Category: New York City

art, career, movie, New York City, work

Leap: Finding Meaning in Experiences That Are Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

Christa Avampato
Thomas Horn and Tom Hanks in the film Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

“And if that’s all you learned from 9/11, if that’s all you remembered, that: My God, you could extinguish life so suddenly, so unexpectedly, and it could happen to me, and therefore I should think harder about the way I spend my life instead of just wasting it. Now, it’s not going to teach you what to do with your life, but it will teach you to do with your life, and to do it more and quicker and better. And that can be extremely valuable.” ~ Mario Cuomo

Mario Cuomo made this statement in the PBS documentary about the history of New York City. It rang powerfully in my ears when I recently went to see the movie Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close. The movie centers on a family that is forever changed by the events of 9/11. And before you go thinking, “Oh great, another 9/11 movie” like I did, watch the trailer. The performances are mesmerizing. You will want to look away and you won’t be able to. You’ll want to go back home to your life as usual, and you won’t be able to shake the feeling that you need to live the life you want. Today and every day after.

I recently had drinks with a friend of mine who recently got a new job. I asked her how it was going and she replied, “It’s called ‘work’ for a reason.” That gave me pause and then made me feel very, very sad. Was I asking too much of my career? Could a job ever be something we jump out of bed for or was that the stuff of Hollywood and daydreams? This thought nagged at me. Was I a fool to believe in a better way to work? This question refused to go away for days, and then I saw Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, and then I had my answer. I stopped feeling sad for myself. Instead, I felt sad for my friend.

Work has to be more than work as we know it. Mario Cuomo is so damn brilliant and wise – YES, we have to do with our life. Anything less than that is just a waste. It must be meaningful, and not just in bits and pieces and once-in-a-whiles, but always. Every, single, day.

And this is just more fuel for the fire in my belly to work on Compass Yoga full-time. Here’s to people who want to jump up out of bed thankful for one more day, sink their teeth into life, and refuse to accept anything less. You are the rainmakers that this world needs and wants!

adventure, business, career, creativity, New Years Eve, New York, New York City, wishes, writing, yoga

Leap: My 2012 Resolution, Four and a Half Years in the Making

Christa Avampato

In 2007, I graduated from business school, where I wrote a few feature columns for my school’s newspaper thanks to my friend, Alice, who was the Editor-in-Chief. I had always wanted to be a writer but was never sure I was talented enough to make a go of it. I really enjoyed the writing and a lot of my classmates complimented the columns. At graduation, my friend, Stephen, asked me if I intended to keep writing. I smiled, looked down at the ground, and said I wasn’t sure. “You should start a blog,” he said. I laughed. “Who would read it?” I asked. “I would read it,” he said. One reader was enough for me. It was a start, a beginning, and that was really all I needed.

The week after graduation, I sat on the couch in my living room in Charlottesville surrounded by moving boxes, opened Google, and typed in “free blogging software.” Blogger came up. I had an account from when I started my first blog, Eyes and Ears Wide Open, way back in 2004. It was private because I wasn’t sure at that time that I wanted strangers reading about my life. (How funny that seems now that I live much of my life online!) I reactivated my account and started the blog Christa In New York as a way of unleashing a writer who had been kicking around in me for many, many years.

How I learned to write
After a year and a half of bumbling around learning how to write, I decided I wanted to become a really good writer and the only way I knew how to make that happen was to practice every day. And the sure-fire way to make that happen would be to publicly promise as my 2009 resolution that I would write and publish every day. I kept my resolution and in 2009, I wrote every day about hope. My greatest lesson from that writing journey was that the more often we look for hope, the more likely we are to find it.

In 2010, I bundled up all of that hope and put my daily efforts toward crafting an extraordinary life. I discovered the truth that we build an extraordinary life by finding something extraordinary in ordinary moments.

To amp up my extraordinary living, I used 2011 as a year of new beginnings so that I could get into a beginner’s mindset – exploring, experimenting, and tinkering. As 2011 drew to a close, I wondered for a long time about how I could best make use of this beginner’s mindset. Where would I go from here?

