Month: July 2011

dogs, generosity, gifts, kindness, New York City

Beginning: A Downpour, the Kindness of NY Strangers, and a Community of Dachshunds

Christa Avampato

A photo I snapped of Friday's storm before a stranger rescued us with his umbrella
Phineas and I got caught in the downpour on Friday night. I had gone to pick him up from his first time at daycare and the raging storm took us by surprise as we made our way home. We were both crouched underneath an awning outside Cafe Frida, my favorite Mexican restaurant in our neighborhood. Phineas hates the rain, as most dachshunds do.

Just inside the restaurant a couple watched us through the window, looking on us with a great deal of pity. The man got up from the table and opened the door.

“We have two little dachshunds at home and we know how much they hate the rain. Take our umbrella so you can get your little guy home,” he said.

“But I can’t take your umbrella. How will I get it back to you?” I asked him.

“You don’t have to. We’re going to stay here until the rain stops and we’ve got plenty of umbrellas at home. Really – take it,” he said.

I thanked him profusely and Phineas in his tired / scared state gave him a smooch. Away we went. People often think of New Yorkers as pushy, arrogant, and self-centered. And maybe we are or can be from time to time. Though I must say that after 12 years of living in this city on and off, I’ve had more kind, generous, and selfless interactions right here in New York than I have anywhere else in the world. This was one of those times.

The wind whipped us around a bit on the way home and the umbrella didn’t keep us completely dry but it did a good enough job to get home before the next batch of really heavy rain started pelting down. The umbrella partially busted along the way, but I just didn’t have the heart to toss it in the trash can at the corner of our block. I’m going to hang on to it for a bit as a reminder of just how much good there is flowing through the streets of New York, at least if you have a dachshund in hand.

blog, books, news, writing

Beginning: My New Blog Reads

Christa Avampato

I’ve been on the hunt for some new blogs to add to my regular reading. Here are a few of my recent favorite finds.

The Found Gen is “an independent publishing house and story/scripting group that focuses on providing the world with original stories and works from authors who represent the best of what the written word has to offer.” It focuses on bringing great new fiction writing to the attention of the world through the Lost & Found Quarterly. The Found Gen also focuses on reminding us of great fiction writers whom time has forgotten and is filled with valuable information for writers, particularly those interested on self-publishing. Get in on the story and check them out.

The Daily Reader is a Macmillan project piloted by my friend, Amanda Hirsch. The goal of the blog is simple: “to help us discover great reads while connecting the dots between books and current events.” As someone obsessed with the news (I’m one of those people whom they worry about getting current events fatigue when a major news event is underway), this is the perfect blog for me to read right after I finish watching the morning news and have read my daily dose of e-newsletters, alerts, and an online scan of 3-5 newspapers.

I first heard about Ollin Morales of Courage 2 Create on Problogger. His blog offers writing advice as he carves his path to the completion of his first novel. What I found so intriguing about Ollin was his optimism. The old paradigm of brooding writers who are a little bitter with a healthy dose of the dark side doesn’t fit Ollin at all. He started his blog about writing to chronicle is progress and learn about the process and commitment of putting word to page. I love how open and honest he is, sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly, and somehow always finding his way back to the good.

Those are my latest greatest finds. Have any you’d like to share?

1, career, change, work

Beginning: Get It Done

Christa Avampato
from http://risefromyourashes.blogspot.com/

“You know the rule: If you are falling, dive. Do the thing that has to be done.” ~ Joseph Campbell (given to me by reader, MJ)

“If you have a financial safety net, you’ll always be able to walk away. And that in and of itself will prevent you from having to walk because you can be brutally honest about what you need to stay.” ~ Margaret Heffernan

Being truly honest in the workplace is difficult. Companies have these nasty little things called performance reviews that they can and often do lord over us to get us to fall in line. That is until you just can’t stomach the party line anymore. Some of us have lower tolerances for this than others. Mine is extraordinarily low to nonexistent. Everyone I’ve ever worked with will attest to this, and all of them will say that I am very straight-forward. My favorite description that one of my team mates used a number of years ago to describe me is “tough and fair.”

My mounting frustration at work over the past few months is plainly obvious, to me and to others, and this has been intentional. Authentically, I have to let others know when something just isn’t working. And finally I just decided something had to change, or I had to walk – or dive as Joseph Campbell would say. I am just done with the current situation, and during my mid-year review this week I expressed that. No anger or cynicism. Just a simple statement – “I’m done.” It needed to be said for my own health and the health of the whole system.

This kind of statement is alarming to most because a) few people speak that plainly at work and b) it takes a lot for most people to get to this point. It was a risk certainly, though with Margaret Heffernan’s brilliant advice and my saving abilities, I have the luxury, and I mean luxury to the highest degree for which I am very grateful!, to be able to back it up. I can walk if I need to or want to, and so I can lay out very clearly why improvement needs to be made quickly or we need to part ways.

