I tell wonder-filled stories about hope and healing
Author: Christa Avampato
The short of it:
Writer. Health, education, and art advocate. Theater and film producer. Visual artist. Product geek. Proud alumnae of the University of Pennsylvania (BA) and the Darden School of Business at the University of Virginia (MBA). Inspired by ancient wisdom & modern tech. Proliferator of goodness. Opener of doors. Friend to animals. Fan of creative work in all its wondrous forms. I use my business skills to create passion projects that build a better world. I’ve been called the happiest New Yorker, and I try hard to live up to that title every day.
The long of it:
My career has stretched across Capitol Hill, Broadway theatre, education, nonprofit fundraising, health and wellness, and Fortune 500 companies in retail, media, entertainment, technology, and financial services. I’ve been a product developer and product manager, theater manager, strategic consultant, marketer, voice over artist, , teacher, and fundraiser. I use my business and storytelling to support and sustain passion projects that build a better world. In every experience, I’ve used my sense of and respect for elegant design to develop meaningful products, services, programs, and events.
While building a business career, I also built a strong portfolio as a journalist, novelist, freelance writer, interviewer, presenter, and public speaker. My writing has appeared in The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, PBS.org, Boston.com, Royal Media Partners publications, and The Motley Fool on a wide range of topics including business, technology, science, health, education, culture, and lifestyle. I have also been an invited speaker at SXSW, Teach for America, Avon headquarters, Games for Change, NYU, Columbia University, Hunter College, and the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America. The first book in my young adult book series, Emerson Page and Where the Light Enters, was acquired by a publisher and launched in November 2017. I’m currently working on the second book in the series.
A recovering multi-tasker, I’m equally at home in front of my Mac, on my yoga mat, walking my rescue dog, Phineas, traveling with a purpose, or practicing the high-art of people watching. I also cut up small bits of paper and put them back together as a collage artist.
My company:
I’m bringing together all of my business and creative career paths as the Founder of Double or Nothing Media:
• I craft products, programs, and projects that make a difference;
• I build the business plans that make what I craft financially sustainable;
• I tell the stories that matter about the people, places, and products that inspire me.
Follow my adventures on Twitter at https://twitter.com/christanyc and Instagram at https://instagram.com/christarosenyc.
“Human beings have two ears and only one tongue. Why is this? Probably so that we have to listen twice as much as we speak.” ~ Henning Mankell
I read Henning Mankell’s article in the Sunday Times on the edge of my seat. He is a brilliant Swedish author who has spent almost 25 years off and on living, working, and creating in Mozambique. In the article, Mankell explains how African storytelling and narratives are about to burst onto the world literary stage.I couldn’t be happier about this development!
I went to Africa for the first time in 2007 after decades of dreaming about it. Immediately, I felt at home in a place that should have felt incredibly foreign. It was as if I had been there before, many time before. It felt like comfortable. It must have been our mutual love affair with great stories that made it feel so familiar.
We have the opportunity now to listen and share stories across continents, over oceans, and through the decades. The stories we tell today will be preserved in some way for people to read hundreds of years from now long after we’ve crossed over to whatever is next. Whenever we feel most alone, most frightened, we can take comfort in the stories of others who have had similar experiences. Go to Google. You’ll find them there, just waiting for you – your people, all holding a seat of your to sit around the proverbial campfire and share.
Storytelling in an act and art as old as time. It began with the very first person and will end with the very last. Storytelling and listening are more innate, more human than anything else we do. And its craft is within all of us.
“Listen to the mustn’ts, child. Listen to the don’ts. Listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossibles, the won’ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me … Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.” ~ Shel Silverstein from Where The Sidewalk Ends via Dailygood
My friends Leah and Peter are having their first baby in January. (That lucky little one has two of the most amazing people in the world as parents!) I recently went to their baby shower and instead of a card we were asked to bring books to get their baby’s library started. I went to the bookstore near my office and by the end of it found myself with not a book but a stack of books after a solid hour in the children’s book section. (I finally settled on Goodnight, Moon and several Dr. Seuss books for Leah and Peter.)