Was there an ending in all this beginning?
I wondered if this would be the end of this blog altogether. I wondered if all this beginning was leading me toward an ending of this chapter. To experiment with that idea, I gave up writing on the weekends for a couple of weeks. I missed posting every day so much that I quickly reversed that decision. Four and a half years later, writing has become an integral part of who I am and how I spent my time. It brings me a lot of joy – and that’s the #1 reason I keep at it.

Perhaps another ending was in order. I briefly considered leaving New York and relocating to the west coast. That caused me to look differently at my city. Was I really ready to move? Could I really leave behind 4+ years worth of effort building a life I love? In about a month’s time, I reversed that decision, too. New York is my home, as crazy and unpredictable as it is. It’s where I belong and that’s a joyful thing to feel.

To solve this riddle, I began to look around at the other areas of my life assessing what brings me joy and what doesn’t. I love my yoga teaching and the healthcare field fascinates me. I adore stories – written, spoken, acted, and sung. I’m passionate about doing good work for people who need help and don’t know where or to whom to turn. I’m happiest when I’m making my own choices.

An ending found
The area of my life that seems to deplete me the most is the place where I spend 40+ hours / week. Though I’m incredibly grateful for the financial stability and experience I’ve gained as part of a large company, the work doesn’t inspire me and it’s not the best use of my skills. I’ve made a number of very good friends there whom I’m sure I will know all of my life. I’ve learned so much there, about the economy, the world, and myself. As 2011 drew to a close, I became acutely aware that I have learned all that I want to learn there. It’s time to move on.

I began to look around, applying to jobs that seemed mildly interesting. I interviewed and received a few offers, though in the end they all seemed to be variations on a theme, a theme I already had in my current job. After a few months, I could see myself in those new roles, unhappy with the circumstances and no better off than I am at my current job. If I wanted the job of my dreams, I would have to build it.

A beginning that was here all along
And so I realized that Compass Yoga could provide me with everything I wanted in a job – I could teach, write, be part of the healthcare field, and help people who really needed the help. I had the job I wanted all along. The trick is now to turn how I make a life into making a living.

So there it is, my 2012 resolution: to make the leap from my job into Compass Yoga full-time. It’s going to be a long and winding road, with many different twists, turns, stops, and starts along the way. I’ll be securing my footing along the path that I know I’m supposed to walk even though I’m not yet sure of all the steps I’ll need to take. Every day in 2012, I’ll be writing about this journey and I hope you’ll join me as this path is paved. Welcome to the beginning of a transformation a long time in the making. And happy new year!

New York City, teaching, yoga

Beginning: The Truth About NYC Yoga Teacher Salaries

Christa Avampato

Well+Good NYC published a very brave post this weekend that should be required reading for anyone interested in pursuing a yoga teacher training program. I believe it is the first and only article of its kind to publish actual salary ranges for yoga teachers in New York City.

I understand why most studios and teacher training programs have shied away from putting together this type of post – it’s not good for their business. To be completely fair, the article does mention several NYC teacher training programs that are very honest with their students and I applaud their honesty. I wish more training programs would follow their lead.

Give the whole article a read when you have time. Here’s the cliff notes version – “super-established and highly credentialed yogis earn anywhere from $40K to $400K. While the salary range is huge, most yoga teachers in New York can expect to make $35K or $40K. Even if you become a really popular instructor, with 50 people in your class regularly.”

With some back-of-the-envelope math, this is how the numbers shake out:

1.) Start with $40,000 take-home pay
2.) Subtract 25% for taxes –> $40,000 – $10,000 = $30,000
3.) Assume a low rent of $1500 / month –> $30,000 – (12*$1500) = $12,000
4.) Assume $1000 of monthly expenses which includes:
food
transportation
electricity
health insurance (you need to buy your own)
clothing
personal care items
and maybe a movie or a cup of tea with a friend once in a while

You’re out of money. No savings, no room for travel or to visit family and friends, and let us hope there’s no emergency incidental that comes up (but let’s be honest, there always is!) So what do yoga teachers do? They don’t teach full-time. It’s a part-time gig that needs to be supplemented, many times by tending bar which in NYC is just about the least yogic activity I can think of.

