Month: July 2011

career, dreams, work

Beginning: Leaving My Assistant Hat Behind

Christa Avampato

I had two very vivid dreams while on vacation in Florida. They were so powerful that I truly feel like they were not just merely dreams, but messages. Being away from my home base opened up my mind to new possibilities and ideas. Not surprisingly, both of these dreams had to do with finding my life’s work. One was an affirmation of what I’ve known for some time but didn’t know how to articulate and the other had to do with options as I move forward. I’ll tell you about the first one today and the second one tomorrow.

My chance with The New York Times
I was interviewing to be the assistant to the Executive Editor of The New York Times, an institution that I treasure. For some reason, I decided to stop off and run an errand before going to the interview. My interview was at 5:30 and I looked down at my watch while finishing my errand and it read 5:36. I ended up getting to the interview at 5:50 and Bill Keller (the former editor who just stepped down last month) was waiting for me. He told me he was very disappointed in my tardiness though with some work I could probably make a good assistant. At first, I was horrified at being late (those of you who know me personally know of my great love for punctuality), and then I was horrified by the word “assistant”. I got up from the table, told Mr. Keller I wasn’t interested in being anyone’s assistant, and walked out of the building. It felt amazing.

No longer assistant material
This dream has real significance for a few reasons. If there is any institution that resonates with me for its history and commitment to excellence, it’s The New York Times and I am a huge fan of Bill Keller’s (despite his skepticism about social media). If I was disgusted by the thought of being his assistant, then I can’t really imagine signing up to be anyone’s assistant. I’m grateful for the time I spent as an assistant; I learned so much. And now those days are behind me. For everything, there is a season.

Love the work, love the result
This dream also made me realize that for my work to be truly satisfying, I have to love the work itself as much as the result of that work. I would never be an assistant at The New York Times because that is the kind of job that requires the commitment of someone’s entire life. I used to be a person who could do that; I certainly did that to work in professional theater and I ultimately left to get a life. Now, I guard my personal time as a prized possession. The only mission I’m professionally committed to now is my own with Compass Yoga. I love the work and results of yoga and its teaching.

Times change, and our priorities change right along with them. Now I’m meant to work for me.

1, career, change

Beginning: Be Part of Your Own Demise

Christa Avampato

Yesterday I wrote about tearing down systems we don’t like in favor of building systems we’re proud to be a part of. That lesson hit home in a big way while I was on vacation.

Change is Unavoidable
I spend my weekdays at a company that needs transformative change. It’s a lot to ask – the company has been around for over a century and is in the financial services space. There are a lot of very well-intentioned people there who are extremely intelligent and talented. The trouble is that those people either A) don’t want to rock the boat or B) have a hard time cutting through the bureaucracy of a siloed, hierarchical organization. The even larger trouble is that movers and shakers are not rewarded at this company; at best, they’re given titles that have words like “special projects” in them and at worst, they’re made so frustrated by the system that they leave for greener, or at least flatter, pastures.

Day Job Status
I think I’m in group B and I might be in the frustrated camp, too. (Yes, yogis get frustrated, too, and I think it’s a healthy emotion that should be aired in order to get through it. Some at my company disagree.) As I was out walking Phin yesterday, I started to think about all of the companies that I interact with regularly and greatly admire – Google, Apple, Netflix, Disney / Pixar, Amazon, media outlets that were founded as network television and newspapers. I realized all of them had a glaring commonality: their new lines of business were in great opposition to their existing lines of business. Courageous individuals within these companies saw the future of their industries, wanted to play a key role in that future, and so they championed new ideas, even if those ideas seemed contradictory to the ideas these companies were founded upon.

Frustration Takes a Holiday
With that insight, my frustration with my day job melted. I realized that I just won’t be there that much longer unless some hefty cultural changes quickly make their way through the chain. As Brian always tells me, “Christa, you don’t get to decide when you’re done. One day you wake up and you have to make a change in that instant.”

