Category: choices

apartment, choices, decision-making, home, time

Beautiful: We Get What We Settle For

Christa Avampato

56c4727c6ae55ca9ddfedcc23445eb2e“We get what we settle for.”

This powerful statement is one of the most incredible lessons I learned working with my therapist and coach, the amazing Brian. I used to think of settling as such a negative word, as if it meant we were somehow giving up or selling ourselves short by settling. Brian turned that around for me.

I learned this lesson in a big way yesterday when I secured my new apartment. Phin and I will be taking up residence at a new place in our neighborhood on April 15th. I wish I could have found a place that was a little bit cheaper, sans any broker fee (though they did give me a discounted fee), and a full one-bedroom. Still, the place is beautiful. I get to stay in my lovely Upper West Side neighborhood right across the street from the park. Because I’m sticking with my current management company, the paperwork was a lot less than it would have been otherwise (especially since I work for myself). It has all the conveniences of my current full-service building and is newly renovated. I will continue to enjoy my western facing view, can break my current lease without penalty, and won’t waste any time hunting for a new home on a tight timeline.

I settled. The new apartment isn’t perfect. I didn’t get every single thing I wanted, but it’s a wonderful fit. And that’s what settling is all about – doing the very best you can with what you’ve got.

career, choices, decision-making, time

Beautiful: The Doors of Our Lives

Christa Avampato

3c33fede4cc8d8cc5206d8873851c641“The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.” ~ Flora Whittemore

I’m in the midst of choosing among different doors, literal and figurative. I’m looking for a new apartment. I’m considering where to take a long vacation this summer. I’ve got several new career opportunities in front of me – I’m now trying to decide whether to take all of them, some of them, or none of them. At the ripe old age of 37, I’m thinking about what matters most in my personal life and how that should take shape going forward.

While these big decisions can be daunting, I also have to remind myself that this is the real stuff of life. This is the fun stuff. Choosing which doors to open, which paths to take. Each of these choices alters the course of the journey, in big ways and small ways, and I am so fortunate to have the ability to decide which way to steer. Life doesn’t happen to us; it happens because of us.

career, choices, grateful, gratitude, time

Beautiful: The Art of Living

Christa Avampato

63b511e384dfa2398a6f4ae9b3f63a6aLast weekend, I read the New York Times opinion article by Erin Callan, former CFO of Lehman. Having climbed to the top of the corporate ladder, she found that the view wasn’t worth the work it took to get there. She gave up a lot of her life to reach that position and in the article she expresses profound regret. I am glad that I took the leap from that path long before I lost my perspective.

Now my life is a work of art, and for that I am immensely grateful.

choices, decision-making, dreams, money, time

Beautiful: When It Comes to Dreams, Knowledge and Heart Are More Important Than Money

Christa Avampato

3c80a0916199a692da2f1c3a572eb9a0“Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale

Money takes its lead from the heart and the mind. If we have true passion to do something, that kind of passion that refuses to take no for an answer, then somehow we will find a way to afford that dream. We will sacrifice for it. We will compromise and make certain concessions in other areas of our life in order to see it through. We will make the time for it. We will find a way to make the money to fuel it.

When we consider how to spend our time, we should put the logistics aside. They are important, but they are secondary. Our focus should be what we care about and why it matters. The “how it will get done” details will flow from there.

choices, decision-making, discovery, risk, time

Beautiful: Make Room for What You Want

Christa Avampato
From Pinterest
From Pinterest

“Everything comes to us that belongs to us if we create the capacity to receive it.” ~ Rabindranath Tagore

Here’s the one thing I know about getting the life you want – you must make room for the people and things in your life that matter in order to find them. To find peace, you must be peaceful. To find happiness, you must be happy. To be in love, you must love. Do the work that gives you joy so that you discover the work you are meant to do.

