Month: January 2012

adventure, career, choices, future, work

Leap: Sometimes Your Future Chooses You

Christa Avampato
Photo by Soller

Next week is going to prove to be an interesting week around the office. There are rumors flying about changes in staff, strategy, and priorities. I’ve heard so many at this point that they’ve all cancelled one another out. Only one thing is for certain – the way it is now is not the way it will be going forward. But isn’t that always true? Change is part of life, every piece of it.

Not even a year into this work toward my new year’s resolution, and it may come to be bear without me doing much of anything. We don’t always get to choose what happens to us, but we always have the opportunity to choose what we do about it. Sometimes we leap on our own, and sometimes we’re pushed into taking the leap. We don’t always see the push coming, and many times there’s little we can do to stop it. The question is will be commit to this new trajectory being laid out for us or will we try to cling to the ledge of a cliff we don’t really want but feels familiar?

My answer in one word: Geronimo!

creativity, time, writing

Leap: Anne Lamott’s Advice on Writing, Life, and Time

Christa Avampato
Anne Lamott. Photo taken by James Hall.

“Time is not free—that’s why it’s so precious and worth fighting for…I’ve heard it said that every day you need half an hour of quiet time for yourself, or your Self, unless you’re incredibly busy and stressed, in which case you need an hour.” ~ Anne Lamott

My friend, Kristin, who pens the fantastic blog Writerhead recently featured this piece from Anne Lamott on her site. Lamott is my favorite author and her advice on writing has been a treasure trove for me since I was an undergraduate at Penn. My old copy of her book Bird by Bird is well-worn and more true every time I re-read it.

Since the start of 2012, I’ve received advice from others on the value of peace and quiet on an almost daily basis. I wrote about it on this blog here, here, and here. My friend, Derek, sent me a quote a long time ago that read, “The Universe is a very generous place. It will give you the same message over and over again until you learn it and don’t need to go through it any more.” Universe, I hear you.

Lamott recently offered her contribution to this ongoing societal dialogue about the value of quiet and unplugging from the world for a while. She writes so beautifully and poignantly that I won’t even attempt to recap her words. Read them here in her short essay Finding Time. Hint: we all have time to do something we love.

healthcare, meditation, teaching, yoga

Leap: ISHTA Yoga Will Be My 2012 Yoga Home

Christa Avampato

After months of deliberation, I finally chose to take the next step in my wellness career and pursue my next level of yoga teacher training. It’s been almost 2 years since I finished my 200-hour training at Sonic Yoga. I got an excellent base from Sonic and I treasure my teachers and friends from the program. After taking Cheri Clampett and Arturo Peal’s therapeutic yoga training at Integral Yoga last summer, I knew I needed my next level of teacher training to be deeply rooted in therapeutics. And so, I chose ISHTA Yoga‘s program.

Last week, yoga teacher Rodney Yee gave a speech at the San Francisco Yoga Journal Conference on yoga and healthcare. His message aligns with my feelings about who I am best equipped to serve in my teaching through Compass Yoga. It’s wonderful that 5% of Americans are practicing yoga, but what about the other 95% who would greatly benefit from it if there were more teachers willing to bring them into the fold? That is where the teaching opportunities of the future lie. The 95% are the students I am meant to serve and the ISHTA program is the best in New York City to help me fulfill that mission.

Many teacher training programs aren’t preparing teachers who can teach those who need special consideration. ISHTA is one of the great exceptions, and though I’ve spent a lot of my time since Sonic teaching and training to help introduce modified yoga and mediation to brand new practitioners, I know I need additional, intensive training to really up my skills. I’m so excited for this next leap with ISHTA!

ISHTA’s program dovetails with my teaching intentions perfectly. This beautiful storm of circumstances fell into place more seamlessly than I ever expected. I begin my first classes at ISHTA on January 31st. Along this next leg of the path, there will be many moments of insight, wonder, and discovery. I promise to share them all with you. Stay tuned! Namaste, baby!

animals, dogs, learning, meditation, teaching, yoga

Leap: My Dog as My Teacher and Healer

Christa Avampato

Buddhists believe that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

Native Americans believe that when a soul comes into our lives it is because it has something to teach us and when we lose someone close to us it is a signal we learned all we could from them.

I believe in both philosophies.

A year ago, my dog, Phineas, came into my life unexpectedly. He was found in the woods, abandoned by his owner and starving. He is perfectly trained in every way except one – he has horrible separation anxiety. He isn’t destructive in any physical way – he just cries a lot when I leave the apartment. He will go long stretches of time without making a peep when I leave, but then goes through terrible spurts of discomfort and stress.