I find this genre incredibly inspiring because it reminds me of a time when I fully believed that anything was possible – I could be an astronaut, a paleontologist (which was my childhood occupation of choice), or a brain surgeon. I could travel the world, live on top of a cloud, or discover an underwater civilization. There were no boundaries and books were my way of traveling across the universe. They still are.
Shel Silverstein remains one of my favorites for his optimism and eternal belief that we all have something to give. As we turn the page to 2012 and I turn much more of my attention to the work my life was meant for, his words will be comforting in the low moments and encouraging as I make my way up this “great big hill of hope.” And isn’t that what all our best adventures come down to – pushing on and pushing through despite all the mustnt’s, don’ts, shouldn’ts, impossibles, won’ts, and never haves? We have to continue to have faith in the idea that anything, absolutely anything, can be if it’s what we truly want and what the world truly needs.
Those words – push through, push through – will be ringing in my mind over and over again every step of the way in 2012.
I was surprised how sad I felt selling my bookcases. I dusted them off one last time before selling them to some nice people on Craig’s List who will make good use of them. They’re lovely, but just to look at them you’d really have to wonder why I was sad to part with them.
I bought these bookcases without a second thought because they were exact replicas of the ones I had in my previous apartment prior to an apartment building fire that ruined most of my belongings and brought my greatest fears out into broad daylight for the world to see. The recovery from that event was a long, hard road. As I set about putting my life back together physically and emotionally, it was easier to just replace some of the things I had rather than find things that really fit the space. That was my rationale anyway. I was lying to myself.
More to the story
What was really happening was much deeper and disturbing. I was desperately trying to recreate my space and be the person I was before the fire. Both were fruitless efforts. There was my life before the fire and then life after, and the two could not be the same. I was changed in ways large and small, some known to me and some that would remain entirely unknown for several years. Those Crate & Barrel bookcases held a lot of emotion and history for me. In selling them, that emotion was released, freed. And then there is a hole that remains.
It’s not a hole meant to be filled in or repaired or rescued. It’s a hole that reminds me in a striking way that this life and our time is so precious and short. It’s a hole that reminds me that while we search for and seek out meaningful and life-changing events, we forget that we cannot go back once we go through them. They change our view of the world and our place in it. We are left to make meaning of them, largely on our own.
We can’t run forever
For a while, we will try to dress up these events. We will valiantly and unflappably try to put the pieces back together, to recreate our reality. This is the safe way. The braver, and ultimately healthier, way to travel through change is to recognize that we will have to imagine our way into a whole new reality. We will have to let go of what we’ve known in favor of a new and richer understanding of life and of ourselves.
In dusting off my bookshelves, I also quite literally dusted off my life. I wiped away some of the leftover pieces of the fear and hurt and sadness that have remained in the embers of that fire. Like dust bunnies, I didn’t even know they were there until they stared me right in the eye. I flinched, and then swept them away. I had to.
The healing way
Recovery from trauma is a slow and winding process. We can’t see beyond the bend and we have only what is right in front of us. That was then and this is now. Trauma warps our sense of time, our sense of reality, and we will trip and cry and laugh and feel lost and then found again. We will be strong one moment and crumbling the next. This cycle doesn’t go on forever, but it does go on and we can’t always predict its timing or triggers.
That’s how it goes – there’s nothing linear about healing. The path doubles back on itself again and again. All we can do is be patient and persistent in our pursuit of wholeness. And I do believe, ardently and passionately, that we can all be whole. And that with enough time, we will be.
Lorelei and I at her Fall Festival. She got her face painted like a butterfly.
I spent the Thanksgiving holidays in Florida, and got a lot of time with my 4-year old niece, Lorelei. She likes to play the game I call “Touch the Ceiling” where she asks me to reach way up on my tip-toes and then jump to see if I can touch the ceiling. I’m 5’2″ and the ceilings in my niece’s house are at least 10 feet if not more. My vertical is decent but it’s not that good.
