Category: priorities

In January I wrote a post about my wipe board, the blank, erasable canvas that I use to keep track of the projects in my life. In the last two weeks, I’ve noticed that my wipe board, and by association my life, has become too full. I laughed when I caught myself squeezing project descriptions into unreadable script in the corners of the wipe board. I have been doing the exact same thing with my life. It’s easy to sign up, say yes, and create content in our lives. Deciding not to join, saying no, and editing the content are much tougher actions to take.

Now building time into my schedule to bond with and take care of Phin, it’s time for another round of editing. Phin showed up in my life to make me realize what’s really important and needs tending, and also what needs to go. It’s a message Brian has been giving me for months and I’m just now really hearing him – our creativity organizes around the constructs we give it, not the ones created by the outside world.

So I’m taking my time back into my own hands today. I’ve still got some more choices to make, but here’s what’s going so far:

1.) Free writing. Other than my own personal writing like this blog, I’m not writing anything for free – there has to be some kind of payment in the form of some currency I really care about. I have some writing work I want to get to like my yoga / personal finance book. Writing for free when that writing does nothing for me personally just isn’t an option anymore.

2.) Writing about topics I don’t care about. I’ve done some of these assignments recently for all the wrong reasons. Being rewarded financially is important to me, and it’s equally important for me to be rewarded financially for writing about topics that are important to me and that I want to promote.

3.) Work projects and colleagues that suck the life out of me. I have some of these at the moment, and I’ve recently become more vocal at work about the projects I want and the ones I don’t want. In middle management at a large company, it’s easy to just take what I’m given and tow the company line. I can do this, but it makes me miserable. And here’s the real upside about speaking up at work – it’s created a really open relationship with my Director and VP, it’s driving change in the direction that I want it to go, and I’m getting more of the work I want. Leadership from every chair is really important and possible.

4.) Friendships that are not a two-way street. I have a few friendships in my life that are not giving me as much as I’m putting into them and have been putting into them for many years. And then in contrast I have so many that are wonderful, fulfilling, balanced experiences. Going forward, I’m focusing on the latter.

5.) Private clients for Compass Yoga who can be serviced by other yoga teachers. Originally, I thought I would take on any private clients who were willing to work with me. Now, I see that I’m looking for people with very specific needs – whether it’s confidence, or having a specific ailment that they are trying to heal – physical or mental. I’m also tremendously interested in providing yoga to people who want to enhance their creativity through concentrated focus on calming their minds. There are plenty of wonderful yoga teachers who can teach anyone with $100 / hour to spend on private yoga. I’m not the right teacher for those students. My yoga is about helping people who can’t find the physical and mental help they need elsewhere. And that distinction is important, and feel right and good to me.

Are you doing some editing in your life, too? I’d love to hear about the choices you’re making.

This week O’Reilly Media sent me a book entitled Your Money: The Missing Manual by JD Roth, the author of Getrichslowly.org. The book is chock-full of helpful money tips and resources. No matter what your level of financial management, the book has something useful for everyone. I’ll review the book in a later post, though wanted to share an anecdote in the book that applies to goal setting and how we spend our time.

Let’s say we have a mason jar, a few big stones, and a lot of gravel. We need to get all of the gravel and all of the stones into the jar. What should we do first? We could pour in all of the gravel to create a nice level surface and then try to stack the big stones on top of the gravel. If we take this approach, we find that the big stones don’t fit in the jar neatly. Now, let’s put the big stones in first and then pour the gravel on top of the big stones. This second approach allows the gravel to do what it does best – fill in the small little spaces around the big stones. Everything fits.

This analogy sheds light so many areas of our lives: how we set up our to-do lists, pack for vacation, design our living space or office, decide on a career or a job, and build relationships. We need big, clear priorities (the big stones) and then we have lower priorities (the gravel) that can fit in and around the bigger stones. Getting the big stones, our biggest priorities, placed first helps us meet with success, and ultimately drives our happiness.

On Friday afternoon, I started to feel overwhelmed with my weekend. I have friends in town, a birthday party tonight, and lots of personal things to get done on my to-do list. The jar analogy helped me organize my time:

Big stones
See my friends who are visiting
Finish the rough draft of a syllabus for a class I will teach in the Fall
Work on my e-book on entrepreneurship

Gravel
Friend’s birthday party – it’s an all-day / well-into-the-evening party so I have lots of options of how to attend
Clean my apartment for a friend who will be in town on Monday
Grocery shopping
Some blog writing
Planning for a SWSX presentation I plan to submit in the next few weeks
Get in some yoga
Doing some prep work for my Greece trip in a few weeks
and the list goes on…

Now I have a much clearer path to a successful happy weekend. Make progress on the big stones first, and then fill in with gravel when and where I can. I hope this analogy helps you, too!