Can You Change Fast Enough?
Change is a constant hum under all of our daily activities. There’s no escaping it, personally or professionally. The best we can do is be out ahead of it and be able to roll with it once it arrives. There are companies that do that; there are individuals who do that. It’s not easy work, but they are the ones who survive and thrive in the long-run. While I work for someone else as Compass Yoga gets off the ground, I’d like to be with a company that understands that our demise is imminent. It’s just a question of whether that demise happens to us, or with us.

commitment, courage, creative process, creativity

Beginning: If You Don’t Like a System, Tear It Down and Start Over

Christa Avampato

“For if you suffer your people to be ill-educated, and their manners to be corrupted from their infancy, and then punish them for those crimes to which their first education disposed them, what else is to be concluded from this, but that you first make thieves and then punish them.” ~ Sir Thomas More, Utopia, Book 1; English author, courtier, humanist, & saint (1478 – 1535)

My friend, Moya, sent me this quote after reading my last few posts about empowerment and forging our own paths forward. In light of those posts, she thought I’d love the quote above (and I do!) She went on to say, “To me, it’s not about crime but a more general life lesson. If you create a system that encourages a certain outcome, then expect that certain outcome to occur. [If you don’t like a system], tear it down and create a new one – emotionally speaking.” Truer words have never been said.

Helping returning veterans, their families, and caregivers
There are a number of systems that I want to tear up. One of them is the way that we treat, or rather don’t treat, returning veterans. 1/3 of them never receive any kind of care at all, while an additional 1/3 receive inadequate care. Families and caregivers of returning veterans have an even lower rate of care. I’m focusing Compass Yoga‘s efforts on returning vets, their families, and caregivers because of the tremendous need and because I personally understand how PTSD effects an individual and an entire family. I’m not out to help a handful of vets; I’m in this to build an entire system of wellness across the globe for them and the people who love them that provides preventative care and treatment after they return from service.

Traditional yoga studios
Another system that really irks me is the traditional yoga studio model. I’ve written about this pet peeve of mine before, and it’s such a big problem that it’s worthy of repeating. Yoga studio expenses are high and fixed, while the revenue is entirely variable from day-to-day. To compensate for a broken economic model, many studios have started teacher training programs that cost an average of $2500 – $3000. This is the bread and butter of their business. Would-be teachers trustingly hand over that money without full comprehension of how difficult it is to teach yoga as a full-time job, particularly in a city as expensive as New York. The yoga studios know this of course, but most (not all) don’t pass on the information honestly because they don’t want to scare away people from signing up for teacher training. It’s a sick cycle.

In part, this system led me to go in an entirely different direction with Compass Yoga, focusing on its therapeutic application in mental health and incorporating medical research. It also led me to explore nonprofit incorporation and to pursue several other avenues that I’m still doggedly working on. I’m not out to just build a nice little sustainable organization. I’m in this to build out a new business model for delivering wellness for the whole person. This wasn’t the only path I could have taken, though it is the right one for me.

Some things need tearing down
Moya’s thoughts on Sir Thomas More are right on target. If we allow a system to persist, or worse yet – knowingly participate in a busted system, then we are to blame for the disappointing results. System building is difficult work, though the alternative of working in a crummy system with equally crummy results is much harder to live with. Destruction is often the first step in the creative process. Tear down what gives you pain, and start fresh.

opportunity, passion, patience, yoga

Beginning: Progress Requires Patience

Christa Avampato

“The most amazing thing about biz dev work: the more you do, the more you realize that opportunity is under every stone. Turn ’em over!” ~ ME

For the past two weeks I have been sending an insane amount of emails and making an equally insane amount of phone class related to Compass Yoga. I’m getting down all of the steps in the hopes that some day I will have the time to reflect back on all of this work and on all of the amazing, talented, incredible people who helped me through their own kindness, talents, and generosity.

Business development work is what I’ve been trained to do. By nature, I’m relentless, and this natural tendency and endurance was only further bolstered by my undergraduate and graduate school education. Once I really believe in an idea and have dedicated myself to it, I will work and work and work until I make progress. I’ll experiment, take a new approach, or try something completely off-the-wall if I think it will make a difference.

