business, stress, work, writer, writing

Beautiful: My “Stop Freaking Out” List Helps Me Manage Freelance Work Anxiety

Christa Avampato
From Pinterest

Balance has been the hardest part of being a freelancer, and particularly a freelance writer. I regularly have to research, pitch, and complete work all in one day, every day, for different projects. I use an application called Remember the Milk to store all my to-do lists and one of those lists is entitled “Stop Freaking Out”. I created it to help me manage through the inevitable ups and downs of work.

On that list, I jot down all of the projects I’m currently working on and the ones that are possibilities in the pipeline. Whenever I feel panic begin to enter the fringes of my mind – “Will I have enough work to do? Am I on the right track? Is the risk worth the reward?” – I consult this list and it gives me enough comfort to put worry aside and keep working. It’s my source of calm in the storm.

It’s been a useful tool for me, especially since I decided to give my dream of being a full-time writer a shot at being a reality. I consult it, oh, about 3 times a day. Luckily it’s always close by as the app is on my phone and iPad, and the list is also accessible on my laptop through the Remember the Milk website. We all need support as we pursue a dream; we all need reassurance that somehow in the end everything is going to be okay. This list is one of the ways I provide that assurance to myself.

How do you reassure yourself when the going gets a little nerve-wracking?

choices, creativity, decision-making

Beautiful: Settle for What You Want

Christa Avampato
From Pinterest

I only settle for what I want.

Sometimes, we lose our footing on our path because we doubt our gut. We make a choice that at the time seems like the sensible, acceptable way to go. Then we get down the road and realize this was the wrong choice. Our gut was right. We should have followed our instincts. Doubling back seems difficult, if not impossible, so we just keep going in the wrong direction, hoping that we can somehow turn it into the right direction or be happy with it as is even if it’s not what we want. This is the sad definition of settling, but it’s not the only definition. We can choose to settle for what we want.

When I worked with my therapist, Brian, we spent a lot of time on this concept. For much of my life I had settled, but I didn’t realize that at the time. I had gotten so used to settling that it felt like what I wanted. Certainly I pushed myself very hard and I had incredibly high expectations of myself and others (I still do), but there was a part of me that was very concerned with the appearance of success and the guilt of not taking an opportunity that many others would love to have, even if it was one I didn’t want. “I should be happy with this,” I would say. “Many other people would be so I should be, too.”

Brian helped me break that awful habit. We are here on our own paths. We know what we want, what brings us joy, more than anyone else does. And that includes your best friends, your partner, your parents, even your strongest and most inspiring mentors. They don’t know what you want. They only know what will help them not worry about you. And that’s a lovely wonderful thing, but it is no way to live a life. Thank them for the advice and do what you know to be the right thing for you right now. Ask for their support, but don’t live by their rules.

You have to decide how to spend your time. You have to choose how to build your life. It’s one of the best things about being an adult – getting to carve and live your own masterpiece. Let people share in that, but don’t let anyone dictate it to you. Don’t be afraid to give yourself everything you’ve ever wanted in life.

creativity, decision-making, future, writer, writing

Beautiful: How I Found My Path To Write

Christa Avampato
Walk your path

In yoga, the concept of a life path is known as dharma. It’s our direction, our anchor, our reason for being and doing.

Here are a few things I know about dharma:
1.) You are the only person who knows what it is
2.) More often than not, it chooses you. Either you follow it or fight it, but that choice is up to you.
3.) It never fails you in the long-run, but in the short-run it can be bumpy, difficult, and uncomfortable. The good news is that you learn to love the discomfort because you know that finding your dharma is worth the ride.
4.) If you don’t follow your path, you feel a lack of fulfillment and purpose that is tough to find any other way.
5.) The way is always open, though the path is not always immediately apparent.

Here’s how these 5 principles came alive for me:

Theater, culture, and writing
I left professional theater a number of years ago because the path that I was on in the industry wasn’t my path. I was working on the business side even though my path is to be a writer. I have known this for a long time, for many years. It took a long time for me to get the courage to follow the writer’s path. It also took me a long time to learn the craft well enough to trust myself to earn a living from it. And now I’ve written my first play about specific societal issues that are near and dear to my heart and am beginning to submit it to different theater companies for their consideration. My love for theater and culture finally merged with my path of being a writer. I’m also writing a book and writing for a number of publications and organizations rooted in good causes. I spend my day crafting words about things that matter to me, my very favorite activity.

