I tell wonder-filled stories about hope and healing
Destiny is a decision—yours. As we approach the end of the year, spend some time thinking about what went right, what went not-so-right, and decide what you want 2015 to look like. Unexpected things will happen in the new year, of course, but we have much more control than we give ourselves credit for. You have everything you need to shape it and direct in a way that brings you all the happiness you deserve. Choose to give yourself exactly the year you’re hoping to have.
“Never mistake motion for action.” ~Ernest Hemingway
It’s important to keep moving forward, no matter how slowly. Sometimes I find I’m moving forward rather aimlessly and that’s when I stop to reassess. Where am I trying to go? And why? And how? And with whom? These kinds of questions ensure that I’m not just in motion but that I’m taking action. Action is motion with purpose. And if I find that I’m moving in a direction or along a path that lack this definition of action, or that the action isn’t authentic to who I am and who I want to be, I change direction. My path is winding, but every step is meaningful.
‘Tis the season to drain our bank accounts and buy a lot of useless merchandise that won’t mean anything come, oh, about December 28th. We have an embarrassment of riches in this country. I don’t need 99% of them.
I really appreciate that my friend, Leah, posted this link a few weeks ago from the International Rescue Committee. $58 buys a year of education for a young girl in Afghanistan, Lebanon, or Congo. $18 provides a mosquito net for an entire family that prevents malaria, a disease that impacts half the world’s population and kills one child every 60 seconds. $25 is enough to provide an innovative solar lamp and charger to those in places such as Iraq and Syria who have to flee from violence with little or no access to electricity.
Similarly, gifts can be made to local food pantries, homeless shelters, and schools. I’m blessed beyond belief to have everything I could ever want or need when it comes to material possessions. I don’t need anything else. I’m guessing many of you don’t either. We’re the lucky ones. This holiday, let’s give and receive gifts that count, gifts that help others who really need our care and compassion.
“All the work worth doing is about taking the long way.” ~Seth Godin
I always look for shortcuts, ways to get twice as much done in half the amount of time. I’m ridiculously impatient with myself, and many times that serves me because it forces me to make the most of every opportunity and maximize my creativity. But when I’ve been forced to take the long way, when no other way was possible, I’ve never regretted it. I tried to enjoy the view and stay open to what may happen that I had never planned. The long way, while never preferable for me at the outset, has always ended up being a blessing because it took me in directions I never knew existed. The next time your route feels more circuitous rather than a direct shot, take a beat and look around. Every step along the path has a lesson. Take it and use it.
As we round the corner to the final month of 2014, I’m taking stock of every area of my life. I’m not sure where it’s all heading or what 2015 will bring, but I do know this: I am resolved to keep my head up and my heart open to new possibilities. Right now, nothing is off the table. There will come a time for sorting and deciding but now it’s time to shake the trees. I’m prepared for surprise at every turn. I’ll do my best to enjoy the (very uncertain) ride.
What we do with our days is of course what we do with our lives. I used to think that crossroads were a few times in a lifetime experience. Now I see that my whole life is a daily series of a crossroads, especially as an entrepreneur and a writer.Some crossroads are larger than others. Certain times of year, like the end-of-year holidays, magnify them.
At the moment, I’m at a pretty significant crossroads in every area of my life. Moving to a new city, and subsequently setting up a new life, brings everything into question because life literally becomes a blank slate. All my old habits and patterns are gone. I could start something completely brand new, re-jigger what I’ve already got, or continue along the same path in a new way.
I don’t have any definitive answers yet, but I do have three key questions that I’m spending a lot of time with now. If you’re in this same place, I hope the following questions help you, too:
1.) Internal question: Look in. Take money out of the equation; we’ll put it back in later. What would make you excited to hop out of bed in the morning and get going?
2.) External question: Look out. What’s happening in your city that sounds like something you’d like to be a part of? Whether it’s a community of hobbyists of some kind, a certain activity, or a place where people come together, what’s already there that you could build onto rather than starting alone completely from scratch? If there’s already a conversation happening, or a group of people have assembled around a particular interest, then there’s some indication that there’s already some level o forward momentum that you can leverage.
3.) Blended question: Move the two answers above toward one another. Where’s the overlap? Where’s the disconnect? The answer I’m looking for lies not in the internal, nor the external, but where the two come together.
Like the start of a new relationship, the start of a life in a new city (or even in your same city) is filled with a jumble of feelings: trepidation, confusion, excitement, joy, and uncertainty. Let the wild ideas flow. Building is messy, but it’s also fun. Enjoy the ride.
The purpose of my life is only this: to be a proliferator of good-a** vibes. Everywhere I go. Everything I do. I want it all to add up to this. That feels like the best possible way to spend my time. It helps me. It helps the world. Everyone wins.
No matter what decision you have in front of you, there are only three possible answers: give up, give in, or give it all you’ve got. They all have a place in our lives. The important thing is to know which answer to use when. Here’s my little cheat sheet that’s never failed me:
If what I’m doing doesn’t bring me joy, I give up.
If I’m afraid of moving forward, I give in (and give myself over to the experience.)
If I’ll regret not taking the road ahead of me, even if it seems difficult and frightening, I give it all I’ve got.
Above all, make a choice and stand behind it with conviction. The choice itself is empowering, and it’s yours.
Too often we make choices—what career to have, where to live, or what to make for dinner—based upon what we think other people will like. Next time you make something, anything, make it for you. Make what delights you, what makes you happy, what fills you up. Who cares if it’s good? Who cares if anyone else likes it? If we aren’t entertaining ourselves then what’s the point? Create for you.
Time doesn’t get away from us. Put a plate of your favorite food in front of you when you’re starving and then force yourself to stare at it for 10 minutes without moving a muscle. That 10 minutes will feel like an eternity when in reality it passes just as quickly as any other 10 minutes of your life.
What matters is attention and intention. What we focus on and what we do with that focus is what allows us to give our time meaning and value. Don’t throw it away and don’t let other people waste it for you. Treasure your time. It’s a gift, and it’s yours, and only you decide how to spend it. Master its use. Make it count.
Christa Avampato 