Alice in Wonderland – my inspiration to believe in the impossible
On Friday, I had a meeting with someone who explained his definition of vision: “It’s something that keeps us constantly reaching; a place we never really get to. And if by chance, we do reach our vision then we know that we haven’t dreamed big enough.” His idea intrigued me. I’d never heard it put quite that way before. It caused me to think that maybe I’ve been selling myself short; perhaps I haven’t dreamed big enough. And maybe it’s time. Can I make 2015 a year of wonderful and inspiring impossibles? I guess I won’t know unless I try.
The idea you have right now feels like the best work you’ve ever done, the best work you ever could do. And it should. That belief is what’s going to help you see this one through!
As good as your present project is, the best is yet to come. As I worked on Sing After Storms, I started to formulate other story ideas. I jotted them down as briefly as I could, and put them aside until Sing After Storms was done. Then I looked back at that list when I was ready for my next project. That’s where I found the seeds for Emerson Page and Where the Light Enters.
The muse works in mysterious ways. It bubbles ups when we least expect it. Get the ideas down; they’re gifts. They’ll be exactly what you need when your next creative burst of energy strikes.
Me, my mini niece, my mini dachshund, and my MINI Cooper
Yesterday I placed the next piece of the puzzle in the great re-engineering of my life—I bought a car. And not just a car, but my dream car. I had to decide between a MINI Cooper and a Honda Accord. I’ve wanted a MINI from the time I first saw them over a decade ago.
Thank goodness my sister, Weez, went with me yesterday. We test drove both cars and I was going to go for the practical Accord, even though it was slightly more expensive than the MINI. My sister wouldn’t have it. “The MINI is your dream car. If you aren’t going to go for your dream now, then when?” I bought the MINI. And I love it.
This lesson applies to everything we do. Now is the time for every dream. Today and every day, take your best shot.
Every once in a while, usually in the middle of the night, I question everything I’m doing. “This is insane to try to be a full-time writer given my business background and education,” I think. It is insane, and it’s also necessary. I have to do this or for the rest of my life I’ll wonder what I could have done if I had just had the guts to try. The future doesn’t make any promises to anyone. It doesn’t owe us anything. It won’t work for us, nor against us. It’s going to just be, and what we do with it is entirely up to us. If you really want something, the time to go for it is now.
“Now that she had nothing to lose, she was free.” ~Paulo Coelho
Last week I wrapped up my final pieces of consulting work to make the leap to write full-time. Leading up to that moment, I felt a bit of trepidation. I’ve done well as a consultant for 2+ years and I worried about letting go of a good thing. The letting go was difficult but being in this new space isn’t. I don’t have anything left to lose and that is a very good feeling. It’s freeing and empowering. All I see ahead is open space where I can create. Now, everything is a canvas and I’ve got all the colors I need to paint something that matters. I’m home.
People say they care about issues, but what people really care about are people who have issues they care about. To motivate someone to reflect and then act, we need to give them a flawed character, someone who’s far from perfect but incredibly likable. Give us a hero or heroine to root for in an against-all-odds quest that forces him or her to grow, evolve, and rise up to a seemingly impossible challenge. We care about that, and that is the seed of all fiction. It’s about character.
My novel, Where the Light Enters, is about Emerson Page, a 15-year old girl who’s been dealt a tough hand and is forced to take an improbable journey that only she can take to save a world she never knew existed and that we all desperately need to remain intact. My book is really about the two greatest sources of magic we will ever have: love and stories. It’s about being brave enough to follow the light that is within us. It’s about the goodness we create when we have the courage to manifest the gifts and talents we are all born with and to celebrate our ability to craft a world in which we take care of each other.
Fiction isn’t invented. It’s with us all the time; it’s the very best part of us. It’s grounded in our potential and our aspirations. Fiction is who we are and who we want to be. That’s why I’m writing a novel: to inspire everyone who reads it to figure out who they are, who they want to be, and how to cross the bridge that connects the two. That’s my issue.
Part of the puzzle of pursuing a path that is meaningful to us involves learning to weather the tough times. I’ve had my fair share and I’m sure have many, many storms waiting for me around the bend. These few things help me to keep going when the going gets rough:
I look for the good. Every situation, no matter how difficult, has something good about it. A friend rises up to help in a way I never expected. I gain more compassion for other people who go through tough times. There’s always some light in the darkness.
I make sure I learn what go me into the tough situation and what will get me out. As long as I learn something to help me avoid making the same mistake again, I think of it as a win.
I stop. When I face a challenge, I step back and ask myself if I really carry enough about the end goal to keep going. This reflection helps me to understand my priorities.
I let myself feel really bad. Buddhism teaches us that the only way to move through adversity is to feel the full range of emotions it brings – anger, fear, sadness, disappointment, rage, etc. We have to give ourselves room to feel anything and everything that arises. Only after I’m truly done with those emotions do I pick up and try again. Don’t put a timeline on that process. Sometimes I bounce back almost immediately and sometimes it takes much longer than I’d like it to take. Emotions are like that. They can’t be forced to do anything. They just are. We have a right to all of our feelings and it’s healthy to exercise them.
Failure and disappointment are a part of every life. I don’t know a single person alive who’s ever gotten every single thing they ever wanted. When I fail or when I’m disappointed, I eventually remind myself that this means I tried to reach for something that meant a lot to me. I tried and in the process, I lived. When I look back, I’d rather have a life filled with “oh well” rather than a life filled with “what if”.
“You cannot value dreams according to the odds of their coming true.” ~ Justice Sonia Sotomayor
All dreams are difficult. If they were easy, we’d be able to check an unlimited number of them off our to-do list every day. They take time and heart. Sometimes they cause a great deal of difficulty. If working toward them makes us feel alive, if we the time we spend on them feels like time well spent, and if we learn something in the process no matter what the outcome, then they are worth every ounce of effort we put into them. Dreams are tricky like that. Their real value is not in their achievement but in how they help us evolve toward our best selves.
Big dreams inspire and terrify, usually at the same time. I often look at where I want to go from where I am, and all that runs through my mind is, “Well how the hell am I going to get up there?” I search around the base of the vertical mountain and eventually I find a foothold. It’s small, but solid, so there’s my first step. From that slightly elevated view, I find another small place to grip and pull myself one inch higher. This is how the journey of every big dream goes: many small bits of progress taken one at a time. The key is to get started right now and not give up. Concentrate on each small win and the greater journey will take shape in its own way and in its own time. In the words of Dr. Seuss, “Your mountain is waiting, so get on your way.”
Yesterday I was offered the largest consulting contract of my career. I turned it down because it’s not the work I want to do anymore. Was that the right choice? Definitely. Did it hurt to let it go? Absolutely. I was referred by a former client to organize the annual meeting of a private equity firm. I could have played that role and done the work with no problem, but I’m committed to writing full-time and that gig would take me away from my dream. This is the tough work of commitment, the work no one tells us about. Focus and commitment are not a one and done deal. They requirement constant vigilance; temptation to veer off-course is everywhere. The opportunities you don’t take will be scooped up by other people who want and need them. Do your work. Walk your road.
Christa Avampato 