Category: happiness

happiness, home, hope, meditation, yoga

Beginning: Finding Your Way

Christa Avampato

San Marino Island, Croatia. http://www.find-croatia.com
“Blessed is the person who finds what she’s meant to do with her life.” ~ Sonia, one of my meditation students at NY Methodist Hospital and a caregiver

I met Sonia at NY Methodist Hospital this past week during one of my meditation sessions in the Physical Rehab Unit. She is from Croatia and is now caring for her elderly mother. Her journey as a child refugee out of Croatia ultimately landed her in Park Slope Brooklyn, where she has lived ever since. That evening we took a traveling meditation in which we focused on a specific place as a point of concentration. Sonia emerged from the meditation with teary eyes and a peaceful heart. Though she has been in Brooklyn for so long, she misses her Croatia even now. Its beauty, its history, its people. “If you go through this life and never see Croatia, you are missing out,” she said. With that kind of endorsement, I dutifully added it to my list for future vacations.

We also got to talking about my work at the hospital. I told her about the transition I’m hoping to make, and surprised myself when I freely said, “I wish I could be doing the work I do here every day.” For some reason that statement made me both sad and glad. Glad that I had that kind of clarity, and sad that it is not yet my reality. Maybe Sonia sensed that wistfulness in me, because she offered up the simple quote at the top of this post. I may have offered her a meditation that night that allowed her to go home for a few moments, but she gave me much more of a lesson. To someone who’s lived a life of struggle, it seemed to her that my clarity of purpose was more than enough of a reason to be happy, to feel whole.

calm, clarity, happiness, harmony, meditation, yoga

Beginning: The Zen in You

Christa Avampato

This image is available at http://tinyurl.com/4scqgge
“The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up.” ~ Robert Persin via @Urban_Zen

During my yoga teacher training, my teacher Tracy would talk a lot about focus. One of my classmates asked her when we would know that we had tamed our “monkey minds”. She replied, “when you can meditate at a bus stop in Delhi.” We laughed. She didn’t; she was quite serious.

In that moment I started to think about different groups of people who could benefit from yoga if only they had access to affordable, conveniently located classes. It became clear to me that I truly wanted to provide yoga to underserved populations.

I came to yoga after a particularly difficult struggle with insomnia and anxiety. It took quite some time to crack the code because I didn’t really have a guide in the process. I had to figure it out on my own. Now that I’m healed, I want to be the guide to others that I wish I had when I started my practice.

I only have one thing to teach, and it’s simple though not easy. Robert Presin captures it beautifully in the quote above. You have everything you need. All the answers. All the abilities. All the knowledge. It lives in your gut. You know what you need to be well and whole. You don’t need to go somewhere else. You don’t need a new job or a new relationship or a new home. You don’t need anything except what sits within you now, at this very moment. Allow it to be.

We desperately seek happiness, peace, and harmony. We scurry around looking for it in every far-reaching corner. Just stop and sit. Close the eyes, draw the breath in, and then release it. You don’t need some fancy techniques or even the vocabulary to describe what’s happening. Just sit, breath, and be. Don’t perform. Don’t try to make an impression. Just watch and feel the breath.

This is the only practice that matters. Once you master it, once you can be fully present, the peace and happiness you want so much is readily and plentifully available whenever you want it, wherever we are. On top of mountains and at over-crowded bus stops. Your peace travels with you.

This blog is also available as a podcast on Cinch and iTunes.

happiness, opportunity, patience

Beginning: Learning to Grow Happiness

Christa Avampato

“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.” ~ James Oppenheim via my friend Sue’s Facebook page

“If only” is a dangerous way to begin a thought. If only we had more money, time, lived here, had this relationship, job, house, project, contact, opportunity. And on and on it goes. There isn’t an end to what we want (and mistakenly think we need). And there will never be an end. There will always be something out there that seems like a good idea for us to have.