On Saturday, I enlisted the help of a trainer through the company Barkbusters. Though pricier than other trainers, I chose them because they specialize in separation anxiety and they come with a lifetime guarantee. Yes, you read that correctly. A lifetime guarantee – they will return as often as I need them to for the remainder of Phineas’s life and help with any behavior challenge we may have wherever we may live. And my trainer is available at any time, day or night, by email or phone. A worthwhile investment. My only wish is that I had found them sooner, though finding them now, at this point in my own healing journey, brought home a very important realization that only now can I understand and appreciate.

I thought Phineas’s anxiety was from the fear that once I left I may never come back. And while that’s the base fear, here’s the nuance that our trainer taught me: Phineas isn’t worried for himself; he’s worried for me.

He’s on security detail and as such, he feels that he needs to protect me and keep me safe so that way I can continue to take care of him. When I go out into the big, scary world, he’s worried I will be harmed because he isn’t there to protect me. He has no way to control the situation and that lack of control mixed with fear is causing his anxiety. He’s taken on the job of being my body-guard and it’s not a role he is equipped for, nor a burden he should be responsible to bear. He hates this job, but he thinks it’s the only way he can assure that he won’t be abandoned again.

Isn’t that wild?!

Not really. I understand that feeling all too well. Dogs and children process information in such a similar way.

When I was a very young child, I was very aware that my father would never be able to take care of me. I knew that my mother was the only one in our household equipped to take care of me until I got big enough to take of myself. I worried constantly that something terrible would happen to my mother and that I’d be left with my father, which effectively meant I’d be on my own to take care of myself before I was ready.

It was a horrible burden to bear – I developed insomnia, headaches, and intense stress. I did my very best to compensate and cope, but as a young child there was no way for me to logically process my fears. I didn’t have the skills to do that. So I worked very hard in school because I linked doing well in school with getting a good job that would give me the income to provide for myself. I fought very hard to become as independent as possible as soon as I could. And while to the outside world I was a wonderfully adapted and well-adjusted child, I would argue that this adaptation and adjustment came at a very dear price. A price I still pay though am now able to articulate, understand, and repay as I heal. My yoga and meditation practices went a long toward than end. They still do.

Phineas and I are in the same boat – different cause, same effect. And if I can help him heal, really heal on a very deep level, then that will go a very long way toward healing my own inner child who still worries that she’ll be abandoned and still struggles to believe that I will always be able to take care of myself. Truly believing this last piece is the key to the confidence it takes to leap into entrepreneurship. Phineas was part of the Universe’s great plan for me and my work.

I thought by adopting Phineas that I was changing his life, and I certainly am doing just that. But he’s also changing mine, far more than he knows. As I watch him at this very moment sleeping peacefully in his bed, I’m even more determined to help him if for no other reason than to thank him for his soul’s incredible sacrifice for the sake of my soul’s healing.

Cesar Millan is famous for saying that he rehabilitates dogs and he trains people. This is certainly the case for me and for Phin. The calmer and more confident I can become through my own yoga and mediation practice, the more I can help him. And his healing will speed my healing. It’s a virtuous cycle that I am finally ready to begin.

calm, creativity

Leap: Grow Creativity and Decrease Anxiety Through Solitude in the Dark

Christa Avampato

“You cannot be lonely if you like the person you‘re alone with.“ ~ Wayne Dyer

On the heels of my post about the value of quiet time alone, I read two articles in the Times – one of the age of anxiety and one of the danger of the new groupthink a.k.a collaboration. Both articles, from different vantage points advocate for the same course of action – disconnecting from others in order to alleviate stress, free our creativity, and do our best work. Both articles recognize the importance of interaction – we are social creatures – though they favor the idea of casual interactions as a break from intense personal work as the sure way to breakthrough ideas that generate valuable contributions to humanity.

Though my weekdays are jammed with work, classes – as a teacher and student, events, and seeing friends, I have tried very hard to guard my weekends as mostly me time with a special exception here and there. (Well, me time with Phineas, if you must know.) It’s felt a bit selfish, and also incredibly wonderful. I often shut off my phone, turn on my music, and spend time in my cozy little uptown apartment in the sky doing exactly what I want to do, exactly when I want to do it. It’s liberating to not dash from here to there and back again.

Silence is proving to be golden – for my creativity, curiosity, happiness, and confidence. I have time to think, dream, plan, and wonder. There’s a magic in it. By the time Monday rolls around, I’ve literally forgotten any stresses from Friday.

In Sunday’s Times, I also read an article in the real estate section about the virtues of dark apartments, of which New York has many. Writers, artists, musicians, and entrepreneurs featured in the article talk about their dark homes as places where they can get away from it all whenever they feel the need for escape. The beauty of making a home a sanctuary is the ability to come and go from solitude on a whim, at any moment. Walk through the front door, and they’re in a place of peace and tranquility. Walk outside the front door, and interaction is available everywhere. It is the best of both worlds.

