Category: stress

strengths, stress, time, work, yoga

Leap: Take the Time to Find the Roses

Christa Avampato
From Pinterest member http://pinterest.com/casandranvo/

“Make it a habit to rest on the roses and not the thorns.” ~ Rumi via Mona Anand, Senior Teacher at ISHTA Yoga

Over the weekend, our yoga teacher training class was facing a long weekend. It was filled with wonderful learning and we were all very happy to be there, though the challenge of it was palpable. We are now getting deep inside the philosophical and physical layers of advanced postures, breathing techniques, and meditation practices. Like all things worth doing, they take effort.

Mona, one of our wonderful teachers, sensed the weariness in us. In the middle of the practice she brought us to a relaxing posture so that our minds could settle and we could check in with how we were feeling. She asked us to follow Rumi’s advice, seeking to rest on the roses and not the thorns. Too often we focus on the challenge of our circumstances; Mona wanted us to take the time to focus on our ease as well.

Our situation may be difficult but somewhere in the midst of it is a place to recharge and gather our strength. It is our center; it is within us always. In times of trouble, we always have a place to turn. Turn in.

choices, creativity, decision-making, stress

Leap: The Monkey Mind and The Inner Sage Can Walk Together

Christa Avampato

When we’re in a funk, it can be tough to pick our heads up and re-energize. When we’re down and out, sometimes it feels easier to stay that way. And for a while, I think that’s true. Every once in a while we do have the right to wallow a bit when something doesn’t go our way. The opportune word is “bit”.

Throwing a pity party
I have a friend who gives herself exactly 24 hours of serious self-pity when true disaster finds its way to her door – she turns on the music she only listens to when she really needs to bawl her eyes out, pours herself a stiff drinks, dives into a carton of ice cream, and lets herself feel truly crummy. And 24 hours later she is required to pick herself up, dust herself off, and leave the house. No excuses.

That’s how I felt last week on a particularly low day. I didn’t follow my friend’s course of action, though I have absolutely no qualms with it. Having lived with insomnia for many years, I give myself the chance to have one night of less than fantastic sleep. I’ll let my challenges toss and tumble through my mind at any speed they wish and I don’t stand in their way. As a yoga and meditation teachers who often focuses classes on taming the monkey mind, that skipping, jumping, frantic mind whirr we can all find ourselves in from time to time, I could stop the mania and get some rest. The monkey mind gets its way for one night and one night only. And here’s why:

The monkey mind has a voice…
When we’re unsettled, rattled, and confused, there’s a reason for it. Usually we’re reacting, understandably, to some past experience and our minds are trying to equate our current situation with a past situation in order to search for solutions. There are a lot of valuable lessons in this process – the monkey mind never forgets the emotion caused by feeling unsettled and with good reason. In its own special way it is trying to protect us, spare us from past discomforts. Let it play its part.

and it’s persistent.
If you don’t let the monkey mind have its say, it will eventually force you into listening. Think about a child who doesn’t get enough exercise. He will wind himself up and up and up until he finds a way to release his energy. So let him go run around in the park and give his energy a productive outlet. Keep him cooped up inside and he’s likely to start developing all kinds of unfortunate behaviors and feelings. And he should. Stress needs to be exercised so we can get past it. Mind chatter is no different, and if you listen closely you’re likely to find some small kernel of truth that begins the process of reinvention.

What comes of chatter
In my case, my properly exercised mind chatter transforms into fearlessness. I attempt to decision-tree my way through just about every challenge I face. “I could do this or that, and this action will lead to this consequence, and that action will lead to that consequence, which means I’ll need to….” You see what I’m saying.

So I let my inner decision-tree maker have her fun in the sun. She smooths out the sandy surface, gets out a stick, and goes to town etching her branches in the sand all the way down the beach. She gets one night to crank it all out and then the next morning that tide of reason is coming in to soften it up and wash the worry away. And then she toddles off to bed, spent but in a good way. She said her piece and wrote out all her fears. I listened carefully, and then I moved forward.

The meditation that was a long time coming
It took a long time for me to develop this tool, this imagery, and use it in my daily meditation whenever I feel any sense of anxiety. For many years, I knew nothing but a monkey mind and then for several more years I tried very hard to get her to shut up. Neither approach worked. The balance – energy and peace – is so much more valuable and in moments of high stress I remember that the stress is there for a reason. It has a purpose. It has something to teach me. We can take the concerned many of the monkey mind and distill them down to the vital few of the inner sage. Give the two the chance to walk together.