When I saw Sue’s quote on her Facebook wall, I was having one of those particularly “wanting” days. I had just reached the end of my rope with a particular situation at work. I had resolved that I was going to pull a Gershwin and call the whole thing off. This would have been a very bad idea because when I made my way back to my desk the situation reached such a tremendous conclusion, one that had never even occurred to me as in the realm of possibility, that I had to sit for a minute in stunned silence to fully process my good fortune. All this time, I had thought my efforts on the project were for naught. I had no idea how much of an impact my efforts made.

I was so focused on what wasn’t going well, on my internal frustration with the situation, that I hadn’t bothered to take stock and appreciate all of the progress I had made. It was slow, incremental progress, but it was progress. Sure and steady, hard-won and not fully baked just yet. But surely there were many moves in the right direction. All the while, I forgot to notice the bright green grass growing right under my feet. I was too busy living up in the clouds.

What a lesson in staying grounded and having a very good look at the buckets of opportunity that are all around us. I’m reminded again of a favorite quote that always helps me to count my blessings – so often what’s needed is a change of self, and not a change of scene. Or as my lovely friend, Sharni, so beautifully states on her blog – “the grass isn’t greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it.” Happiness is something we can cultivate, right where we are, right now.

This blog is also available as a podcast on Cinch and iTunes.

adventure, books, career, celebration, change, choices, creativity, discovery, experience, family, friendship, grateful, gratitude, growth, happiness, ideas, meditation, New York City, story, writing, yoga

Step 365: What’s Possible? A 2010 Wrap-up.

Christa Avampato

“I am neither an optimist nor pessimist, but a possibilist.” ~ Max Lerner

As I cross over the finish line of 365 days of living and writing about an extraordinary life, I marvel at the passing of another year. On December 31, 2009, I wrote a post explaining that in 2010 I wanted to record something every day that put me one step closer to an extraordinary life.

This December 31st post is always fun to write because it’s a chance for me to reflect on the past year and realize how much has happened. Just like flipping through the New York Times’s Year in Pictures helps us remember what’s happened in the world around us, flipping through my posts from the last year lets me remember all the tiny steps that brought me to do this day.

My road to recovery from my apartment building fire:
I was in denial about the true effect it had on me and that brought me to Brian, my coach and therapist, who has helped my life grow in leaps and bounds. By June, I finally felt safe in my home again and could make my apartment feel like a peaceful space.

Stepping into the writing life:
I moved my blog over to WordPress and for the first time in the 3 years since I seriously began to contemplate living a writer’s life, earned enough money to be a freelance writer for hire. This year I connected with so many talented writers – Josh, Laura, Amanda, Erica, Sharni, Will, Sara, the Wordcount Blogathon writers, Katherine, the fab team at Owning Pink, Elephant Journal, and Michael.

I wrote and published my first e-book, Hope in Progress: 27 Entrepreneurs Who Inspired Me During the Great Recessions, a compilation of 27 of my interviews that I conducted with entrepreneurs through my Examiner column.

Yoga at the forefront of my life:
I completed my 200 hour yoga teacher training at Sonicstarted Compass Yoga, my own small teaching company, and will begin teaching a regular Sunday night yoga class at Pearl Studios NYC. Through Sonic I was inspired by the incredible teachers and the 23 amazing women in my class whom I hold so dear after our journey together. My yoga teacher training helped me to establish a regular meditation practice and cured the insomnia I’ve lived with all of my life. I found the joyful noise of kirtan, which re-ignited my interest in music. Yoga led me toward a true contemplation of my faith and spirituality that continues down a very healthy, peaceful path. There are not words enough to thank the people at Sonic for how much joy they brought to my life, but I gave it a shot in this post about our last class and the closing ritual of the training. I am forever and happily indebted to them.