As the year of the Dragon, 2012 is ripe with opportunity. And I can’t help but think that the very best way for us to seize the day is to seize every chance we get for some peace and quiet wherever we call home.

business, entrepreneurship, time

Leap: Make Sure Time Is On Your Side

Christa Avampato

“Guard your own spare moments. They are like uncut diamonds.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson via ZenMoments

“Be ruthless with your time.” ~ Pam Slim

New projects take a tremendous amount of time to incubate, plan, and implement. To make the most of the opportunity, time alone creating and time collaborating with kindred spirits is critical. And in our often overly connected world we can feel guilty for being selfish with our time. We must put the guilt away if we intend to do something truly meaningful. Guard your time – it’s yours to spend as you see fit.

On Friday, I spoke to Poornima Vijayashanker, my friend and founder of Bizeebee. (Bizeebee is company that creates yoga studio management software.) She was one of the first employees at Mint and is a wise, generous person who’s been very supportive of Compass Yoga. On Thursday afternoon, a few of the board members and I had an interesting meeting with a potential partner that left all of our minds swirling. Poornima’s advice helped ground me and see what a gift this Thursday meeting was for our development. And then she gave me some personal advice: carve out Christa-time – entrepreneurs need it and so rarely take it.

Quiet time alone allows our minds to percolate as we develop interesting solutions to tough challenges. To tap our creativity and imaginations, we have to spend time on our own. “Being an entrepreneur is like being in a race by yourself,” Poornima said. “All that really matters is that you’re doing your own personal best every day.” It’s so easy, and harmful, to endlessly compare our business to others. There’s value in keeping our finger on the pulse of the market. It’s not valuable to be hopelessly consumed by what everyone else is doing.

To follow our path, we have to pay attention to our intuition, our heart. And the only way to do that is to know our path. And the only way to know our path is to sit and breathe, alone. We must guard our time like a precious jewel because it is.

art, creativity, dreams, success

Leap: Success Defined by Ricky Gervais, Bob Dylan, and Emily Dickinson

Christa Avampato
Ricky Gervais - Bob Dylan's definition of success

“A Man can consider himself a success if he wakes up in the morning, goes to bed at night, and in-between did exactly what he wanted.” ~ Bob Dylan

“Forever is composed of nows.” ~ Emily Dickinson

Why do we delay?

We wait for more money, more time, more experience, for permission from others. Maybe someday, we say, we will do what we really want to do. Somewhere Bob Dylan is shaking his head at this idea.

Ricky Gervais is hosting the Golden Globes tonight and in a recent interview he quoted Bob Dylan when someone asked him about his definition of success. Ricky Gervais is a man who always does what he wants to do, and by Dylan’s definition, he’s found success. I agree.

A lifetime is made of tiny snapshots, brief moments. Our forever is now in progress; it is always in progress. We have to be smart about our time. We plan and take a step forward, and then another and another. Incremental, intelligent, meaningful. And while sometimes slow and sometimes a mad dash, progress is always possible. Emily Dickinson was right – it all adds up.

Figure out your endgame and then back into what actions will make it possible, bit by bit.

dreams, faith, fate, nature, opportunity

Leap: My Conversation Along the Path with the Moon

Christa Avampato
Photo by Neil Leighton

“Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting — over and over announcing your place in the family of things.” ~ Mary Oliver via DailyGood

There is a world beyond what we can see, hear, and touch.

Every once in a while I get a glimpse of this world, usually in the deep recesses of the night, and it snaps me awake, not in a shake-me-out-of-bed sort of way, but in a very cosmic everything-is-going-to-be-okay sort of way. It happened last Tuesday in the wee hours of the morning. On Monday night I had a session with Brian that left my mind churning about exciting new possibilities as I commit to taking this leap in my career.

I thought I was dreaming as I heard a very gentle calling from an old woman to the effect of, “If you can put your trust in me, I promise you it will be okay. You will be okay.” My eyes gently opened upon hearing this and I found that the light of the moon shone very brightly through my window. I’d never seen it in that position outside my window, and it had never shown through that brightly. It felt like a spotlight on me. It looked full. I cocked my head to one side (similar to the stance Phineas takes when he hears an unexpected sound on our walks), realizing very clearly that the voice was coming from the moon. And it didn’t seem the least bit odd.

I climbed out of bed, walked over to the window, pulled back the curtain, and saw that without the curtain the moon was only half full. I put the curtain back in place and again it appeared full. I have no idea why and I didn’t question it in my sleepy state.