Most teacher training programs won’t tell you this because they’re selling you the bright shiny dream of buckets of karma-filled days, luxurious retreats in tropical places, rainbows, butterflies, and unicorns. They are playing on your emotions rather than helping you to understand the current landscape. You need to be your own reality check. Reality is our friend because like a good yoga and meditation practice it grounds us. It gives us a place to build from.

I am a big believer in dreams and change. Though this is the current landscape of yoga teachers in New York City, I don’t think it will be or always has to be this way. After reading about Yoga Sutra’s bankruptcy filing, I wonder if change has already indeed begun in the NYC yoga market. It’s begging for a new and improved business model. It needs a better way forward than the current crappy business model that dominates the traditional studio scene. I’m so tired of seeing my incredibly talented teacher friends get sold a bill of goods that is as real as the emperor’s new clothes.

Change isn’t going to make itself. It requires rainmakers and firestarters to shake things up. I can take that role and run with it.

At Compass Yoga, the board members and I believe we have hit upon something really unique and interesting, something that might just get us part of the way toward cracking this nut of how to make a good living from a career dedicated to wellness. At the very least, we’re going to give it our very best shot because someone has to.

The Well+Good NYC article just added more fuel to our fire. The yoga scene in NYC is ripe for change in 2012 and we mean to be a part of moving it forward.

business, change, money, New York City

Beginning: Advice for Occupy Wall Street Protesters – You Need to Occupy the Banks’ Balance Sheets and Strategic Plans

Christa Avampato
Occupy Wall Street Protesters in New York. Credit: CNBC

I knew this would happen.

The company that owns Zuccotti Park also owns the office building where I work. On Friday, about 40 protestors made their way to our front door. I’m not sure if they know the company I work for is housed there. Once they make the connection, I’m sure the protestors will be a daily occurrence at our door.

The protestors are spending a lot time and effort occupying different areas all over the country. Say “Occupy Wall Street” and every American knows what you’re talking about. The movement they have built on a shoestring is very impressive. Their digital megaphone is stretching across the globe, and here is a sad and sorry truth: banks, the target of many of these protests, hear the protestors but they aren’t really listening. They don’t have to and they won’t, at least not to conventional communication.

The only way to get through to banks is via money – it’s the only language they understand or even want to understand. Protestors, you need to talk with your wallets. Banks only respond to outcries that are framed in the form of federal regulation or an impact to their bottom line. They actually don’t care that you’re losing your home, struggling to pay your student loans, and barely scraping up funds to put food on the table. Individually, there are a lot of people within banks who care and feel paralyzed by the organizations they work for. I work for a bank and I spend a good deal of my time trying to get us to behave better. Most of the people I work with are living in fear that their job is the next on the chopping block. The banks themselves, as their own living, breathing entities, sadly are not the people who occupy the desks in their offices. They are another beast entirely.

Protestors if you want more than public sympathy and a chance to be heard, if you care more about actually creating change than you do about news coverage – and I 100% believe you do – then you’ve got two choices to change the banks’ tune toward your message:

1.) Go Occupy Washington, the local offices of your representatives, and the lobbyists who get their attention by hitting them in their fundraising efforts. They can put federal legislation in place to make the banks change the way they do business. What gets regulated gets done.

2.) Stop supporting banks with your spending and savings. My sister, Weez, reminded me that Bank of America reversed the debit card fee they had planned to charge in response to the Durbin Amendment because so many people closed their accounts or threatened to do so if the fee was charged. Take your business to local credit unions, online banks like ING Direct who have more transparent practices and policies, and community financial development institutions (CFDIs). Cut the spending on your credit cards and stop buying their products and services. Your wallet is your microphone.

