Month: May 2011

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Beginning: My Favorite Quotes About Meaingful Living on 5/21/11

Christa Avampato

I hadn’t heard about the doomsday movement set to begin today, 5/21/11, until my pal, Jennilyn, sent around an invite for a dance party celebrating the last day of the world. My immediate response was, “If the world is coming to an end, I’m going out dancing.” Still, I’m taking this moment in time to log some of my favorite quotes about meaningful living, and hope that 5/21/11 begins a different kind of movement for all of us, one of rebirth and renewed purpose, rather than the beginning of the end:

“You have to be proud of yourself because sometimes you’re all you’ve got.” ~ that poet from the comics, Denis the Menace

“You have to prepare to be lucky.” ~ Joan Ganz Cooney, Founder of the Sesame Workshop

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear,our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

“If you go to your grave without painting your masterpiece, it will not get painted. No one else can paint it. Only you.” ~ Gordon MacKenzie, Orbiting the Giant Hairball: A Corporate Fool’s Guide to Surviving with Grace

“If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.” ~ Mister Rogers, The World According to Mister Rogers

“Happiness is a warm puppy.” ~ Charles Schultz via his famous character, Charlie Brown

“Courage means being scared to death…and saddling up anyway.” ~ John Wayne

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow’.” ~ Mary Anne Radmacher

“The woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep. And miles to go before I sleep. And miles to go before I sleep.” ~ Robert Frost

“Become the sky…Walk out like someone suddenly born into color…Let the beauty we love be what we do…There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.” ~ Rumi

I plan to be here tomorrow because my work is not yet done. I hope you’ll join me.

cooking, family, food, grandmother, memory

Beginning: May 20th, pizzelle cookies, and my Grandmother, Sadie

Christa Avampato

Pizzelle cookies, an Italian classic
May 20th is a date that has a lot of significance for me. It’s the date that I graduated from college and from business school, two enormous milestones in my life. More importantly, May 20th was my Grammy’s birthday. She passed away 11 years ago, 2 weeks before my birthday, and every day since she has been with me. Never far from my mind, and easily found in my regular activities.

She loved to find a good bargain while shopping. She was a relentless coupon clipper. My favorite of her finds was a pair of pink jeans that I loved when I was a kid. She bought them for me for $0.99 and I remember how brightly she smiled at that price tag. I think my sister, Weez, got a pair, too, though that detail is more fuzzy in my mind than Grammy’s smile. She would turn 92 today.

There are also certain foods that I always associate with her. She was a simple cook, though there are unmistakable flavors that always remind me of her. Finely chopped carrots and green peppers in meatballs, an apple cake that was my favorite, cheese ravioli, blueberry muffins, Salada tea with sugar and milk, and pizzelle cookies that her friend, Theresa, always used to make when she knew my mom and her gaggle of kids would be visiting.

I was wandering through Whole Foods this weekend doing my weekly shopping. They had a huge display of pizzelle cookies. They weren’t as beautiful as the ones I remember from Grammy’s house, though they were available in a bunch of different flavors, which I thought Grammy would have gotten a kick out of. Then I turned over the package and saw the $4.99 price. I’m sure Grammy would have been disgusted to see such a high price. I bought them any way.

As I rounded the corner with the pizzelles in hand, I could have sworn I felt a small tap on my shoulder. I turned around but no one was there. No one was physically there any way, but I felt a very warm glow and my eyes started to tear up. I’d like to think she was there with me, right next to me winding through the aisles as I filled up my cart. I made sure everything else I put into my cart was indeed a bargain by her standards.

It’s funny what food can do. How it can sneak its way into your heart through your taste buds; how it can help you keep a warm and happy memory alive even when it’s pouring buckets of rain outside; how it can bring someone to your dinner table even though she hasn’t been with you for so many years. I went home, had one of my too-expensive pizzelle cookies, a cup of tea, and tossed up a prayer of gratitude for the opportunity to have had someone in my life as special as my Grammy.

books, gratitude, women, work

Beginning: The Prize of Honesty

Christa Avampato

“It pays to be honest, but it’s slow pay.” ~ Proverb via Tiny Buddha

I recently met a new colleague who shares a lot of the sentiments I have about yoga, meditation, and what really matters in life. It was a refreshing introduction and a reminder that wherever you are, there are like minds. You may need to draw them out by trumpeting your own beliefs. As Clarissa Pinkola Estes said so beautifully, “She who does not howl will never find her pack.”

