Today I’m writing my author’s note and acknowledgement sections of my novel, Emerson Page and Where the Light Leads. With a May 14th release date, tomorrow March 1st is my last day to submit anything to my publisher. I’ve procrastinated (which to be honest I never do because it’s not at all in my nature) writing these sections for two reasons: 1.) I’ve been heads-down on my dissertation and 2.) I’m scared. My first full messy draft of my dissertation is nearly done so now I need to get over my fear and write these last 2 pieces.
Why am I afraid to write them? First, these are very personal sections of the book. I want them to be meaningful and poignant as I talk directly to the readers and publicly thank those who have been instrumental in the creation of this book in particular. At the time of this writing, the world is a heavy place. Since my first Emerson Page novel, Emerson Page and Where the Light Enters, was released in 2017, the world at-large and my world in particular have gone through seismic shifts. I want to say something that gives people hope, and I want to express my immense gratitude as clearly as possible.
Maybe that’s it. Maybe that’s where I start, exactly where I want these pieces of the book to land—with hope and gratitude. If I can get those two ideas across to the readers, then I’ll have done what I set out to do.
Emerson Page and Where the Light Leads by Christa Avampato
Five 5-star reviews for my upcoming novel, Emerson Page and Where the Light Leads, which will be released on May 14th everywhere books are sold! I cried big, happy, overjoyed tears reading these reviews. They express everything I hope readers think and feel in Emerson’s story.
Some highlights: “It’s Indiana Jones for young adults with much more magic and lore” “A mythic quest exploring grief, creativity, and what it means to step into one’s power” “Captivates from the first page to the last” “Every fantasy lover’s dream book” “Sleek and highly detailed” “I couldn’t put it down” “Unforgettable”
Longer reviews: “A mythic quest exploring grief, creativity, and what it means to step into one’s power. Avampato’s ability to weave themes of inner exploration, imagination, and loss into an epic adventure is second to none. From the hectic streets of Times Square to Dublin to worlds unknown, I’d follow Emerson Page (and Friday) wherever their light will take me! I wish I had this book when I was a teenager!” ~Torri Yates-Orr, Emmy-Nominated history and mythology communicator, writer, host, and creator of the “On This Day in History” series
“With a healthy dose of adventure, mystery, and magic, Emerson Page and Where the Light Leads captivates you from the first page to the last. Christa Avampato has built an immersive fantasy world featuring talking trees, superpowered teenage protagonists, faeries, and a host of other magical creatures. Imagine Indiana Jones for young adults with much more magic and lore, and you will end up with something like this. Keeping a brisk pace to the narrative, Avampato weaves an absorbing plot that keeps you hooked with unexpected reveals and twists and turns you never see coming. Emerson is a likable main character who finds it easy to make friends. She is someone you want to root for. I found the book very entertaining, and if you enjoy YA urban fantasy, this will be right up your alley.” ~Pikasho Deka, Pittsburg Post-Gazette, and NBC, ABC, and Fox affiliates
“Since Christa Avampato has incorporated the necessary details from the first book, I had no trouble picking up the threads. However, I advise readers to read the previous book first because everyone should enjoy this amazing series to the fullest. I loved how Avampato included lush descriptions of a cozy bookstore boasting giant tomes, a club brimming with memorabilia from daring adventures, a planetarium with a view into the infinite world of stars, and the Library of Imagination with all its grandeur. The visuals made me feel like I was there with Emerson, soaking up the moments. Although the story depends on the death of a parent and even portrays Emerson’s grief, it is nonetheless full of positivity. With talking and moving statues, hidden rooms inside ancient trees, and secret underground pathways, Avampato transports readers to an alternate reality. Featuring an unseen world teeming with folkloric beings, hard bargains, and strange rules, Emerson Page and Where the Light Leads is every fantasy lover’s dream book.” ~Shrabastee Chakraborty, The Chrysalis BREW Project