That’s how decision-making works best: lay it all out on the table, no judgements passed. The real heart of the matter is hidden in there somewhere. Give yourself the chance to explore your thoughts, really peel each layer back, and see what you find. The truths buried in there may surprise you.

health, stress, teaching, yoga

Beginning: A Weekend of Therapeutic Yoga and a Proposal for You

Christa Avampato

Cheri Clampett guiding a student through a therapeutic yoga posture
“You are already perfect, whole, and complete. The work we do, the work of yoga, is to remove the obstacles to our own truth.” ~ Cheri Clampett

I spent the weekend at Integral Yoga Institute for Cheri Clampett and Arturo Peal‘s Therapeutic Yoga Teacher Training. In the coming weeks, I’ll be sharing a lot about all of the powerful lessons that Cheri and Arturo generously handed to all of us.

What is Therapeutic Yoga?
Therapeutic Yoga, as Cheri and Arturo have defined it, combines restorative yoga, gentle yoga, Traditional Chinese Medicine, massage, breathwork, energy work, and guided meditation. A session is composed of a handful of poses, supported with props as needed, that are held for 5 – 15 minutes each. The goal is to help the student deeply relax into a meditative state, exerting minimal effort, by having each pose tailor-adjusted to meet the needs of the individual. In this way, therapeutic yoga is available to everyone regardless of age or health issues. Even people who are in the final days of their lives can find comfort in these postures. It is truly a practice for everyone.

Teacher as guide
All weekend, I was struck by the honesty, grace, and kindness that Cheri and Arturo gave to us through their own teaching. Though we covered a tremendous amount of material, I never felt rushed or stressed in their presence, and when it came time for me to work individually with my teaching partner, I didn’t feel the nervousness that I became so used to feeling when I went through my 200-hour training. All of a sudden, the knowledge that Cheri and Arturo gave to us was just there for me to freely incorporate into my usual teaching methods. It felt so natural that all I had to do was be with my partner and focus on what she needed. The class became all about her, and very little to do with me. I was just the guide who helped her open the door to her own peace.

What teaching teaches the teacher
When I got home, I went into the bathroom to wash my face. I looked up into the mirror and surprised myself. I actually looked younger. I had expected a full weekend of teacher training to leave feeling happy but spent, as it had during my 200 hour teacher training. Instead, I just felt present and whole in a way that I haven’t felt in some time. “I see now,” I thought. “So this is where I am supposed to be. This is the hour and method of my teaching.” I began to think of all of the people who could benefit from this practice, particularly those who are navigating their way through trauma such as veterans, police officers, care givers, those managing difficult illnesses, and people who are undertaking any kind of major transition in their lives. In that moment in the mirror, I became acutely aware of just how much I have to offer to those who want to heal. As Arturo said to us, “What feels good is good.” After this weekend, I feel amazing.

My offer to you
And now my proposal: In light of all this goodness that Cheri and Arturo shared so freely with us, I want to pay it forward. If you’re based in NYC and would like to have a free private therapeutic yoga session with me, or have a friend or family member who would be interested, I’d love to introduce you to the practice. Leave a comment, send me an email, FB message, tweet, or text, give me a ring, and we’ll find a time to make it happen. Thanks in advance for your partnership as I explore this path.

holiday, peace, stress, tradition

Step 339: Take the Stress Out of Togetherness

Christa Avampato

“Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success.” ~ Henry Ford

The holiday season brings about a lot of thinking around the importance of togetherness. Why we come together and how much happiness we gain from being part of a community, particularly a community of our own design. Togetherness can bring stress as well especially around the holidays. There’s an old age that goes something like “If you want to test your level of enlightenment, go spend a week with your family.” As much as we like to think that the holidays are nothing but love and light, they can bring tensions, old and new. And then to top it off, we feel guilty about those tensions because we think every family in the world is perfect and content while ours is the one that isn’t.