Business and writing
Some people thought I was crazy to leave my job in the business side of theater without knowing what I wanted to do next. Some thought I was crazy when I left my comfy corporate job many years later to pursue a creative path that was not yet clear to me. I knew I wasn’t crazy; I knew I wanted to be happy and I had to take a new road to find out what makes me happy.

Technology and writing
My business experience in several different industries, including technology, has been an enormous asset to so many areas of my life, and I know it will continue to be. I love business and technology, and I especially love to explore the way in which they push cultural change. To be happy, I had to bring the pieces of my life together in a creative way – that was the path. It took a long time to learn that, and when I finally understood that I found that the way was open. I had to choose it, but it was there waiting for me.

business, charity, community, finance, investing

Beautiful: Today I’m Live Tweeting High Water Women’s Investing for Impact Conference

Christa Avampato

Today I’ll be live tweeting High Water Women‘s Investing for Impact Conference. With an incredibly impressive line up of speakers from the investment, nonprofit, and NGO worlds, the conference will cover the triumphs and challenges of financial investing that is focused on making a positive impact on society.

High Water Women empowers women and youth in need by creating powerful volunteer opportunities that leverage the talents and aspirations of professional women. They focus their work in 3 main areas:
– Enriched education for at-risk youth
– Relieving the impact of family poverty
– Economic empowerment for women

You can follow the day via my Twitter feed, @christanyc, or through the High Water Women Twitter feed, @HighWaterWomen. The hashtag for the event is #HWW2013. I hope you’ll chime in, ask questions, and connect with others on this topic. I look forward to the conversation!

career, decision-making, time

Beautiful: Know When It’s Time to Say Goodbye

Christa Avampato

ff89d2cb2e38f7e34ed54081286e1791In keeping with the theme of using October as a month of renewal, I’ve decided to stop doing some things. Time has value far beyond any other possession we have. We must spend it wisely. For a few months I’ve been writing branded content through a third-party vendor as one of my writing gigs. The vendor has a stable of writers, finds brands that need quality content, and puts the two together.

It’s a fine concept – on paper. The trouble is that with this particular vendor the writers and clients never speak directly to one another. They only communicate via email through the third-party, and very little information is given to the writer at the outset. Lots of signals get crossed and lost, leading to hefty rewrites that make the per piece pay rate untenable given all of the work and re-work each piece takes.

I dropped the gig yesterday, and feel happy / sad about the decision. The third party vendor isn’t happy about it. I never like walking away from work though I understand from friends of mine who have been freelancing far longer than I (Amanda, I’m looking at you with my big blog-y eyes) that this is the way of the freelance world. Not every opportunity will be as good as it seems. And some opportunities will be good for a while, but aren’t suited for the long haul.

As Kenny Rogers says, you gotta know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away, and know when to run. A gambler I am, at least in the proverbial sense. Next!

creativity, grateful, gratitude, season

Beautiful: I Love October

Christa Avampato

66ae435ff3247ab97bde98faf50c8bab Some people think of Spring as a time of renewal. For me, my renewal happens in October. When this pumpkin-, apple-, and chilly weather-filled month rolls around, I breathe a little more fully, dream a little more freely, reflect a little more gratefully. Here’s to October, and all that magic it brings.

decision-making, Second Step

Beautiful: Be Someone Your Younger Self Would Be Proud Of

Christa Avampato
From Pinterest

When someone asks me who or what I’m trying to be, I don’t give them an occupation. I tell them I’m trying to be someone who the younger me would be proud of. When I was a little girl, I would look to adults I admired: authors, scientists, teachers, teachers, and other people doing inspiring work around the world. I couldn’t wait to be an adult so that I could get out into the world and make some kind of contribution.

