Category: decision-making

change, decision-making, happiness

Leap: Bringing Happiness Into Focus

Christa Avampato
From Pinterest

“Happiness can only be found if you free yourself from all other distractions.” ~ Saul Bellow

If we sit down to write out our goals, how likely is it that we would list “be happy”? The great majority of us want to be happy. I’ll go so far as to say that’s the whole point of having goals. When we talk about wanting our lives to have meaning and to be purposeful or when we work on following our bliss, happiness is the root goal.

And yet, we get distracted. We list a million other tasks and goals that we think will bring us happiness but we don’t focus on just being happy. It’s as if that goal is not lofty enough or it’s too self-indulgent. I’m dropping that hang up. When someone asks me why it is that I’m making such a big shift in my career and in the way my life is structured, my reply will be very simple – because it makes me happy.

art, choices, decision-making

Leap: Everything An Artist Cannot Know

Christa Avampato
From Pinterest

There is a freedom in not knowing what to do next. We cannot be right nor can we be wrong so we don’t need to worry about the decision. All we can do is clearly see the options, try one avenue, and then try another if need be. Once we can admit this to ourselves, embrace it and be okay with it, a lot of the stress falls away. The suffering of our lives lies in our indecision to act, not in our actions.

choices, decision-making

Leap: Sacrifice is Another Word for Investment

Christa Avampato

Whenever we’re working on something big, something bigger than we think we’re capable of doing, we have to make trade-offs. We give up some time, some flexibility, some funds, maybe even some fun activities that we would otherwise do.

In times like this, I find it’s most helpful to think of sacrifice as investment rather than loss. It’s really a transfer of energy. We give up a bit now to work toward achieving something tomorrow that will help us fulfill our purpose. Investment causes us to re-prioritize, and that re-prioritization implies change. Change is never easy, even when it’s welcomed. There is always a period of adjustment.

Be kind to yourself in these times of transition. Understand that what you give up today pales in comparison to the joy and satisfaction of realizing a dream. Recognize that we always have a choice, and in making these investments we are living up to the responsibility of carving our own path.

Let it unfold. Give it the time it needs to show its true and full value. There will be plenty of time for reflecting on and judging the choice. Now, commit to making the most of it and giving it the very best shot at success.

adventure, career, decision-making, determination, inspiration

Leap: A Daily Can-Do Mantra

Christa Avampato

I found this image on Pinterest. I immediately hung it up at my desk to read out loud any time I get scared as I begin this new adventure to merge my career with my personal values. It makes me feel strong. I hope it helps you, too.

adventure, choices, decision-making

Leap: Your Path is Up to You

Christa Avampato

“Travelers, there is no path, paths are made by walking.” ~ Antonio Machado

A path is a nice idea. We see it laid out before us, unfolding one glorious step at a time, and all we have to do is go along for the ride. Paths I’ve found are rarely given. They’re made. We make them so by paving them ourselves.

This can feel paralyzing at first. If everything is up to me, then where do I begin? How do I know what to do first, second, and third? What happens if I get lost or run out of energy? What if the way I’m heading is not the way I want to go?

And here’s an unappreciated truth about way-finding in life: we all start at zero. No one in this world was ever born walking. We spent time learning to roll over, pushing ourselves up, scooting, crawling, walking, and running. No one knows what you should do. There are examples and models that you can learn from, maybe even borrow from. But no one has ever lived your exact circumstances at this moment in time. You get to choose where, how, and with whom you spend your time.

You are an original by design, and so is your path. Create it.

choices, creativity, decision-making, stress

Leap: The Monkey Mind and The Inner Sage Can Walk Together

Christa Avampato

When we’re in a funk, it can be tough to pick our heads up and re-energize. When we’re down and out, sometimes it feels easier to stay that way. And for a while, I think that’s true. Every once in a while we do have the right to wallow a bit when something doesn’t go our way. The opportune word is “bit”.

Throwing a pity party
I have a friend who gives herself exactly 24 hours of serious self-pity when true disaster finds its way to her door – she turns on the music she only listens to when she really needs to bawl her eyes out, pours herself a stiff drinks, dives into a carton of ice cream, and lets herself feel truly crummy. And 24 hours later she is required to pick herself up, dust herself off, and leave the house. No excuses.