Some wrong turns, too:
I studied for my GRE and despite doing well on the exam, Columbia sent me an email that began “we regret to inform you that you have not been accepted” [into a PhD program in education]. I wrote a curriculum for LIM College that I was tremendously excited about, and then the class was canceled at the 11th hour for reasons that still make me shake my head. I was so excited to be selected to serve on a jury and sadly realized just how imperfect our system is. I still think about the case on a regular basis.

Making peace with New York living:
In 2010 I fell in love with New York City, again and again and again. It became my home. Our love hate relationship ended its many years of turmoil and now we’re living together in a general state of bliss, with an occasional side dish of annoyance, just for good measure and because, well, it’s a very New York thing to do.

A few unexpected journeys:
I conquered my fear of swimming in open water while on a yoga retreat in Greece. I found that mistakes can be joyful.

Wonderful new additions to my family:
We happily welcomed my new little niece Aubree and after years of wondering whether or not I should get a dog, Phineas, a sweet little dachshund, has graced my life via the Humane Society and New York dachshund rescue.

And 10 valuable life lessons that I’m grateful for:
1.) Goodness is created and remembered by sharing what we have with others.
2.) Shouting dreams helps bring them into being.
3.) Stubborness can be a beautiful thing.
4.) We get what we settle for.
5.) Obstacles in our lives are valuable.
6.) We never have to wait to live the life we want.
7.) Letting go is sometimes the bravest and best thing to do
8.) Trusting our gut is the best way to get to get to the decision that’s right for us.
9.) Be thankful for less.

My favorite and most treasured discovery of 2010:
10.) Truly extraordinary living is found in very ordinary moments.

Wishing you a very happy start to 2011. Thanks so much for being with me on this journey that was 2010.

The image above makes me feel free. Find it here.

career, happiness, work

Step 349: 4 Ways to Turn Your Work Into the Fountain of Youth

Christa Avampato

“To find joy in work is to discover the fountain of youth.” ~ Pearl S. Buck

Imagine if 40 hours a week you worked at a place that felt joyful? As long as there are people there will be politics and disagreements, but what if on the other side of those aspects there was a firm common belief among the entire team that everyone’s goal is to build as strong and vital a company as possible. What if egos could be put aside for the sake of the common good. That’s the kind of place I’d love to spend my time, and I’d be more than happy to offer up as many as hours as needed.

Somewhere along the way toil and work became synonyms in our society. Americans started to do whatever they needed to do to earn the title, the paycheck, and all of the prestige that goes along with both of those things. My friend, Amanda, and I were talking about how difficult it can be to walk away from a job that looks so good on paper and to the outside world. Stay in that type of job long enough and we’ll lose a little part of ourselves. Don’t be seduced by the check and the title – what we make matters, and if what you’re making doesn’t matter to you then we’re all missing out.

4 Ways to Love Your Work and Find the Fountain of Youth:
1.) Follow the energy
2.) Make 3 lists: what you would do for work, what you might do for work, and what you will never do for work. Then spend 2 weeks roughly keeping track of how much of your current work falls into those 3 buckets. If you’re spending too much time in the might and the never buckets, it might be time to find something new.
3.) Use your performance review time wisely. This is a great time of year to clearly (and calmly) let your employer know where you want your career to go. Can’t have that type of conversation with your boss? Then it’s definitely time to think about what else you’d like to do.
4.) What did you want to do when you were 8? Or 9 or 10 or the first time you remember being really excited about having a career? Can you get back there?

What’s worked for you?

The image above is not my own. It can be found here.

gifts, good fortune, happiness

Step 346: The Blessings We Don’t Expect

Christa Avampato

“When we lose one blessing, another is often, most unexpectedly, given in its place.” ~ C.S. Lewis

After seeing the off-Broadway show Freud’s Last Session, a possibly close-to-true meeting between Sigmund Freud and C.S. Lewis at the start of World War II less than a month before Freud’s self-prescribed passing, I’ve been seeing C.S. Lewis everywhere. Not literally of course, he passed in 1963, but in quotes, in the advertisements of movies and theatrical productions based on his books, as the topics of numerous blog posts. So many authors are known for being brooding figures, dark and sometimes troubled individuals. One of the things I love about C.S. Lewis is his true belief in joy and his long journey to find it. His own autobiography is entitled Surprised by Joy: The Shape of My Early Life.

