All clay needs a kiln to be made useful. Disappointment, fear, anger, sadness. That’s your kiln. Don’t think of them as forces that work against you but forces that polish you, that make you brighter, more resilient, and brilliant. Trial by fire shows us what we’re made of. It makes us empathic and compassionate and kind. Soldier on and let it do its work while you do yours.
Category: strengths
Inspired: Don’t Worry. Be Happy Today.
“Worry doesn’t empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.” ~ Corrie ten Boom, Dutch writer
I’ve been trying to let go of worry. To leave tomorrow to tomorrow so that I can enjoy and learn today. After all, the answer to tomorrow’s question might be in front of me at this very moment, and I don’t want to miss it.
Inspired: Be a Builder of Windmills
“When the winds of change blow, some people build walls and others build windmills.” ~ Chinese proverb
Change can knock us down, and it can also provide the fuel we need to transform into our best selves. It makes us stronger, kinder, more empathic, and give us insights that our regular routines can’t provide. When I take a step back from my troubles, I get perspective that helps me see the possibilities that reveal themselves during tough times.
Inspired: Live Like a Lotus
A lotus can’t grow in clear pristine water. It needs the nutrients from the mud to bloom and thrive. Our lives are like that, too. Life is messy. People and tasks compete for our time and attention. We wrestle with the tension between what we think we have to do and what we want to do. Choosing how to spend our time is the toughest thing we will ever do and the answer won’t always be clear.
And that’s okay. We need the obstacles, the adversity, the challenges to show us what matters most to us, to help us build skills, to make us strong and resilient. Everything that is happening to us now, everything, is preparing us for the road that lies ahead. Embrace it and don’t give up.
Inspired: This is What it Takes to Be Successful
“Throw me to the wolves and I will return leading the pack.” ~ Unknown
This is how we need to look at obstacles. Confront them head on, give them a good hard look dead in the eyes, and commit to rising above them. I don’t let them take me down. I decide to let them do their work to make me stronger and more capable. They are there to teach me something. I will discover what lessons they hold and I will master them. Resolve to be this strong, this determined, this brave, and nothing will stand in your way.
Beautiful: I’m Glad I Lost Everything – 4 Years After My Apartment Building Fire
“What matters most is how you walk through the fire.” – Charles Bukowski
4 years ago today, my apartment building caught fire and I lost almost everything I owned. I got out of the building just in time. A few moments later and I might not be here writing this post to you today. On that day if someone told me I’d be grateful for that fire, I probably would have punched them in the nose. Now I know better.
I’m more grateful than ever for that experience. Through that healing process, I found out what I’m made of, and I found out what so many other people are made of, too. I emerged from the other side of that grief a far better person than I was before. It was difficult, and many times it was awful and painful. A big part of me wanted to give up on remaking my life. A small part of me refused to give in. I listened to that small voice. I fed it, and eventually it grew loud enough to drown out the doubt. And if knowledge is power then I’m more powerful now than I ever dreamed I could be.
It doesn’t matter what challenges we face. What matters is how bravely we face them. It doesn’t matter how much nor how little we have, but how much we do with anything we have.
Beautiful: We’re Stronger Together
The strong path is built by many hands and hearts. I’m all for independence – goodness knows I’m the poster child for carving an individual path! – though I almost always have help and support from someone or something. Sometimes a friend or teacher, other times my own yoga and meditation practice, and still other times from inspiring stories I’ve read and heard. To say I’ve ever done anything solely on my own would be a lie. There was always a union of some kind, every step of the way.
At SXSW V2V, I listened to Steve Case’s keynote (I’ll be writing more about that shortly) and he recited an African proverb that has informed much of his career – “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” My intent is to go far – to see more, experience more, be more, do more. And I can’t do that alone. It’s got to be a group effort.
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Beautiful: Winning
Stress may be all around us, but it doesn’t need to consume us. Someone else’s drama, bitterness, and unhappiness doesn’t need to affect our mood and outlook. Arturo Peal, one of my yoga teachers, describes the need for a personal Teflon shield. My friend, Moya, imagines difficulties caused by others as water than can roll right off her back.
I love both of these images and used them recently in the midst of discomfort and disappointment. They worked like a charm. I hope they help you, too.
Beautiful: We’re Stronger Than We Think
The only way to know what we’re really made of is to get out there and live, live, live!
Beautiful: Today You are Building Tomorrow’s Destiny
“Sometimes, history is destiny.” ~ Adrian Benepe, Senior Vice President and Director of City Park Development at Trust for Public Land
While Mr. Benepe is referring to the development of cities, his quote just as easily applies to our lives. What you do today matters, not only in this moment but in every moment that follows. As someone who spent a lot of time unsure of when I would actually try to create my dream career, I can promise you that time is of the essence. Waiting and talking about what you’re going to do someday gets you nowhere. Action starts the long, winding, sometimes-frustrating but always-interesting road. And that’s what we all need to do – we need to get started. Now.
Traversing this ground toward dreams is going to take time. You’re going to grind along in fits and starts. Some days it all comes so easily and some days you’ll feel like you’re chasing your own tail. This cycle of ups and downs and turnarounds happens to me all the time. Why is it so hard to move forward? And is it even worth trying?
It’s hard because we have to build the foundation, construct the frame, enclose it, smooth out the structure, and then, and only then, do we get to the fun stuff of aesthetics and decoration. But without that underlying organization, without all those incredibly unsexy but totally necessary pieces of infrastructure, the aesthetics don’t matter. Cover it up with spackle and paint all you want. It will crumble without a foundation.
As someone who is still very much in the foundation building phase, who is mired in unsexy structural details on a daily basis, I can tell you that I still find some small victory every single day. Some days, I’m waiting on that victory until the 11th hour. But it always shows up. I think about throwing in the towel and just then some small sign from the universe breaks through and that sign gives me the strength to keep going, to keep trying, to keep waking up and giving it my best shot.
I am certain there are lots of changes on the horizon. Changes I can’t even imagine, much less plan for. Some of them are going to knock me over. They’re going to overwhelm me and cause me to question everything. Well, almost everything. No matter what happens, I’m going to get right back up. I am certain of that. And I will be stronger for it. Destiny-building is strenuous work, but there is no greater joy that pulling it together bit by beautiful bit.
Christa Avampato 