In the shuffle of everyday adult life, this kind of memory can get lost. That little kid is still inside me somewhere, still inspired by these same people for these same reasons. The question I think about all the time is if the younger me would be inspired by the me of today. When I have a decision to make, especially when the problem is muddy and there is no clear answer, I think about younger me a lot. I try to imagine how she would see the problem that adult me faces. No doubt, it would be very black and white to her. And then I make the choice she’d admire, the choice she’d be proud of. She’s my barometer for doing the right thing.

 

money, Second Step, wealth, work

Beautiful: How to Be Wealthy

Christa Avampato
From Pinterest

“If you live for having it all, what you have is never enough.” ~ Vicki Robin

Wealth is the ability to make a living while we make a life. I was on my way to a client meeting last week and I took a stroll down 47th Street, Jeweler’s Row. Sparkly baubles in every window caught my eye. Plenty of shop owners were out on the street, trying to entice me to come inside and take a look around. I just smiled, waved, and moved on. I have all the wealth I need, no bling required.

I’m not rich. Far from it. I still have to be careful with my money as I always have to have a stash set aside in case I have a slow month, a client who doesn’t pay on time, or a sizable unexpected expense. Being a business owner is a balancing act financially, emotionally, and mentally. It’s also an amazing gift to have the freedom of place and space.

On Friday morning, Phin and I took a long trot through Central Park, over to the Met, and then up 5th Avenue. The weather was perfect and we both needed an extra dose of fresh air. As I visited the street artists who set up shop outside the Met, I realized how lucky I am. A little over a year ago, I would have spent my mornings rushing through Phin’s walk, rushing through my morning routine, rushing to the train, and then rushing into my very grey office to work that lacked inspiration.

On most mornings now I take a long walk early in the morning without my watch, and return home to work in a sun-filled apartment with trees outside my window and Pandora playing my favorite music. This isn’t to say my work life is perfect. I hustle, pitch, and work very late most evenings. I sometimes have to do work I don’t necessarily like to make it possible to do other work that I love. For example, I spent 9 hours on PowerPoint yesterday for a client project due this week, but today I’ll be working on the final rewrites for the next draft of my first full-length play. That is balance.

What I do have is enough: enough work I love and enough time to appreciate just how lucky I am to have made this leap. I live in a great apartment in a great neighborhood in a great city (with a great little dog). I get to see my friends and family much more than I ever have before. I’m happier and healthier than I’ve ever been. My life, exactly as it is right now, is enough. I am wealthy.

career, choices, Second Step

Beautiful: How to Move Ahead When We’re Behind

Christa Avampato
From Pinterest

To move ahead, an arrow must first be drawn backward. So it is for us, too. We take one step forward and two steps back. We feel like we are in a perpetual game of catch up, make ends meet, and CYR (cover your rent). I hear you. I live it, too. For every success I’ve ever had, the have been hundreds, maybe thousands, of strike outs. Sometimes I’ve even gotten up to bat to find out that the whole game was cancelled and everyone heard the news except me.

It takes a certain resilience, a certain beautiful brand of lunacy, to carve our own paths, to buck convention, to make the career we want rather than take a job someone else creates. It is a grind, and a grind is what makes diamonds brilliant; it’s what turns wheat into flour that makes bread; it’s what helps aged spices release their gift of fragrance and flavor. The grind is necessary.

We can’t get ahead without first being behind. We can’t give the best that we have without first undergoing some refinement. Our refinement as entrepreneurs is rejection. Rejection shows us in no uncertain terms what really matters to us, and more importantly it shows us what we’re made of, just how strong we really are.

Life is hard in some ways for everyone, and for some of us it’s hard in many ways. We are all battling something, healing from something. We’ve only really got two choices – we can let what happens to us build us up or break us down. I prefer up.

business, film, marketing, media

Beautiful: Giving Without Asking For Anything In Return. Now That’s Advertising.

Christa Avampato

Have you seen “Giving”, a short 3-minute film created by TrueMove, a Thai mobile telecommunications company? It tells the story of two families – one facing extreme hardship and the other in a position to help. It showcases the beauty of giving without expecting anything in return. I saw it during a digital storytelling session at Advertising Week. This might just be the best 3 minutes of your day. And who knows – maybe it will inspire you to take action in your own community.