Business development is a long-term bet
I’m making progress. On June 19th I’ll be giving a presentation on the benefits of yoga for veterans, at Jehrico Project, an organization that serves homeless veterans in New York City, and I’ve started the long paperwork process to teach yoga at the Manhattan VA Hospital for the medical staff. These are two developments that I’m incredibly grateful for, and I think it’s important to share that I didn’t just waltz in and have these wonderful opportunities handed to me. Of the hundreds of contacts I’ve tried to make, most were never returned, a few kindly declined my offer, and these two took some convincing – first by me and then by people at these organizations who believed in the power of this work.

When you don’t know what to do, keep going
I’m sharing this truth because there’s an important lesson in this for you and me. You might be working on a project at this very moment and you may feel like all of your efforts are yielding a blessed thing. You might feel like you’re beating your head against the wall, wringing your hands, and wasting your time. The truth is that you are laying a foundation, and foundation building takes a lot of effort. We want to jump to the decorating, “the fun stuff”, of a project as soon as possible, but trust me, that won’t work. You have to make sure your base is solid and build from that. It’s slow in the beginning but if you training properly and do the appropriate groundwork, you’ll be so much better off in the long run. Cultivate patience as you pursue progress.

choices, courage, design, determination, dreams

Beginning: Be an Invisionary

Christa Avampato

“Vision is the art of seeing the invisible.” ~ Jonathan Swift

“My favorite place is my imagination.” ~ ME

Every once in a while, I get a real fire under me. I’m not sure where it comes from, though it’s almost always linked to something I read like this quote by Jonathan Swift. And when this fire gets going, I feel the need to crack open my laptop and get this all down because I’m certain that the words I’m about to think are the words that someone somewhere needs to hear, right now at this very moment.

It’s easy to see what is right in front of us. What’s more difficult, though ultimately more rewarding, is to imagine what could be and bring it into being. There’s much talk in the business world about leaders of companies who are “visionaries”, and in business that has largely meant people who see the current situation with a slight twist that vastly improves value. Minimal work for a lot of pay off. There’s nothing wrong with that at all – masters of the 80 / 20 rule, they have been able to steer the companies they run through our economic storms of late.

Though I appreciate the work of visionaries, the people who really inspire me, who really impress me and motivate me, are invisionaries – people who see a whole new way of being to improve their own lot and that of others. They see things that have never even been thought of, much less acted upon. They attack challenges that most people run from. They look at big problems in the world and rather than turning a blind eye, stand firmly rooted into the ground and say, “I can make this better.” They are people of action, people who don’t hesitate. They don’t need all the answers, they just need the next step. They’ll gladly pave the road as they travel it. In actuality, they prefer it that way.

This is who I’m trying to be with the mission of Compass Yoga – an invisionary – and it’s what I want for all of you, too. I don’t want us to be limited by what’s here in front of us. I want us to tear down the walls we see in our lives. Climb over them, plow through them, dig your way underneath if you have to. Need a boost? Let me know, and I’ll gladly offer it up. Just get out there, and live the life you really want.

I know this work isn’t easy. I’m asking a lot of myself, and I’m asking a lot of you, too. And here’s why – there a lot of people who are going to tell you, “You must do X because long ago you decided to do Y.” These people will tell you that no matter what you want to do, you just can’t. Maybe these people are your family, your friends, your neighbors, your co-workers, or your boss. I want you to thank them for their opinions and then turn the volume on them off. I’m here to be the voice that tells you to roll the dice; the only thing you have to lose is regret for not living the life you want.

It’s tough to get people to see the world through your mind’s eye; don’t blame them. Many people are not invisionaries, and have no desire to be. They will plod along and be just fine. The people who do something really extraordinary with their lives, who make a difference, are the ones who are in this game every day courageously weaving the fabric of their own lives and the lives of those they want to help. Hold that as your ideal, your model.

Don’t take no for an answer. Open every window, swing open every door, and when all else fails get out your chisel and hammer and make your own way out of the box and into the light. If we can live like this, then we can live lives by our own designs. And what could be more gratifying than that?!

discovery, dreams, story, teaching, writing, yoga

Beginning: Thinking Your Dreams Into Being

Christa Avampato

“You are what you think.” ~ Dr. Lu

I saw this image yesterday when I went searching for information on the image I posted yesterday about how to live your life by your own design. This poem by Frank Outlaw reminded me of this quote from Dr. Lu, a doctor of Traditional Chinese Medicine. Who we become begins with our thoughts on our purpose. You can think the life you want into being. Frank Outlaw just handed us a map of 31 words.