In this season of counting our blessings, I came across Lewis’s quote above. I’ve seen lots of quote on how to turn lemons into lemonade and the like. This quote is different – it recognizes that we may lose people and things we love and cherish, that we will be disappointed not by not getting what we want, but by getting what we want, exactly what we want, and then grappling with it slipping through our fingers. Lewis counsels us to hang on, to keep searching, to believe that even in the hour of our grief another happiness is just beyond our doorstep.

I like the sentiment and today, on a rainy, gray Sunday, I’m celebrating it. It keeps me believing that life is always full of surprises and that we should constantly be prepared to be delighted.

The image above is not my own. It can be found here. I have no idea where this place is but I believe that in a place so beautiful it must be overrun with unexpected blessings.

happiness

Step 342: 6 Things That Make Me Happy

Christa Avampato

Happiness is one of the most sought-after possessions in the world. It’s a process, an ebb and flow. Sometimes it’s elusive and other times it’s present in great abundance. Science has recently taken an increased interest in happiness recently, releasing a number of studies on how to attain it and how to keep it.

I came across an article in Yes Magazine that details 10 things we can do to improve our own personal happiness. It’s a very short read and completely worthwhile. It also got me thinking about the 10 things that make me happy in my day-to-day. In no particular order:

1.) My dog, Phineas. The other day I got home from grocery shopping and ran into one of my neighbors. We chatted for a bit, and Phineas heard us so I opened the door and let him run around the hallway a bit. He ran right up to my neighbor with his characteristic joy as if he hadn’t seen her in years. She turned to me and said, “With that to come home to, how could your day ever really be that bad?” She’s right. He makes my day-to-day life so joyful.

2.) My network. I’ve got great friends and a great family. My relationships are, and always will be, my most valuable asset. They’re priceless.

3.) Time. I’m very lucky that most of the time my working hours are very manageable and allow for lots of free time to pursue my own projects. My yoga and writing are possible because I have a well-paying, mostly 40-hour / week job.

4.) A quiet home. Many years ago, I lived in Washington Heights in a much larger and less expensive apartment than I live in now. And while I loved the culture of my neighborhood, it was so loud that for a year I barely slept. It was an exhausting existence. Now I have a peaceful home. It’s small but it’s enough. My own little place where I can go to get away from it all. And I’m so grateful for it every morning when I wake up, rested.

5.) The freedom and resources to learn. Sadly there are so many areas of the world where people are not free to be curious and industrious. Too many people now, even in this country, don’t have the means to get the best education. I was lucky to go to college during a time when federal aid was readily available and fairly affordable. My education made the life I have now possible. It’s an amazing gift.

6.) New York, NY. Let people say what they want. This is the greatest city in the world. It’s a fascinating, bubbling place of diversity. The whole world really is here, just a few steps outside my door every day. You really can be anything you want to be in this city. No matter what pack you wish to join, it’s here. Or feel free to just go it alone, too. This city has freedom in abundance. It’s a place for people who want to build their own road, by their own design.

What keeps you smiling?

The image above is not my own. It can be found here.

food, friendship, happiness, writer

Step 341: The Simple Joy of Ramen

Christa Avampato

My friend, Michael, took me to Minca, a ramen restaurant on Friday night. Like so many wonderful traditions from other countries, we have twisted ramen into a cheap, nutritionless, freeze-dried meal encased in plastic on our grocery store shelves. It is the stuff of college student diets. In Japan and other parts of Asia, ramen is a sacred, beautiful, nutritious ritual. I could hardly believe how incredible I felt eating a piping hot bowl with a good friend. It was good for my soul.