I crawled back into bed and gazed at the moon. “So all I have to do is trust? Trust that leaping is the right thing to do?” I asked. And she glowed back a nod and a gentle “yes.” That was it. I rolled over and went back to sleep.

A few hours later, I woke to my alarm, bundled up, and then bundled up Phin. He led the way to Riverside Park without hesitation, and I gladly took his lead as I turned over in my mind my encounter with the moon. Did that really happen, or was I dreaming? In the rising daylight, I reasoned that of course I had been dreaming.

And then Phineas stopped. Just stopped right by a tree and sat down, facing west. I stood in place next to him and looked out over the chilly Hudson to see a low orange moon, full now (for real), setting on the western horizon as the sun was making its way up in the East. She didn’t say anything this time. She just sat there and looked at me as Phineas and I looked back, all resolute in the fact that yes, of course it would all be okay. It has to be because we’re on the path we’re meant for, and when our actions fall in line with our destiny the world oddly, beautifully,  inexplicably cooperates.

Doors open by the light of the moon, and all we need to do is walk through them.

dreams, goals, healthcare, yoga

Leap: Our Goals Should Be Impossible

Christa Avampato

“To make your goals effective, you have to fail at them 50% of the time, or they didn’t stretch you far enough.” ~ Chip Wilson, Founder of Lululemon Athletica

Some people think my goal of wanting to dramatically improve the entire healthcare system in the United States through Compass Yoga is just crazy.

Sometimes they look at me with very sympathetic eyes as if to say, “Well isn’t that ambitious.” And then other times they raise their eyebrows in a surprised expression of, “Who does this woman think she is?” My answers are, “Yes, I am ambitious” and “I am someone who cares.”

One of the great blessings and curses of reading so much and spending so much of my time engaged with others is that the problems of the world are my problems. It doesn’t matter if today the problems of the world affect me directly. I know so clearly that eventually they will be my problem – the crummy economy, climate change, soaring healthcare costs, a failing education system. These will be everyone’s problems. We are too interconnected now to turn a blind eye. We cannot live in castles in the sky while their foundations are crumbling here on Earth.

It takes crazy people to bring monumental change. It takes people who take risks, who try and try again undeterred, who reject the idea of business as usual. Business can’t be usual any more. We have too many challenges that need creative solutions. And that goes for politics, education, the environment, international relations, energy policies, and yes, healthcare. What has been is not what can be going forward. We need more passion and more enthusiasm to find better answers.

So do I think impossible goals are worthwhile? You bet I do and I’ll chase my impossible dreams down with every bit of speed I can build. There’s just no way of knowing what’s possible until we give it everything we’ve got. As Nelson Mandela wisely said, “It always seems impossible until it’s done.” Go further.

art, career, movie, New York City, work

Leap: Finding Meaning in Experiences That Are Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

Christa Avampato
Thomas Horn and Tom Hanks in the film Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

“And if that’s all you learned from 9/11, if that’s all you remembered, that: My God, you could extinguish life so suddenly, so unexpectedly, and it could happen to me, and therefore I should think harder about the way I spend my life instead of just wasting it. Now, it’s not going to teach you what to do with your life, but it will teach you to do with your life, and to do it more and quicker and better. And that can be extremely valuable.” ~ Mario Cuomo

Mario Cuomo made this statement in the PBS documentary about the history of New York City. It rang powerfully in my ears when I recently went to see the movie Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close. The movie centers on a family that is forever changed by the events of 9/11. And before you go thinking, “Oh great, another 9/11 movie” like I did, watch the trailer. The performances are mesmerizing. You will want to look away and you won’t be able to. You’ll want to go back home to your life as usual, and you won’t be able to shake the feeling that you need to live the life you want. Today and every day after.

I recently had drinks with a friend of mine who recently got a new job. I asked her how it was going and she replied, “It’s called ‘work’ for a reason.” That gave me pause and then made me feel very, very sad. Was I asking too much of my career? Could a job ever be something we jump out of bed for or was that the stuff of Hollywood and daydreams? This thought nagged at me. Was I a fool to believe in a better way to work? This question refused to go away for days, and then I saw Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, and then I had my answer. I stopped feeling sad for myself. Instead, I felt sad for my friend.

Work has to be more than work as we know it. Mario Cuomo is so damn brilliant and wise – YES, we have to do with our life. Anything less than that is just a waste. It must be meaningful, and not just in bits and pieces and once-in-a-whiles, but always. Every, single, day.

And this is just more fuel for the fire in my belly to work on Compass Yoga full-time. Here’s to people who want to jump up out of bed thankful for one more day, sink their teeth into life, and refuse to accept anything less. You are the rainmakers that this world needs and wants!