Over the years, I’ve found that there could be nothing further from the truth. Every family has its own secrets and myths, its rivalries and competitions. No family is perfect. Every family has its complexities and idiosyncracies. If you feel tensions creeping in at all during family or friend gatherings over the next few weeks, here are 3 ways to keep it from getting the best of you and those around you:

1.) Make meals easy. If togetherness is really the important thing to you, forget about all of the fuss. The table and food don’t need to be perfect and special – it just needs to be heartfelt. You don’t need to become an overnight gourmet, or even a cook at all. Focus on being together, not on the table settings. Martha Stewart’s way isn’t the only way to a happy holiday meal.

2.) Ease up on the gifts. The economy is still in very tough shape. Every day there are conflicting job reports, and with every ounce of good economic news, there’s a hefty dose of reality, too. Maybe this is a year to ease up on all of the shopping craziness. I’d be much happier knowing that a donation was made in my name to people who really need help this holiday season. I really don’t need anything – I’m more than fine. I’m much happier with a fun experience than a wrapped box under the tree.

3.) No one ever said the holidays are only about togetherness. Take some time out for you. Make it your gift to yourself to relax and unwind. Take a yoga class, go get a massage, or take a long walk. Enjoy an afternoon at home with a good book and a yummy beverage. A little down time will help you relax into the time you have with others and appreciate that togetherness even more.

What tips have helped you calm holiday stress?

frustration, nature, strengths, stress

Step 328: Make Like a Grapevine and Focus

Christa Avampato

“A vine, well-exercised, produces an intense wine.” ~ Anthony Bourdain

Yesterday I was at my mom’s house watching an episode of Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations. I recently finished his book, Kitchen Confidential, and love his bits of life wisdom garnered through his life in food. On yesterday’s episode he was meandering through Provence and all of the incredible cuisine that area of the world has to offer. He went to visit a restored winery and met with the owner to learn about the gifts of strong heat and rocky soil that make for incredible, intense wine. Because the vines struggle a bit through the rocky soil (and it is a delicate balance asking them to struggle enough to become strong, but not so much that it ruins the vines entirely), the flavor in the grapes is pungent and focused.

Yesterday morning I was struggling with a bit of a problem. I have been doing a lot of pitching for my out-of-school education program, Innovation Station. I’ve gotten many positive reactions to it, and people who are interested in producing it once a pilot is complete and the results are in. Trouble is that I’m not having much luck reeling in a school willing to let me run a small pilot. I have known from the beginning that a pilot it crucial as part of a larger sell-in and that a pilot created and run by someone outside of education would be a tough sell. As much talk as there is about public education wanting more innovative ideas, it is an incredibly insular world. (Consider the criticism of Cathie Black, a seasoned, respected, accomplished professional as the new chancellor of NYC public schools.) Risk is not something that public education is accustomed to.

Like good wine making, a sprinkle of struggle in a project’s life cycle can create a better product. It could be that now is just not the right time for this program. Maybe I need to focus my energy in other areas at the moment like my yoga and my writing. It could be that the schools I’ve been speaking to are not the right ones for this program and I need to keep looking for a better match. Whatever the reason, Anthony Bourdain’s analogy of a grapevine helped me feel more comfortable with a bit of struggle and frustration in my own life today. I could use a healthy dose of focus in 2011, and the order that comes with it.

The image above can be found at nyhabitat.com

sleep, stress

Step 259: A Moment, or More, of Rest

Christa Avampato

“Sometimes the most urgent thing you can possibly do is take a complete rest.” ~ Ashleigh Brilliant

I have spun myself out. Stress seems to be everywhere. Yesterday, no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t calm down until I got home and collapsed in a heap on my yoga mat. I sank down into the floor, feeling the comfort of the solid ground beneath me. I could have continued to ignore my own advice and run, run, run to combat stress. I thought about it, and then thought better of it. I didn’t need to run, I needed to rest.

Resting, contrary to logic, is hard work. Our minds race, our hearts race, and our feet follow along furiously trying to keep up. It’s a cycle. I used to beat myself up for over-scheduling my life. Now, I just de-schedule it. It’s another form of editing, an under-appreciated, subconsciously coveted, and courageous talent. It causes anxiety, guilt, and a bit of regret. But sometimes, a little regret is necessary. We aren’t perfect. We make mistakes. We burn ourselves out. We wear ourselves down.

Energy is cyclical, and when we’re done, we’re done. Take a load off. You deserve it.