As a writer, the second step of the journey – turning thoughts into words – is where I spend a considerable amount of time. Our words are the first pathways to our personal transformation. As a yoga teacher and yoga therapist, I help students find their own words by working through their own barriers in the body. Our past challenges, mental and physical, store physically in different parts of the body. Through yoga, we can remove the blocks in our bodies that then allow us to articulate our stories.

Once we can articulate our stories, we begin to heal and we become the rulers of our thoughts rather than our thoughts ruling us. It’s this combination of writing and yoga that is so powerful for me as a student and as a teacher. This is where it all comes together. I’m not here to impart any wisdom; I’m here to guide others to their own wisdom that they already have within them.

Uncategorized

Beginning: Live By Your Own Design

Christa Avampato

My friend, Amanda, posted this up on her Facebook page and I love it so much that I wanted to share it as today’s post. It gets at all of my beliefs about passion, finding our life’s work, love, travel, and the passing of time.

This week on vacation, I’m spending loads of time with my nieces, Lorelei and Aubree. I try to visit them every 3 to 4 months. At 3 years old and 1 year old, I am conscious of how different they are every time I see them. People always say kids grow up so fast, though I never knew how fast until these two little ones came along. They are two more reminders of just how important it is to live the lives we want, by our own design and on our own terms. Life is just too fleeting to do anything else.

Too many people I meet are content to be just where they are, even if it’s nowhere they’d like to be. I used to envy how content they could be as I would drive myself close to the brink with my striving. Now that I see all of the benefits I’m creating in my own life, thanks in large part to my striving for so many years, I’m so grateful that I can only settle for what I really want rather than settling for what just seems readily available.

Many years ago I had a conversation with my friend, Amy, about our dreams to build our own roads, not just take the well-traveled ones. We agreed that it was as much fun to carve our own paths with our own hands as it was to get to the destinations we wanted to reach.

It’s in the doing that we really learn who we are and just who we’re meant to be.

free, government, gratitude, thankful

Beginning: Find Your Ideal to Honor the Legacy of Your Freedom

Christa Avampato

Photo credit: Alison Grippo
“Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labor in freedom.” ~ Albert Einstein

Holidays like July 4th are a good time for reflection. On your way to the beach, the barbecue, and the fireworks today, it’s well worth a moment of our time to think about why we even have this holiday: a group of people got together and decided that they needed to live free or die trying. It’s a powerful ideal, and not one that should in any way dampen out spirits but rather buoy them up.

Today my mind, heart, and gratitude are with the many people who are overseas making so many sacrifices on our behalf so that we may live free. In their honor, I’m spending some time today to consider what one principle I would stake my life on. What ideal makes me feel so alive that I’d be willing to lay down my life for it? Once we can answer that question, then so much of our life comes in to focus. We know where to spend our time and energy. We know which kinds of people to surround ourselves with. Our legacy becomes clear.

On the 4th of July I’m thankful that my freedom was so important to so many people whom I will never have the pleasure to meet. Making the most of my freedom is the best way to honor them. Our lives are their legacy. Happy 4th!

change, childhood, choices, commitment, goals

Beginning: Striving By Settling for Change

Christa Avampato

<a “Something has always come along to shake things up just when I am feeling settled. Maybe this is the fate of a striver, someone always trying to be ‘twice as good’.” ~ Condoleezza Rice

A few months ago I read the book Extraordinary, Ordinary People by Condoleezza Rice. It tells her own personal story prior to her very public life by paying tribute to her parents. Despite the fact that I was confused by nearly every foreign policy call she made while servicing in President Bush’s administration, I was enormously impressed by her personal story and the candor with which she told it. She’s also an incredibly likeable person.

Shake it up, baby
Of all the sound bites in the book, this one about the life of a striver has stuck with me. I regularly go through this same roller coaster. Just when I think I’m settled and I’ve got it all figured out, my reality gets turned on its head. This has happened to me enough times that I have learned to just roll with changes, big and small. And while this constant change may appear unsettling on the surface in actuality it’s made me so grateful. Because I know that everything will change, I appreciate each moment, good or bad, more fully. I’m reminded of my mother’s mantra, “This too shall pass.” Everything passes.