I had my doubts about whether anything could or would be done in enough time, though I was pleasantly surprised to show up today and find that a shift was put into place overnight. I have some strong beliefs about improvement – 1) it’s a continuous process, 2) it’s always possible, and 3) it’s important to give people a chance to try. It’s incumbent upon us to lay out our frustrations clearly and succinctly, with possible solutions. It’s incumbent upon leaders to get to the bottom of those frustrations and try to solve the systematic problems that cause them. And if those leaders show a genuine effort in trying to improve, I think they deserve a chance to give it a whirl on our behalf. A former boss of mine once told me that it’s important to let people apologize for their mistakes. I’d extend that same kind of sentiment to improvement, too.

So, we’ll see how it goes. We’ll see if the change sticks and if this situation can be turned around, at least in the short-term. Clearly there is something for me to learn in this latest twist in the story. I promise to keep you updated.

generosity, happiness, impact, kindness

Beginning: The Secret to a Happy Life is to Be Good And Do Good

Christa Avampato

yvonnedevilliers.com
“Aim above morality. Be not simply good. Be good for something.” ~ Henry David Thoreau via Tiny Buddha

This week I’ve been preoccupied with and writing about a mission-driven life and the power of making our own personal missions the center of our work. A fulfilling, meaningful life requires a cause, a passion, a center. It’s important to be a good person – to be kind and generous and grateful. It’s equally as important to do something powerful with that goodness – to be helpful and inspiring and gracious.

I was on an elevator recently and someone gave my yoga mat bag a funny look. “Is that a weapon?” the man asked me. “Yes,” I replied. “It’s a weapon for goodness.” And it is.

The goal of my teaching is to help everyone I ever come in contact with, on and off the mat, to become the very best version of who they are. I’m at my best when I’m teaching yoga. There’s a certain ease and gladness that fills me up when I have the opportunity to pass on a gift that has been passed on to me by many patient and loving hearts. The very least I can do, in their honor, is to offer up the same gift to those who need it most.

Teaching yoga is my do good moment. What’s yours?

dreams, frustration, future, passion, patience

Beginning: Patience is the Partner of Progress

Christa Avampato

“Patience is the companion of wisdom.” ~ St. Augustine

Lately I’ve been itching to run, just take off on the open road of life so to speak and not look back. I’m not exactly sure where this feeling came from or why it’s persisting, but it is certainly familiar to me. It’s been a while since it’s made an appearance in my life, and I must admit that it feels like greeting an old friend who has been away for too long.

Someone wise once told me many years ago that change is good and I should embrace it, so long as I’m running to something and not away from something. When the running instinct showed up at my door a few weeks ago, I had to take a few steps back and really think about whether or not to let it in. Was I just so frustrated with certain circumstances in my life, compounded by the fact that I have such a clear vision now for Compass Yoga, that I was willing to do anything to feel like I was just moving, if not moving forward? Or were the options for change laid out in front of me truly something I wanted to embrace for their own sake? It comes down to priorities.

By nature, I am an impatient person. I see what needs to be done, what must be done, and I just want to go do it. I don’t want to ask permission. I just want to have the freedom to act by my own conscience. Having such a clear picture of Compass Yoga is both a blessing and a curse. It helps me channel my efforts straight to its purpose and it has become a very centering force in my life. However, it makes it very difficult for me to do anything but further its mission.

As of late, I’ve had some really incredible career opportunities cross my path, opportunities that even a year ago I would have given anything for. I wasn’t sure what to do, and so I sat in meditation, much longer than I usually do, hoping for an answer. And I got one. I turned them all down. All of them, in favor of putting my efforts into Compass Yoga. One of them was a dream business development job. I would have been a senior person in the organization charged with growing the company 20%+. I knew I could rise to a challenge like that, but the trouble is that if I’m going to grow anything 20%, it’s going to be my own organization, not someone else’s, no matter how great I think that other company is.

Patience is hard. We aren’t wired for it, but when we have a big audacious goal, we need patience and perseverance is equal amounts. I’ve been waiting for this moment to do my own thing, it’s almost here, and I was going to cloud it with someone else’s vision? No way. I’ve waited too long to have my turn at channeling all of my resources and experiences in the direction that I see fit. I can’t lose sight of that big picture now! This choice is part of the hero’s journey.

