I feel lost and found. Lost because I’m drifting away from my consulting work because I don’t enjoy it. Found because Sing After Storms and our amazing cast and crew have made me fall madly in love with the act of creating theater again. I literally run to rehearsal and never want to leave. I relish the roles of playwright, director, and producer. They make me feel more alive than I’ve ever felt in a very long time.
I don’t know where this road will lead. I just know I have to keep following this road as far as it will take me because it feels so good to take this journey.
“If we would only see that all limitations are self-imposed and chosen out of fear, we would leap at once into the arms of grace.” ~ Adyashanti
Is there something holding you back from doing something you really want to do? Too often I find that my roadblocks are internal. To overcome them, I close my eyes and imagine the roadblock—fear of failure, a lack of confidence, worry—as a physical object. I erase it, one piece at a time, until the canvas of my mind is blank. Then, I open my eyes and leap into the work at-hand.
Don’t worry about your competition. It’s not what you do but how you do it that will set you apart. We all have a different method to our madness, so let your own unique brand of madness take flight.
“It’s a secular blessedness, to love what you do over a very long period of time. That’s as good as it gets.” ~ John Arras, Professor of Bioethics at UVA
I read this quote in our UVA alumni magazine and it warmed my heart. I feel blessed every minute of every day to do work I love. My days are long and busy, and they are most certainly blessed.
I spend a lot of time mentoring young people, especially those just starting their careers. Yesterday one of my mentees told me a horrific story about the behavior of her boss and co-workers toward her. The stress and abuse are affecting her health. I encouraged her to look for a new job. “I need this job. I left my last job because of an abusive boss after 6 months. I can’t leave this one so soon, too. It will look horrible on my resume.”
You know what would be really horrible? Developing a long-term health problem because of working for awful people who are rude, disrespectful, and unprofessional. Everyone deserves dignity; it’s a birthright. If you’re being treated badly, speak up and if your concerns are dismissed, leave. I’ve never been able to tolerate bad behavior and poor treatment, whether it was directed at me or others. I refuse to let it happen on my watch. I walked away many times without knowing what I would do next, and I always figured it out. Here’s the bottom line: you matter. If you don’t matter to the people you work for, then you need to move on. They don’t deserve you.
Have you ever worked on a project and then re-worked it many times over hoping to get something just perfect? Then by the time you finish you realize that the world has changed and the idea has passed you by. Or worse, someone has already done what you’ve been planning to do. Nothing you do will ever be perfect. That’s a tough and necessary pill to swallow. Put your heart into it, roll up your sleeves, and get your ideas out into the world. That’s the place where they will make a difference.
Now that the first quarter of 2014 is winding down, I am reflecting on and re-assessing my business plan for the year. I’ve found that it’s helpful to ask myself these questions and write out the answers to translate into action plans:
1.) What do I really want to do?
2.) What do I have that can help me do that?
3.) What do I need that will help me do that?
4.) How can I get what I need?
5.) How will I know when I’ve been successful?
I realize I have some heavy lifting and changing to do to answer these questions honestly and craft a road I’m proud to build and travel. It’s exciting to see it laid out in writing. It keeps me focused and persistent, the two attributes I find I need in spades these days. Do you regularly reflect on and reassess where you are on your projects, professional and personal? What questions are most helpful for you?
In many ways, I have my dream client – me. My personal projects, Compass Yoga, Sing After Storms, and this blog – are the most meaningful work I do. They don’t pay the bills yet so I create content and programs for a variety of other clients, too. That’s also very gratifying work because I choose those clients as much as they choose me. For a long time I wanted to work with Sesame Workshop and with an Olympics-related organization. It’s been incredible to have those experiences with those clients.
I’m not sure how much longer I’ll need to take on new clients, though as long as I do I want them to be people and organizations I admire, respect, and that can teach me something new. I keep a running list of dream clients and here’s how that list looks at the present moment:
– Pixar. I’ve worked for Disney Theatrical and I think it would be incredible to learn about Pixar’s storytelling machine.
– CBS Sunday Morning. My favorite morning program that I look forward to every weekend. I love they dig up that no other news program finds.
– Charlie Rose. He might be the last true gentleman of his generation who’s still so active in news and media. We could all learn something from Charlie Rose.
– A dog-based company or organization. This could be a nonprofit, dog products company, veterinary practice, or canine services organization. Phineas is a great teacher.
– Tea. I’m a bit of a tea-fanatic and I’d love to learn more about the cultivation, processing, packaging, and sale of it.
Do you have dream clients or partners you’d like to work with?
I recently met someone who assumed that I must be permanently giving up all my other professional hats to work on Sing After Storms. I imagine that this will be true to some extent during the month of June. Balance won’t be possible in that month. I have to completely give myself and my time over to that process, and I’m more than happy to do that. I’ll take a break when the curtain comes down.
Somewhere along the way many people felt they had to have balance every minute of every day. That idea feels like a great way to set myself up for failure. I have balance over a much longer time horizon. I work intensely and then I take a break. That cycle happens many times over the course of a year, and I find it makes me grateful for my work and grateful for my breaks. It’s energizing but never exhausting because I understand that balance is a cycle. It’s dynamic. It moves, flexes, and transforms. It’s not something we have to chase. It’s something we can ritualize and build into our lives.
The waves of cold this winter left me wondering how to get Phin and I out of the freezer of New York City. We’re also not fans of the city’s summer heat, mosquitos, and giant air conditioning bills. Being shut in during the polar vortex gave me time to think about how to make myself truly location-independent. I want all the inspiration and creativity of New York City and the space from it to fully appreciate what it and other cities have to offer. My California break last summer worked wonders for me, personally and professionally. I want to find a way to always take my work with me so I can spend the Spring and Fall in New York City and the Winter and Summer in a temperate climate. The wheels are turning. The will is there so I know the way can’t stay hidden for long.
Christa Avampato 