I tell wonder-filled stories about hope and healing
There’s always time for silly time. And it’s so good for us.
Here is my one mantra today on my 37th birthday. I’m letting go what doesn’t serve me to make room for more beauty, happiness, wonder, and magic.
Last weekend, I read the New York Times opinion article by Erin Callan, former CFO of Lehman. Having climbed to the top of the corporate ladder, she found that the view wasn’t worth the work it took to get there. She gave up a lot of her life to reach that position and in the article she expresses profound regret. I am glad that I took the leap from that path long before I lost my perspective.
Now my life is a work of art, and for that I am immensely grateful.
As much as I respect my mind’s desire to protect me, I also respect my heart’s ability to guide me. Some obstacles are real, most are imagined, and I take time every day to let my mind and heart sort out which is which. The ones that are real obstacles, I turn into opportunities to grow strength, determination, and creativity. Nothing is impossible.
Happiness has more to do with our health than any other factor. If we can find a way to be happy, really and truly happy, we can find a way to be healthy.
It’s time to stop saying “I can’t” and start finding a way toward “done”.
Whenever I hear Billy Joel sing “New York State of Mind”, I get a little misty-eyed. Call me a sap. This is my city and I love any and every tribute to it. Don’t get me wrong – it’s a loony bin here and you need to be a little crazy to call this place home. When God doled out the crazy genes, or at least the ability to tolerate and even revel in it, I got more than my fair share.
Just as it’s good to step away from work to feel more energized about it, it’s also good to step away from our homes to appreciate what they offer. So off I go to the sunny skies and sandy shores of Florida, one of my 4 annual pilgrimages to see my family, horse around with my nieces during our spontaneous the-world-is-our-dance-floor dance parties, and shop with my mother and sister at places like Target and Publix, the stalwarts of suburban life where everything closes by 9pm and Ellen DeGeneres is queen. It’s such a different pace of life than mine in New York, and I welcome it.
Also, my pup, Phin, is there while I hunt for and settle into a new apartment that’s quieter and more spacious for the two of us. I wish I could tell you I am more excited to see my family than my dog, but it’s just not true. They’re even-steven. I miss his fuzzy face on a minute-by-minute basis and can’t wait until he’s with me again full-time. In the meantime, he’s being lavishly spoiled by my mother, a devout dog lover who thinks canine-liness is next to godliness. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, folks.
I’ll also be rounding the bend into year 37 on the 17th while I’m in Florida. My sister asked me what I’d like to do for my birthday. Honestly, I just want to relax as much as possible, take a few long walks, barbecue, and watch cartoons with the people I love most – in that order. The older I get, the more fun I find in the ordinary.
While I’m away, my posts will be considerably shorter, composed mostly of images and a few words. I hope you enjoy them as much as I’m prepared to enjoy Florida.
Some times the very best thing we can do for our work is to not work.
On Saturday, I took the day off in honor of a self-imposed Stop Day. I have only taken a handful of days away from anything related to work since leaving my corporate job and starting up my own business last June. I love my work. It gives me energy and inspires me. I’ve never felt the need or desire to work long hours out of guilt or a belief that working more hours will get me further ahead on some nebulous ladder to the top. I give what a job needs to be done well and starting my own requires a lot of my time to tend to clients, do the work I committed to do, pitch for new business, and research possible future pitches. (See my 3X3X3 article for my system of working.)
Lately, I’ve been reading a lot about how stepping away from work helps make us more efficient and creative. Since I am an efficiency hound and constantly trying new ways to boost my creativity, I decided to give it a purposeful whirl.
It was much more difficult than I imagined. Because I do enjoy my work so much, I found myself constantly coming up with new ideas that I could do and people I should connect with. Rather than act on them, I would make a quick note of these for later and then let them go. I put aside any reading that was even remotely related to any work I do. I stayed off my social media channels (for the most part) and didn’t write anything related to assignments I currently have.
After a couple of hours, I did feel a surge of energy and did a free writing exercise whose results even surprised me. A gush of words flowed out on a subject I haven’t thought about in years. I guess they had been trying to break through the surface and saw that they finally had their chance.
By early afternoon, it was time to get outside and enjoy the sunshine. I went to brunch at Lobster Joint with a dear friend and then we took a several hour walk all over lower Manhattan, reveling in the sunshine. I stopped into Crumbs, my favorite cupcake shop, to pick up some goodies for a cocktail party that another friend had spontaneously decided to throw at his apartment that night. I arrived at the party and then stayed many hours later than I had planned.
It was a truly wonderful and relaxing day. And you know what? The sky didn’t fall down and my business didn’t tank just because I took a day off. In fact, despite daylight savings time, I hopped up out of bed and was excited and inspired to get back to my work without the stress of a to-do list. My efficiency was higher. My energy was cranking even without the zip of coffee. I felt really alive.
Stop Day will make a regular appearance on my schedule going forward.
“Having all the answers just means you’ve been asking boring questions.” ~ Joey Comeau
We have such a desire to know. Why did something happen to us? Why are we in our current situation? What will happen next? We dig for answers. We hypothesize, experiment, discover, and document.
There are some things that cannot be explained. There are some things that we only understand with the gifts of distance and time. There are some things that are mysteries and will remain that way. We cannot know it all, at least not right now. And there’s something reassuring in that; something that’s even kind of fun.
No matter how much we learn or how much we have, there will always be more questions. And where there are more questions, there are more discoveries to be had. There will always be fuel for our curiosity, a need for our imagination and creativity. There is always hope that tomorrow the picture will be a bit clearer than it is today. Interesting questions give us a reason to keep going.
Given my deep love for dogs (especially my little guy, Phin), a friend of mine sent me this story. My friend doesn’t know the author and I searched online to no avail. It’s a beautiful story about a veterinarian and an amazing little boy as he confronts losing his faithful pup, Belker.
“Why Dogs Don’t Live as Long as People. Answer of a 6-Year-Old.”
Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog’s owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.
I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn’t do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.
As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.
The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker ‘s family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.
The little boy seemed to accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker’s death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.
Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ”I know why.”
Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I’d never heard a more comforting explanation. It has changed the way I try and live.
He said,”People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life — like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?” The 6-year-old continued,
”Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.”
Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.
Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
Take naps.
Stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Be loyal.
Never pretend to be something you’re not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.
Enjoy every moment of every day!”