Illustration above by Jim Davis. Garfield had the right idea.

change, discovery, stress

My Year of Hopefulness – Shifting Ground

Christa Avampato

“A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course to victory.” ~ Arthur Golden, from Memoirs of a Geisha

Lately, my life seems to be a little like an earthquake. I feel like I am always standing on shifting ground. Just when I think I get one part of my life settled, an aftershock throws me off balance. There are some amazing lessons to be learned when we are standing on uncertain ground. And while working through these circumstances is difficult, I am certain that once the dust settles I will be a far better person in every respect.

With shifting ground:

1.) You learn what you want, and what you don’t want.
Things I want: a career that contributes to building a better world, freedom to use my time with more flexibility, to be out and about in the world as much as possible, a close family, close friends, a feeling of connection to my community.

Things I don’t want: to wake up in the middle of my years and find that I didn’t do something because I was scared or because I was worried it would take too long to complete, to “dream” more than I “do”

2.) You learn who you want, and who you don’t want in your life.
People I want: those with commitment and determination. Those who do what they say and say what they do. People who show up, and love fiercely and fearlessly, and take big chances on big dreams. Those who hold at their core honesty, bravery, and empathy. People who know what they want and have the confidence to go for it. People who change the direction of the wind. Kind and generous and those who want to be at cause with the world. People who listen more than they talk.

People I don’t want: those who can’t make up their minds. People who are inconsistent. People who constantly look at what others can get or do for them. People who lack follow-through and commitment. “Idea people” who don’t have the ability or inclination to bring those ideas to life through the honest work of their own two hands. Those who spend an hour with me talking about themselves for 59 minutes and asking me how I’m doing for 1 minute.

3.) You learn to live with less material wealth, and greater purpose.
Last night I spoke to my dear friend, Amy, who is my inspiration when it comes to creating a purposeful life. She told me about a book called The Soul Of Money by Lynne Twist. It’s helping Amy to make the transition from the career she has, which carries a big paycheck and is not what she wants to do, to the career she wants, which has a less certain income stream and a tremendous amount of satisfaction. Twist advocates for our ability to build a meaningful, satisfying life with our own inner resources. It’s an idea we can all get behind – to be motivated by a personal mission, a reason for being, and not a bonus and an annual performance review rating. She shows us that wealth of the heart and mind is at least as importance as the wealth in our bank accounts.

Shifting ground is treacherous. It is filled with doubt and uncertainty. It shakes us to our core, and in the process we find out what sustains us, what makes us glad that we woke up today, what motivates us to build a better tomorrow for ourselves and for others. This is uncomfortable work, though it’s the only way I can see to make the valleys of this journey through life worthwhile.

Disappointment is going to show up at our door at one time or another. People are going to let us down. And how we handle these disappointments, and what we learn from them, in many ways helps us to define who are and who we mean to be. They are teachers, twisted and odd as they may be. The way to learn from the disappointments is to hang on to those who build us up, the circumstances that make us strong, those who can support us in our darkest hour. They make all the difference, and help us climb back to those peaks.

This uncertain ground will pass. The aftershocks eventually die down. Life does get back to normal. And when it does, I know I’ll find that my ground has shifted in a favorable direction.

The image above is not my own. It can be found here.

fear, grateful, home, insomnia, nature, sleep, stress, thankful, weather

My Year of Hopefulness – Cleansing

Christa Avampato

It’s the middle of the night and I’m having a tough time sleeping. I’ve become accustomed to insomnia as I’ve had it off and on for most of my life. Tonight is a little eerie though. I’m awake because of the wind. It’s keeping me up long past my bedtime. It’s so gusty that as I was walking back to my friend, Amber’s, apartment, I could feel the weather bearing down on me. For a moment I almost lost my footing. You’d think this was Chicago in the winter the way the gusts are going. We rarely have wind like this, especially at the beginning of September.