That’s how I felt last week on a particularly low day. I didn’t follow my friend’s course of action, though I have absolutely no qualms with it. Having lived with insomnia for many years, I give myself the chance to have one night of less than fantastic sleep. I’ll let my challenges toss and tumble through my mind at any speed they wish and I don’t stand in their way. As a yoga and meditation teachers who often focuses classes on taming the monkey mind, that skipping, jumping, frantic mind whirr we can all find ourselves in from time to time, I could stop the mania and get some rest. The monkey mind gets its way for one night and one night only. And here’s why:

The monkey mind has a voice…
When we’re unsettled, rattled, and confused, there’s a reason for it. Usually we’re reacting, understandably, to some past experience and our minds are trying to equate our current situation with a past situation in order to search for solutions. There are a lot of valuable lessons in this process – the monkey mind never forgets the emotion caused by feeling unsettled and with good reason. In its own special way it is trying to protect us, spare us from past discomforts. Let it play its part.

and it’s persistent.
If you don’t let the monkey mind have its say, it will eventually force you into listening. Think about a child who doesn’t get enough exercise. He will wind himself up and up and up until he finds a way to release his energy. So let him go run around in the park and give his energy a productive outlet. Keep him cooped up inside and he’s likely to start developing all kinds of unfortunate behaviors and feelings. And he should. Stress needs to be exercised so we can get past it. Mind chatter is no different, and if you listen closely you’re likely to find some small kernel of truth that begins the process of reinvention.

What comes of chatter
In my case, my properly exercised mind chatter transforms into fearlessness. I attempt to decision-tree my way through just about every challenge I face. “I could do this or that, and this action will lead to this consequence, and that action will lead to that consequence, which means I’ll need to….” You see what I’m saying.

So I let my inner decision-tree maker have her fun in the sun. She smooths out the sandy surface, gets out a stick, and goes to town etching her branches in the sand all the way down the beach. She gets one night to crank it all out and then the next morning that tide of reason is coming in to soften it up and wash the worry away. And then she toddles off to bed, spent but in a good way. She said her piece and wrote out all her fears. I listened carefully, and then I moved forward.

The meditation that was a long time coming
It took a long time for me to develop this tool, this imagery, and use it in my daily meditation whenever I feel any sense of anxiety. For many years, I knew nothing but a monkey mind and then for several more years I tried very hard to get her to shut up. Neither approach worked. The balance – energy and peace – is so much more valuable and in moments of high stress I remember that the stress is there for a reason. It has a purpose. It has something to teach me. We can take the concerned many of the monkey mind and distill them down to the vital few of the inner sage. Give the two the chance to walk together.

That’s how decision-making works best: lay it all out on the table, no judgements passed. The real heart of the matter is hidden in there somewhere. Give yourself the chance to explore your thoughts, really peel each layer back, and see what you find. The truths buried in there may surprise you.

career, choices, decision-making, meditation

Leap: Making a Big Career Choice Earlier Than I Expected

Christa Avampato

I’ve got some career choices to make in a shorter time frame than I planned.

The company I work for is going through some reorganization. Minimal reduction in headcount lots of reshuffling. This comes as no surprise; what surprised me was that I would have options. There are several different places that I could land in the organization. It may also be possible for me to opt-out, wish them well, and be on my way into the unknown. I’ll spend the next few weeks gathering information, assessing possibilities, and asking for a lot of advice from the smartest, most creative people I know.

In many ways, I wanted someone else to make the first move – to place me in a role and then have me decide if I wanted to stay or go. That’s how I had it mapped out in my head – node of decision tree and then just two branches depicting my choices. We should never underestimate life’s ability to surprise the hell out of us. I must be the first mover in this case.

Brian, my coach, and I talk a lot about the hero’s journey in which the hero chooses between different roads without any of them obviously being the better choice. It’s about choosing the road that is the best for us, at this moment, with the imperfect information we have. It comes down to trust. Trust in us.

