death, dying, Life

Beginning: Beauty and Funerals

Christa Avampato

“Beauty once seemed to me to be an accident of nature. But now that I can see my life on my face, I realize we earn the way we end up looking. Time, it seems, gives us all a chance to really be beautiful.” ~ Ann Curry

“Nature gives you the face you have at twenty. Life shapes the face you have at thirty. But at fifty you get the face you deserve.” ~ Coco Chanel

My Uncle John passed away last week. A kind, generous man, we was one of the people who figured prominently into many of my childhood memories. He was one of those people whom I always felt so lucky to know and love. He lived into his 90’s despite an abundance of health problems for many years. He was a miracle man, a real-life version of the comeback kid.

His funeral served as yet another reminder to me that everything that surrounds us is temporary, that this is all changeable. It reminded me of what Brian and I talked about last week – that a life just spent out on the ledge isn’t really living at all. You need to have the existence you want, and no one can define that for you except you. People will try – they will tell you where and when to go, who to go with, and what you should do when you get there. During Uncle John’s services I couldn’t help but think about the idea that in the end our legacies are about the choices we make, and the ripple effects we cause in the wake of those choices.

There was a poster board of photos at John’s wake. Some of them I’d never seen and some of them I hadn’t seen in many years. I was a tiny baby in the ones I was in. My grandparents were there, as was my dad, looking many years younger than I remember them and with wide, wide smiles. I loved seeing those images and yet it was hard for me to see them, too. Particularly with my dad, I was reminded of all the lost potential, the lost opportunity that he could have had, that my whole family could have had, and in particular that I could have had if only he had gotten the right help at the right time.

I think losing people like my Uncle John is easier than losing people like my dad. John lived a full, loving life. He was grateful for his days and was able to overcome extraordinary hardships. (I found out at his funeral that he had served in the U.S. Army’s First Armored Division during World War II, the first Americans in WWII to go into armed battle.) My dad, by nature, was not grateful and there wasn’t anyone in his life who asked him to be more accountable and responsible for the life we lived. In his eyes, life happened to him. In my Uncle John’s eyes, life happened and no matter what, he chose to love life again and again. My Uncle John took full advantage of all opportunities at his doorstep, and lived a wonderful, long life as a result. My dad did not.

So we have a choice – not necessarily of when it’s our time to move on from this lifetime, but certainly how we spend each of our days in this lifetime. We can choose what we stand for, how we spend our time, and with whom. We either choose to make and take opportunities, or just react to life as it happens. Given the very stark contrast of the lives and passings of my Uncle John and my dad, I know which way I’m going. Do you?

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Published by Christa Avampato

IN BRIEF Author, journalist, digital product manager, and licensed New York City tour guide. Creator and host of NYC's Secrets and Lies. Alumna of the University of Pennsylvania (BA), the Darden School of Business at the University of Virginia (MBA), Arizona State University (Biomimicry), and the University of Cambridge (MSt in Sustainability Leadership). I build digital media platforms, report on urban climate resilience and biodiversity, and produce live narrative experiences that connect communities to history, nature, and place. THE DEEP DIVE My work centers on a single thread: building systems and stories that foster deep connection to our shared world. Across digital streaming, environmental reporting, and live civic storytelling, I design experiences that help people understand complex ideas and the environments around them. DIGITAL PRODUCT STRATEGY & MEDIA LEADERSHIP At Carnegie Hall, I serve as Digital Product Manager, leading product strategy, operations, and technical delivery for the video streaming platform Carnegie Hall+. I translate artistic mission into scalable, high-performance streaming architecture that reaches audiences globally. Previously, I led agile product and delivery teams across operations and compliance at American Express, managed Broadway theatrical productions and national tours, and guided strategic initiatives across cultural institutions. ENVIRONMENTAL JOURNALISM & AUTHORSHIP As a freelance journalist, I investigate how living systems, urban infrastructure, and human culture intersect. My reported features on urban decarbonization, biodiversity, coastal resilience, and biomimicry appear in publications including Smithsonian Magazine, The Washington Post, Mongabay, Natural History Magazine, and Foreign Policy Magazine. In fiction, I write the Emerson Page young adult novel series, alongside upcoming historical fiction and nonfiction works on New York history, mythology, and human resilience. I also write Togetherhood, a LinkedIn newsletter focused on urban ecology and community restoration, and co-host the podcast Frameworks in the Wild. LIVE EXPERIENCE & CIVIC STORYTELLING As a licensed New York City tour guide and live event producer, I transform urban landscapes into shared narrative encounters. I created, produce, and host NYC's Secrets and Lies, an interactive live storytelling series staged across cultural landmarks including the New York Transit Museum, the South Street Seaport Museum, and the historic tall ship Wavertree. I also design and lead site-specific walking tours exploring coastal ecology, food history, and neighborhood evolution, often with partners at Climate Week NYC and the Natural Areas Conservancy. DOUBLE OR NOTHING MEDIA Through my independent production studio, Double or Nothing Media, I develop ventures across media, ecology, and public history: Digital Products & Strategy: Architecting scalable digital platforms, streaming experiences, and operational models for mission-driven institutions. Environmental Reporting & Publications: Delivering long-form reporting, books, and newsletters grounded in climate resilience and regenerative design. Site-Specific Live Storytelling: Producing immersive live shows and educational walking tours that engage public audiences in community history. CONNECT Website & Production Hub: doubleornothingmedia.com and christaavampato.com Newsletter: Togetherhood on LinkedIn - linkedin.com/newsletters/togetherhood-7273771832221089792/ Instagram & Threads: @christarosenyc Emerson Page Novels: emersonpagebook.wordpress.com/

4 thoughts on “Beginning: Beauty and Funerals”

  1. There’s a phrase I remember Pema Chodron saying in one of the audios she’s done, don’t know if it’s hers or a paraphrase of a Buddhist teaching:

    Since death is certain, and the hour of death is uncertain, what is the most important thing?

    I think in addition to making and taking opportunities (sometimes leaps!), trying to get better at the pause – to be able to choose how to respond to something, rather than just react unthinkingly – can help us spend our days in accordance with our intent and our best selves. It is not easy though. 🙂

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I'd love to know what you think of this post! Please leave a reply and I'll get back to you in a jiffy! ~ CRA

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