These two methods are the only kind of occupy movement – essentially occupying the banks’ balance sheets and strategic plans – that will truly be heard loud and clear.

choices, movie, New York City

Beginning: Making Good of Everything That Comes Our Way

Christa Avampato
Manhattan at night. From http://www.destination360.com

I just finished watching the 8-part PBS series on the history of New York City. The PBS series on New York closes with former Governor Mario Cuomo quoting Teilhard de Chardin, a French Jesuit paleontologist and philosopher. De Chardin said that, “One of the tricks in life is to convert everything into good.” You’re a sculptor and you have a stone with a scar in it. “So now you have to sculpt around that scar,” Cuomo says. “You’ve got to use that scar to make it part of whatever it is you’re going to produce that’s beautiful, and work with what you have. Play it as it lies. So whatever the circumstance, use it for good purpose.”

I don’t believe that everything happens for a reason. I don’t believe we are destined to go through this struggle or that hardship as some sort of predetermined development. As free thinking, free feeling individuals who have a tremendous ability to adapt to new information and new circumstances, we create reason and meaning from life. We can make good, as de Chardin encourages us to do, as Cuomo encouarges us to do. Even from the most horrible, tragic circumstances, we can learn and grow and help others do the same.

This work of making good is not easy. I’m not sure that it really comes naturally to anyone. However, on the other side of anger, grief, embarrassment, and disappointment, there lies a vast expanse of possibility if we choose to see it. Every day, we have the opportunity to take a look at our lives, the good and the bad, and draw conclusions and lessons to carry forward into tomorrow. Making meaning of what happens to us and to our communities is our greatest creative act. We are literally willing meaning into being. This is where our stories are spun, where our gifts come alive, where in the act of inferring meaning in our days they become meaning-full. Go there.

loss, New York City, sadness

Beginning: My First Visit to the 9/11 Memorial

Christa Avampato
Freedom Tower

A few weeks ago I visited the 9/11 memorial site for the first time. The last time I set foot in that area was just a few days before September 11, 2001. I was home for a few weeks during a break from The Full Monty tour. I had never been to the World Trade Center, it was a beautiful day, and I decided to be a tourist in my own town. On September 9th, 2001 I flew back to Chicago to rejoin the tour and from there I watched as those towers came crashing down. I still have a hard time believing how those events unfolded, even though I now work right across the street from the site.

I was not a fan of the design when I first saw it. I wanted it completely covered over in grass, a sanctuary to honor the thousands of souls who lost their lives there on that ground. And though I do think a park would have been better, the designer really does pay tribute to all the people we lost. A great deal of care was taken in constructing the design. There will be no way for any future visitor to forget what happened on that ground.

Flowers to honor those lost on 9/11

The fact that hit me hardest during the visit was the idea that for many families and friends, this site is a cemetery – the only place they have to visit to commemorate the loss of their loved ones. I didn’t realize this until I saw flowers stuck into the craved names of the frames that surround the giant running pools of water. These pools take their shape and position from the bases of the towers. Every visitor is hit by the enormity of those buildings and the force it took to bring them down.

The idea that I could not shake, and continue to think about every day I go to my office, is all of the lost potential that still lies in the wake of that awful day, that will continue to lie there perhaps forever. 10 years on in Afghanistan, many more lives lost, and we are no closer to a free and safe world. I wonder if that collective societal sting will always be there. On the site of this memorial, I got a very tiny glimpse of what it must feel like for all these families and and friends who are not able to move on. It’s a lovely tribute to all of those people but sadly it doesn’t seem to offer us any hope of closure or healing. The overwhelming sadness and injustice of it all is still raw and palpable.

But maybe that’s the trick. Maybe we need to confront that sadness head on. Perhaps we need to sit with it and ask it what it needs to heal. The memorial does give us a physical place to go and grieve, and to be with others who are on the same journey. It does give us a place to go to say goodbye, and in that goodbye there may very well live the opportunity to let go in some small and necessary way.

dogs, generosity, gifts, kindness, New York City

Beginning: A Downpour, the Kindness of NY Strangers, and a Community of Dachshunds

Christa Avampato

A photo I snapped of Friday's storm before a stranger rescued us with his umbrella
Phineas and I got caught in the downpour on Friday night. I had gone to pick him up from his first time at daycare and the raging storm took us by surprise as we made our way home. We were both crouched underneath an awning outside Cafe Frida, my favorite Mexican restaurant in our neighborhood. Phineas hates the rain, as most dachshunds do.