This path of finding your pack is not easy. It requires courage and faith. You will be asked to think and act like every one around you. You will have to be brave to be authentic. You will be told that thinking and acting like everyone around you is what you need to do to get ahead when the truth is a that thinking and acting like everyone else is a farce. That group persona doesn’t represent the persona of any individual member. It’s a vague meet-in-the-middle, mediocre compromise. And it doesn’t serve anyone well.

My advice, as I’ve given before, is to Be on Record. Be respectful of your environment while also being who you are. Listen and then speak up. Yes, honesty yields slow pay, but it carries a greater guarantee of a purposeful life in the long run. Steady, and authentic, wins the race.

experience, yoga

Beginning: Be Where You Are

Christa Avampato

“Progress is what you make of it.” ~ Matthew Sanford

While I was doing my yoga teacher training, a number of my training friends and I were frustrated with our progress. We were all searching for a greater sense of understanding of very complex ideas in our own practices. One of our instructors, Jeffrey, gave us some very sound advice that sticks with me every day: Enjoy the view, whatever it is, wherever you are. There is always something to see from every vantage point.

Every step we take, every experience we have, is unique. We will never have the chance to relive it exactly as it is in this moment. It’s a snapshot that we need to grab a hold of and appreciate for all that it has to offer us. There is so much learning and wisdom available at every moment. It is a reason for gratitude. Even the trying moments, perhaps especially the trying moments, are here for a reason.

I often wish life was easier. I wish it didn’t take so much difficulty for us to learn some lessons. But we are complex beings, and as a result create complex systems and circumstances. I try to take the long view as often as I can. I try to remember that everything I experience supports my own evolution and development. Whenever I feel my frustration rising, I try to remember that this moment, like every other moment, will pass. What will ultimately make a difference is what I do with each of these experiences going forward and that has everything to do with how I progress.

cooking, eating, family, food, friendship

Beginning: The Healing Story of Eating

Christa Avampato

The Reagan dinner table from the CBS hit show Blue Bloods. The dinner table scenes have been hailed as the best part of the show.
“People are at their best when they eat together.” ~ Matthew Sanford

I heard Matthew Sanford speak at the Yoga Journal Conference in New York this past weekend. I recently finished up his book Waking, about the car accident that left him paralyzed at age 13 and his yogic path that truly created his healing process. Matthew talks about how much he wanted to eat and how much he missed the act of eating in the early days of his physical recovery after the accident. His simple statement above really touched me so deeply – togetherness is the very best part of cooking, eating, and food in general.

In the past few months, I’ve started to cook more often. Every week, I take a few simple recipes, make my list, and take myself over to my local Whole Foods to gather the key ingredients. I’ve also had more people over to my tiny apartment to share a meal. My friends feel so grateful though they all always say, “You don’t need to go to any trouble for me.” It’s actually no trouble at all. It’s a joy for me to cook for them. In Matthew Sanford’s words, “It is a healing story.”

Food brings us together, and together, all healing is possible. Bon appetit! Mangia! Enjoy!

career, choices, decision-making, friendship, time

Beginning: In Your Job Search, What’s Your Single Most Important Ask?

Christa Avampato

“The only universal resource is time.”

I’ve recently had separate conversations with 2 friends that followed the exact same path. Like me, Amy and Michael are putting financial plans in place to assure that in the future they work on the projects that mean the most to them. They don’t want to retire early in the traditional sense. They absolutely want to keep working throughout their lives. They just want the option to work on their own personal passions.

This is a different way of thinking about work and savings. The 3 of us have jobs that satisfy certain requirements, though none of us would call them the ideal roles for us. Truthfully, the only ideal roles for us are the ones we create ourselves, for ourselves. So what has been our search criteria for work? Time. Our #1 requirement in our job searches has been to have jobs that provide us with the time and flexibility to work on our own personal projects, the projects that feed our souls. And to use our jobs to build up our savings to make more of those projects possible.

Another friend of mine recently criticized this view of my job. “You are really wasting your time,” she said. “It’s really a shame that you don’t have a job that challenges you more.” What I thought was shameful is that she lives for her job for a very large company that really has no sense of loyalty to her. If anything, this recession has shown me that your top priority needs to be you and the people whose lives you personally and professionally effect. I have plenty of challenge in my life – I challenge myself with all of my creative projects that happen outside of my office building. They are the projects that truly mean something to me and to the world. They are the accomplishments I am most proud of.

To be clear, I appreciate the skills I’ve built and experiences I’ve had at my company. It’s provided me with a good living and a manageable schedule to make my yoga, writing, and personal life rich and meaningful. It’s helped me look at the world in a new way. It’s given me numerous opportunities to give back to my community, donating time and money to worthy causes. It serves a tremendous purpose, even at the times that it frustrates me.