Michael learned about Minca from Rameniac, a blogger who espouses his love for the delicious dish. Michael sent me a few links and closed out his email about it with such an elegant, thoughtful commentary: “Rameniac became so well-known after a few years that he started getting picked up by the LA Times. He works as a web developer by day, but because he can work essentially anywhere there is internet, he makes frequent excursions to Japan and a few other locations known for good noodles to gather field research. With cynicism and sensationalism selling so many books and magazines these days, it’s heartening to find someone who can derive so much joy from a bowl of soup.”

I couldn’t agree more. There’s so much beauty in simplicity. Give Rameniac a read, go grab a bowl, and enjoy!

Pictured above: a delicious bowl of ramen at Minca

adventure, happiness, luck

Step 317: Waking Up Ecstatic

Christa Avampato

“Joy is not in things; it is in us.” ~ Richard Wagner

I take Phineas outside for his walk early in the morning. Thankfully with the end of Daylight Savings Time, the sun is now up before we are. This week we stepped out of our building to meeting a friendly, gorgeous yellow lab. He that characteristic big head that he just nuzzled right into my side and Phinny just loved him. When Phineas really likes someone he doesn’t just wag his tail; he wags the whole back-end of his body.

The lab’s owner, and I’m embarrassed to say I didn’t ask her name, said “wow, he is just ecstatic!”

“He wakes up that way every morning,” I said.

“Isn’t it inspiring (and exhausting),” she laughed.

I laughed, too. Up to that point, I hadn’t thought of how inspiring it is to be around a constantly ecstatic little being like Phin, but every morning since we met our friend, the lab, it’s the first thing that pops into my head. Phinny wakes up every morning, happy to get another day and he goes for it with everything he’s got in his little 15 pound body. He doesn’t hold back his energy or enthusiasm, he says hello to everyone, and he always approaches even our most routine routes as if they’re brand new experiences. It’s truly awesome, and yes, inspiring. We should all feel so lucky to get another day.

adventure, free, happiness

Step 295: Life’s No Fun Unless You Dance

Christa Avampato

“My violin teacher, the amazing Kato Havas, has a workshop visual that has always stuck with me. She leans on a table, holds it with both hands, and says ‘I am safe – I will not fall – BUT IT’S HARD TO DANCE!’ ” ~ Trish Scott

Through this blog Trish Scott has become a friend and mentor. I reviewed her book about animal communication last week after she gave me some brilliant advice about training Phin, my adorable dachshund who I adopted a month ago from the Humane Society. This week Trish left the comment above on my post about letting go of the need for certainty. I love the comment so much that I had to feature it in a post of its own.

It’s understandable, common, and perfectly normal to seek safety and security. And once we get to a place of comfort, particularly after we’ve been uncomfortable for some time, it can be tough to leave. Adventure makes us feel alive; it can also wear us out. We need to rest and recoup, and then we need to be prepared to dance again. Dancing, in one form another, is what we’re built to do.

Trish’s comment paying tribute to her violin teacher reminds me of the famous quote by John Shedd – “A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.” Our lives are meant for living, and in the process there will be disappoints and hurt feelings and frustrations. We won’t always get where we want to go when we want to be there. We’ll struggle and strive and work like crazy to achieve and grow and prosper. And once we’ve “made it”, there will be a great temptation to stay right where we are. After all, isn’t this place of security what we’ve been working so hard for?

In the very wise words of Haitian culture, “behind the mountains are more mountains.” There is always more to see and do and learn. That’s one of the things that makes our world such an incredible place. Hang on to the table and regain your balance. Rest a bit, and then get going again. You owe it to yourself, and to the world, to scale that next mountain that’s calling your name. Don’t worry about taking up the challenge – in the distance there’s another mountain, followed by another table and another time for rest. It’s a cycle like any other, so go ahead and dance.