Like Hanuman, I am laying in wait for just a little while longer before springing into action. The opportune time is almost here – I can feel it with every fiber of my being. No sense in getting sidetracked now. My work, by my own definition, is too valuable to too many people. Focus is what’s needed.

career, change, commitment, courage

Beginning: Tear Down The Walls to Your Potential by Commiting to Your Own Road

Christa Avampato

Leap of Faith from liz-green.com
“The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating — in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.” ~Anne Morriss

MJ, one of the very loyal and resourceful readers of this blog, sent me this quote a few weeks ago and its been milling around in my mind ever since. I’ve been thinking a lot about boxes – the ones we put ourselves into, the ones we put other people into, and the ones others put us into. I’ve been thinking of taking a more freelance approach to my life and work, and this potential is causing equal amounts of anxiety and excitement. I feel like I’ve got one foot firmly planted on a ledge and one hanging in mid-air. To combat this feeling, I focus on my breath until the anxiety passes.

And then this quote by Anne Morriss will pop into my mind. Perhaps a commitment to this new road is what I need to put the fear to rest for good. Rather than going round and round about the possibility, what I may need to do is stop waiting and just leap. What I’m doing now feels akin to holding my breath, freezing so that I won’t slip or stumble. We exhibit the freeze response when we encounter fear that we feel like we can’t fight or flee. The fear is all around us and so we hold, hoping it passes us by without seeing us.

This fear I have at the moment is different. It doesn’t really ever subside because it’s in anticipation of a step I know I must eventually take. Just today, I spoke with 3 good friends who have come to the realization that they need to have greater control over their careers, and that means taking their careers more into their own hands rather than leaving their promotion entirely at the hands of others. One just joined a start-up, and two are considering their own ventures entirely. All came to this conclusion: they are their own best bosses.

Not perfect and certainly not without its own challenges, but as good as it gets.

What entrepreneurship gives us, as Anne Morriss so brilliantly gets at in her quote, is the removal of walls and barriers to our potential. So long as we allow someone else to put us in a box constructed completely of their goals, performance reviews, rules, and visions of success, then we give someone else the power to define our future. The only box I’m ultimately interested in is the box I put myself into because I always have the option to break out of that one and redefine its boundaries. Perhaps its time for some re-imagineering of just how my time is spent, with whom, and for what.

career

Beginning: Win a free ticket to Mediabistro’s Career Circus NYC on August 4th

Christa Avampato

Through the generosity of my friend, career guru, and founder of Exaqueo, Susan Strayer, I’m running my very first contest on this blog. Susan is speaking about the importance of having a strong personal brand at Mediabistro’s Career Circus on August 4th at 92YTribeca NYC. As a speaker, she has two free guest passes to give away and kindly offered them up to readers of Christa in New York. Each ticket would normally cost $145 and I’m so grateful to Susan for her offer!

Why you should enter this contest and go to Career Circus:
1.) Along with Susan’s stellar talk, you’ll have the opportunity to hear from a variety of career experts giving you guidance, new tools, peer support, and techniques for managing your career. This is advice and guidance we all need in this changing economy?

2.) In this economy, we use all of the good personal PR we can get and I want to help you out. So, if you win the drawing for one of the two passes, I’ll feature you in a post on this blog highlighting your professional expertise and what you bring to the table at any employers that is lucky enough to work with you.


How to win one of the two passes:
– Leave a comment on this post with your email address or Twitter handle, as well as any commentary on what you hope to learn at the Mediabistro Career Circus if you win one of the tickets.

OR

-Share this post via twitter and make sure your tweet includes “@christanyc” so I can track the retweet


When the winners will be announced:
I’ll choose two winners on Wednesday evening and announce them in Thursday’s post. I’ll also notify the winners via email and Twitter, and follow-up with them after the event to ask a few questions that will go into their feature post on this blog.

Good luck and I can’t wait to hear from you!

film, media, New York Times, news, newspapers

Beginning: Why I Decided to Re-Subscribe to The New York Times

Christa Avampato

I love the volume of news and information that literally flows through my hands on my phone. I can quickly and easily catch up on world events as I wait in line was and commute to work. I no longer print out directions or make lists for groceries and errands. I just store it all in my phone and it’s available whenever I need it. And still, I miss the newspaper on Sundays.

That changed today when my first paper Sunday Times in many years was delivered to my door. Two key events in the last few months led me to re-subscribe to The Times.

The front page
In March, I saw the premiere of the documentary Page One at SXSW. I was enthralled by the process that The New York Times goes through every day to decide what goes on the front page of the paper the next day. And the premiere, we learned that The Times would be moving to a subscription model of some kind in order to save its financials. After years of all we could read for free, the company had to make the bold move to protect itself in these turbulent media times. And in that moment I felt I had to subscribe to help protect The Times too. It is too big, too important, to fail.