“Christa Avampato’s beautiful storytelling builds a magical world where human creativity has a tangible quality, and controlling it is the difference between life and death. The characters are crafted nicely with noticeable traits that the reader will easily connect with. Avampato impresses upon the reader the importance of developing an interest in adventure, honing leadership qualities, and appreciating what one can learn from books. Avampato’s storytelling is sleek and highly detailed, describing the magical creatures to such an extent that the reader will have no difficulty imagining what they look like. With its even pace and Avampato’s knack for dropping subtle clues in unusual parts of the plot, Emerson Page and Where The Light Leads is a balanced story that YA adventure fans will love.” ~Essien Asian, OnlineBookClub.org
“Emerson Page and Where the Light Leads has unique and creative lore that makes it unforgettable. Christa Avampato is a skilled writer who blends familiar mythology with imaginative elements to craft a compelling tale. Her descriptions are clear and detailed, painting vivid scenes that bring the story to life. The characters are interesting, with diverse personalities, backgrounds, and motives. What sets this book apart from other young adult adventures are the lesson-filled stories woven into the main plot and the thought-provoking riddles that serve as clues for Emerson’s quest. I could not put the book down because I did not want to miss anything crucial to Emerson’s journey.” ~Luwi Nyakansaila, Readers’ Favorite
“Emerson Page and Where the Light Leads is a captivating book that features intriguing characters and elements of Greek and Celtic mythology. The book is well-written, with a smooth flow and a unique plot. The lessons she learned along the way served their purpose in the final chapter. I highly recommend this book to all young adult adventure fans.” ~Doreen Chombu, Readers’ Favorite
Friends, I have been away from this blog for over two weeks because of grief.
Phineas crossed over in my arms at 3:30am on Sunday, January 28, 2024. I went to dinner on Saturday the 27th and Phin was sound asleep in his new bed when I left. He had a good day, visited with friends Marita and Anthony, ate well, went outside, and was even walking better than he had been. When I got home, Phinny was collapsed on the floor and unable to stand. I ran him to the ER at 11:30pm. The vet felt he may have had a seizure, that his kidney disease had taken a turn for the worse, or his back legs had completely given out as a side effect to the prednisone he’s been taking for his chronic pancreatitis.
He completely fell asleep in my arms at the ER and never stirred again, not even when we placed the euthanasia catheter. I held him for hours. He was telling me it was time. Once the shot was administered, he took 3 big breaths and then was gone. He was at peace, and the last thing he knew on this plane was my heartbeat and me holding him. The cry I let out was the loudest and most guttural I’ve ever made.
This is the last photo I took of Phin just before I left for dinner on what would be the last night of his life. I have a tremendous amount of guilt that I went out that night. If I’d known what would happen, I never would have gone to dinner. The other two are me holding him in the ER shortly before he crossed over.
Phineas, I love you more than life itself and my heart is shattered missing you. I have no idea how I’ll get through this grief and life without you. You’ll always be the greatest love of my life.
Thank you to everyone who has loved and cared for us through all of our 13 1/2 years together. We’re so grateful.
I am feeling my way through. This grief is the worst I’ve ever felt. I couldn’t sleep for 36 hours. I sobbed so much my eyes were purple and swollen. My friend, Ashley, who loved and adored Phinny came over with bagels, chocolate, a prayer candle, tissues, fruit salad, and her dog, Cricket, who was one of Phinny’s best friends.
The day after Phinny passed, Ashley told me the constellation Canis minor (“the smaller dog”) was rising in the sky with Orion and Canis major. It’s no coincidence that it looks like a celestial Phinny. I’m absolutely getting this tattoo in his honor. Canis minor and Canis major are Orion the Hunter’s dogs. In mythology, the gods placed Canis minor at the banks of the river of the Milky Way so the dog would never be thirsty. Fresh water forever for Phin!
Nursing my broken heart, I left my apartment after two days for the first time since Phinny’s passing. I went to dinner with my friend Vicki. I was dreading returning home and Phin not being there to greet me. This gorgeous vase of flowers was waiting for me from Chewy, the pet supply company. I contacted them to thank them for all of the great service they’ve provided to us and to cancel any autoships and reminders that were set up for Phinny’s account. Sarah, the team member I chatted with, was so lovely, kind, and compassionate. I never expected anything like this. Sarah and Chewy made one of the worst days of my life a little brighter.
