Every story needs failure, especially your own. We love an underdog. We love to know a character, real or fictional, who fights his or her way back to the light. And the further they fall and the steeper their climb, the better. Maybe right now you’re failing at something. Join the club. No matter what’s happening in our lives here’s what we can count on: at least one thing, no matter how small, isn’t the way we want it to be. That’s okay. Keep reaching. Keep pulling yourself up. You’re going to stumble. There will be some serious cuts and bruises along the way. Some so serious that you think you’ll never recover. But you will. You are so much braver, so much more resilient, than you think you are. You’ll only discover this when you’re truly being tested, so take the test. I promise you that someday, maybe long into the future, you’re going to get a summit and the view is going to be more than worth it.
Life is never perfect. There’s always some piece that needs fixing and tending and change. Maybe it’s your job, or your relationships, or where you live. The best we can do is enjoy where we are, in the midst of the mess and the disorder and the chaos. If we can pick our heads up and look around and look past all the disappointment, we can find the goodness. It might be just a speck far in the distance, but it’s there. These days, I’m trying to focus my energy on what’s right and not what’s wrong. It’s challenging. Sometimes it seems downright impossible, but I try anyway. And in the trying, I find a way forward. It’s not about being lucky or fortunate. It’s about being so determined that I just refuse to give up. I believe in a brighter tomorrow and that belief is enough to see me through another day.
I knew I loved these birds! “Legends say that hummingbirds float free of time, carrying our hopes for love, joy and celebration. Hummingbirds open our eyes to the wonder of the world and inspire us to open our hearts to loved ones and friends. Like a hummingbird, we aspire to hover and to savor each moment as it passes, embrace all that life has to offer and to celebrate the joy of everyday. The hummingbird’s delicate grace reminds us that life is rich, beauty is everywhere, every personal connection has meaning, and that laughter is life’s sweetest creation.” ~ PAPYRUS
As someone who’s used social media for everything from meeting new friends to learning to generating career opportunities to dating, I’ve been thinking a lot about the underside of social media. What if it doesn’t help us connect? What if people don’t like our posts or accept our invitations or offer support when we so clearly needed it? What if we do that hideous comparison game of viewing our own real lives with all their difficulties side-by-side with the perfect lives that people espouse to live via their shiny screens? If we already have anxiety, and who among us doesn’t?, interacting on social media is nearly as frightening as the real world. It’s yet another avenue for rejection and disconnection.
These are the kinds of questions and scenarios that Dear Evan Hansen raises in its gorgeous premiere production at Arena Stage in Washington D.C. The odd and awkward actions online and off that are showcased made me laugh, cry, and contemplate just how hard it is to wrestle through our digital world and navigate its border with the physical world.
There were so many times that my heart just hurt for Evan Hansen, a sweet and shy teenager who’s just trying to get by without having a breakdown. He doesn’t have a lot of friends—he never has—and his family life is less than ideal. He always feels separate and apart from the world around him. He’s someone with a good heart who just can’t connect with people, sometimes rubbing them the wrong way with his awkwardness. He reminded me of a man I used to know, a man I wish I still knew, who also suffers from the same social anxieties and misfortunes with people. I sent that man a virtual hug during the show, not online but in my heart, and I hope wherever he is that he felt it.
Unlike most musicals, Dear Evan Hansen‘s songs aren’t commercial breaks. They move the story along with power, grace, and humor in just the right amount at just the right time. Ben Platt’s voice and demeanor exudes charm and heartbreak, grace and raw honesty. I wanted to run up on stage numerous times, give him a hug, and tell him that it’s all going to be okay. Because that’s really all he needs to know—that someone’s going to stand by him, listen to him, and care about him, especially when he feels uncomfortable and frustrated. He needs to know that someone’s going to be patient with him when he can’t be patient with himself. Isn’t that what we all need and want? Isn’t that the real definition of love? Tom Stoppard said, “It’s no trick loving somebody at their best. Love is loving them at their worst.” I agree.
After seeing Dear Evan Hansen, I didn’t have the best weekend. I’ve got a few personal situations I’m juggling that feel sad and confusing. To be honest, I’m at a little bit of a loss of what to do, say, or feel. My heart and mind feel jumbled and tired. All I could think to do to feel better was smile more, reach out more, and feel more. The instinct might be to shrink away from discomfort, but thanks to Dear Evan Hansen, I leaned into my weekend. The results were mixed, but feeling all of it actually felt better.
