Category: routine

routine, time, to-do lists, work

Step 336: Balance Over Time

Christa Avampato

In business school a friend of mine famously said, “I think you can have it all, you just can’t have it all, all the time.” We beat the heck out of ourselves when it comes to work life balance. We make ourselves crazy by wanting balance every day, at every moment, and if we can’t get ourselves there we assume there’s something wrong with us, that we are somehow inept. The General Counsel of my company talked at a recent lunch about the idea of attaining balance over time, not balance all the time.

Some days, some week are just going to be packed to the gills. That’s life. Projects ramp up, the holidays come around, guests are in town. Certain times in our lives can just be crazy. Crazy fun or crazy not-so-fun. If that crazy happens over a long, sustained period of time, then yes, we do have a problem that we need to quickly remedy. But just because life is not as balance as we’d like it to be for a few days doesn’t mean we’ve failed. It just means we’ve got active lives.

This idea calmed me down, and it was a message I needed this week. Work has consumed more of my time than it usually does and I was cursing it a bit. Reflecting on the idea of balance over time reminded me to be grateful. I’m ridiculously lucky to have a job that interesting most of the time, that pays well, and doesn’t consume much of my time after 5:30. This week I’ve had a few late nights. I’m getting some new projects up on their feet and it’s taking more time than the typical 9-5 day allows. Thanks to the idea of balance over time, I took the extra time crunch in stride. And when the lull hits, which will inevitably happen, I’ll remember to offer my thanks for peace and quiet.

grateful, gratitude, routine, vacation

Step 325: Gratitude Grows Away from NYC

Christa Avampato

I will be the first person to tell anyone why I think New York City is the greatest place on Earth for me. There are so many other cities in the world that I love, but none that feel so like home to me as New York. It is a city that has literally every amenity, experience, and culture imaginable, and then some. But even I, a very proud New Yorker, need a break. Last week I found myself frustrated with the subway, aggravated with the crowds, and sometimes overwhelmed by the noise. I needed time away.

For Thanksgiving week I’m in Florida, where most of my family now lives. (My brother and I are the only ones still in the Empire State.) Phineas took his first plane ride, and I’m staying with my parents for the first time in their new place after their recent retirement. I’m horsing around with my nieces, joking around with my sister, Weez, and talking with my brother-in-law about art, Cesar Milan, and all things Alabama. We’ll be taking a spin around Disney World, checking out the new wizarding world of Harry Potter, and getting our fill of cartoons and old movies. It’s a very different life down here than it is for me at home. And that’s a very good thing.

My mom reminded me yesterday of all the little things that make her life easier now: new appliances, a gym across the street, numerous restaurants she can go to for lunch with my stepfather, and all of the services within walking distance of their new place. (Phineas and I discovered the Starbucks this morning on the other side of their apartment complex.) Palm trees sway, the wading birds call (a little too early in the morning, but a far less jarring sound than the sirens I’m accustomed to), and flip-flops are well-used year-round.

I lived in Florida for a year and a half a number of years ago, though I don’t think it will ever be my home again. However, coming here is a chance for me to recharge with my family and be reminded of just how important little conveniences are. I lose sight of that in New York where we want everything we want, when and where we want it, and 99.9% of the can get it. The appreciation for the little day-to-day events that make life so enjoyable is more readily apparent away from the city that never sleeps, and I’m grateful for the reminder.

routine, rules, schedule, work, work ethic

Step 224: The Value of Discipline

Christa Avampato

“Some people regard discipline as a chore. For me, it is a kind of order that sets me free to fly.” ~ Julie Andrews, British actress and singer

I used to dislike discipline. It stifled me, preventing me from following my curiosity in any direction I found interesting. With experience, I’ve found peace in discipline. In my yoga and meditation practices it has helped me to see myself and the world a bit more clearly. Discipline, when applied at just the right moment, in just the right amount, can actually set us free because it provides a focus to build around.