I’m going over to my meditation cushion now, closing my eyes, breathing in, and breathing out. The answer will rise up if only I am ready to hear it. When it appears, you’ll be the first to know.

choices, decision-making, travel, work

Leap: What We’re All Really Doing Here

Christa Avampato
Photo by Mark Nethercote

“We‘re all just walking each other home.” ~ Ram Dass

I read this quote from Ram Dass and it stopped me in my tracks. It reminded me that we are here to be of service to one another. All we’re ever really trying to do is make life a little bit easier, a little happier for someone else. And we do this in all sorts of ways – through friendships and romantic relationships, community service, teaching, new products and services, and art that inspires and intrigues. And it’s all part of the same journey – one destination, a fulfilling life, and many paths to get there.

We’re all on our way home. We may be on different timelines, with different stops along the way, but we’re all part of one another’s adventures. It’s an honor to bring other people into our lives and have them take us into theirs. The only questions we really have to answer at the end of every day is this: did I make this day worthwhile, for me and for others? Did I help someone travel a bit lighter, get a bit further, and smile wider than they would have without me?

That’s what I’m doing here – for my students, my friends, and all of the people I have the extraordinary privilege to interact with every day. It’s a gift to be with them, and I treat every moment with that same belief. We’re just encouraging one another as we make our way forward.

choices, decision-making, money, time

Beginning: How to Make a Living While Making a Life

Christa Avampato

For a long time I’ve defined that I make a living as a product developer and I make a life by writing and teaching yoga. My dual-life can get exhausting, and more than that, I think it’s wasteful. And I hate waste of any kind. But this dual-life, in the short-term, is the safe road. It helps me to hedge my bets without really make any bets at all. I’m having a tough time letting go.

As we begin to turn our attention toward the end of the year, I begin considering resolutions as a means of focusing my efforts for the turning of the calendar page. In 2012, my big ask of myself is that I figure out a way to bridge my worlds, turning how I make a living and how I make a life into one and the same.

One of the very happy side effects of meditation is how the mind becomes capable of time travel. Even now at the age of 35, I can imagine myself as a very old woman. And in that older me state, I can play out scenarios. If I don’t jump into Compass Yoga with both feet in 2012, I will regret not giving it my all. If I just play it safe, keep my head down, and find a way in the short term to be content with this dual-life, I’ll look back at 35 year old me and ask, “What were you so afraid of? Now time has passed you by. It’s too late. The window has closed.”

For over a year now, I’ve weighed the choice that scares me against the one that feels safer. Maybe I’ve been looking at this all wrong. The Hero’s Journey is about choosing between two options that are equals, not between one good choice and one bad choice.

Perhaps these lofty life decisions are decisions in which we choose the fear we can live with over the fear we can’t live with. Faced with the choice of fearing the leap and fearing that my life’s purpose has passed me by, I’ll leap. Now the trick lies in helping my younger self understand that this is the reality of the career choice I’m wrestling with.

Time is often equated with money, but the two have relatively little in common. Money is replaceable – we can find a way to earn money through all sorts of avenues. We cannot buy time. We have no way of making up for it; we have no way of re-earning it. Once spent, it is spent for good.

In the coming months, I will make it a point to remember that how we spend our time is the greatest choice we make because time is the most precious resource we have. It is irreplaceable.

choices, decision-making, discovery

Beginning: Planning Leads to Much More Than Plans

Christa Avampato

“Plans are useless…planning is indispensible.” ~ Einsenhower

As a relentless planner and practitioner, I’ve sometimes wondered if I slog through this process in vain. After all, so few of my plans work out the way I want them to go, or the way I think I want them to go. Maybe planning is a waste of time.

Now, come on, you didn’t really think I’d throw in the towel on planning did you? How could I toss away this highly attuned skill for scenario mapping, decision tree drawing, and pro con list making? It took a lot of work to get here, and even if my plans don’t work out it’s not a waste to plan, is it?

According to Ike, it’s very valuable. And I agree. I do love the act of planning, outcome aside. I like to think about possibilities and compare them to one another. Planning gives me a chance to consider how I want to spend my time and with whom. It gives me time to reflect on past experiences and to relive their lessons. Planning makes me realize just how far I’ve come along in life and they get me excited for what’s ahead. Planning is the compass for self-discovery.

I’ve often heard it said that the act of giving is its own reward. I think that goes for planning, too.