Sarah and Chewy exemplify heart-centered leadership, and concern for customers. This is how you run a business. I already loved them. Now I’m a customer and fan for life. Other companies could learn a lot from them.
I went to dinner with my friend Tara at Grey Dog, one of my favorite New York City spots. I went into the restroom and there was this dachshund print by Stephen Huneck. When I looked over at it, I swear to you I heard Phin say, “Hi Mom!”
Print at Grey Dog
Tara bought me a set of pens & this lovely notebook with Phineas embossed on it. She got it so I could carry it with me and write down any thought about Phin that pops into my mind.
The little prince is home now. I picked up Phinny’s ashes at Blue Pearl. A triumvirate of strong, compassionate, loving women working at the hospital that night helped me make the impossible choice to release Phineas’s spirit from his riddled physical body and usher him into the next realm. I will never forget their kindness. This was the most humane and loving choice for him, and a pain-filled choice for me.
I made an ofrenda for him in my apartment. He guards the door, as he always did in life, surrounded by a portrait of him painted by Ashley with the prayer candle she brought over the day he passed, his paw prints, tuft of fur, his sweaters, collar, harness, and water bowl that I never washed after he passed, treats and a piece of his kibble, toys he loved, his hair brush with his hair still in it, dried flowers from his Chewy bouquet, and a photo he had taken at his doggie daycare.
Many years from now, when I pass and am completely reunited with Phin, our ashes will be mixed together, and we’ll become a tree. For now, I’ll find him in everything everywhere all at once. His spirit is always next to me. Whenever I want to be close to him, I go to his ofrenda and talk to him. I say good morning and good night to him every day.
Phin has been showing up all over my dreams already! He showed up in a dream of mine less than a week after he passed. He was in the living room, guarding the door, just as he always did in life. He was sitting close to his ofrenda. I think he likes that spot. I said, “Phinny!” and he turned around and looked at me over his shoulder. I was so sad because the dream was so short but my friend Amy explained that short clear dreams are visitations, and that made me feel better.
I had another dream that he sent me two new rescue dachshunds. It was mayhem in my dream with them running all over the place, and it was the happiest I’ve been since his passing.
In that strange state between being asleep and awake, I had a flash of me walking across a pink bridge with a red stripe down the middle that looked like Central Park’s bridges, which we loved going across many times over the years. Snow behind us, spring ahead. I was carrying Phinny and he was asleep the way he was in the ER 2 weeks ago. I got to the other end of the bridge. I gave him a kiss between his sleepy eyes and put him down. He became his young self again and took off running into the green grass. I watched him go and then turned around and walked back over the bridge.
Our friend Cara sent me this lovely postcard and I imagine Phin running free and flying high in a beautiful place like this. She also sent me this valentine because she knew today would be hard for me. Our friend Celia painted this beautiful image for Phin and our friend KaRyn sent us this beautiful card.
Josh donated to NYCACC, Tisa donated to Frosty Faces, and Tunde donated to World Central Kitchen – all in Phinny’s honor. So many of you have sent me messages in so many forms and checked in on me. Please know how grateful I am. You are all helping me tremendously with every single small gesture. Phinny was loved by so many, and having that reminder really helps.
Phin helped me through so much – PTSD, the pandemic, cancer, new jobs, new apartments, breakups, and also celebrated an immeasurable number of joys and dreams with me. The void he’s left in my life seems like it has no end. Rest assured I’m trying to put one foot in front of the other and doing everything possible to find some comfort and peace after this impossible decision. The grief is heavy and will take a long time to process. This is just part of love persevering.
Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you. I love that we have a holiday that celebrates love in all its wondrous forms – for all the people and animals in our lives present and past, our communities, this beautiful planet we share, the work we do, causes and organizations we care about, and ourselves. I hope today and every day you let love fill you up and fuel your journey forward.
This is a photo of me and my forever valentine – my sweetheart of a dog. It’s from 2016 so he’s about 7 here. Love you & miss you, buddy. It was taken by our dear and talented friend Rachael when we lived in D.C.
It’s been just over two weeks since I held my little guy and it’s felt like 2 years. My great hope is that he’s happy, healthy, and running free. I love you, buddy. I hope your day is filled with all the things you love.
Christa Avampato 