Some people are born with an innate sense of discipline. Some people have discipline only in certain areas of their lives. I fall into both camps. By nature, I am not a disciplined person. I don’t like rules and rigidity, and I don’t like setting rules for others. I started to gain discipline when I started running competitively. That’s translated into discipline in a number of other areas of my health and fitness. Exercise is one of those things that needs to have a schedule in order to see consistent, positive results. Work out once a month and it won’t yield much. Work out a few times a week, and the results are readily apparent.

I’m the same way with my writing – I sit down at this computer every day and just get it done. I wanted to be a better writer so I had to practice. Now it’s not hard for me to post to this blog every day. Actually, when I don’t post every day, I feel an emptiness. Something seems off and out-of-place in my life when I don’t write about my day. My financial savings plan is another areas where discipline is mission-critical. I pay myself before I pay anyone else.

So what areas of our lives benefit from discipline? I always go by one general principle: “what gets measured, gets done.” If you need to accomplish a goal or improve a skill, chances are discipline will help. Every accomplishment has a game plan, and if something has a game plan, then progress can be measured and tracked in increments.

And how do we build more discipline in the areas of our lives that need it? Here’s my method:

1.) Your schedule is your best friend. I live by my calendar on my phone. Once I see my schedule mapped out, I stop worrying about it. This map of my time also helps me to not over-commit. (I’m a ways off from that goal, but I’m improving!)

2.) I spend one night a week at home on my own and I guard that down time like a hawk. I need it, it’s important to me, and even if President Obama comes knocking for a meeting about how to fix the world, I’m not giving up my one free night a week. Actually, that’s not true. I have a lot of ideas about how to fix the world so if President Obama wanted my opinions on that topic, I’d take the meeting. But I’d probably re-schedule something else that week to make up for it.

3.) Write it down. What gets measured gets done, and I’m horrible at remembering my own progress. I have to write it down so I can refer to it regularly. I need that written guide. So whether it’s in excel or a note in my project notebook, it’s recorded.

4.) Don’t build discipline in areas that don’t interest you. I really love listening to jazz music, but I really don’t like playing it. I tried to develop a regular practice when I played the saxophone, but I didn’t like it. I just played an instrument because everyone else I grew up with played one. I didn’t get any joy from it. Playing the saxophone made me horribly nervous. So I gave it up and turned my attention to writing. If your body and mind are fighting discipline in an area of your life, maybe that area of your life is not deserving of your time.

5.) Break it up. A friend of mine in college gave me a tiny two-inch picture frame. I still have it on my desk at work, and it’s traveled with me to every job I’ve ever had. It reminds me that all I have to do at any one moment to get to a given goal is to do what fits inside that tiny picture frame. A huge project can be overwhelming. Separate it into tiny pieces and no one piece will seem that difficult.

What are your methods for gaining and maintaining discipline? What’s worked for you?

change, habit, happiness, innovation, routine

Change for Notice

Christa Avampato

I had dinner with my friends Chas and Amanda over the weekend and we got into a discussion about the importance of change. On Friday I needed to stop by the post office in midtown and it would be best for me to take the ACE to Times Square. I couldn’t recall where I’d seen the ACE sign though I know I see it everyday when I got off at the subway stop at work. Turns out it’s actually the same stop that houses the 23 (my line) and the ACE. Everyday I look at that sign and couldn’t recall the ACE symbols. Chas was telling me that at his former job they would change the colors of important signs around the office so people wouldn’t get numb to seeing them the way I did with the subway. 


On my way home from dinner I thought about the comforts and dangers of routines. How quickly we can get used to circumstances the way they are and grow apathetic to them to the point where we don’t know how we got from point A to point B. We stop being present and fall into this mental fog that clouds our ability to fully experience our lives. And that fog is heavy to lift, and diminishes joy. 

I’m wondering if there is a time for routines and a time for changing everything up. Are routines ever good for us? Do we have to recognize that they serve their purpose for a short period and then we have to break from them and find a new way? Is renewal critical to happiness?