I laughed the first time she asked me to do that and told her that I couldn’t touch the ceiling because I was too short. “Well, you could always try,” she said to me. This back and forth happened multiple times over the holidays. Lorelei would ask me to do something like figure out how to fly up into the sky, put both feet behind my head, and open up a seemingly un-openable bottle cap. Each time I would say I didn’t think I could do it, and each time she would tell me I could try. And she was right – we have nothing to lose by trying.
After this exchange happened a few times, Lorelei got me thinking about all of the times I say to myself, “Oh, I just don’t think this is going to work.” And then I remember her wise and wonderful counsel – give it a go and maybe I’ll surprise myself. And what’s the worse that will happen? I won’t make it, and that’s okay, too. At least I gave it a shot. Failure isn’t as bad a we make it out to be.
I have a sneaking suspicion that this advice will serve me well in the new year. I hope it helps you, too.
(Thanks to Yoga Freedom’s prompt yesterday through Reverb11. The question “What lesson or piece of wisdom did you learn from a child this year? Did it surprise you?” inspired this post. And thanks to Jeffrey Davis for suggesting that I participate in Reverb11 through Yoga Freedom. So glad I took that advice!)
“Intelligence and capability are not enough.There must be the joy of doing something beautiful.” ~ Dr. Govindappa Venkataswamy (Dr. V) – via Daily Good
As the year is winding down, I’m winding my way through Escape from Cubicle Nation: From Corporate Prisoner to Thriving Entrepreneur by Pam Slim. It’s addressing a lot of the concerns (some valid, some not) that I’ve had about Compass Yoga and my desire to work for myself full-time. It’s also been able to help me put together a plan of how to make this transition with unflappable grace and the best possible chance of success.
Work needs to equal joy
If you’re on the journey of entrepreneurship, too, and you don’t know where to start. Take Dr. V’s advice in the quote above (and then buy Pam’s book for everything else that follows!) There has got to be a great element of joy in the actual work you want to do. And while that’s true whether you work for yourself or someone else, it’s absolutely vital if you’re on your own.
When someone else is paying you a steady salary and benefits, you begin to weigh that against whether or not you really love the work. It’s easy for a lot of people to justify not loving the work when they have a lot of other benefits. On your own, the income may be unsteady (especially in the start-up phase) and the fringe benefits could be a step down from what you’re used to. In those moments, the joy of the work has to be a large part of the comfort you receive. Without it, the whole plan fall to pieces. The joy is the linchpin.
Why I’m glad I didn’t try to be a full-time freelance writer
For the past few years, I had been thinking about transitioning into being a freelance writer full-time. This would have been a very bad idea for a lot of reasons, and the main reason is that I actually don’t find joy in just the act of writing. My joy is found in writing exactly what I want to write, when, where, and how I want to write it. That is not always the choice of a freelance writer, and certainly not of one who is just starting out.
I took a fairly lucrative freelance writing job about legal topics for a newsletter that is sent to lawyers. I wrote a total of 3 articles and hated every single minute of it. If I had been a full-time freelance writer, I might have needed to continue in the contract to support myself. As a side job, I dropped it and learned a valuable lesson in the process.
Get going with joy
There are a lot of business ideas out there and a lot of unmet consumer needs that are ripe for entrepreneurs to take up. Find the ones that generate so much joy that you can’t wait to dig into the work. And be clear about exactly the work you love to do – there’s no such thing as too much detail in their definition. Then work like heck to put a structure around that joy so that you can afford to live a lifestyle in line with your values.
Last weekend, Michael and Amy (friends and fellow Compass Yoga board members) came over to my apartment to shoot our first set of homespun yoga instruction videos to upload to our new YouTube channel. The channel is now live and we would absolutely love to have you stop over there and let us know what you think!
