anxiety. His anxiety has begun to make him sick. He never touches a thing in the apartment; he just cries when I leave for any amount of time – an awful, sad, lonely cry. My neighbors are complaining every day. Despite all of the time I spend with him, he needs a home that has more companionship than what I can offer him as a single, working person.

My beautiful, kind, gracious, dog-loving mother has offered to take Phin into her home in Florida until I figure out a better living situation that will work for him. We now live in a tiny studio in a noisy city. My mom and stepfather are retired and are around most of the time. They have a beautiful home with a screened-in porch and a backyard with grass and a garden. They have plenty of sunshine and warmth, inside and outside their home.

Though I know that this is the best short-term situation for Phineas, I am completely heart-broken. He is my constant companion and a champion snuggler. No matter how tough a day I have, he is always there for me with a waggly tail and plenty of smooches. He thinks I am the best person on Earth.

I’m not sure what these next few months hold. I’ll bring Phin down to Florida on Tuesday when I visit my family for the holidays and if all goes well, he’ll be taking up residence there while I sort out a more conducive (read: quiet) environment for him. It is an awful decision to make. My eyes are puffy, my nose is runny, and I feel like a failure.

Life is like that sometimes. We have to make decisions that hurt. Despite our best efforts, things don’t always go the way that we hope they will. I just keep reminding myself to trust the process, to understand that everything is temporary, that fortune can be reversed, that light can and will return even though we are surrounded by darkness. I know this is the best decision to make in the current circumstances, but it’s not easy and it certainly doesn’t feel good.

generosity, gratitude, time

Leap: Giving and Receiving

Christa Avampato

13721973834777679_QnmqYJYl_bThere’s something to be said for giving without asking for anything in return. Give time, love, kindness, empathy. Give it away to people who need it and ask for it. Give it away to people who need it, even though they’re too proud to ask for it.

I’ve never regretted giving. Even if it didn’t come back to me in the way I expected or hoped or wanted it to. I have found that in some way everything I’ve ever given has been returned to me many times over.

I’ve been sorry for times when I didn’t give enough, or when I didn’t give at all. I often think about those times and wish I could go back and do more. But since there’s no changing the past, I double down on my giving today and tomorrow. That lesson has been its own gift.

I know this much is true: the more I give, the more I receive. The more I give, the more I believe in the power of goodness. The more I give, the more I realize that we have the opportunity every day to make this world a little brighter, a little better, a little more like a world we’re proud to call home.

adventure, determination, discovery, journey

Leap: You Don’t Need the Destination, Just the Next Step

Christa Avampato
From Pinterest
From Pinterest

As I was scrolling through Pinterest yesterday in search of an image for another piece I’m writing, I came across this image of a small boy making his way up a seemingly endless staircase. He’s determined – knees lifted, arms pumping, no sign of slowing down.

How many times do we stop mid-step in our journey to gaze up at just how far we have to go? Our nerves get the best of us. We wonder if we can really make it to the top. Maybe we should just turn around now, save the effort and the energy. Is the rest of the climb really worth it, especially if we don’t know what the world will look like from way up there in the great beyond? Isn’t this spot where we are right now good enough?

Maybe, but personally I like to know my options. I want to see the world from way up high, knowing that I can always stroll back down if I want to. I’m too curious to give up the climb; too in love with the journey itself to turn away from possibility.

Don’t let the height of that staircase, nor the effort it requires, keep you from going further. Don’t think about the top; just think about the next step. One by one, take them in stride, and enjoy the experience that each one offers.

adventure, fear, feelings, patience, risk, strengths, time, yoga

Leap: The Path of Most Resistance

Christa Avampato
Vertical staircases at the foot of Mt. Huashan, China
Vertical staircases at the foot of Mt. Huashan, China

Difficulty is good for us.

Yesterday I was reading an article in Intelligent Life, an Economist publication, entitled “The Uses of Difficulty” by Ian Leslie. He gives examples, mostly from the music industry, that depict challenges and difficulties as gifts that we should seek out, even create, for the benefit of our growth. At first glance this argument sounds like something akin to the benefits of brussels sprouts, but I was intrigued by the argument (and I happen to love brussels sprouts) so I kept reading.

In yoga, we search for that magical space between effort and ease. At first, I thought that’s where Ian was going but he took this idea to a whole new level. He presents scientific evidence that shows we actually benefit cognitively from doing things that are difficult, that do not come naturally to us. The benefits are so stark that he suggests purposely creating difficulty even when we find ease. This theory flies in the face of the idea that we should play to our strengths, or at least the idea that we should always play to our strengths.

This article also has the wheels of my mind spinning around the concept of short-term versus long-term benefits. Should we accept, even relish, short-term challenge because in the long-term it makes us more creative, intelligent, quick, strong, resilient, and, let’s face it, interesting? Is discomfort today worth triumph tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow?

There’s only one way to find out.