If you’re searching for a new job, or even just contemplating leaving your current role, be very clear about your situation. What are you leaving, what are you looking for, and what needs to be there for you in the next pasture?

books, clarity, health, inspiration, New York City, yoga

Beginning: Yoga Teacher and Writer Matthew Sanford on Awareness and Compassion at the New York Yoga Journal Conference

Christa Avampato

Matthew Sanford
“I have never seen anyone truly become more aware of his or her body without also becoming more compassionate.” ~ Matthew Sanford, yoga teacher and author Waking: A Memoir of Trauma and Transcendence

My Uncle Tom recently recommended Matthew Sanford to me after hearing him speak. Given my devotion to yoga and my desire to use it to serve the healing of those who are working through trauma, he thought Matthew’s story and message would immediately resonate with me. My uncle knows me well. Upon reading his website and getting only a small glimpse into his experience, I was entranced.I felt like I really needed to hear this story at this moment and connect with Matthew.

So it was a wonderful and synchronous surprise that Matthew is in town for the New York Yoga Journal Conference. He gave a talk yesterday that was open to the public – many thanks to my pal, Yogadork, for cluing me into the event. I had no idea he would be speaking in town and would have been so upset if I had missed the opportunity to hear him talk about his personal and professional work with trauma. Much to my delight, he was even more intriguing and engaging in person than he is in his book. I didn’t think this was possible because I loved the book so much. I could hardly believe it. It’s like hearing a musician who sounds even better in person than he does on his hit album.

I sat with my friend, Erica, of Yogoer fame, and she described Matthew’s style perfectly. “He sifted through so much information that I have in my own mind and didn’t know how to articulate.” His words are poignant, authentic, and perfectly selected without feeling rehearsed. All without notes, nor a single pause or “um”. I could have listened to him all afternoon. My only disappointment was that his hour-long talk passed too quickly.

He discussed his area of expertise – the depth and breadth of the mind-body connection and its ability, when fully manifested in each of us, to change the world. He explained how important it is for our own happiness and for the good of the world for each of us to move in so that we can move out. The answers to all our challenges are within us already, no outside resource necessary. We know what to do, if only we would take the time to listen to the wisdom in our own bodies, in our own hearts. We have the ability to alter our own reality, and the greater world around us, by redefining our experience in this very moment. We have the ability, right now, to change everything. “The principles of yoga don’t discriminate,” Matthew said. How true that is. If you can breathe, just breathe, you can access all of the wisdom that yoga has to give.

My favorite sentiment from Matthew’s book is the connection he draws between awareness and compassion. I am particularly drawn to this idea because of my one word purpose that I’ve been working with this year: awareness. When I heard Dr. Chopra speak earlier this year, he inspired me to go looking for this one word purpose as a direction for all of my work. Awareness, to wake up and help others do the same, rose to the top.

Matthew and his story helped me make the next leap on my journey. What do I do once I wake up, once I can be fully aware at every moment? What is the point of attaining awareness? My compassion will grow as a result. And with compassion, real healing begins. As Matthew so brilliantly stated, “Compassion gives us a way to sit with suffering and not try to fix it.” And if we can sit with suffering long enough, we will find that it begins to dissipate on its own without a threat of returning. By being present with suffering, we give it a container to empty into and then we can melt it down, taking only its lessons with us and releasing the pain and confusion it causes.

Letting go takes time; compassion achieved through awareness gives us the necessary patience to allow for the process of letting go to progress. It gives us the time we need, for our own healing and to help others heal, too.

For more information about Matthew and his work, visit his website.

comedy, film, friendship, women

Beginning: Women in Comedy Shine in Bridesmaids

Christa Avampato

My friend, Amanda, and I went to see Bridesmaids on its opening night. A group outing was promoted by G.L.O.C., Gorgeous Ladies of Comedy. Amanda, being a comedic actress and one of the funniest people I know, asked if I’d like to join her in supporting the movie and I didn’t hesitate to switch my plans and happily join her. The film is laugh out-loud funny with a whole host of stand-out performances and brilliant writing. It also felt great to be in a theater of women supporting other women in their creative endeavors, an activity that just doesn’t happen often enough. We need more of it.

It reminded me of the competitive streak that runs through us all, and yet seems to most prominently rear its ugly head as women duke it out with one another. There’s some of that tension in Bridesmaids as well, though I loved the twists and turns that the movie takes on this theme. Two of the bridesmaids go head-to-head right from the get-go but the incredibly talented Kristen Wiig, writer and leading lady of the movie, doesn’t let the stereotype go stale. She reminds us that every outward feeling we have toward another person, no matter the reason, is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves and the direction of our own lives. It’s a tough fact to accept though Wiig has a way of making this difficult and prickly subject feel fresh, vibrant, and something we can own.