Making room often means taking a risk. We have to let some things go, we have to turn away certain opportunities, so that we have the space in our lives to receive the blessings we want. My very wise friend, Susan, once told me many years ago that I should never compare options to one another, but rather to compare each one to what I really want. It’s one of the truest pieces of advice I’ve ever received, and I try to live it every single day. It’s not easy, but my God is it worth it!

adventure, choices, experience, faith, time

Beautiful: All Beginnings Are Hazy. Don’t Let That Scare You.

Christa Avampato
From Pinterest
From Pinterest

“Beginnings are apt to be shadowy.” ~ Rachel Carson, American marine biologist, conservationist, and author of Silent Spring

We have such a strong desire to know what’s next before we leap. It’s understandable; the unknown is frightening. We don’t know what to expect and it’s difficult to prepare when we don’t know exactly what we’re facing. Panic sets it. We freeze and wait for more information.

Although I thought I knew what I was getting in to before I’ve taken any of my leaps, in my career and in my life, the truth is that what seemed to be sure wasn’t really sure at all. Sometimes things didn’t pan out as I expected, and sometimes that was a wonderful thing. Sometimes, it wasn’t. Sometimes, I faltered and lost my footing. Many times I fell, and then I got back up.

When I look back on those leaps that led me to land in a place that was entirely different from what I expected, I am grateful for my ignorance. I am grateful that I didn’t have all the answers. If I had, I may have never taken those leaps at all. And in the end, they were all worth it because they led me to where I am, a place I am so glad to be.

In the past, I worked very hard to collect what information I could and based my decision on that information. To be honest, the information I collected wasn’t all that valuable. All that time I spent waiting to make a decision didn’t yield much except lost time. In the end, my gut always new what to do when I would invariably get myself in a bind. It didn’t need all the answers; it just needed me to have faith in…me.

Now, I’m getting better at trusting my gut from the start. One thing I can always be certain of is my gut’s ability to do what is best for me. And I’ve learned to trust in my own abilities to handle any circumstance, predicted or otherwise, that arises. Hazy beginnings no longer phase me; every journey is apt to have surprise twists and turns. I embrace them; that’s where the fun is.

child, children, choices, education, teaching, technology

Beautiful: Teaching Kids to Code Will Create a More Peaceful, Healthier, Happier World

Christa Avampato
from http://learninggamesnetwork.org
from http://learninggamesnetwork.org

At the Joan Ganz Cooney Center at the Sesame Workshop, I work on the National STEM Video Game Challenge, a youth game making competition for students in grades 5 – 12 that runs through April 24th. Everyone I talk to about the Challenge is interested in why I chose to leave my corporate job to work on projects like the STEM Challenge. There is a very simple, concise explanation – to help kids build a better world.

With our world becoming increasingly complex, technology is playing a larger and larger role. Soon, knowing how to code will be as much of a requirement for employment as knowing how to use basic computer programs like Excel and Microsoft Word. In short, engineering will become a part of every professional field. People who build products and services using technology, or who at the very least understand at a deep level how technology works, will have the greatest influence over the global economy. A stable economy creates a stable world.

The best way to engage children with technology in a healthy, meaningful way is through games that are fun to play and teach them important skills like reading, writing, language, design, science, and math. With these skills in their back pockets, they will not only have a better understanding of the world around them but will be able to shape the world in which they wish to live. They will be empowered to build strong, healthy communities and they will be able to connect with, learn from, and share their experiences with people across the globe.

Learning to code is the key. Sit down with the children in your life, whether you are a parent or other family member, teacher, mentor, or afterschool program volunteer. Show them how technology can help to change their world for the better. The STEM Challenge will give you a place to begin. Let us help you and your kids get started today.

action, choices, time

Beautiful: Time Is Your Teacher

Christa Avampato
Gandalf
Gandalf

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” ~ Gandalf from J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Fellowship of the Ring

Time is a powerful teacher. It reveals our priorities, even when we are not fully aware of them. It makes us efficient and raises our awareness. As we watch time fly by, we are motivated to make the most of it. It causes us to rise up and follow our dreams.