A diary of epic proportions
A few weeks ago I went to the Human Rights Watch International Film Festival to see Tim Hetherington’s Diary. Diary is his autobiography in film form. When he submitted to the festival, he had every intention of being there for the Q&A. Sadly we lost Tim in Libya this Spring as he was there covering the unfolding conflict. His close friend, James Brabazon, described Tim as “a light so bright you could steer your boat by him.” He was nothing short of a genius with compassion and heart, and he spent a good deal of his career in journalism working for The New York Times among other top publications. My subscription money supports work like Tim’s, and it’s the least I can do after all that The Times has done for me for so many years.

My Sunday morning
6 days a week you’ll find me reading as many articles as I can on my phone and my laptop, taking in world-class digital content from The Times thanks to my subscription. (All subscriptions allow for full access to all digital content.) And on Sunday mornings, I’ll happily be on my coach, CBS Sunday Morning on my TV, coffee or tea in hand, Phineas next to me, reading The New York Times in black and white.

career, nonprofit, story, yoga

Beginning: Compass Yoga’s Story Resonates with Lawyers to Secure Pro Bono Legal Counsel

Christa Avampato

“Stories can conquer fear, you know. They can make the heart bigger.” ~ Ben Okri

This week I learned an enormous amount about the power of authentic storytelling. I founded Compass Yoga to provide yoga and wellness programming to populations dealing with specific health concerns. Given the incredible need, we are focusing our efforts on helping returning veterans, their families, and their caregivers, particularly those who are challenged with PTSD and other stress- and anxiety-induced illnesses. For some people, this is a difficult mission to imagine. They can’t see how veterans will ever take to yoga and other therapeutic treatments outside of traditional Western medicine. I understand their concern, and so storytelling has become a major focus for us.

On Tuesday, I presented to Lawyers Alliance, an amazing nonprofit who mission is to assist existing and would-be nonprofit organizations with legal matters. I requested their help in filing for nonprofit incorporation and 501(c)(3) status. To begin the process, I applied, had a phone interview, and then presented my case to them in-person. I was acutely aware of the my presentation’s dual-purpose – first, I needed to demonstrate the practical need for the organization and the logistics I would put in place to deliver on the mission. Then, they needed to see if I was passionate about the idea; they needed to hear my personal story. In short, they to know why this organization matters – to the world and to me.

I am so happy and grateful to report that on Friday I learned that Lawyers Alliance has agreed to take Compass Yoga on as a client. For a small retainer fee and necessary government filing fees, they will help us through the process of incorporation, set-up, tax-exemption filing, and other associated needs. Now the match-making process begins and they will contract with a pro bono attorney from a firm to work with me and the Compass Yoga Board on these actions.

When I received the notification, I literally started jumping around my apartment. I couldn’t believe this incredible good fortune. Wins like this make me want to work even harder to realize all of the potential for healing we have brewing with Compass Yoga.

A million thanks to so many of you who have sent your good wishes, resources, ideas, suggestions, links, and general goodness in this effort. None of this would be possible without all of you. It takes a village to grow and spread a good story, and I’m honored and humbled to be among you on this road. Today, my heart is full of gladness and sincere appreciation. Through my teaching, I’ll pay it all forward many times over.

choices, clarity, dreams, faith

Beginning: Your Mission Possible

Christa Avampato

“What we need is more people who specialize in the impossible.” ~Theodore Roethke

A few days ago, the brilliant Tom Friedman wrote his weekly New York Times opinion piece on “The Start-up of You“. It’s a quick read, insightful, and hopeful. The last few lines are particularly poignant for me: You have to strengthen the muscles of resilience. “You may have seen the news that [the] online radio service Pandora went public the other week,” Hoffman said. “What’s lesser known is that in the early days [the founder] pitched his idea more than 300 times to V.C.’s with no luck.” In other words, you’ve got to have confidence in your own center.

This concept of confidence in our center is particularly powerful for me lately as I work on providing yoga and meditation to people who are recovering from trauma. One of the main challenges in transcending trauma is that trauma robs us of our center. In trauma, we have trouble getting quiet and going inside to tap our deepest wisdom. The trauma itself becomes our center; the focal point around which our other decisions are made.

Once we have a healthy center, of our own creation and internally guided, our confidence grows. And it’s not blind confidence or an overly powerful ego – it’s the quiet confidence that radiates from us. It’s charisma and authenticity.

That’s what Tim Westergren, the founder of Pandora, has. I heard him speak at Darden while I was a student there, and his vision and purpose are so clear. Despite the naysayers and those who thought the idea of Pandora would just never work, he could keep going and keep pitching his clear, simple message about the service. It was his center.

That’s how Compass Yoga was born and why its mission continues to drive me. When everything else falls away, I have my experience and my yoga. Those two things travel with me everywhere, and together they planted the seed that became Compass Yoga’s mission to provide wellness programs to those with a specific health concern. That is my center, what I know to be possible even if others see it as otherwise.

So now this begs the question, what is your center? What sustains you when everything and everyone else falls away, and how can you share that for the benefit of the world around you?