The film also illustrates a story of regret, forgiveness, and redemption. It stands as an example of the magic that comes from brutally honesty with ourselves and others. That honesty is the foundation for the heartfelt, meaningful relationships that gives us the opportunity to learn a little more about ourselves everyday. Bridemaids is a perfect example of truth in comedy at its finest.

Now playing in theaters everywhere.

women, youth

Beginning: What It Means to be Young at Heart

Christa Avampato

From http://weheartit.com
“Everyone is the age of their heart.” ~ Guatemalan Proverb via Daily Good

“You look really good for 35.” One of my co-workers said that to me this week. I adore her and I know she meant it as a compliment though it struck me as such an odd thing to say. Exactly what does 35 look like? I turned 35 in March and detailed out 35 things I’ve learned along the way in this lifetime. As I wrote the post, I was continually surprised by how un-35 I felt.

The other day I was brushing my teeth and it happened. One little lone white hair. I immediately ran to Google and found that stray white hairs can happen at any age and one really doesn’t signify anything. I looked a little closer at the mirror. No wrinkles yet. “Good,” I thought. “This oily skin of mine has some upside.” I promptly started to see a dermatologist for the first time in my life to make sure I keep this skin as long as possible. No matter what Google says, that little white hair was a wake-up call. Time is passing by, like it or not. I was surprised by my reaction. Maybe I am not as okay with aging as I thought I was.

And then I saw this Guatemalan proverb on Daily Good’s email. It made me laugh at all my determination to not get older, or at least not to look like I’m getting older. In my heart, I’m still sorting it all out, still experimenting, and still beginning. Now I’m starting to realize that perhaps this sorting is a lifelong process, for the young and the young at heart.

I’m reminded of Sandra Cisnero‘s writing that says we are always all the ages we’ve ever been. We carry that experience, that memory, that outlook with us. Whether or not we have white hair and wrinkles, there’s a part of our heart that is always young. And that is a comfort at any age.

teaching, yoga

Beginning: ISHTA Yoga Teacher Training Info Session

Christa Avampato

Yogiraj Alan Finger, Founder of ISHTA
Last week I went to an information session at ISHTA for yoga teacher training. About a year ago I completed by 200 hour level teacher training at Sonic and since then have been tossing around the idea of doing a 500 level training. I almost took that up at Sonic, though I had some reservations about the style, scheduling, and cost of the program at Sonic. I have also increasingly become interested in a more integrated holistic approach with yoga as a piece of the pie combined with Ayurveda and therapeutics. This interest in a holistic approach led me to ISHTA (which stands for Integrated System of Hatha, Tantra, and Ayurveda.)

The info session included a mini class which felt very familiar to me and in line with the way I approach my own teaching. Alan Finger, the founder of ISHTA, offered a meditation that felt good to my heart. His approach, and the approach of all of his teachers, focuses on helping each teacher find his or her own voice, their own best version of the practice. I like the personalization and the feeling of openness and acceptance I found nestled into their safe space on East 11th Street. I was able to relax and smile in the warmth and glow of that community. It felt comfortable, like home.

I have decided to explore the possibility of further teacher training for three main reasons:

1.) The 200 hour training certainly improves an individual’s practice and further understanding of yoga. What it doesn’t teach you is now to teach. While sequencing and practice teaching were certainly a part of my 200 hour training, there simply are not enough hours to delve deeply into the art and craft of teaching. I have a natural gift for teaching, though I want to have the opportunity to hone that skill under the guidance of a master teacher.

2.) Because of my interest in therapeutic yoga, and specifically in the area of trauma, I need further training in anatomy and neurophysiology. While I have been reading books and materials on the subject, the cases I’m most interested in working on are with populations like veterans, disaster survivors, civic workers like those in the police and fire departments, and rehabilitation patients. This is very specialized work and in order to help these people to the very best of my abilities I want to feel confident that I am fully prepared to help them through these challenges.

3.) My favorite part of my teacher training at Sonic was the group of beautiful souls that I traveled through the training with. They have become a precious part of my life and if there is an opportunity to have that experience again while gaining all of these skills that I’m so passionate about then I’m glad to snap up the opportunity!

Timing
Now the question remains about timing. ISHTA has a program coming up in the Fall that will be happening right around the time that I plan to move to a new apartment and possibly begin my next career adventure. This could be challenging so it will be a few months before I know how everything is shaking out. I promise to share the details here and soon as I have all my yogic ducks in a row! Thanks for sharing in this journey with me.