Just inside the restaurant a couple watched us through the window, looking on us with a great deal of pity. The man got up from the table and opened the door.

“We have two little dachshunds at home and we know how much they hate the rain. Take our umbrella so you can get your little guy home,” he said.

“But I can’t take your umbrella. How will I get it back to you?” I asked him.

“You don’t have to. We’re going to stay here until the rain stops and we’ve got plenty of umbrellas at home. Really – take it,” he said.

I thanked him profusely and Phineas in his tired / scared state gave him a smooch. Away we went. People often think of New Yorkers as pushy, arrogant, and self-centered. And maybe we are or can be from time to time. Though I must say that after 12 years of living in this city on and off, I’ve had more kind, generous, and selfless interactions right here in New York than I have anywhere else in the world. This was one of those times.

The wind whipped us around a bit on the way home and the umbrella didn’t keep us completely dry but it did a good enough job to get home before the next batch of really heavy rain started pelting down. The umbrella partially busted along the way, but I just didn’t have the heart to toss it in the trash can at the corner of our block. I’m going to hang on to it for a bit as a reminder of just how much good there is flowing through the streets of New York, at least if you have a dachshund in hand.

courage, nature, New York City

Beginning: I Wish the 9/11 Site Was a Greenspace

Christa Avampato

Photo I took of the Freedom Tower on 7.12.11
I walk by the 9/11 site every day. My office building is right across the street, so close that the CEO of my company saw the plane fly into one of the towers from his office on the 50th floor. In the past 6 months, the amazing people who have worked at the site for close to 10 years have made incredible, visible progress after spending so much time excavating and securing the foundation of the area. The difficulties they have worked through are astounding.

Yesterday I had lunch at Nobu New York with the amazing Lynn Altman, founder of the innovation agency BrandNow. (If you aren’t familiar with Lynn’s work, hop over to her site and check it out. She’s one of the very best in the biz and I loved working with her!) Lynn had not been down to the 9/11 site in a while and was incredibly impressed with the recent progress, which spurred me to reconsider a thought I’ve had in the back of my mind for a number of years.

I am sure the Freedom Tower will be beautiful though I can’t help but wish that we had decided to build a living, breathing greenspace rather than another set of buildings. I’m imagining an impressive, lush, beautiful park. Gardens, fountains, and a true memorial of peace, respite, and life for all of the courageous and precious souls we lost there that day and the many more who in the aftermath risked it all as first responders.

Shouldn’t a memorial to life and resilience be paved with life itself rather than concrete?

New York City, yoga

Beginning: NYC, Can I Get An OM? Me and 8,000 NY Yogis Welcome Summer with Open Arms in Times Square

Christa Avampato

NYC yogis welcome summer http://bornintocolor.tumblr.com
I welcomed the long days of the year by wrapping up what felt like a too-long day in the middle of Times Square. Douglass Stewart taught a yoga class right in the heart of it all. He helped us to focus on how to feel a part of all of that energy without letting it frazzle our nerves. Could we be present and embrace the energy without letting it burn us out? Could we focus on internal hum as we embraced the outer hum of the city all around us, and in the process could we still have fun with it all? By the end of the class, I found myself feeling so much gratitude for the energy that surrounded us. It is a conscious, deliberate choice to live in this crazy city, and I’m thankful for its energy and it dynamism. So are the 8,000 yogis who took in one of three classes held today in Times Square in honor of the solstice.

Solstice 2007
When I moved back to New York in 2007, I attended the yoga in Times Square event for the first time and wrote this post about the experience. It was a much smaller event then. I had been back for all of 10 days and I hadn’t found a job yet so I had plenty of time to get re-acquainted with New York. I spent the first part of my career in Times Square managing Broadway Shows, and spent some time living on 49th & 9th just above the beloved Coffee Pot. In many ways, this area of the city helped to sculpt my view of the world as an adult because for many years this handful of blocks was my world.