In my younger days, I remember hearing older people tell me that the older we get the faster time goes. I didn’t believe them. After all, this hour doesn’t pass any quicker or slower than any other hours. It’s our perception that changes it. Time teaches us that, too – our perception changes our experience.

The passage of time can feel scary because ultimately we begin to realize that our finite amount of time is indeed finite. We can lengthen that time with good health, but we can’t change the fact that eventually it will come to an end. Don’t let that frighten you into paralysis. Use that unabiding, universal truth to make changes today. Do something you really want to do and do it right now. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Follow through. Stop putting off decisions and start making choices that help you live a life you’re proud of at every moment. Live. Really live.

career, choices, opportunity, work

Beautiful: How to Know When to Let Go of an Opportunity

Christa Avampato

66938dw9i9fftf5-300x300Opportunities are everywhere and if you took every one that came your way, you’d wear yourself out before you even got started. You’d also become highly distracted from the work you’re meant to do. Turning down an opportunity, especially when it’s a particularly good one, is a tough call. We second-guess our judgement. People give us their opinions and plant fears in our head with sayings like “well, if you don’t take this opportunity, someone else will.” I say that’s just fine. There is more than enough opportunity to go around for all of us. Your only job is to figure out which ones are right for you and then make the most of them.

When I first left my corporate job last summer, I was offered a freelance gig immediately by another division of my former employer. I knew the VP well (I actually adore her) and knew the work would be fun. However, it didn’t align with what I really wanted to do and why I left my employer in the first place. I wanted to focus my energies on consulting for nonprofits in the education and healthcare space, my teaching, and my writing. While this freelance gig would have paid well, it wasn’t what I wanted to do. So, I turned it down. The VP totally understood and left the door open for me if I ever changed my mind.

You should have heard the firestorm from some people in my life. “You should take it so that you have a big client on your books right away.” “Are you crazy? You can’t afford to turn down work when you’re first starting out.” “You can’t always do work you love.” Mind you, this was day 2 of starting my new company.

I didn’t listen to the criticism. I knew I did the right thing for me. I think what really flipped people out was that if I turned down work that wasn’t right for me, what did that say about their decisions to do work that wasn’t right for them?

At the beginning of January, I was offered a gig with a client I had worked with before. My first gig with them was not fun but it paid well and gave me an opportunity to learn a new skill set. It was a good experience but I had no desire to repeat it. When they came back to me and asked if I’d like to work on a new opportunity with them, I turned it down. Another firestorm ensued, this time directly from the client and the headhunter who had negotiated my first contract with them. I easily stood my ground because I was very clear about my own goals.

And that’s the trick. I’m a firm believer in you following your goals, not the goals of others. What do you want to learn? What kind of work do you want to do? What type of industry / company do you want to work with? What matters most to you? If this whole shindig is up tomorrow and it’s game over exactly where you are, will you feel good about the legacy you’ve crafted? Those are the only questions that matter. Let other people wage their own battle with their own choices. Your concern is how you spend your time, and that is work enough.

choices, happiness

Beautiful: What to Do Once You Answer the Question, “Am I Happy?”

Christa Avampato

481983_420884124659822_1621485679_nA friend of mine sent this over to me on Friday after she received it from someone else. I love it because it’s so true. We have a choice when it comes to our happiness.

The question “Am I happy?” is very important. We should be asking ourselves this question every single day. If the answer is “no”, the next question is critical. “Do you want to be happy?” I’m always glad to help people who want to be happy and are willing to make some changes to be happy. I don’t spend a lot of time with people who are unhappy and don’t want to make any changes to be happy. Honestly, I can’t help those people. No one can.

Happiness is a choice. No one is stuck in an endless cycle of unhappiness that they are incapable of breaking. Happiness is something we create. Happiness, and unhappiness for that matter, doesn’t happen to us. (Obviously this doesn’t hold in rare, extreme circumstances like war, violent crime, etc.) It happens because of the choices we make and what we do with the results of those choices. It’s all up to us.