On disappointment
Another happy side effect of the acceptance of change is that disappointment has less of a sting. My friend, Sara, recently asked me how I manage to work on so many projects at once. For better or worse, I was raised to be productive. My father’s one ask of us is that we never do anything to embarrass him; ironic given all the times he embarrassed us. Still, that stuck with me and to me meant that if I attempted to do anything it had better be done well. It was made very clear to us that we are here on borrowed time and that we were expected to make a contribution to humanity.

My father’s life was tragically cut short at age 61 with most of his life’s work left unfinished. The lesson of how fleeting life is sticks with me; I think about it every day. The most enlightened point-of-view of this lesson is that I have very little time to feel badly about disappointment. I have to pick myself up, dust myself off, and start all over again. In many ways, to keep going is the only way I know to deal with disappointment.

A belief in karma
I’m a walking contradiction, and truth be told I like it that way. A big believer in free will, I’m also just as passionate about the concept of destiny, karma, and a predetermined path. One of my favorite quotes came from Steve Jobs when he told a group of graduates that life could only be understood in reverse because it’s only in reverse that all of the seemingly disparate pieces of our lives fit together. As I work on the direction of Compass Yoga, I realize why I need all of my life experiences, good and bad, big and small.

Welcome, Change!
In an effort to make all of these experiences worthwhile, to make them mean something in the grand scheme of life, I’m glad to put myself in the camp of strivers. In the end I want to be able to look back on my long life and realize that it was twice as good as I ever thought it would be. This is a tall order given that I have very high expectations. And if change is the linchpin that makes that dream possible, then I welcome it with open arms and often.

health, healthcare, meditation, science, self-help, yoga

Beginning: The Road Back to Balance is Paved by the Breath

Christa Avampato

“The path from imbalance back to balance is a labyrinth.” ~ Dr. Bhaswati Bhattacharya

I arrived in Florida yesterday after a too-long flight and after too many months without a vacation. I didn’t realize just how tired I was until I was on the bus to the airport. I felt out of balance; the past few months have been emotional and my schedule has been packed to the gills. It’s time to decompress and release.

The long and winding road
The labyrinth back to balance that Dr. Bhaswati speaks about hit me full force once we were airborne. My thoughts were jumbled, and I could feel my body racing despite the fact that I was sitting down. Since my therapeutic yoga teacher training, I’ve been very aware of the effects of the stress response, aka fight or flight, on my body. Stress triggers a number of changes in the body that we can actually feel if we tune into them: our muscles tense, our blood pressure rises, and our digestive system slows down.

In the last few months when I feel these changes kicking in, I stop and breathe as deeply as possible into my belly. It’s been a conscious, constant effort, though entirely worth it. I feel more in tune with the changes my body makes involuntarily in response to stress and I voluntarily make changes to counteract these responses. It is give and take, a long and winding labyrinth.

Stress doesn’t discriminate
We can’t control the initial reactions of our bodies to stress. Much of it is regulated by our sympathetic (involuntary) nervous system and there is a good reason for that. The fight or flight response is meant to keep us safe; however, it’s not meant to be turned on all the time as happens with today’s society of constant stress and so with constant stress we run into big trouble. Our body has only one set of responses to stress – whether our stress is caused by a deadline at work, a traffic jam, or a tiger who’s on our tail. What I’m learning through yoga and meditation is that we have the ability to talk our bodies down off the ledge. We can tell ourselves, “Look, I know you’re freaking out right now, but it really is going to be okay. Just breathe.” That breath – deep into the belly, even inhales and exhales – is our guide, our guru. It takes us up and away from where we feel trapped and scared into a space that feels open and safe.

All I really have to do is breathe?
It sounds so simple, and it really is. When everything else falls away, our breath is always with us. So get some bright-colored paper, grab a sharpy, and write out the simple word “BREATHE” in big, bold letters. Post it around your home, your office, in your wallet, and in your car. Type it up as a to-do in your calendar on your phone and set a reminder every hour or two. Breathe, and find your way back to balance. Let me know how it goes.