Throughout Douglass’s class, I thought back to the summer solstice of 2007. I distinctly remember being on my mat in Savasana and feeling some street dust (or what I hoped was only street dust!) fly up my nose. I was a newly-minted MBA, a novice blogger, and a little hazy at best about my future. I felt adrift but distinctly certain that I was meant to be in New York City. I couldn’t articulate why I felt that I had to be in New York; all I knew is that it felt like home and I was craving to feel at home.

Looking back, I really should have been scared out of my mind with no job, a few suitcases of clothes, and a shared apartment sublet in Astoria, Queens, graciously offered up by a friend of mine. I had enough money to survive for a month or so and then I would hit rock bottom. And here I was lying on the ground in the middle of Times Square focusing on trying to find peace in the madness. I am more optimistic than I give myself credit for!

Solstice 2011
Fast forward to 2011, and I am amazed at the transformation – in my yoga and in my life. New York has indeed become my home, I am financial stable, earn part of my income from writing and teaching yoga, and have put the art and science of business together by beginning my own company, Compass Yoga. Despite all of this change, I laid down in the middle of Times Square on my yoga mat, still excited about the future, still soaking in all the vibes the same way I did 4 years ago. Though I could mentally register all the changes that have taken place in my life in the past 4 years, I was struck by how much my body’s experience of this year’s solstice class mirrored my experience 4 years ago.

New York, can I get an OM?
Toward the end of the class, Douglass asked us to do a round robin OM in which you take a breath when you need one and just continue the rolling OM chant. It’s one of my favorite ways to close a practice. The magical part was when our OMs were complete. The OM kept rolling in the city around us. The low hum that the city has sounded remarkably similar to the OM created by all of us. Unity, yoga, at its very best.

dreams, New York City

Beginning: A Little More Air, Please

Christa Avampato
Perry Street in the West Village, New York City

“Afoot and lighthearted I take to the open road, healthy, free, the world before me.”
~ Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

When I have an intense day of activities I try to take lunch by myself. This is especially true when I’m in yoga teacher training sessions. I need that hour in the middle of a day of learning to just sit, be, and absorb with as much silence as possible. I find that if I can do that, I can be completely present with people in the morning and afternoon sessions because my batteries are recharged with that tiny amount of “me” time.

Falling in love again on Perry Street
I took some “me” time last Sunday, grabbed my lunch, and found a sunny spot along Perry Street, one of my favorite streets in New York. A few days ago I was watching Part 2 to the New York documentary series done by PBS. In that episode there is a discussion about Leaves of Grass, Walt Whitman’s love letter to New York City. In hearing those words, I was reminded of how many people have come and gone along these streets, and how for everyone there is a new discovery of their New York City experience that mirrors what so many people have felt before. Those dreams with a light and airy quality are the ties that bind New Yorkers together across time.

Where did the air go?
A few days ago, I took a dosha test – a personality test of sorts that has its roots in Ayurvedic medicine. I was a little alarmed to see how much the “vatta” or “air” quality of my personality has been pushed aside. I’m grounded and action oriented, but a little bit more of that dreamer would be good for me. On Perry Street, I was able to remember that feeling of being very young and new to New York. Even though my love affair with this city has gone on for a dozen years, I still find something new here every day. Feeling my way through the development of Compass Yoga, and the therapeutic yoga training at Integral Yoga Institute in particular, I have been able to find some of that air again. I have a new skin, a new outlook on this city and my role in this community.

Somewhere in this 12 year relationship with New York, I’ve lost a bit of that dreamy, airy quality. I’ve been so focused on paying my school loans, striving, and achieving in a city that moves at an unstoppable pace that I’d forgotten how good it feels to just let the mind wander for a bit. It’s fun to see where it goes.

Dreaming helps the living
And the best part is that after even just a short period of dreaming over lunch on Perry Street, I could get back to the business of my yoga teaching training at Integral with a renewed, open sensibility. I could be more present with my classmates and teachers. My teaching was spot on and it felt amazing. So much for the theory of idle time being truly idle. In those dreamy moments, there is serious work going on that makes the rest of our time that much more valuable to those around us.