And that’s the power of theater. It reminds us that we aren’t alone in our experiences. So much of what we think, feel, see, and bear is shared across space and time by so many others. At its core, Dear Evan Hansen is about friendship and our need to feel cared for and accepted, flaws and all. See it. You’ll walk away a better, kinder person for carrying this story with you online and off.
Dear Evan Hansen will be at Arena Stage until August 23rd. And I’m sure it will have a very long life in many cities across the country soon.
In honor of Susan Strayer LaMotte‘s fabulous birthday, I’m participating in #40forgood. Today the dogs and I came cross a woman in our neighborhood sitting on her stoop having a very tough day. We stopped to sit and talk with her. She pet the dogs and they loved the attention. By the end of our conversation, she was smiling. It was a small thing to do. It didn’t take a lot of time. My hope is that it made a difference. Let’s make the world a little brighter for each other every day.
The National Building Museum is one of my favorite places in D.C. It always has interesting exhibits that are often interactive and always raise issues about what it means to live and work in an urban built environment. They often blend science, art, and society. The latest exhibit, The Beach, brings out the kid in all of us. I went with a big group of friends this week and we had a blast. After playing around in the giant ball pit, we had some cocktails crafted Union Kitchen and danced around to the music of a jazz quartet. Here’s a slow mo video of part of our group. I’m the one on the far right who completely disappears. If you’re in D.C., I highly recommend stopping by!
This week I met with an artistic director of a theater company as I investigate ways to get involved with Washington’s creative community. He likes my variety of business and art skills. This was also true when I interviewed for my current job at my ed tech startup. My weird and winding road, my New Yorkiness, is of value in Washington where being unique isn’t always seen as desirable. This has been a welcome surprise for me and I feel like I’m in just the right place at just the right time. I’m not sure exactly where this next chapter of life is heading, but I’m excited for the adventure and possibility!
When something or someone gets you down, there are exactly 3 solutions: smile wider, laugh louder, and stand taller. You are your actions, not someone’s opinion of you.
While D.C. may be known as a government and nonprofit hub, I’m finding a whole new side of Washington every day. This weekend I went to the celebration of SpeakeasyDC, a storytelling organization where I take a class, rebranding itself as Story District. They had a carnival-type atmosphere of dozens of arts organizations from all over the District. We visited all of the different tables that highlighted the creative work of storytellers, comedian, writers, filmmakers, and visual artists. It was an inspiring and spirited evening that made me so happy to live in this city and be a part of its creative evolution. Here is a list of the participants from that evening. I hope you’ll check them out and support their incredible work!
Batala – an all-female Brazilian dance and drum corps
PoeMC – rappers
The Originals – dancers
Soul & Ink – interactive screen printing
Acre 121 – a local bar in my neighborhood that offers live music every weekend
Better Said Than Done – storytelling
BrandDave – artist
Creative Mornings / DC – monthly get-together for creatives
Dance Place
DC Shorts – short film festival
Docs in Progress – documentary makers
Figment DC – free arts exhibition
Flashband – musicians collective
General Assembly – co-working space for entrepreneurs that offers classes and events
Human Rights Campaign
Impact Hub DC – co-working space for social entrepreneurs
Men’s Story Project – storytelling organization that shatters male stereotypes
Mortified DC – a storytelling project that features storytellers telling embarrassing moments from childhood
Photography by Alexander
Possibilities Publishing Company – independent small press
Recreative Spaces – temporary creative art spaces for hire
Sixth & I – performance space
Split This Rock – youth storytelling organization
Washington DC Comedy Writers – free Monday evening group of comedy writers
“Alignment is easy…just remember something that feels good and focus on that.” ~Abraham Hicks
This weekend I read a self-help book that was a good, hard read. I think this quote by Abraham Hicks is really what every book like this boils down to. If we want to be happy, we have to stop putting ourselves in situations that hurt and harm us. That means staying away from negative people who don’t treat us well. You can’t change adults, nor save them. Leave that to expert therapists. They aren’t your work to do. We are each responsible for our own happiness and our own transformation. Be with people who appreciate you and care about you. Invest your time and effort in activities that lift you up and bring you joy. Anything else is a waste of your value.
Christa Avampato 