For veterans and their families
We created this first set of videos specifically with veterans and their family members in mind. As many of our troops in Afghanistan and Iraq return home in the coming months, they will go through an adjustment period as they transition. These videos are meant to be a resource to turn to in moments when they feel anxious, are unable to relax, and feel tension, depression, or fear. Though inspired by the needs of veterans and their families, the videos are available for free and unlimited viewing to anyone who has an internet connection so give them a whirl and let us know what you think!
How you can be a part of our YouTube channel
Additionally, we’d also like to post videos that inspire people to live lives that have a focus on health and well-being. If you have a video that you’d like us to upload – and it could be something as simple as you speaking into a camera and explaining how you’re living a healthy life – then we’d love to post it. Drop me a line and we’ll talk about how to send it over.
In the coming months, we’ll be filming and posting more short sequences as well as guided meditations. We hope they will be of great benefit to a wide range of people across the globe. Stop by and let us know what you think!
A few days ago I read a post entitled, “Top Five Regrets of the Dying.” Sound morbid? Read it anyway and learn from those who are preparing to cross over. They’ve taken the time to spell it out for us so that we can learn from their mistakes before it’s too late for us to do anything about them in our own lives. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about these ideas since I read them and I hope they always sticks with me.
For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.
People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try to honor at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship.
Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice.
They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to themselves, that they were content when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
“If you want to be a rebel, be kind.” ~ Pancho Ramos Stierle
James Dean. Steve Jobs. Richard Branson. These are rebels, and so often we think that to live up to this title we have to be difficult, unruly, and surly when necessary. This week I wrote about a few other rebels: Gandhi and Martin Luther King. These men are a wholly different kind of rebel. They believed in kindness and peace, and their power to overcome. And it’s this belief that kindness and peace in all circumstances will win the day, even if that day would be a day they’d never see, that has allowed others to pick up where they left off.
Gandhi and King were unusual for their times. Many people around them were rising up and raising their fists in the process. They understood the sentiments, but they chose to fight in new and different ways. In the process of rebelling against unjust systems and social constructs, they also rebelled against the common ideology of the day believing fully that their methods of peace would build steady, sustainable progress. And they turned others, millions of others, to their way of thinking and living. They inspired people the world over in their efforts and continue to inspire many today.
Kindness builds legacy and when it’s all said and done, legacy is everything.
Working full-time, running a new nonprofit, plugging away as a freelance writer, keeping up with friends flung across the globe, and taking part in all of the exciting goings-on in New York City can take a toll on even the most organized person. My reflexologist, Heather, said to me on Wednesday, “Christa, your brain is swollen.” This is one of the incredible values of holistic care. To look at me, you wouldn’t know my brain is swollen. Heather knows better.
I needed to find a better way of wrangling all my projects, tracking their progress, and planning my next steps. Gmail, Google calendar, and my DROID are an incredible help, but I needed more than that – something open source, mobile and online, customizable, sharable, and preferably free. I got some incredible suggestions on project management software but they weren’t exactly what I needed.
I consulted my friend, Amy, who also has a wide set of interests and projects. She gave me a few suggestions, once of which is Remember the Milk. At first glance I was smitten and now I’m completely in love.
Remember the Milk’s clean, bright, and intuitive interface is exactly what I need. I have different to-do lists for each of my projects, each to-do can have a note attached to it with further detail and a due date. It is available online and through a large array of mobile devices and syncs with many of my existing services like Google Calendar. (One I’d love to see them add is Evernote, where I track all of my online links.) I can email tasks to myself as well and it archives all of the tasks I’ve completed. And all of the above is sharable with contacts and groups of contacts.
If you need to add more orchestration to the different pieces that comprise your life, I highly recommend giving Remember the Milk a try. (It’s also great for simpler things like, well, remembering to pick up milk on the way home.) It’s taken the pain out of project management and restored the joy in the projects themselves.
“Human beings have two ears and only one tongue. Why is this? Probably so that we have to listen twice as much as we speak.” ~ Henning Mankell