I can’t help but think that this odd wind is a way for the greater universe to say to me that my life is being cleaned out, and it must be this way as tough as the circumstances may be. With these gusts will go all of the bad energy from the fire. And with that energy will go the fear as well – mine, and my neighbors’, family’s, and friend’s fears, too. Rather than it being a disturbing wind, perhaps it’s trying to be of great use at a time of great need. Maybe a strong, forceful wind is exactly what’s called for in times of stress. At least I’m hoping that’s the case.
As I headed from The Empire Hotel toward the subway tonight, for a second I thought “damn, all my warm clothes might be ruined. I have nothing to wear!” And then a second later I started laughing, out loud. Who cares? So I will have to buy some new warm clothing now that Fall has arrived. I stopped for a moment right by Columbus Circle and looked up at the sky, the clouds faintly swirling and swishing in the very dark sky. I said a prayer to whatever and whoever is up there looking down on me, blowing all the smoke away so that I might see and think a bit more clearly. “Thank you,” I said. “I’m glad I’m here to witness this.” And I’ve never meant any 9 words more in my life.
The image above is not my own. It can be found here.
choices, decision-making, future, stress, success, worry

My Year of Hopefulness – Just Get to What’s Next

Christa Avampato

“Wisdom consists not so much in knowing what to do in the ultimate as knowing what to do next.” ~ Herbert Hoover, 31st U.S. president

Today I met with an old friend from college that I haven’t seen in 11 years. She and I worked on a theatre production together at Penn, and she has a new theatre project that she wanted to get my advice on. At one point in our conversation she said she just felt so overwhelmed by the enormity of the task of getting the project off the ground. As much as she believes in the idea, the shear amount of work that it takes will be intense, regardless of whether it is a runaway hit, a flop, or somewhere in-between. She is afraid of the outcome of her efforts before she’s even begun.

Like all of us with ideas that get our blood pumping, we get ahead of ourselves. We haven’t even put a proposal on paper, and already we are off and running making contingency plans for every challenge and triumph imaginable. Long-term planning is important; to paralyze ourselves with fear in the short-run makes all of our worrying inconsequential. If we can’t even get started, our long-term contingency plans don’t make a bit of difference.

A crystal ball would be a handy tool to have in our back pocket, particularly if we could play out different scenarios before making choices. Unfortunately, no one has invented one of those yet, and so we’re left with only our gut, experience, and conscience to help us make decisions. While we might do our best chess playing game, anticipating how the world around us will change, it never goes exactly according to plan. There’s always some surprise we didn’t account for. And if you’re doing A just to get to B, then my experience has demonstrated that surely C, D, and E will show up to throw a wrench in the works.

The best we can do is to just do what’s next. Keep a lofty goal as your guide, and remember that there are many routes to it. Don’t shut down your ability to move forward by standing at the fork in the road and burying your head in your hands. Self-imposed grief, and the indecision that comes along with it, doesn’t serve anyone well. And your dreams are too important. You have too much to offer this world. There is no time for indecision. The only choice you need to make right now is the next one. Leave the future where it belongs, out ahead of you.

The image above can be found at: http://toughsledding.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/fork.jpg

calm, health, meditation, peace, stress, yoga

My Year of Hopefulness – Stop the World, I Want to Get Off

Christa Avampato
This week has been a roller coaster. My stress level was up and down every other hour, so much so that at one point I was physically dizzy. I was joking with my friend, Denise, who was having a similar week, that my theme song should be “Stop the World, I Want to Get Off.” Then she reminded me that should be the theme song not just this week but every week.

To reduce stress and keep myself in check, I practice yoga, run, meditate, and breath. I back away from stress slowly, keeping my eye on its source so that it doesn’t sneak up on me again for a repeat performance. I think of it as a very hungry grizzly bear, something to be handled with extreme care and to diffuse by almost any means necessary.

I keep looking for ways to cut stress from my life, as if it’s some disease. The moment it rears its ugly head I want to banish it. This week I tried to appreciate stress’s occasional appearance in my life. It puts a fire under me to get something finished. In my effort to diffuse stress, I actually max out my productivity to get the job done. Stress often leads me to some of my most creative work. (I wish some scientist would do a study on stress’s effect on creativity.)

This isn’t to say that I crave stress, seek it out, or love opening up my front door to see it glaring down at me. It’s true that when it arrives, I hang my head a little low and quietly curse under my breathe “not again!” However, after a minute or two, I sit up straight, roll-up my sleeves and get to work. In the case of stress, there’s no way past it except through it. While the temptation is to step off the stress merry-go-round, there are a lot of learnings and value to be derived from its occasional visit. Our challenge is to manage through it so that it doesn’t set up camp and make itself at home in our everyday lives.